Wednesday, July 31, 2002

just can't leave that dog alone

last night, laylee and i went to bookstar. we looked at the mammoth book of erotica or whatever, but it was really terrifying. we looked at other photography books, like this one with photographs all of women (some of them were famous and some of them were just normal people). it was pretty cool, but we didn't like the pictures of the government women because they looked so posed. then we walked to turtle's and looked at CDs we couldn't buy. actually, i had $10 so i could have bought something used but i didn't really see much of anything. laylee remembered that she had to return her movies to blockbuster that night, so she called her brother on her cell but he wouldn't take them. we called kevin to see if we could attack him, and elise answered his cell phone.
elise: where are you?
me: turtle's.
elise: turtle's music? do we know where that is? ....ok don't move. you can breathe, but don't move.
and so a few minutes later, she and kevin and robin goodwin showed up. we hung out at turlte's for a little while longer, before piling into kevin's car and going to my house. (the ride in the back seat was very intimate, as i was squished between laylee and robin.) at my house, i just ran in to tell my dad who i was with and that he didn't have to pick me up, and i grabbed the camera. we decided to go to java cabana, which turned out to be closed, so we just walked around cooper-young, and then further down cooper. i got some good footage, but some of it is REALLY dark since they didn't want me to use the night shot the whole time. i filmed a lot of the backs of kevin, elise, laylee, and robin as i walked behind them. we got some nice conversation footage. some dancing. elise jumping on kevin's back. pretending to pet the cats through the glass at house of mews. the monkees walk. elise filmed the cute guy who works at black lodge (video store). the weirdest part of the evening was when we were standing in this empty parking lot place, on cooper. the place that's filled with children's games at the cooper-young festival. (yes, i pretended that i was on the moon bounce thing.) and uh. there were three people walking by and elise yelled "can we interview you?" and they were like "sure" and they came over and elise told them we didn't really have any questions. after a couple seconds i realized that one of them was morgan, from the our own voice production of the play "spurt of blood." i was trying to think of a quote i could say from the play that would show i knew who he was but the only thing i could think of was "SHOW ME YOUR TITS" and that wouldn't have been very appropriate. you know, though, i always end up seeing morgan everywhere. like once he was at my school for some reason. and i see him at bus stops sometimes, and outside blockbuster. once i saw him at otherlands (where he apparently works) and i said, "hi, morgan!" because i forgot he didn't know me. he was kinda like "...hi?" because my dad and my sister were the ones in a play with him, not me. i forgot i guess. anyway, the other guy said that they were watching entries for a film festival thing and elise asked what movies they were about to watch. they said they didn't know the titles, but they'd just watched one called romeo and juliet revisited. and if you didn't know. that's the movie katherine, brittany, morgan, and i made for katherine and i's english extra credit assignment. katherine entered it in the film festival for god knows what reason, but i had nothing to do with it. that just about killed me of embarassment. it was very very very weird. it was a wild and wacky night.

Nabikichan086: hell, i didnt think you'd be this crazy when i first met you
Subject: Re: huntsville show

Thanks for your letter. And thanks for the Daisy info; we will contact them.
You should contact the club in Huntsville. Often, underage people can get in with their parents.
I prefer a younger crowd to tell you the truth.
Tell the club I said so!!

Monday, July 29, 2002

Subject: huntsville show

dear rasputina,
we were going to come see your show in atlanta, but our parents don't want to drive that far, since we live in memphis. they were willing, however, to drive us to the show two days later in huntsville. it took some convincing, since it's the night before the first day of school, but eventually they said it was cool. then we discovered that you can't buy tickets for that show at and eventually we found a web site that said the show was only for ages 19+. seeing as we are only 14, 15, and 14 this is very distressing. we are very disappointed that we can't come to your concert. we were really looking forward to it. it would have been a great way to start the school year (sleeping through the first day). if you ever play in the south again, you should come here to memphis, at the new daisy theatre, which is all-ages. you can email them about booking shows at we might be able to convince our parents to take us to atlanta, but it's very doubtful. keep up the good work, but keep your younger fans in mind!

