woops

as you can see, i COMPLETELY forgot to mention college visiting. i guess it feels like a very very small portion of my trip, although it was supposedly the main reason i went at all. and i know how you guys are about these things. you gotta know! so. dad and i attended loyola on friday and tulane yesterday. of the two, i definitely prefer loyola. even if it is catholic. it's more personal, and the campus is smaller and nicer than tulane. at loyola, before the tour started, each prospective student and parent met with a separate admissions consuelor to give us an overview of the school and talk about our chances of getting into the school and what major we're thinking about. tulane showed a video and gave us soda. tulane intimidated me a little, although they do have very nice facilities, but their tour guide was boring and seemed less informed than the loyola girl. what can i say? i'm a simple girl. plus i saw more interesting kids at loyola. and i'm sure it didn't help that we went to tulane on my last day in new orleans after i'd gotten very little sleep. i was really sore from the concert and walking around with dad all afternoon in the rain at the damn riverwalk, which is a big ole mall sitting right on the mississippi. i hate it. and at tulane we were walking all over a much bigger campus than at loyola, where we got a better look INSIDE buildings, classrooms, the library, and lived-in dorms. so tulane's tour was less thorough and shorter than loyola's. still, through the whole thing, i kept trying to make myself like tulane more since i know it's such a good school and everything i saw there was so nice. but i was in a shitty mood and it just really wasn't for me. the end.

it's my voodoo working

just got back from new orleans and the voodoo music experience. since we all know i've had repeated problems with confidentiality and the internet in the past, i'm not going to repeat the sex/drugs/rocknroll version here. you'll have to ask me for the dirty details. however, i CAN say: i had an awesome trip. new orleans is great. music is great. people are great. pixies cemented their place as my favorite band by putting on a goddamn amazing performance. brandon is a beautiful human being, and so is my dad for letting me spend as much time on my own as he did. and brandon's friends are fucking great. i love all of them. at this point i'm still too crazy hazy feeling to put any other sorts of general thoughts into intelligible sentences. all i want is a nap, but i've got pounds of homework to do. alas, my doves, i must away.

listening to: pj harvey - long snake moan

all in all

the weekend was very weird -- up and down and up and down and up. i'm so dizzy i can't tell how it's ended, which is probably good for now. yesterday i moped around, went to rehearsal, parked it up with LA, laylee, brock, and margaret. margaret and i ended up driving around alone for a good hunk of the night. Park is the best street in this damn city, we have decided. we found a dixie queen and had huge dipped cones. it was brilliant. i love shit and i love margaret.
i spent all of today just being pathetic in general. but i got to listen to good music while doing it, so i guess i didn't waste any time. i'm going to go to school as few days as possible in next two weeks. look out for my absence. mwahahahhaaha i'm totally going to get kicked out. i can't wait.

bipolar bear

i can feel today beginning to suck. it's not a good feeling to have on the saturday morning of a long weekend. i went to bed in a really weird mood and couldn't sleep because of that and an awful stomachache. i woke up at 6:30 to the sounds of a dying stereo, making god knows what kind of noises. i sort of got back to sleep but dad woke me up when he bumbled through the room trying to find a comic book. i've wasted my whole morning. i'm eating scrambled eggs. i'm going to spend the next hour attempting to memorize lines i should've learned days ago. i'll spend three hours at rehearsal doing the same things over and over again. and then i'll come home. and sit. someone should call me at 4pm to make my evening nice. i dare you.

i'm not alone with these stars on me

i barely remember school, so there's no reason to even mention it. zoe picked me up and i spent the entire lovely afternoon with her. i absolutely stuffed myself full of reese's cups, coffee, gum, sprite, bubblegum, apple juice, and a meal at the cupboard consisting of mac & cheese (i had a craving in government today), chicken, and cornbread muffins. sweet lord. i'm so fucking stuffed i can't even move. we hung out at a party at her dad's gallery downtown for a bit. that always fascinates me. art feels so alien to me, although i love it. i like to look at pieces without knowing how they're done. artists would probably slay me for such blasphemy, but i can't help it. i apologize in advance. we went back to zoe's beautiful home and watched a lovely mexican movie called like water for chocolate which was very well shot, even if it felt incredibly long and drawn out. i liked the magical aspect of it. i'm such a sucker for a good fairy tale. at any rate, it was a very nice surprise of an evening. although now i feel totally bloated like a beached whale. aoigighghe. fortunately, i'm wearing nothing but my granny's old pink silk nightgown and it's as though i'm about to slide away. i could really use a cigar. any 18-year-olds up for doing me a favor?
i feel very guilty that i have not yet memorized my lines. oh well, pleanty of time tomorrow!
the hairct offer still stands.

listening to: throwing muses - mr. bones

i know you know

anybody want to cut my hair this weekend? i'm dead serious. whoever shows up with a pair of scissors and a couple of eyeballs is free to snip away. first come first serve.

listening to: eisley - telescope eyes

home again

blaghhhh. i've got a constant headache, except for when i'm lying down. in the dark. with no noise. i'm okay right now because i just got up, but soon it'll be back. i've had this shit for 2 days now and i'm sick of it. how do you get rid of the eternal headache?

always on the...

another weekend comes to a close, and i have nothing to show for it, other than being about 20 times grosser than i was before. i stuffed my face with donuts, lard cookies, and coffee for the entirety of friday. i haven't done much better since. eblagioghe. i should be studying for math. i did three practice problems, is that enough to barely pass the test?

listening to: landing - fluency of colors

"we just can."

tonight i watched "the graduate" with my family. it is hysterical and amazing. what a damn great movie.

listening to: har mar superstar - cry 4 help

get in the zone of positivity

yesterday fluctuated between bad and good too many times for me to count. it ended well, though, because i got to go out to coffee with margaret. i never ever get to see her, and i love the girl to death. however, i'm grounded so i can't go out this weekend. oh well. somehow i don't mind that much.

listening to: a tribe called quest - excursions

senior out-to-lunch

have we decided yet where we're going? can someone clue me in? i'm totally lost this week.
fuck it.

ain't too proud to beg

anyone want to buy scribbler patronages from me? please say yes. if you give me $10+ you get a free copy. plus my eternal love. i'll make you cookies.

good thing we travel well together

compiled for me by brandon when he went home. posting the tracks so that i can get together a playlist. you don't have to pay attention.

01) interpol - leif erikson
02) radiohead - talk show host
03) cat power - cross bones style
04) beck - sing it again
05) diane izzo - lavender street
06) adam green - bleeding heart
07) sublime - slow ride
08) talking heads - girlfriend is better
09) kelis featuring nas - in public
10) julie ruin - stay monkey
11) kimya dawson - nobody's hippie
12) andrew bird - lull
13) myshkin - birds of a feather
14) the moldy peaches - goodbye song

you're so cute when you're sedated

so i'm told.
i had a horrible day.
i might break from blogging for a while... i haven't decided yet.

listening to: interpol - PDA

we wait for our plans to come true

this is one of those weekends that i really don't want to be documented, through blogger or otherwise. i guess it was important in some ways... but guess what? you don't get to hear about them. i leave you with but one final discovery this evening:
i could live on mac and cheese.
(and if you just GOTTA have more juicy tidbits from my life, you can read my post from a week ago which i finally finished.)

listening to: throwing muses- serene

before i die...

i LOVE that LA has been playing pixies in her car nonstop. i'm so very proud. tonight was the scribbler potluck dinner thingie, which was awkward at first but in the end, more entertaining than i thought it would be. i'm going to go see what homework i have to do, and try to avoid all of it. i haven't done a cent of stuff at home this week, so why stop now? i'm going to fail all my classes anyway. bwahahaha. i am sooooo full of food and people chow. holy god.

women continue to resist and persist

i love ani difranco. unfortunately, i don't love quite a few of her fans. people are so annoying, and i swear they're getting worse. still, the show was amazing.