becca, laylee, and alanna

walking down the alley, she's not scared

on friday night, brittany called and asked if she could come over. so she did. we stayed up way too late, considering that i had been awake for about 34 hours. mom woke us up around 11am or something and took brittany, morgan, and i to laylee's yard sale. she said she was about to call us and get her brother arman to take us over to my house, so that's a pretty funny coincidence. we were going to buy some things, but laylee's wonderful mother just gave it all to us, which was very sweet of her. we terrified arman. brittany filmed some things with laylee's camera. mom did end up buying laylee's futon, which is now brittany's bed. no, brittany does NOT live at our house, but she might as well, which is why we bought a bed for her. so we kidnapped laylee, dragged her to young avenue deli, and made her spend the night. but i'm getting ahead of myself. when we got back home, we all .. sat around a while and tried to pass the time. we ate sonic. and watched mom's bird film. very arty, let me tell you. if you didn't know, we were going to go to the dishes concert at young avenue deli, that we weren't supposed to go to. we got to young avenue deli around 8:30 or something. when we'd called earlier, they said the show would start around 10:30. the men at the door asked if we were 21. dad was a very good actor. he was "surprised" when they asked him to pay $5 to get in. he said we wanted to eat dinner. (if you didn't know, young avenue deli is a bar/restaurant and anyone can come in to eat, but or some reason, during shows they only let 21+) so they let us in. we sat in the third booth from the door, which is on the wall away from the stage, but that makes it a good seat when people start to stand up. and the place is pretty small anyway so we had a really great view of the stage. laylee and i ordered 1/2lb hot dogs w/ cheese. i got a root beer like mom suggested so it would look like we were drinking (which is the whole reason that we weren't supposed to be there, you see). i realized that we were sitting in a booth next to the paper hearts, who were also scheduled to play that night. it was so crazy being right there next to them. i also informed everyone that the dishes were setting up on the stage, so we figured they were playing first and that was good because that was who we really cared about. these guys came in and put this disco camel and some fake flame thingies on the booth behind us. we assumed they were snowglobe, which was another band that was supposed to play. HOWEVER! they turned out to be from camel cigarettes. they took their little camel statue thingies and set them up next to the paper hearts' merchandise, and instantly this line formed. it took us a while to figure out that if you showed your driver's license, they gave you like. this case of free camel cigarettes. we all ate very slowly, but i finished last of course. did you ever doubt me? near the end of my hot dog, the bouncer guy from the door came back and said that we couldn't stay because we were under 21, and he didn't even MENTION the alcohol. he told us that it was illegal for us to be under the same roof as the people giving out cigarettes.... but they were carding anyway, so why did it matter? and dad was there, as if he'd stand by that. so the guy left and we were very depressed and panicked and dad paid for our food. we overheard the bouncer guy telling the paper hearts, in the booth behind us, that they were supposed to kick out their under 21 guests, but they weren't going to since they were "with the band" and brittany turned around and said, "can we be with you?" but they just laughed. dad went to the bathroom, and brittany asked the woman from the paper hearts if we could say we were with them so that they wouldn't kick us out. she was just like "we aren't from around here, we don't know about the policy, blah dee blah dee blah" and we were just about to leave when we saw two women from the dishes again! so brittany, laylee,and i all got up at once and went over to them. brittany (our mouthpiece) said to the lead guitarist, "are you with the dishes?" and she nodded. brittany continued, "we came to see your show, and they're going to kick us out because we're under 21 because of the camel booth." and mrs. dishes was like "THAT'S SHIT! THOSE FUCKING AGOIGIEIOAGIE THEY CAN'T DO THAT" because she has this biiiig thing against smoking. "YOU'RE NOT LEAVING, THEY'RE LEAVING." and we were like "awesome!!!" she told sarah, the lead vocalist/guitarist before she went outside to talk to Mr. Bouncer and we sat back down. about two seconds later, they came over because she had to point us out to the bouncer guy so that he would know who we were and whatnot. oh man it was great. kiki the lead guitarist asked my father if he was somebody's dad. when he said yes, she wanted to know "isn't that enough!?" but dad said "apparently not. they begged me to take them here tonight." so we were all excited, but our waitress was sore that we got to stay, i think. so the dishes show was really really really cool, and brittany filmed the whole thing. i made a clip of sarah acknowledging our existence on stage, but brittany won't let me upload it yet so IM me if you want to see it. the bassist was very sweet-looking but i didnt really get to talk to her. laylee says that they noticed afterwards that we had a camera, but didn't seem to mind. and apparently, earlier that day they'd been in a wreck! and some of their equipment was screwed up so they had a few technical problems, but they were so great. dad said that they were his favorite of the three bands, which is funny because he came to see Snowglobe. after the show, laylee, brittany, and i bought shirts and i bought their new cd (but i maybe should have bought the old one, as it will be harder to find.) and it took me all night long, but i got all four Dishes to sign the little cd insert. the drummer was a different guy than the person who played on the album that i bought (actually, i don't know if he's played on any albums) but he laughed and signed it anyway. it was wonderful. snowglobe played next, and i liked some of the things they did a lot. i think i liked them more than dad, but i'm not sure. he said their sound wasn't what he was expecting. i filmed a bit of them, but the tape said "five minutes left" before they started to get really interesting (as a live act) so i cut it off, and taped five minutse of the paper hearts show. we left after four songs, though, because we were tired and it was late (around 1:30) and they were a little too country for our tastes. back at home, we went to bed right after we put the show into my computer. today, we woke up kind of late. we basically just sat around all day. we put on harriet the spy, but brittany got picked up before it was over and then laylee got a call from her brother and his girlfriend that they were at sonic and they were coming to get her. so we stood outside waiting for them and filmed each other and she left and the end.

Friday, July 26, 2002

Schizotypal:Very High

-- Click Here To Take The Test --

my results change every time i take this thing!! i'm posting my results from november 19 in the commentaries.
laylee deleted her freaking commentaries AGAIN and i am off to fix them AGAIN. that girl.
i accidentally stayed up all night. to make up for it, i am staying up all day.

Thursday, July 25, 2002

today i woke up at 6pm, meaning that i missed getting to go to the zoo with brittany and her family. that was very upsetting.

i'm supposed to pass this along.