HOO-HA!

i've decided i really have to go to college at columbia in chicago because look what i could major in: motherfucking SOUND. do you know how great it would be to say "yes, i am a sound major." oh lord. i'm going to explode.
so i'm supposed to be finding kimya dawson (1/2 of the moldy peaches) a place to play here on november 2. if anyone knows how to go about booking a show or who to contact, could they please let me know? this is very important to me, seeing as kimya dawson is a genius and i need her in my life.
tomorrow is ani difranco. i need to go get feministic and listen to some rage. if anyone needs tickets, the only place to get them now is at the cat's in cordova. brock has to go pick up mouse's and eileen's from there tonight, if i'm not mistaken, and if you'd like him to do the same for you, give him a call.
on saturday morning while i was sound asleep, my father purchased his and my tickets for voodoo, without my knowledge. so the buying-in-one-big-clump thing is out.... whether for good or ill, though, the man is definitely going. so if you need him to talk to your parents and convince them to let you go because he's obviously a very qualified chaperone, he'll do the do. also, i'll definitely be making a college visit, although i'm not sure what day. so if you can't be there for that, we need to make other ride arrangements. let's do it up. i'm REALLY REALLY REALLY excited!!!!!

listening to: julie ruin - love letter

i don't like mondays

today was one of the worst mondays. it felt like the week should be much farther along, and it was really hard to remember that brandon was here just yesterday. he's barely been back home for 24 hours. i wish he wasn't there. nothing makes sense. i'm really unhappy and uncomfortable, and i hate talking about it. today i decided that i would like to be a more private person, but knowing me, it probably won't work out.

listening to: sublime - get ready

breathe

i've just had an absolutely crazy, very great, yet very surreal 6 days. tuesday brandon got here at about midnight, and we sort of accidentally stayed up all night. his family, who were also evacuating new orleans and heading to memphis, got into town at 5:30am and came to escort him to the house of the friend they were staying with. the plan was for him to stay there until his family left on friday, and then hopefully stay with my family for the weekend. however, as brandon found out 45 minutes later on wednesday morning, this home for refugees was also being occupied by another new orleans family, and was located in olive branch. therefore, brandon showed up at my house after school and never left. thanks to my wonderful parents, who will apparently take in any stray. he, brock, morgan, and i hung out at home for a while before heading to pick up tarah and eating a lovely dinner at memphis pizza cafe. LA met up with us as well, but she and brock had to go home before tarah, brandon, and i went to play in the park and go out for dessert. brandon and i went to sonic, where i got the goddamn thickest vanilla shake of my lifetime and we sat forever listening to the tribe called quest album i had recieved in the mail that day. which is great, by the way. back at home, i did no homework and got little sleep. brandon was feeling guilty about invading our home, so as a favor to my parents, he drove morgan and i to school on thursday. he was supposed to go to the zoo with his family, but something happened and he just wasted a bunch of time driving all the way to olive branch and back out to my house a couple times? there was some craziness that happened and it turned out that he was supposed to pick us up from school, which i didn't know, and had katherine drive me home. which turned out to be nice because she got to meet brandon for real and inhale cloves with us on the patio. that was nice although i wish politics hadn't come up... that's okay because i think they still like each other. mom took me to get my new reading glasses and also to get my regular ones adjusted. when i got home, katherine had gone home, so i bunkered down to do some homework. morgan and brandon kept me company, and made sure i got very little work done. they went to pick up some backyard burgers for us, and i managed to complete six physics problems. eventually i gave up so that brandon and i could go crazy. LA came over in the middle of it to work on something for art class, and while we loved seeing her, i think she was annoyed that it took her so long to get her stuff done. morgan also was working on an art project, and i had a hard time sitting still for her to draw me. sorry, guys. i hope you both get an A from the brilliant mr. berlin. once everybody was done working, brandon and i listened to kid a and beck and had a lovely night. he took us to school in the morning, this time because our parents couldn't. he came to lunch, and i got to sort of show him off. he let me eat half of his sonic toaster sandwich, and life was good. i think he had a good time, even though lunch is so short and i felt guilty that he had to drive all the way out to school just for a few measly minutes with my posse. i tried to convince him to come to all three lunches, but he wouldn't. oh well. he had to come BACK to pick us up. morgan had to do something with ms. kitts, so while we were waiting, we sat in front of the school listening to iggy pop and smoking cloves. it was the real punk rock. when we got home, we lay around on the futon forever waiting for plans to get made. eventually we hopped in the car, turned on the fugees, and went to pick up laylee and alice. on the way we saw about 23957023575320 cops and they stuck around to make a theme of the night. it was pretty weird, but we had a really wholesome day so nobody minded. it was just damn weird. anyway, we couldn't think of a goddamn thing to do so we drove all the way back to midtown and got milkshakes from java. everything was blocked off crazy because they were setting up for the cooper-young festival. being at java was sort of depressing, but nobody really suggested leaving. we ended up buying this cd called "nose songs" by a local guy named müller who uses melodies to bob dylan songs and writes his own lyrics. we then decided we were hungry, and somehow the collective BRILLIANCE of alanna, brandon, laylee, and alice made us decide to go to molly's where we ordered literally nothing but chips, salsa, bean dip, and cheese dip. SWEET LORD. we all felt bloody AWFUL after that, as you can imagine, so we high-tailed it home. we all lay on the futon in the dark and cuddled. brandon and i listened to the cd while laylee and alice gossiped and giggled. LA finally brought don over for us to meet him at like 8 something and we dragged ourselves out of bed to rent a movie at black lodge. it took us forever, but we finally came home happy and ready with "heathers." in the middle of it, kevin showed up with motherfucking william, who was in town for his mom's birthday. we turned off the movie and talked to them for a few strange minutes before they left to explore the city's changes. we put the movie back on, and alice fell asleep quickly afterwards. it ended some time after 1am, and we drove laylee and alice back home and saw 239057352 more cops on the way. i slept allllll morning long-- brandon didn't wake me up until 12, probably prompted by my father, to tell me that i had to be at theatreworks in an hour. the first rehearsal for the show was three hours long, but it went pretty well and i had a good time. even though i was anxious about getting home the whole time. if we weren't going to miss two ensemble rehearsals for voodoo, i would've tried to get out of that one. for brandon's sake, of course. he stayed at home and watched raising arizona and rock n roll high school. back at home, we sat around on the couch for a while before heading over to the cooper-young festival. to be honest, i don't know why we went, other than to see people. i don't think we stopped at any booth for more than a minute, and we only stopped at about three. we just sort of mosied along hoping to glimpse a familiar face. we did a good job of that, but then we never really talked to anyone for that long, unless they ended up joining our procession. it was a really weird concept to even be there that way. we eventually made it into java, after latching onto brock, eileen, mouse, and some friend of somebody's who i don't know. in java we found becca, daniell, laylee, kevin, and william who we sort of sort of kind of attempted to make future plans with, but did a horrible job. brandon and i got really hungry but didn't want to eat at the festival. with yet another craving for pizza coming on, we grabbed morgan and high-tailed it over to memphis pizza cafe where we had a strange meal because i made morgan feel to guilty to buy anything since she'd forgotten money. i'm a horrible person and i'm sorry. then she had to go home to work or something? we dropped her off back at home. we went on a quest for greenery and ended up on the metal floor of peabody park's jungle gym. so that was a failure, but we had managed to enjoy ourselves nonetheless. i love the sound of trains going by. we then rushed to studio to see garden state, which i had already seen, but brandon hadn't and he loved it. i was really glad. plus it was sort of a perfect goodbye movie. at home we listened to julie ruin and cat power before going to bed way too late. we woke up at 7:30 and layed around for a while in my tent. we went to breakfast at IHOP and pretended to be a pair of happy collegiate artists taking joy in life's simple pleasures-- coffee and cigarettes. it takes me forever to eat so we were there for an hour or so? i apologize to everyone who has ever had to take a meal with me. back at home we had a second anti-climactic ending to our surreal little venture. we sat around for a while burning cds. i mean come on. but seriously, folks, it was a good time. brandon left at about 1pm, rolling away towards union inside a round, green little car. he didn't look back, and i couldn't look on. i went with the family to see sky capitan of the world tomorrow which was a very silly, but very beautiful movie that took my mind off things until i got brandon's home-safe call. new orleans is still above water. it didn't even rain.

listening to: godspeed you black emperor! - sleep

or...

change that 3am to 12?

news

today at 5pm louisiana state university closed classes for the week. today at 6:20 brandon ledet called to tell me he was on the interstate heading for a city called memphis. today at approximately 3am, a tremor of happiness will shudder through your dreams.

winkin, blinkin, and nod

these friends did not visit me last night. i haven't slept in what feels like six years. i'm about to go take a nap though. brett and i stayed up all night talking about who knows what, and now we're going to become chimney sweeps. it's fucking brilliant. brandon and i are expectantly awaiting hurricane ivan. i can't think straight enough to write this post right now. gwahabaha.

it ain't no fair to be this worn out

you said it, ben.
i just decided i want to drink like 6 dr. peppers today. it's going to be great. i have lots of work to do that i can't bring myself to do. i want to die. thus, caffeinated assistance.

listening to: lucero - in lonesome times

update

auditions are at 4:30 today. at theatreworks. be there.

in the springtime of his voodoo

we REALLY need to discuss plans for the upcoming voodoo music fest before it's too damn late to buy tickets and shit! i want to get this together so that we can do things like convince people's parents to let them go and get a place to stay in new orleans and all those kinds of things.
1. who wants to go? we need a head count to know how many people we have to accomdate for.
2. who will drive? my dad has volunteered, and although i'd rather go without him, it will probably help the case of many of you kids whose parents wouldn't be too happy about us going unchaperoned. brandon and LA also volunteered on separate occassions to drive... are you still willing? could you make it happen? this is imperative.
3. how many days do you want to go? one day is $40. i'm sorry this is so expensive, but think about all the great bands you'll be seeing. most of them are on saturday, this is true. if you only want to go on saturday (or if, like alice and katherine, you only have time for that) we will have to make different arrangements for that.
4. i think my mom wants me to use one of my school excused college-visiting days and college-visit, either in new orleans or on the way there. whoever i'm riding with might want to also put that on their agenda for the trip. and also it will make your parents happy.
5. START SAVING YOUR PENNIES. WE ARE HEADED ON A WILD JOURNEY DOWN THE MISSISSIPPI INTO THE DEEP DEEP SOUTH. PREPARE YOURSELF.

listening to: joanna newsom - peach, plum, pear

make the diamonds come in your hands

i'm no longer grounded, if anyone wants to hang out today.

listening to: tracy + the plastics - bury the hair

what should i not kiss?

as always, i must inform you all about the upcoming events of the our own voice theatre troupe, although i don't think i've ever encouraged someone to actually do that shit because of these little posts. oh well. to be honest, i only know that it's even happening because of my dad. i can't find any online confirmation that the auditions are even happening, but since my dad is a board member of the group, i trust him. SO without further ado:
The Passion of Joni Dark
Theatreworks, 2085 Monroe on Overton Square
Saturday and Sunday afternoon (times unknown as of right now. call me and i'll let you know.)
the play requires LOTS OF KIDDIES since it's the story of joan of arc set in a modern teenage psych ward. i promised i would bring friends. these plays are really fun! you will meet new people! you can goof around! stage fright isn't even an issue since the theatre is so teeny tiny. an our own voice show don't require a lot of time commitment, and the director will be REALLY understanding if you have to miss rehearsals. you'll only have a couple practices a week up until production week. it's great. pleeeeeeeeeeeease try to come. auditions are really fun, even if you decide not to do the play. the entire idea of an oov audition is for the actors to see if the show is something they actually want to do. and you will have fun. please come.
sorry for the desperation.

listening to: belly - red

food for thought

Lordpook1 (10:57:40 PM): cuz shes 14 has no freedom yet and i am a wild 16 year old with a needle full of turpentine stuck up my dick and a mouth foaming with semen and crack cocaine

listening to: vic chesnutt - in my way, yes

sore throat again!

i want to die. i have lots of homework. i shouldn't be online. i'm leaving now. hope everybody had a great day.

tired eyes

last night i fell asleep doing physics. dad came in and woke me up, i pushed my homework off the futon, and went to sleep. today i missed two tests, but i don't care. i feel a lot better, although my eyes are all dilated from going to the eye doctor again. i did get my new glasses and i can see a good deal better, but everything's still weird from the dilation.

glasses
Originally uploaded by elevatorlady.

they look completely back, but the frame is actually tortoise-shell patterned brown. there's green on the inside, and purple on the edges. they're very odd, and i'm still getting used to them. these are the biggest glasses i've ever had. they're only my third pair, but still.

sweet jesus

i just got back from a fucking 2-hour trip to the optometrist. hopefully i'll have my new glasses tomorrow, but they also found cornea damage and there's confusion with my stigmatism. it was all very horrible, and i also now need reading glasses. apparently VISION is the reason for my constant post-school headaches and why i can't focus on tests and why reading makes me tired. god damn it. i hate life.

listening to: björk - triumph of a heart

brock's birthday mix

it's been damn long enough! (changes might be made.)

01) the faint - take me to the hospital
02) the mae shi - vampire beats
03) miss kittin - meet sue be she
04) sarge - a torch
05) the dishes - french kissing
06) the butchies - trouble
07) the cure - why can't i be you?
08) tilly and the wall - reckless
09) the reindeer section - tout le monde
10) the microphones - oh anna
11) kimya dawson - the beer (live)
12) lucero - no roses no more
13) david bowie - five years
14) why? - darla
15) sufjan stevens - he woke me up again
16) sarah harmer - uniform grey
17) the mountain goats - cubs in five
18) a tribe called quest - buggin' out
19) tracy + the plastics - henrietta
20) modest mouse - i came as a rat (long walk off a short dock)
21) the dismemberment plan - the ice of boston
22) devo - beautiful world

so i'm grounded

my parents just found out that i left our family video camera in brittany's car over a month ago, and it's still at her house in mississippi. i should've told them immediately when it happened, but i thought i was going to get it back when the next time i saw her. that didn't happen and i haven't been down in mississippi to pick it up, nor have they mailed it back. so now i can't do anything ever again until the camera is back in my hands. i am not happy.

listening to: danny barker - st. james infirmary

bad ear

i'm so fucking sentimental and far too easily influenced by music. it should not be allowed to have such an effect over me. these things should not make me cry.

we can dance and dance

so i found out that my reasons for being angry/sad about girls' night being cancelled were the wrong reasons. it turned out for the better since laylee was feeling sick last night. yesterday sallis came and picked me up in the early afternoon. we got milkshakes at java cabana, he bought the new bjork album, and he got to meet the poor nameless puppy. alice and katherine met us at sonic and we headed downtown to the memphis music and heritage festival. we only knew where one of the stages was, and it was a little late for shopping around. we watched this goofy guy play the piano, ran around peabody place, and went back to the stage where a really hysterical rap group was performing. some guys filmed us for their public access show. as we were leaving, we passed the place where becca and laylee were volunteering. we heard a REALLY great band that sounded something like andrew bird's bowl of fire. the crazy thing is that we came in during the middle of them playing "st. james infirmary." it was weird that i recognized it, being so familiar with danny barker's version, in which he adds a bunch of awesome lines and side notes. actually everyone should hear that version because it's the ultimate. it was really great, and i hated having to leave. sallis took us home, where katherine, alice, and i had a totally awesome girly night as a trio. we stuffed ourselves with cinnamon tea, popcorn, and java chip ice cream. we talked about boyzzz and morocco and great shit. we listened to lots of music and watched some music videos and rolled around on the futon. it was great. i missed seeing LA and laylee though. we stayed up till after 5am, which was a bad idea. ah well. katherine woke up at 9:30 for church. when she came home, alice and i eventually dragged ourselves out of bed and went to breakfast at ck's. i drank too many cups of coffee with sweet-n-low. something inspired me to order the paul bunyan breakfast. do not ask me why. i stuffed myself absolutely full. after a long meal, katherine took me back home. dad immediately took me to lauren's house so that we could work on our math project-- it's a powerpoint presentation for pre-calculs about fucking PEEPS. i took a nap in lauren's super-comfy bed before katherine, alice, and brett picked us up around 7 to head down to south memphis. there's really no words to describe things that i would like to say, but there's at least this: we listened to elephunk (my new favorite album) about 5 times, ate a second breakfast at ihop, found a little piece of the apocalypse, inhaled a cornucopia of chemicals, observed the loading of a barge, befriended men of the mississippi, used a crane as a jungle gym, got covered in oil and sugar, explored a man named harley's boathouse and got sexually harassed by his creepy red neck brother. president's island is my new favorite place. i love the mississippi. i love my city.