"Hi, my name is Jillian Leggatt and I am a graduate student at the University of Windsor, in Ontario, Canada. I am trying to find Riot Grrrls, between the ages of 14 and 19 (currently living in North America) to participate in a study I am doing. I am looking at how exposure to different types of ideas about what it means to be a girl may influence the way that teenage girls feel and think about themselves. Participation in the study involves the completion of a questionnaire (either over the web or on paper) and it takes around 45 minutes.
Participating in this study will give you a chance to explore some of your thoughts and beliefs about yourself, society, and the importance of attractiveness. In addition, the results of this study may be used to help other girls and young women with problems they may have in these areas. If you do decide to participate, your name will be entered
in a draw to win $100US as a thank-you for your help.
If you (or anyone you know) is a female between the ages of 14 and 19 and are interested in participating, simply visit the web site at (please forward this message to anyone you know that fits the description). If you are under 18 I also need your parents to fill in a consent form. For legal reasons this consent form must be printed out and mailed to me.
You can also fill out a paper and pencil version of the questionnaire (then you can avoid tieing up your internet connection, the cost of mailing me a parental concent form if you are under 18, etc). I would be happy to send you a paper version of the questionnaire package as well as a self-addressed, stamped envelope for your to send it back. If you would prefer that just send your name and address to my e-mail address or
You can also contact me via email if you have any other questions or comments about my study.
I am having some difficulty getting the number of people I need so even if you can't participate, please pass on this message to any female riot grrrls between the ages of 14 and 19 (currently living in North America).
Thank you very much for your time,
Sincerely, Jillian"

which francesca lia block girl are you?
(quiz created by shelle)

the picture isn't very accurate is it. oh well, i don't care. i like that i got witch baby. i always thought i was witch baby.

Tuesday, July 23, 2002

you ought to be proud that i'm getting good marks
tracy is awesome. i found out that she has a livejournal thing, she's getting married, and she's a substitute teacher! i have never had a sub with a tongue piercing before. it would be so cool to see her in school some time. she also helped me get my own livejournal which i do intend to use. maybe i'll post the same thing at both places hahaa. or i can put up a slightly editted version there or something. who knows. anyway, the community there is really awesome.
i have decided that aj is not only The Dude from the big lebowski, but he is also clifford. you know. from clarissa explains it all. yeah. thats the guy. with the jacket.
also, i have a week's worth of posts up on this page! yes! i encourage you to scroll through them and remember all the good times we've had. not that anyone is actually reading this. the comment system wasn't worth it.

Monday, July 22, 2002

it's a cold cold world for a high school girl

brittany just went home (9:30 or thereabouts). when we woke up on sunday... well i can't rightly remember. oh yeah. we woke up around 12pm and lay in bed and talked for about an hour. then just when we were getting up, dad came and told us that he was leaving so he gave me $10 for us to go get sonic. brittany took a shower while i imported the celebration dance from unbecoming onto the computer, with plans to edit later. eventually, we moseyed on down to the sonic, with my camera, and we had a nice time filming things. like a bum and his collection of whatnots, including a sonic peppermint, napkins, cigarettes, one of those communion glasses, etc. there was this great bird eating a french fry, who kept hopping all over the place. after we finished eating, we walked across the street to the famous Service Over Self building and filmed it and filmed the guy picking up trash and his molester mustache. we came home and dad took us to the library. brittany got animal dreams by barbara kingsolver for her required summer reading, and the dolls house which is the second collection in the sandman series by neil gaiman. then we got the big lebowski because it's on the list of movies that kevin and elise are compiling that i have to see. we also got being john malkovich and backbeat. when we got back home, we editted the unbecoming celebration dance video. it looks as good as something that i filmed can. i might put up a clip, if brittany gives me permission. by the time we finished, it was raining, so we set up the camera in the window and danced around on my drive way. then we took the camera onto the porch, put it on top of the trash can, and played in a puddle (and the yard of a house for sale) across the street. i scraped my toe whilst kicking water at brittany. after a bit we came in and took showers before watching our beautiful home movies and then the big lebowski which was funny. the night before we'd watched fight club which we enjoyed and i would like to see again. parts of it reminded me of lord of the flies, which i didnt really like. you know, though, i meant enjoy that book more if i read it on my own. god damn, i had a horrible teacher that year. she kept trying to force her symbolism from that book on us. "the mulberry birthmark is foreshadowing symbolism that he's going to die in a fire," etc. i hate that woman. anyway though. maybe i should read the fight club book. (jerel obivously thinks i should.) after our movie was over was over, brittany and i messed with our movie and went online for a while before we went to bed, where we watched rushmore. (well, i watched it. i'd never seen the whole thing. brittany started trying to fall asleep before it was over. i don't know if she succeeded. we probably should have put on rat race, which would have entertained her more.) i ate three pieces of pizza and burned one and a half sticks of vanilla incense (two different brands) before the movie was over. and i had some organic apple juice. wonderful. today i woke up about 12:30 and started trying to edit the fact recitations and post show for unbecoming. before long, brittany came in, and we spent the best part of the day editting footage for our movie. it was long and tedious but we worked through it. our movie is about 30 minutes long so far. it's not really a "documentary" or anything. it's just us being stupid. it's fun. who knows if it will entertain anyone else, though. and it's not just US. it's my family and kevin and elise and laylee and random people on the street. after that, we watched being john malkovich which was creepy. we had wendy's for dinner and did brittany's music log and then she went home. she left her pillow here.

Sunday, July 21, 2002

brittany just forced me to CUT OFF ALL HER HAIR

i'm not part of your circle of friends

brittany is over. she is using my house as her portal to the outside world before she enters the realm of the Week-long Hermit, in which she has no internet and no phone and no transportation for a week because her family is moving. she's on the phone right now with aj, in the other room and i am not disturbing them. he was supposed to come to memphis at some point this month, but it got pushed back to august and now it doesn't look like it's going to happen at all. but then again i'm not surprised, as nothing that gets planned ever happens when it gets planned by brittany.