listening to: the black eyed peas - the boogie that be

faithless, grungy, pathetic, wretched

last night all plans were somehow abandoned and alice and ended up at home alone all night. it was really great because we had time to hang out and talk and be wonderful. i absolutely LOVE that girl!!!! it was also funny because she and i were hanging out while laylee and LA were hanging out. our group of Girls was separated into the "Al" and the "La" couples. ho ho ho. i love that kind of thing. the kind of thing i do NOT love is that our girls night for this evening is cancelled. it makes me angry and sad. hopefully i'll make up for it by hanging out with sallis and katherine and alice today. hooray!

listening to: juliana hatfield - what a life

Teenage Mythology: Daphne and Apollo Revisited

This boy came quietly out of the wood work, and I was caught off guard. No one before him ever really saw me, with my unruly hair, rumpled skirt, and no trace of self-confidence. That was the life I had learned.

He stole what he could –– the minutes off my cell phone, all my days of summer, midnight in my grandma's kitchen, one desperate hug. Of course I ran. The only thing I knew to do was run. No one taught me how to be pretty, how to be loved. I became afraid to learn. Just told myself to keep my muscles pumping to keep me out of reach.

Well. I may have overdone it. I pulled back 400 miles, building the best defense: a separation of two entire states (measured by 7,877,696 people), the length of a muddy river (equaling eternity). A girl needs her space.

But he couldn't drop it. I couldn't understand why he kept pushing against my limitations, what drove him to stand as watchman of my night and day. Turns out, it was only that he knew me. He knew my legs were not long or strong enough to keep me running forever. How could I have known that he would whittle my wooden heart, gently carve away the rough places in me?

By November he was biting at my heels like an obsessive French dog, hanging on the curtain of my voice, and imagining the curl of my hip. Without my permission. I never wanted to be marked, claimed, owned. But now I look at myself, firmly planted in my sneakers and undeniably connected to some puppy of a boy. He lead me out of my darkness and pulled me into his wood. Some very needy roots sprouted out of me and met up with his –– connecting and intertwining finally at the halfway point on the brown bank of the Mississippi. My limbs fork out like awkward branches, pocked and uneven bark covering completely my milk pale skin. He places his hand on my chest to admire his craftsmanship: heart beating full and sticky with some sound resembling love.

oh please

somebody needs to come hang out with me and alice! aogpwihpghoiwe

things

1. new puppy is ADORABLE. she has no name yet, but we're working on it.
2. home at the end of the world is a ridiculously bad film.
3. "five years" by david bowie is the song of the week, and may very well be the best song of all time.
4. i love my sister and her friends.
5. it really sucks that today is amelia's last in memphis.

rejoice

morgan and mom are on their way to pick up our new cairn terrier puppy. hooray!

no central destination

today at school i actually had energy and a not-so-bad day. it was nice. some kid stuck me with a big piece of clear tape that read "speaks in bad poetry" which is probably not a false accusation. am i right? elizabeth, surprisingly, drove me home, and we stopped on the way for some disgusting, delicious KFC. now LA is over to do hang out and do homework because neither of us can concentrate on homework alone. this makes me happy. i want to start having homework parties all the time. nobody's ever wanted to before! i am very excited. wish us luck.

listening to: cake - long line of cars

it's too much to take

this morning we were waiting to turn left onto perkins (where school is) and we saw this really scary wreck. this guy tried to turn left when there was no way he was going to make it, so he got hit and there was lots of noise and glass and we had to get out of the car and walk through all of it to get to school through the stalled traffic. the scary thing is how easily that could happen to any impatient person at that light-- it's really ridiculous how long you have to wait there every day. it shook me up quite a bit.
the rest of the day was okay for a motherfucking monday. post-school activity was pretty nice too. christ, i refuse to believe it's really monday. i still have some homework that i should be tending to... lates.

yayyy?!!!!

server is back!!!
i am a happy woman.

before noon

yesterday brock came over so that we could go see home at the end of the world at studio, but he was a little late and i realized i didn't have the money for a movie anyway. so we watched before sunrise on my tiny, awful tv. in the middle we started talking and morgan came in for a long time, so we finished the movie about an hour later than we expected to, at 3:30. i felt really bad because we missed janelle's street theatre thing at 2:30. i miss her a lot. but brock and i loved the movie so it was sort of worth it. we talked to my mom a little bit about it, and then headed out to ridgeway 4 armed with university to go see before sunset. at first it felt much more movie, much more planned out, than the first film, but it eventually slipped into that same ease of before sunrise. both films are great and i recommend that everyone see them. but i may have loved them even more because they (especially the first one) felt really relevant right now. but anyway. brock and i came back home to eat something. we talked about renting another movie, but that seemed a little much. so we sprawled around on the futon and made rice krispie treats. morgan and brock started talking degrassi, so i escaped into the den and watched a little pulp fiction with the folks. unfortunately, they were showing it on encore, with all the profanity dubbed over, in full-screen, with commercials and little ads popping up at the bottom of the screen. i really, really, really hate tv. morgan and brock came in and turned on damn noggin. i admit that i left the room on purpose, took on my goddamn contacts, and fell asleep in my tent with the light on. it was barely 10:30. i'm a wimp. brock left me a nice note on my blinds, though. at 12:30, brandon called and woke me up. we only got to talk for 20 minutes but it was still nice. afterwards, i called william with my free long-distance on weekend nights. i've been wanting to talk to him for a long time, but after i got that massive phone bill, i was nervous to use lots of moneys. but i got to talk to him for a solid 45 minutes and it was really nice. he's been so busy, doing lots of things. he dispelled the rumor about him and cherie getting married to buy a house... they'd made a joke in frustration about money for college, saying that if they got married, college would cost less. i hate not hearing things directly from people because of all this fucking twisting around that things go through. at any rate. i woke up far too early -- before anyone else in the family. serves me right for going to bed so damn early. i wash sorting laundry and i found brandon's hulk bandana. it's weird how it's taking me so long to find all the things he left. thank god i'm never giving them back.

just a thought

i might delete my comments again because they're slipping into unuse. any protestors?

god damn internet

today wasn't too bad at school. laylee gave me her turkey sandwich at lunch. and although i got back two horrible test grades, i managed to stay in a pretty good mood. life is good because:
1) kraftwerk in german class
2) meg and i planned a wes anderson party
3) voodoo music fest
after school, brock played chauffer by taking kathryn home and dropping morgan off at eileen's house. he, laylee, and i searched for food in east memphis. laylee and i ended up with glorious chick-fil-a sandwiches and sweet sweet distillers in the car. is it said that brody dalle gives me chills? i think not. we came home and cuddled (and a little more) before laylee got picked up to go to gone with the wind at the orpheum with kevin. brock and i headed over to java cabana to meet up with heather (who is adorable!). aside from soothing my wicked craving for a cinnamon milkshake, i had an awesome time hanging out with her and swinging at peabody like always. she is a very cool girl who i hope to see more of. now i have settled down for a long winter's nap with a vanilla coke to my left and a stack of my father's compilation CDs to my right. i've got to enter them into a database i'm making for him as payment for an outrageous cell phone bill. i could really go for a milkshake and a black and mild, but it'll have to wait.

listening to: empress - a very small step

SWEET LORD

so who's up for this shit? ideally, we could all drive down to new orleans for a weekend, but if parents aren't up for it, my dad has volunteered oh-so-selflessly haha to go. i think i'd just about die if we could make this work.... pleeeeeease can we try? oh my. please tell me you guys will ask your units about this. i need something to live for.

listening to: nancy sinatra - bang bang

i'll start as his knees and i'll end in his dreams

today was pretty shitty. right now i'm in a good mood for some inexplicable reason... most likely because of the nice group chat we had after school by my locker. we should do that every day because it was very nice. lunch was pretty good, also. other than that, my day was absolutely horrible. i had 3 tests in a row, all of which i failed. no joke. i felt really stupid and then i had to go to government and get even more depressed. well at least tomorrow's friday, and we're hopefully having a party at meg's house on saturday. as long as i can look forward to these things, i'll make it through today. hope everyone else is doing well.

cause for excitement

or... a reason to live? whatever you call it, laylee and LA are on their way to pick me up, and i am very excited. i don't know what we're doing, but i don't give a shit because i LOVE THOSE GIRLS! honestly i don't get to see them enough, and i'm in the perfect mood to do something lovely and just talk and be good. or bad... i really don't care either way, as long as i'm with those fine ladies! also i really crave a piece of pizza. and this food thing? yeah, it's getting really bad. i've got to stop eating so much. anyone care to help with my starvation? ho ho ho i'm only half kidding.

listening to: tullycraft - sent to the moon

everybody's parents are crazy

except mine. if anybody needs to spend some time away from home, i invite you here. i'm sure my units could handle it. in other news, i love chex mix. i've been eating entirely too much lately. also i hate riding the bus home. mostly i hate the waiting around part that we do before we even think about walking to the bus stop. if we could hang around, and then instantaneously arrive at home, i would be much happier. brett and sallis, i assign you the job of building me a portal. hop to it, lads! this week is incredibly long. i want to die. i'm watching movie trailers because the alternative is sleeping. of course, the only time i want to sleep is when i have piles of homework left. i'm done for the night, and what can i say? i require no pillow.

laugh it up

i love lemon poppyseed bread from la baguette. and polaroids. and a boy. and vanilla coke. mmmmm.
i am obviously in a better mood than earlier. i really want to leave the house, but i cannot. yesterday i saw garden state and it was fucking amazing. everyone really needs to see that movie. it's really beautiful, and parts of it said things i needed to hear right now. so. yes. also last night i got to hang out with katherine for the first time since fucking casey jones. that is REALLY weird to realize, but it's true. and then of course i left my cell phone and purse in her car somehow. it's very weird because we got into the car and as we were pulling out of the driveway, i said "oh no i left my purse inside!" so katherine had to pay for my subway sandwich and then when we got back home, i couldn't find my purse to pay her back. it was nuts. oh well. also mouse's mom got mad at him for trying to stay out later and he's in trouble with her and i feel awful.
i have to pee. i miss everyone.

my purse has been found, thanks for your concern. today is drab and dreary. i'm in a horrible mood. happy birthday to brock, in any case.

has anyone seen my damn purse?!

deadly food stuffs

i'm eating an egg scrambles and i think it's going to kill me. it's something i found in my freezer that's possibly a year old and dead to all the world. ah well. i need energy. all i've had today is a bunch of chips with cheese sauce at el mezcal, some crackers at lunch, and a couple spoonfuls of cool whip. mmmmmm. diet, how i love thee.

it always feels like you're leaving

love mix deux made for me by brandon. i got it in the mail yesterday, and it's quite nice. i'm posting the track list here since he didn't write it down. you don't have to pay attention.

01) phoebe carrai - bach's cello suite no. 1 (prelude)
02) throwing muses - mr. bones
03) the stooges - i wanna be your dog
04) yeah yeah yeahs - no no no
05) björk - cocoon
06) pj harvey - electric light
07) a tribe called quest - 8 million stories
08) iggy pop - tiny girls
09) violent femmes - good feeling
10) godspeed you! black emperor - sleep
11) bright eyes - pull my hair
12) throwing muses - serene

i carry you around

today a million people moved to our lunch. it's nice, but chaotic. mr. isom has been absent for two days, and i've gotten lots of time to talk to laylee, LA, and brock in psychology. i took my "waiting for godot" make up essay test today, and i did horribly. i realized halfway through that i'd set it up wrong, but... oh well. i didn't even bother trying to fix it, and just ploughed onward. maybe she will commend me for being different HAHAHAH. morgan and i rode the bus home for the first time today. it's nice being able to control what time you go home. in all, today was much better than yesterday, when i had a horrible pain in my stomach area all day. and better than tuesday, because tuesday is the worst day of the week. although yesterday i did get my package from brandon, which always makes me really happy. he sent me back my cell phone, so if you've been trying to call me for a week and a half and getting no alanna, that is why. feel free to call away now. he also sent me a really great mix. i can post the track list if anyone cares to know what's on it. anyway. everybody have an awesome friday tomorrow. oh, and on saturday, everyone must come to my house. no questions. be here.

listening to: the olympics commentators

SO TIRED. I WANT TO DIE.

listening to: the mountain goats - grendel's mother

what!

i can't believe how late it is, how little i've done, and how tired i am. this is just ridiculous. i hate school. and i was supposed to enjoy this year, too. who the fuck fixed up my grand plan? i need redecorating.

a girl has got to hide away

today i stayed home from school to get over that damn fever. i was actually really annoyed to miss the first full monday of the school year, especially since i had two tests. but whatever, i would rather not infect anyone else. so anyway. i have to go "study" for my passage to india/july's people test, and debate whether or not to do friday's pre-calculs homework. (our text book's spine is actually mispelled. isn't that terrifying?)
i am eating godiva ice cream -- creamy vanilla with chocolate covered cookies and godvia chocolate chunks. mmmmmm sweet lord.

listening to: bangs - call + response

one of my biggest pet peeves

when i'm genuinely irritated with someone, i make a sort of snippy comment, and they think i'm kidding. laughter does not make a good apology. it's a slap in the face. it only says to me that people i am close to can't tell the difference between when i'm angry and when i'm happy, and that makes me very sad.

listening to: the microphones - i love you so much!

sick day

i went to bed late last night absolutely freezing cold. i was shaking and my teeth were chattering. i sealed myself within two huge blankets but i still couldn't stop shivering. this morning i woke up absolutely burning up, even though i'd kicked off some of the covers. i have a fever and a headache, and i'm blessed with dizziness every time i try to move. i blame brock for this sickness. he complained all weekend that he wasn't feeling well, and yet he still cuddled with everybody. if you are contagious, this is a bad idea. i hope that he didn't infect anybody else, although i think i've already gotten my mother sick too. i am in a bad mood, and i've been listening to the microphones all day. i don't feel well enough to go, but everyone else should attend the our own voice workshop for the upcoming play, the story of joan of arc set in a modern teenage psych ward. theatreworks 3pm. hop to it.

my dog will always come through

mom and dad just came home from the vet. i haven't really been blogging a lot so i don't know if i mentioned it, but our dog bonnie has been really sick for a good hunk of the summer. she got sick in georgia, while we were in orlando, and got steadily worse ever since. they finally put her to sleep tonight, because she was suffering so much and there were so many things wrong with her. she was such a sweet, noble, beautiful dog, and all will miss her.