Saturday, July 20, 2002

burn down the disco, hang the dj

dad woke me up, like i asked him to, at 11am so that we could watch what i filmed from the three performances of unbecoming. we need to get done this weekend, so we didn't have time to edit it fancy. we just picked which version of each scene we liked best. actually, i'm supposed to splice one of the dances and i've already smashed together two halves of tell yourself, featuring my lovely sister. i think i'm going to upload a clip from it. (don't worry, brittany, it's really tiny! i found out how to do it. i can even do a streaming one.) i was also going to talk about synesthesia in this post, and how there are now images available for you to look at on the web site. to see them, go here. you have to manually change the number in the url from 002 to 003 to see more (and et cetera) but there aren't too many. so go.
take the francesca lia block book quiz!

If you were a Francesca Lia Block book, which one would you be? take the quiz here!

i KNEW i would get this. is anyone else surprised? i like the idea of this quiz. i wonder what other choices there are? i took it with alternate answers and got:
take the francesca lia block book quiz!

If you were a Francesca Lia Block book, which one would you be? take the quiz here!

i'm not sure which one is more appropriate. what do you think? as a book, i like echo better. .....i think. SO HARD TO CHOOSE. ;_;
hey counterfeit fake

i watched pulp fiction. i'm not going to ramble this time, i promise. i don't really know what i thought about it. i'm glad i saw it, i think. there were parts that were really funny, obviously. it's a strange movie. a movie that everyone should see. but... odd. one thing that i thought was kinda weird was that the whole time we were watching it i kept thinking about violet from violet and claire by francesca lia block. violet wanted to be a directer and she wanted to direct a movie. she made some comments about how her movie would be something like pulp fiction. i have always associated that movie with that book and now i'm not sure what to think about violet's movie. i didn't imagine it like that. maybe i should read the book again.

Friday, July 19, 2002

aLittleStarlight: sorry i disappeared
Glee Rainstar: sokay whered yu go
aLittleStarlight: the bathroom
aLittleStarlight: only to discover that
aLittleStarlight: the biggest puddle of pee ever created is covering half my room
aLittleStarlight: and i literally waded into it.
Glee Rainstar: ew...!!

my sins: they only belong to me

this evening, while dad and i were watching pete and pete, right after i finished eating my spaghetti with clam sauce and i was about to get some organic apple juice, the doorbell rang. dad answered the door as i quickly tried to quickly rid myself of spaghetti with clam sauce smell. (i don't know if it worked, but i was tasting it for a huge portion of the evening. i wish i had gotten some apple juice earlier.) elise was dressed crazy great because it was dress up day at theatre camp or something. (i REALLY wish i'd brought the camera with me, but i'd thought we were going to be dancing.) her initial outfit was normal enough (shorts, tie-dye tank top) but she had on this great scarf thing and someone had colored her short, bleached hair with a pink crayola marker and given her crazy dark eye makeup. kevin asked where the dog was, meaning irie, meaning she's on vacation, sorry to disappoint him. so we went to the infamous shell in overton park, but the thing we had been planning to go to was cancelled due to rain. (it wasn't raining then, but it had been earlier.) so we drove around for a while. kevin tried to pawn me. eventually, when we ended up back at overton park and laughed at old people playing golf, we decided to go to peabody place, because elise wanted to dance and she figured we could dance next to the bowling in jillian's. so we got there and first we went to hot topic where i was repeatedly terrified and i repeatedly annoyed elise and kevin, with my dislike for everything (which i also did in the car, with choice of music. i wouldnt have complained about some things but elise is wonderful and she actually asked and she knows i dont like john mayer. even though kevin did seem to enjoy my noise of terror at that superman song). elise asked the hot topic people why they didn't have sex pistols shirts and the guy tried to sell her a punk rock magazine that they didn't actually have. she ended up buying pixie wings and put them on immediately. as she said later, we must have been quite the threesome parading around peabody place. elise looked was telling everyone who commented on her outfit that she was a faery. crowds already part because of kevin's big, red, white-boy fro. and then of course me, kind of trailing along most of the time. but it was really nice. i didn't feel unincluded or anything, which i think is something that can EASILY happen when a couple and a friend all go out someplace together. at jillian's, elise and i walked to the lower floor and looked at the bowling. nobody was dancing, so we found kevin who was exhausting himself playing .. some game. elise did her monologe for me, which was great, but i probably shouldve asked her another time because she couldnt get COMPLETELY into it, seeing as we were in public. meaning, she couldn't start screaming like she was supposed to. let's see. we went into tower. we looked at magazines. there was this japanese magazine called cutie or something and whenever we looked at it, kevin and i started singing minimoni. except that all i could do was "minimoni telephone" and "ding ding ding" and he knew REAL WORDS and elise went crazy. elise and kevin tried to read some japanese thing about cowboy bebop and i read the le tigre article in the magazine i already bought (aehioaghe). the music in the store was giving me a really bad headache. we looked at posters (amazing how many were scantily-clad/nude women!) around that point we figured it was time to leave. elise went into this chocolate store while kevin and i marvelled at this gigantimous stuffed bear that was sitting on this bench outside the store, wearing this little shirt that said "give me the chocolate and nobody gets hurt." we were just discovering that it was chained to the bench when this security guard came up and started talking to us and telling us that like. some 10-year-old boy had donated the bear and the bench and said that he wanted to see them whenever he came back. that some 3-year-old boy named him Peabody Boy. that some man had offered $10 million for the bear and they wouldnt sell. so elise and kevin and i started to leave, you know, go to the escalators, and he CAME WITH US and that scared me. well you know. i guess it was just annoying, but i dont think it bothered kevin and elise (of course). we were leaving the parking garage and we discovered that it had been raining, hard, and it was lightning everywhere. kevin's dad called to find out if we had gotten caught in the rain, which we obviously hadn't. they were just about to drop me off back at home (my head was killing me) when we decided to go to sonic instead! bliss! sonic! wondrous! kevin treated elise and i, which was very nice and i love him. elise had a fudge sundae, kevin had an m&m blast, and i had an oreo blast. to put it bluntly, it was a fucking great time. i think there was something in the ice cream because we all got REALLY hyper and we were laughing at everything. at one point, when elise finished her sundae, she wanted to put the trash on that little desk thing thats under the ordering thing. so kevin rolled down the window and he was trying to put it on there and he dropped it and elise and i laughed really loudly for a long time kevin was unsuccessfully attempting to get the cup and put it back on the thingie. needless to say, the whole place was looking at us. including this group of christian youth, from across the street at the Service Over Self place. when they were leaving, they were all staring at us funny so elise started screaming (the windows were rolled down unfortuneately) but they probably heard her anyway. the whole thing was really funny, i can't even tell you. unfortuneatly, we had to go home eventually. so we did. it was raining. but apparently right after they dropped me off here, right next to the cuban restaurant that used to be captain d's, some guy tried to merge INTO kevin, who swerved and ran over the curb but managed to keep the car and its passengers intact. bravo.
please note the beautiful picture of the recently built SOS building. it's across the street from sonic. in that image, you should be seeing midtown foods, the antique place, and (across the street) the smart mart, the laundromat, a real sky. that kind of thing. i guess they don't want to admit that they built their new thingie in a pretty ugly place so they had to put big fake clouds/sky on it to make it look godly. and i don't seem to remember the road being so black and the grass being so green. come to think, IS there any grass there? i will have to go take a real picture of it tomorrow for you guys. someone remind me.