listening to: cat stevens - i love my dog

god damn

today did not turn out as i planned. queer as folk party was okay. the best part was getting to hang out with my loves, but the show itself is pretty awful. it was sort of fun to watch, but i wasn't that entertained. the bad acting was just too distracting. at any rate, dad picked me up at 2:45 from LA's to go to brittany's. we got lost for over 2 hours. it was hell. i mapquest gave us these absolutely HORRIBLE directions, and i wanted to die. it didn't help that i had forgotten that brittany had a new address since last year's birthday party. plus i hadn't remembered to bring my cell phone or the invitation, so when i realized i didn't remember brittany's apartment number, i couldn't call home and ask mom what it said on the invitation. we drove around until we found a working payphone, but our house line was, of course, busy. for about 2 million years. we ended up going out to the east shelby county library and using their phone book and computer resources, but nothing helped. we wandered around the apartment complex for far too long. went back to circle k for their pay phone. finally got in touch with mom. she said that brittany's apartment number was 38U, but that didn't exist. she couldn't read brittany's handwriting, apparently, and told me it was apartment A. it was two hours after the designated party arrival time, and nobody was answering the door of apartment 38A. so i left a note and we hightailed it outta there. i came home and looked at the invitation, and lo and behold! there is no way in hell or on god's green earth that the real apartment number is 38A. i am very irritated because i don't have brittany's most recent phone number and she currently has no idea why i stood her up for her 18th birthday party. it's kind of funny how much this imitates the situation at her 13th birthday, or even her 10th. it's just ridiculous how all those good dates are fucked. ANYWAY i'm really irritated. sorry.

why can't i sleep in here?

yesterday marked the beginning of the first weekend of the school year. we had a cuddling party, a journey to subway, and went to see MUTZ at the caravan. the band was as great as ever, but the crowd was smaller and less rowdy than at the last show. which is really too bad. i had a good time, and i also saw dead city for the first time. i liked them in terms of performance, but i don't think i could listen to hardcore in my spare time. so sue me. i got to talk to brandon a little bit last night, which is always very good. today, brock and laylee are on their way to pick me up and watch queer as folk at LA's house. after that i am going to brittany's birthday party. hooray!

i love hell

The Dante's Inferno Test has banished you to the Seventh Level of Hell!
Here is how you matched up against all the levels:

Level	Score
Purgatory (Repenting Believers)	Very Low
Level 1 - Limbo (Virtuous Non-Believers)	Low
Level 2 (Lustful)	High
Level 3 (Gluttonous)	Moderate
Level 4 (Prodigal and Avaricious)	Low
Level 5 (Wrathful and Gloomy)	High
Level 6 - The City of Dis (Heretics)	High
Level 7 (Violent)	Very High
Level 8- the Malebolge (Fraudulent, Malicious, Panderers)	Very High
Level 9 - Cocytus (Treacherous)	Low

Take the Dante's Inferno Test

So many days, so little time?

Lordpook1: we needs to have some more days
Sheisrealokay: waht are you talking about
Lordpook1: well see i was thinkin...
Sheisrealokay: oh ye?
Lordpook1: ye
Sheisrealokay: go on
Lordpook1: as i was saying...
Lordpook1: i was thinking. why haven't we had airport day? or blog life reenactment day?
Sheisrealokay: because you never said anything stupid
Lordpook1: or fountain day or sitcom day or a day where we all switch personalities
Sheisrealokay: aweopigha we already had fountain day
Lordpook1: i mean fountain day 2. you know, all the wetness of fountain day 1, but with the boredom of exhausting a theme
Sheisrealokay: why should we do that, other than the wet of course
Lordpook1: because i would be there? (is that the right answer?)
Sheisrealokay: no
Lordpook1: well what about transgender day? that seems right up our collective alley
Sheisrealokay: aweiogweopieh YES
Lordpook1: ok. i'll dress as mowgli. or babar.
Sheisrealokay: that was disney day ass
Sheisrealokay: and babar isn't even disneny weheo[weigga
Lordpook1: that's right, he's an elephant
Lordpook1: g2g
Sheisrealokay: aaa bye

ah, yes

enter post-school day headache. i remember these.... i'm also having blog deja vu right now. can anybody say "repeat?"
in any case, today was boring as all get out. i learned nothing, did nothing, and barely even got homework. i discovered how doubly crazy my teachers are and i'm liking some of them less now. i hope i don't go crazy. awopihgwhei. at least lunch is nice. my schedule:

homeroom - boyd (yet another year alone in the ole homeroom. but becca and laylee are down the hall.)
2nd - german 1 - herrmann (with brock, eileen, meg, christie)
3rd - physics - mccrory (i haven't talked to anyone in this class yet)
4th - AP english literature - wyatt (brock, laylee, allison. combined we overtake the awkwardness of elise being there too)
5th - AP psychology - isom (brock, laylee, LA. and lauren might TA)
c lunch with morgan, katherine, brock, laylee, LA, becca, brett, eileen, mouse
6th - pre-calculus - wall (brock, lauren, allison)
7th - u.s. government - bafford (brock, margaret)

for the most part it's pretty nice. yes, brock is in all my classes except one. i really hope we don't have a fight this year hyuk hyuk hyuk. it really sucks that i only see sallis and alice briefly before fifth period. i'm gonna have to work out my walking patterns so that i run into as many people as possible, once things settle down. i hope they don't change my schedule like last year gpowaihpwohgi. i like it how it is. anyway, i'm going to go do my amazingly tiny amount of homework. thank god for no textbooks.

the end

summer is officially over, and i have entirely lost the ability to put words together to form sentences. in short-- i had an interesting summer, sometimes very busy and beautiful and sometimes very laidback and lazy. i have yet to finish my summer reading, but the first day of school was really not so bad. i'm kind of excited about the year, actually. most importantly, my visit from brandon was a 10-day bliss. he left five hours ago, and i already miss him like crazy. i have lots more to say, but i've forgotten how to say it since i haven't used the computer since he came. hopefully i'll have some pictures to post soon and lots of things to say. goodbye, all.

why am i so nervous?!

i think i'm going crazy.

at least i have root beer to help me along. last night i started july's people which i didn't like at first and then got into further in... maybe that's just because it was 4am? who can tell these days?
today i'm cleaning my room and ACTUALLY MAKING PROGRESS. unfortunately there is nowhere to put anything and i have no clue what to do with all the shit on the floor. oh well. at least it looks a little bit better. anyone up for coming to help me? that's a joke since like three people read this shit and they're all out of town or dead. except for morgan, who is too busy cleaning her own room. le sigh. what's a girl like me to do with a full trash bag and no more shelf space?

gahh

so i finally finished that damned book (oh god i'm so punny.) i want to make a big long post about this week, but i have to clean and read and get ready for brandon to come. so i don't know how much i'll get to blog in the coming days.... we'll see. i'll try to keep you guys (haha) up to date.

listening to: rasputina - nov. 17dee (extended version)

taking a break from dante's infernal. about to go crazy. gahoewiahohewa.

idiot nightmare

tonight MÜTZ is playing at the caravan at 8. it's $5 and i hear you're supposed to dress silly. i don't know what my costume will be, but i encourage everybody to go. a lot of people are out of town or not speaking to me, so i probably won't really have anyone to hang out with. at any rate, please come. call me. i think i'm going to be a hermit this week, what with everything that's not going on. i did get a love letter from the amazing plaid today, though. that makes me very happy. anyway, i'm going to go read some of that infernal inferno and try to bribe morgan into making a costume for me. that's a joke in that if she agreed to do it, i wouldn't put up a fight. have a day, fishes.

aaaaaaaand we're back!

the trip was the same trip we always have. i enjoyed myself to the best of my ability, spent time with the grandparents, and got horrible trapped in dante's inferno. which i hate. *shudder*
i'm supposed to be rendezvousing with brandon right now, but i don't think he's gonna show up. oh well.
instead, i am messing with the scandaliz vandalistz myspace profile, which you should all visit and add to your friends list. also i'm messing with this flickr thing, as you can tell by the picture to your right. become a member to see my friends only photos mwahhahaaa.
i feel like such a geek. oh well.

aaaaaaaand we're off!

saved!

my father is a good man.
i just took some things out to the trash can and found already inside a pillow covered in roly polies. i came in and told dad that they were there. he said, "is THAT what they were? i just picked that pillow off the ground without looking." he then went back outside and saved the roly polies.
life is good.

should've gone to bed an hour ago

so that i didn't have to find this horrible site and countless others...