Thursday, July 18, 2002

try this trick and spin it

i watched part of amélie again while i ate my love pasta or whatever it's called. i will tell you now, that was the longest it has ever taken me to make packaged macaroni. first, there were no clean pots. so i had to wash one, no big deal. but to do so, i had to load the dishwasher because there was literally no room in the sink for anything. i was very pleased to discover that there was ONE bowl left. long story short, my pasta was invaded by ants, i missed most of the movie, and half the macaroni landed on the floor before i got a chance to eat it.
then dad came to take me away to the oral surgeon's before amélie was over. in the car, i was reading feed and i was telling him about this filet mignon farm, in the book, and a couple other things. and people that the author was compared to. my poor father. he's hardly read any of the classics. he just saw the movie. the oral surgery checkup itself was really wonderful. just because nothing happened. we spent a couple minutes in the waiting room. i read a little more in feed and dad read some money magazine. the people called me in and i listened to that horrible "sister christian" song. then mr. oral surgeon came and said that my mouth looks "great" and that one of the thingies is getting a lot of exposure. or something. which is good, as far as i can tell. and i told him that my mouth/teeth/whatnot still hurts/is tender and he said that it will continue to do that until i see the orthodontist. but i think that it will still hurt when i see the orthodontist becuase the orthodontist is an EVIL MAN. anyway, he told me to keep rinsing my mouth with sat water. so then we left. it was really easy. i discovered my father in the waiting room reading in the middle of my book. as it turns out, he'd gotten interested in it, and for my father, that means he read the last page. and apparently he didn't think it was much of an ending, so he read the page before that. and then the whole chapter, and the chapter before that. and he's crazy. (the chapters are not very long. you leave the man alone for five minutes...) to say the least, i HATE reading ahead and people who read ahead.
so he took me to turtle's and i had planned to spend my allowance on a new cd case. but they didn't have the kind i wanted which really sucks. i'm not that picky about them, believe me, but i wanted the long kind that holds. who knows. however many it holds. 48 or something? that really annoyed me that they didn't have ANY. they didn't have what i was looking for along the lines of UPCOMING BIRTHDAYS..... so i got surfer rosa by the pixies and whip-smart (used) by liz phair. for myself. let's see though. surfer rosa is ok, but i don't like it nearly as much as doolittle. well, at least not yet. you never know. it took me a while to get as into doolittle as i am right now, which is kind of why i ended up buying another pixies album today. i haven't listened to liz phair yet because i put it in the computer just now and it wouldn't register and it popped back out. and that worries me. i better go see if it plays elsewhere.
so soon i'm off to overton park with kevin and elise to see if the thing is actually happening. apparently no one is sure? or not about the time anyway. if the thing isn't actually happening, we're going to do other things.

Take The Ewan McGregor Test!

Take the What High School
Stereotype Are You?
quiz, by Angel.

I have minor fun.

This test taken @, where there is way too many other tests & things to keep you occupied, really.

What obscure band are you?

You are worth exactly: $1,107,020.00, which is a lot lot lot less than everyone else seems to get. I always knew I was cheap.

i can't wait to crawl out of my shell

it would appear that it's a good time for resurrection here on the blog front. if you haven't been already, visit she.speaks.good.english and have a wonderful time. and also become a member. last night i was awake for forever and ever after i went to bed. i hate that this keeps happening! it's probably a proven fact that people are happier when they stay up really late and then sleep really late rather than going to bed earlier and getting up earlier. my body just hates sleep that much, i guess. the whole bonfire madigan cd played, and i must have been delusional because i kept imaging that i heard noises coming out of my stereo. it was crazy. after a while i ended up putting on a tori cd (to venus and back) and i fell asleep before that was over, thank god. even though it didn't feel like it.
please note that i woke up this morning, looked at the clock, and thought it said 12 something. so i thought to myself, "wow thats pretty good, considering how late i was up." and i stared at the clock some more and decided that it said 10 something, which was even better. then the little digital numbers finally made themselves known to me, and why i woke up at 8:35am, no one will ever know. it's incredibly distressing. and it felt like i hadn't slept at all, so i tried to, but the cat KNEW I WAS AWAKE of course, as usual. so she came and sat on me and looked pitiful and i had to pet her. i'm truly starving. does anyone have any suggestions for people who ... can't eat? i'm going to live the rest of my life on cheesy alfredo.
today i have a check-up at the oral surgeon place so hopefully he'll tell me that everything is fine and i will never feel pain in my mouth area again. ever. but he will probably end up telling me that not only have i gotten an infection from not rinsing with enough salty water, but my mouth now supports several fungi. (somewhat like the fun guy on my mother's toe?) he's also going to prescribe me to some crazy medicine that makes my head bloat up like those fat-headed goldfish. but really he will just ask me where the hell that little thing that he put in my mouth is. and let me tell you, i don't really know. it came out while i was eating and i told dad and dad said "maybe we should keep it" so i gave it to him and i think he ate it or something. we decided that it was a suture. mom said, on the phone, that those were supposed to disintegrate or something? who knows. so i guess thats ok that it fell out.
as previously stated, i am supposed to go to that thing at overton square this evening with kevin and elise. i hope it goes well. i thought about taking the camera, but that will be a real burden, somewhat like at hunter's party, only that was kind of on purpose and most of the time i wasn't even the person holding it, so i guess that doesn't count. but uh. if you would like (green) pictures from the party email me. whaogiiaiaeooeaoie

alanna's brilliant (accidental) review of amélie

a little while ago, i watched amélie, which i enjoyed thoroughly. brittany, for your information, i had NO problem watching it with my dad, embarassment-wise. (the other night, we watched velvet goldmine, featuring fully nude ewan mcgregor.) amélie was a wonderfully likeable character, and audrey tautou did a brilliant job portraying her. (really, i dont think anyone else could have done it. that smile! those eyes! goodness gracious) the vibrant visual affect was gorgeous and stunning, and the cinematography part was really interesting. (i watched the special feature on that. truly fascinating.) not only was the camerawork amazing (in scenes like this one), but the way everything was presented. like how a lot of the shots were red- and/or green-focused with one other color. like there were a few in amélie's apartment where most everything was red, there was a bit of yelllow, and like. there would be one really blue lamp. (just like this) and that kind of thing isn't so obvious i guess, like you dont say 'look theres a blue lamp' but it gives a really nice effect to the movie, even if you cant put your finger on what exactly it is. also, a lot of the scenes were sort of tinted. like, even when they were dark, they were really blue or green or something along those lines. i think if i end up watching it again tomorrow, i may enjoy it even more, because i'll be able to focus MORE on the images and not reading everything. it's a very very visual movie, and i could tell even without the behind the scenes stuff that they had spent a long time choosing just how to do certain shots and whatnot. a lot of times i would get captivated by what was going on in the picture rather than what was going on under it, in the text. the movie did seem kind of long, but that definitley wasn't a bad thing. i wouldn't have minded if it was longer, but it didn't really need to be. a few minutes of it before the very end frustrated me somewhat. (just the extent of her shyness, i think.) and. well i don't want to spoil this for anyone, so if you haven't seen it, then (to quote sara) work that scrollie mouse!
right. as i was saying, the extent of her shyness. at the beginning and stuff, just starting that whole 'quest' thing, it seems like if she was really so shy as they made her out to be near the very end, she wouldn't have actually done ANYTHING. and really, do you know any shy waitresses? so at the end, those two people, whats their names? joseph and georgette, from the bar. yes well, whoever they were, they didn't seem to end very happily. and another thing, everything (for the most part) did turn out all right, but it seemed to me that some of the things amélie did were not ... the best thing to do. she meant well and everything, and everyone turned out happy, but you know? like the thing with the gnome was hilarious, but when she first stole him it upset me greatly. her poor devestated father. actually, i got over that, especially when she brought him back. so that doesn't really count. but uh. the fake lettter, i found that to be kind of cruel. i guess i would though.
but anyway, i love the movie. i'm done now.