find a love that's true

today was taking a turn for the worst until i had two bowls of spaghetti with clams for dinner, and then had a lovely evening with sallis, brock, morgan, margaret, and lauren. we went to starbucks and tcby for treats and somehow ended up on the top of the dryve (tittie!) cleaners. (if you don't know the tittie cleaners, you can see it in the back right of this picture. it's the ugliest fucking building in the world.) that was awesome, and i had a great time. then we went back to sallis's to explore his room and his old yearbooks. i finally finished a damn passage to india. it was okay. unfortunately, i've heard more positive things about that one than any of the other required reading.... fucking great. i think tomorrow me, sallis, morgan, and whoever else are going to try to read aloud at least some of "waiting for godot" since it's a play, and i can't STAND just reading plays. i'm way too audio. please call me if you think that could help you in any way... we need at least one more person. my mouth tastes like canadian cigar. mmmm.
this list makes me really happy.

listening to: sleater-kinney - hot rock

FLEA! FLEE!

mom woke me up by screaming "WE HAVE TO FLEA THE HOUSE!" of course, being my mother, she immediately left and sat down to watch an old movie. over an hour later, she decided it was time to begin. with a sense of urgency, she threw a shower curtain over the computer where i'd continued to talk to brandon on his lunch break. we'd been doing nothing all morning, so we had to finish absolutely everything in 5 minutes. blankets over the tv, air conditioning turned off, refridgerator unplugged. we barely had time to grab the necessities and the animals, everything streaming along in the steam left over from mom's rushing. we set off 5 flea bombs. god they stink. my cat ran back into the house as we were trying to close the door, of course, and mom and i had to chase her around. i think i got some flea shit in my eyes. oh well. everybody settled down on a blanket outside. i should've done more summer reading, but somehow nothing was accomplished. we took a lunch break at pie in the sky. we ordered all 3 different kind of milkshakes. i had vanilla. mmmmm sweet jesus. i was nervous about my cat all afternoon -- that's the longest she's been outside in her whole life. but all turned out well, i think. we slathered ourselves in burt's bees insect repellent, even though i never get bitten. morgan still got eaten up. poor love. at any rate, the mail came and i recieved a magazine called Tape Op about recording music. it's something i've been saying i might look into as a future career, and i found it really ironic that it showed up at my house... mom said i might've gotten on some kind of mailing list, but i didn't sign up for this. is it a nice gift? if so, thank you to whoever paid $3.95 to send me this. i really do think i would enjoy that job. anyway, i'm supposed to go out soon with (hopefully) sallis, brock, and lauren. hooray!

listening to: morgan's watching flashdance and talking on the phone

dreams

i've got some pictures up on a photobucket account while kevin's server remains down in the dirt... you can check that out right here. i'm dead tired.
brock and alice came over. we played in my tent. yes, it's still up. what a baby i am! we went to sonic for the first time in a damn month. hunter came over and we watched the dreamers. alice had supposedly rated the R version, but we didn't notice any changes from the NC-17 version that we saw in theatres. i'm going to have to look that up when i'm less tired. it's still a damn great movie. OH MY GOD IT'S 3? WHO DID THIS TO ME? oWIEHOPAHIWGEdlske.

listening to: fiery furnaces - don't dance her down

ahem

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, BRANDON!
you are 18. think of all the things you can do and all the people you can't. i seethe with envy. cluck cluck.

listening to: merril bainbridge - mouth

what's summer?

another day of next-to-nothingness. watched donnie darko with the parentals. read some passage to india. took a nap. bleghhh. my hair's a mess. i need a shower. i want a cigar. mom's been so worked up about cleaning this summer. she must do this every time, but i can't remember her ever being this adamant about it before. i'm supposed to do regular cleaning plus organize the new books, photographs, home movies, and records. it's enough to drive a person MAD. so i should go to bed, but i have 50 more pages until i reach today's goal for summer reading. so i guess i'm off.

food for thought

yissah!
have a great day, everyone.

our mom our mom

well it's been an interesting weekend. tiki party was really fun, and tonight i had cheesecake with alice and sallis. now i'm kind of tired but i need to go read passage to india. i need to finish that book like, last week. i feel like a puppy. you know, i don't think i've stayed up all night this whole summer. that feels sort of wrong. i know it's coming, i can feel it. so good night-- or is it?

listening to: tracy + the plastics - dog

nematode's happy flight

i saw napoleon dynamite this afternoon with morgan, alice, and brett. we ran into elizabeth, jenny, and her brother, but somehow got separated and didn't sit with them. the movie was really funny, and although parts were slow, i still recommend it. it's a hell of a lot better than most of the movies that are out right now, at any rate. i like how it was rated PG. afterwards, we all talked in the lobby for about half an hour which was nice. i sort of tried to ask jenny and elizabeth if they wanted to hang out with us, but somehow plans never got made. it was really weird the way that got evaded constantly. so we just dropped morgan off at home (she was going over to a fez party at foot's house, and is still there) and spent an hour or so driving around looking for some trader vic's mai tai mix for the tiki party tomorrow night. we had no luck. we're going to have to settle for the off-brand kind at shnuck's. but what can you do? then we all went to alice's and ate fake meat. i've never had it before and i quite enjoyed myself. mmmmm hot non-dog with cheese. brock picked us all up around 9 and we took brett home since he didn't want to stay out late. we picked up my camera, bought some film and 2 cheap DVDs at walgreen's (dragnet and an abbot & costello feature) and made it to the full moon club in time to hear the prank that the mutant space bats were breaking up at that very moment and would not be playing that night. ha ha very funny. the show itself was really nice. they played a lot of their older songs, which were sort of sloppy but it was nice to hear them again. they even played the one with handclaps, and me, alice, and brock HANDCLAPPED IT UP. and bennett looked at us. thank god. he used to look over the audience's heads or play with his back facing us. he's still totally lou reed, but he at least notices that we are there now. at any rate, i love spacebats shows because i can DANCE like a loon. alice, brock, and i also did quiiiiite a bit of that. better than anyone else there. because, as usual, we were the only ones dancing. it's amazing how many hipsters you can dig up to come to a show like that. they just sit in their sits without moving and can barely find it within themselves to applaud. well fuck that. at least hunter always thanks us for being... whatever you would call spacebats groupies. what would that be? space skunks? sea horses? nematodes? at any rate, i filmed the show, although my camera was making a hell of a lot of noise, and i have no idea why. it only does it with certain tapes, and it's driving me insane. i left the camera on the table for most of the night, so i don't know if any visuals will come out, but i hope it sounds at least a little bit of okay. i do it for posterity! man oh man. i'm a conniving, archival pack rat. what. after the space bats played, this band whose name has already slipped my mind (it was like the 'insert Male Name here' Three or something) started their set. the most interesting part of the band--obviously--was the lady cellist, front and center. at first they played sort of jam band music and the cello was really just background. things started to get more interesting, and of course it was time to leave. although brock (me and becca's ride) had gotten his curfew extended to 12:30, since he is now living in cordova, we had to leave the club at damn 11:40. i came home, jabbered to the parentals, had a cigar, talked to brandon for about five seconds, and here i am. where's brett to make tiki plans? call me if you're interested in attending, by the by. i'm suddenly really really cold and shivering. this sucks.

abandonment

I AM PRESSING THE BUTTONS WMAHAHAAEIEIEO
today we are going to see napoleon dynamite at 4:40 at studio. everyone should show up. hooray! plus there's a mutant space bats of doom show tonight at the full moon club at 10pm. please be there.
brett doesn't like me anymore. he's only friends with morgan. i'm really heartbroken.

what means bastille day?