Wednesday, July 17, 2002

pull this thread as i walk away

my teeth hurt like ANYTHING. it's really uncool. i had oral surgery last thursday, and last night right before i went to bed they started hurting more than they have hurt all week. and it's so sad too because i actually attempted to eat pizza last night, and succeeded fairly well. oh well. so i'm back to pasta (cheesy alfredo by kraft). i already ate all the pudding. dad doesn't want me to take the strong painkillers until he comes home from work, god knows why not. kroger's extra strength Pain Reliever does NOT do any good, let me tell you. i just had crazy memories of my dream from last night about. i dont know. i remember people from OOVTT and going into this little miniature jungle petting zoo, except that the lions were out to get me. it took me forever and ever to get to sleep last night, and then i had to get haunted by a crazy dream. wonderful.

other things alanna remembers about last night:
--thinking that if the cd (house tornado by throwing muses) ended before i fell asleep, i would get up and finish feed
--deciding to partially resurrect the cam archives, for lack of things to do
--reminding myself that i could musically link kristin hersh to frank black. like in the six degrees of kevin bacon. i think i fell asleep while i was doing it though, because i don't ever remember getting there. or maybe i got side-tracked trying to make it longer than four degrees.
if you go, i will surely die
well. it's true. my blog has been resurrected. how long it will last, none can say. why did i decide to revive my blog today? god knows (except not). but ah. send your good karma towards the little project, if you will. but as you can see, i don't have an archive or the cam pages or anything like i used to. yes, the Currents bit is as long as ever. i'm hoping that this time around i won't get so involved in my blog, or that my parents won't freaking find it, or that it won't come up on google searches, or something.
if you remember, the reason it died in the first place (near the end of february) was because. well basically my parents heard from a friend that if you search for some things on google (like the name of the play my dad and sister were in) my blog would come up. so dad searched and found it and read, etc. he asked me to stop using and remove all previous obscene language from the premises, and i didn't want to, so i changed URLs and hoped that it wouldn't come up on google anymore. then i proceeded to fix all the links to wwf (ehehehehehe) from DOY and morgan's blog, etc, and dad FOUND IT AGAIN. and ASKED ME AGAIN. and i still didnt want to, so i deleted it. yeah, i've kinda been posting for the last couple months but it's mostly just quiz result thingies.
so anyway though. right now. brittany has left her heart with me in memphis. everyone on earth has seem amelie but me, and it would seem that kevin is in love with it. a lot. he saw it in the theatre six times. i think i'm suppposed to go someplace with kevin and elise on thursday, but who knows if it will actually happen. it would be really great to get out of the fucking house and do something. dad has forgotten yet again to bring my required reading home from the library, so here i am watching noggin and reading somewhat and resurrecting things that should still be dead.
alanna's tv schedule today:
pete and pete (times two)
kids say the darndest things (times two)
daria (times two)
clarissa explains it all
half of sessions at 54th on trio (the beth orton half.)
about ten seconds of the one-hour bjork thing i taped.

....... please someone. PLEASE someone come and take me away.

we take metaphors this far

this is probably illegal, but this book hasnt actually been published yet. and who's looking? anyway, this is an excerpt from feed by m.t. anderson and. well. please read it when it comes out in october.

Violet was off someplace talking to the doctor. I say “someplace” because we were using the examination room to blow needles at an anatomical guy’s basket.
Link and Calista were standing real close by the vibrating bath, and I realized that they had probably decided to hook up. It looked like Calista was getting over Link being so stupid, which was brag, because he’s a nice guy. Quendy sat there on the table, glaring at them.
Violet came back from the doctor. She was all intense looking. She said she’d found a place she wanted to show me. I said sure, and I went wit her. We went out into the hall. Now I could hear the lights again. The shouting from the examination room was more distant. We walked for a ways through some tubes and so on. People floated by automatically on gurneys.
She walked in front of me. Her slippers went fitik, fitik, sliss, fitik on the floors. They were soft sounds, like the sounds mouths make when they open and close. I watched here from behind. When we stopped to wait for an uptube, she lifted her ankle so her heel came out of the slipper, and with her toes she slid it back and forth on the tiles without thinking about it. She massaged the floor. When the uptube was free, she settled her foot back in, and walked, fitik, fitik, sliss, fitik, right on in.
She took me up to a huge window. We stood in front of it. Outside the window, there had been a garden, like, I guess you could call it a courtyard or a terrarium? But a long time ago the glass ceiling over the terrarium had cracked, and so everything was dead, and there was moon dust all over everything out there. Everything was gray.
Also, something was leaking air and heat out in the garden, lots of waste air, and the air was rocketing off into space through the hole, so all of the dead vines in the garden were standing straight up, slapping back and forth, pulled toward the crack in the ceiling where we could see the stars.
“Whoa,” I said.
“Isn’t it beautiful?”
“It’s like…,” I said. “It’s like a squid in love with the sky.”
She was only looking at me, which was nice. I hadn’t felt anything like that for a long time.
She rubbed my head, and she went, “You’re the only one of them that uses metaphor.”
She was staring at me, and I was staring at her, and I moved toward her, and we kissed. The vines beat against each other out in the gray, dead garden, they were all writhing against the spine of the Milky Way on its edge, and for the first time, I felt her spine too, each knuckle of it, with my fingers, while the air leaked and the plants whacked each other near the silent stars.

Tuesday, July 16, 2002

commander venus
that dog
natalie macmaster
k's choice
black lab
dead milkmen
pj harvey
missy elliott
kasey chambers
crzy britsih reefer song
blue citrus hearts
gore gore girls
amazing plaid

early punk this person has some cool stuff.