today was mom's birthday. it was pretty nice. we watched grosse point blank which i had surprisingly never seen before. john cusack is still my ultimate hero. men named "john" do unspeakable things to me. we mostly waded around all day not cleaning for once. we had tortillas for dinner and gave mom her presents (some DVDs and a birdhouse, since we're already overrun with books from ALA). morgan went to a meeting with crazy hutchison for the movie he's making. morgan got the part of "sister's friend" and i'm very proud. i tried to take a nap but had no success, so i made a bit of progress in both my summer reading and daydreaming. when morgan came home, we went out for dessert at this place in overton square that i've forgotten the name of. it's french, and we couldn't eat there because they were booked up since it's bastille day. this is pretty funny since i didn't know that was an actually celebrated holiday in america. what's more funny is that my mom's birthday is the french independce day, while my dad's is the american one. ho ho ho. so we hightailed it over to melange. the real restaurant was all reserved too so we sat in the little outer smoking/bar area. i had creme brulee and coffee, which was very nice. it was discovered yet again that i am a horrifyingly slow eater.
in other news, i got to talk to brandon on the phone twice today as well as online during his lunch break. the boy takes up too much of my time.
i need to go read some more from this a passage to india mess.

listening to: sarah harmer - go to sleep

bagel time!

i'm having a bagel and i'm very happy. that's really all i had to say.
AP scores are supposed to come this week, and believe it or not, i'm nervous about it. mostly because mom will kill me if i make less than 3's. but there's nothing i can do now, so oh well.
brandon, becca, and i are working together to get a minnie proctor show happening in new orleans. if it happens, we all have to drive down together and make a party!
i can't believe i've spent another day doing nothing productive. i better go soon.

listening to: the magnetic fields - 100,000 fireflies

more posts are on the way

i've decided to start blogging again, even when i'm not blogging. i'm sure i can figure that out. someday. the usual people came over for a spur of the moment i love the 90's party. it was fun, but the show wasn't quite as good as i expected. i keep thinking about how summer is almost up. only about 4 weeks i think. it's, a pity, especially since i had much higher hopes for this summer. it seems like whole weeks went by without me noticing them. but who knows, especially with a few great things planned this month, things could turn out nicely. so to my few friends who need it, some encouragement: i'm awake at 5am and have to get up early and clean. but that doesn't mean you get to sleep all day. get up and get going. you're running out of time. to my friends who don't need it, get your lazy self back under the covers. who am i to talk. i should get to sleep, but i'll probably have dreams about the terrible things brett sends me online. hum hum hum.

listening to: joanna newsom - sprout and the bean

well fuck

today was shitty. but i did finally make mp3s of the minnie proctor show at neil's. the quality is okay on the first couple songs and grows steadily worse as the camera moves farther back in the room and the people become louder.
i had an orange sherbert popsicle swirl thingie. and some organic apple jews.

listening to: minnie proctor - flickers
(i think i fucked up this file somehow. i am trying to figure out.)

sorry, readers

getting back into the swing of blogging has been harder than i expected, and i apologize. wednesday night we had dinner at spaghetti warehouse for alice's birthday, then went to the peabody for dessert. we explored a bit of the hotel and were immediately afterwards accosted by a nice bum. eileen and foot spent the night. they are beautiful gals. on thursday, mom, morgan, foot, brock, and i saw the saddest music in the world which was really beautiful and great. afterwards, brock and i observed an office party from the safety of his car, drove around listening to modest mouse, and swung on the swings at overton park. on friday nobody called. i watched more tv than necessary with morgan and foot -- cry-baby, the breakfast club, the new episode of degrassi. today margaret came over to hang out a little while, and brock, LA, and alice eventually trickled in. margaret left, and we went to dinner at sekisui. i had a lot of water, but no food. i refuse to eat at restaurants any longer. what a waste of money.
also, i've talked to william for the first time in a few weeks since we've both been out of town. i've talked to brett for long amounts of time too too late at night. i've been talking to brandon forever and can't wait until i see him on july 30. can we arrange a Poking Party? where people come over and poke at him? with blunt objects?

listening to: miss kittin - requiem for a hit

yawn.

i'm about to die of tired. very quickly i'll say that i had a really lazy, tired kind of day. brock came over in the early afternoon. we listened to music and danced around, and i used up all my energy. we rented "little otik" which was good and very very weird. i talked to brandon for the first time in a few days, and it was really nice. he was smiling like a nut. i have a headache.

AHHH MORGAN JUST SHOT ME FULL OF SILLY STRING

i woke up at damn 9:30 this morning somehow, even though i didn't get to sleep until around 4:30 in the morning. i dawdled around for a couple hours, then started trying to make plans with brett. we ended up just talking on the phone for an hour or so. then i talked to brock on the phone. went to therapy, which was okay. it was my last official appointment, but i'm supposed to call and come in when i need to. after that, i came home and spent forever again trying to make plans. i hate the kind of night where this happens. brock came over, and then alice and hunter arrived a little later. we went to pick up brett and stood around in the driveway forever and ever trying to decide where to go eat. i wasn't even hungry, but i was hyper. i hopped all over the place like a nut piece. we FINALLY decided on zinnie's east, where i had only some fries and a dr. pepper. sallis came to meet us, and that was great because i haven't hung out with him in forever. actually, it was great seeing everbody. i was in a pretty good movie and i missed all of you doves. then we spent forever in the zinnie's parking lot trying to decide what to do next. we just ended up going to peabody park, of course. brett and i ran up to look at the train and hang over the sidewalk. i love to swing on swings. man oh man.

listening to: rasputina - oh injury

well, i just reread my last post from before we left town and all i can say is that i'm a damn liar about that blogging promise! although i did write lots of journal entries which i'm beginning to type up. if you care about the little details of my vacation, you can read them here... in all, i had a pretty good time. orlando is a horrible place, but is bearable when you stuff it full of librarians. my grandparents and cousins are just the same as ever, and amazingly enough, i still find it within myself to love them. ho ho! (i've started saying 'ho ho' all the time and it's driving mother mad.)
i haven't called anyone yet even though we've been in town for a few hours just because i'm tired and i didn't feel up for dealing with the folkies tonight. but feel free to call me any time starting now. i can't wait to hear what everyone has been doing while i was away. i'm sure i missed lots of excitement! someone start telling me!

finally bought some new goddamn bras at victoria's secret, and i actually like them. i went with laylee and alice and it was surprisingly unpainful. i also got some thigh high stockings, which i wore with laylee's little black skirt, my doctor who shirt, and the magnificent foot's top hat. we went to whitney camp's house for another pono party, and it was really weird. we were expecting them to either make jokes about our outfits or be really awkward about them, but they didn't really do anything. they were actually really involved in watching the porn, and it wasn't even good. go figure. the rest of us tried to make the best of it by dancing around to avenue d and the pixies, but it didn't really work. oh well. the best part of the night was cuddling with brock and alice on whitney's bed and unbuttoning his vest with our teeth. le sigh. how high school can you get?
we went to sonic for a few minutes before we came home. alice and hunter hung out for a little while, and we listened to some music. i talked to brandon on the phone. i'm going to miss all of you kids when we leave town tomorrow... we come back july 4, but i hope to blog a bit while we're there to keep you posted maybe. stay hott, my loves.

patti smith was fucking amazing!!

if you come see me before i leave town again, i'll tell you about it. mwahahaha

i took an accidental nap from about 10:30 to 2:30am when brandon woke me up. the little bugger fell asleep on the phone, and it was the cutest thing i've ever heard in my life. but anyway, now i can't sleep. i'm listening to the new beastie boys album. also the sky is purple and very pretty. too many lights. eaghhiio.

i'm about to go shopping for clothes with mom and morgan. i hate shopping. i hate to shop. i hate the shop. i do not want to go. but i have to go. for future use, does anyone have tips on how to make shopping less painful? i can't think of anything.
on sunday, we are going to st. louis to see patti smith. i am going to die with excitement. brandon saw her a few days ago and said she was amazing. weeeeoooooo. after that, we are coming back to memphis for one night before we leave for orlando where the librarians of the world will unite for one week. i can just imagine playing spot the librarian as we surge up some themed rollercoaster at disneyworld... ah yes. that is the life for me. actually, i don't give a shit about the amusement parks. i need some books. plus i love visiting cities and people-watching and all of that. of all the library trips i've been on, my favorite cities were chicago, san francisco, and new orleans. take me baaaack...