Friday, July 12, 2002

1. What's your name: alanna
2. What do you wish your name was, instead: alanna's fine. but if i changed it, i would make it something totally weird. like skank zero.
3. How old are you:15
4. Would you ever eat sushi? probably not
5. Would you ever eat sushi off a naked body? why would i want to do that? no.
6. Have you ever considered homosexuality? yes
7. What's your sexual preference? i dont know
8. What were you in a past life? an apple haghal
9. I punch you. Quick, what do you do? lose conciousness
10. When confronted with Britney Spears, you...? suck her bone marrow
11. What's your favorite coffee? i like starbucks fraps
13. Are you my Angel? no
14. Do you consider yourself a poet? not really. i try
15. What do you wanna be when you grow up? i dont know.
16. There's a naked man in your living room. What do you do? call the police
17. How stupid do you think you are? pretty stupid. everyone's stupid.
18. How stupid do other people think you are? incredibly
19. Who do you think you are? i dont know
20. Is the Wonderbra good or bad? bad i guess. i've never owned one
22. What's your favorite fruit? apple
23. Can you feel the love tonight? definitely not
24. On a nude beach, you would...? leave
25. Make up a story with yourself, a bridge, and a rabbit: once upon a time alanna attempted to walk over the bridge but the evil rabbit troll underneath hopped out and snarled and alanna thought it was the monty python rabbit so she screamed and lost conciousness and was eaten alive.
26. What do you think about contemporary art? it depends. how contemorary is contemporary?
27. Do you like being naked? no
28. If we had proof God didn't exist, what would happen? chrisitans would freak out
29. Do you enjoy cheeze whiz? yeah
30. What's your position on virginity? some people know when the time is right. and it's different for everybody. but some people are idiots. i think i could be quite happy being a virgin forever.
31. On civil unions? yep
32. On RuPaul? you go, girl.
33. On mosquito bites? i hate them
34. On old sitcoms? i dont like sitcoms.
35. On Fran Drescher? who
36. Are you left handed or right handed? right
37. Are you smart? i dont know.
38. What's your middle name? rae
39. How many personalities do you have? a zillion
40. How many piercings do you have? two. one in each ear.
41. What was your first word? chocolate
42. Are you superstitious? it depends
43. Do you read your horoscope? if i'm bored, and it's right there.
44. Do you believe in that stuff? i dont know. it depends.
45. Can you do a cartwheel? no. i suck.
46. Do you have contact lenses? no. fucking glasses kill me half the time though.
47. Do you have a retainer or braces? braces
48. Can you drive? no
49. Do you snore? i dont know. i've never been able to ask anyone.
50. Do you drool in your sleep? i dont know
51.Do you lick your envelopes or use a sponge? i either lick them or lick my finger and rub it along the thing.
52. Do you keep a journal? kind of. not really right now.
53. Do you like onions? no
54. Do you like cotton candy? yes
55. What instruments can you play? oboe. recorder hahhah. the xylophone algsdhklg
56. Do you like to dance? it depends on whose company i am keeping
57. Do you like to sing? again, it depends who i'm with. i like to sing in the shower really loudly, but only when no one's home.
58. Are you any good at it? no
59. Do you like to talk on the phone? usually not.
60. Do you like where you live? yeah, but not forever.
61. Are you organized? it depends. some stuff yes. some stuff... not yes.
62. Do you sleep with socks on? no
63. Are you shy? a lot of the time. it depends.
64. Do you talk to yourself? not really.
65. Are you a morning person? no
66. Are you a virgin? yes
67. Are you proud of that? i guess so
68. Do you believe in reincarnation? yes
69. Do you believe in God? it depends
70. Do you believe in ghosts? yes
71. Do you believe in bigfoot? not really. i never thought about it.
72. How old do you wish you were? older
73. What will you name your kid(s)? i dont intend to have kids
75. Have you ever thought you were gonna die? i think so but i cant really remember. is this the same thing as thinking about suicide? i've done that plenty.
76. Where do you wanna go? somewhere
77. Where do you see yourself going? nowhere

Wednesday, July 10, 2002

The Completely Pointless Personality Quiz
The Completely Pointless Personality Quiz

Find your emotion!

Find your emotion!

Which Kiss are You?

Which Kiss Are You?

Where is my Mind?
You're smart, shy, and often nonsensical. You have dreams of being famous, and you're quirky enough that you just might pull them off. Some would call you a genius, others would call you insane, but in reality you're pretty well-adjusted. Take a vacation once in a while- it'll help take your mind off of your troubles.
Which Pixies song are you?

Sunday, July 07, 2002

nickandjerel: i couldnt imagine having a comdom without a tshirt
katherine dohan on uniforms:
kat09987: i think ill wear sweater vests to school next year, over my snazzy white polo shirt

Saturday, July 06, 2002

Laylee2000: and i bought 2 superfuzzy black piloows today
Laylee2000: like your dog. only in pillow form

Friday, July 05, 2002

i'm a naughty girl.
again i can't stop thinking about suicide.
about the perfect timing.
about who will find me first and i can see their faces.
i know they'd get over it.
i have planned sixteen different set-ups.
but i still don't have that kind of courage
and i'm already disappointing them enough.
no, it's not your fault
that the subject has even come up in my head again.
it's me.
my need for someone.
it doesn't even matter
that you brought forth a few tears
hidden for so long.
or that you think it's funny
how upset i get
over something that you can't see.
don't worry though.
right now i'm too tired to be dangerous.
good night.
you won't remember anything tomorrow.

Which Willy Wonka character are you?

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