Tuesday, August 21, 2007


--i got my motherfucking driver license two weeks ago.
--i am single for the first time since 2004. so far, i feel surprisingly good.
--on thursday, i am moving into my first apartment, on jackson avenue in new orleans. i will be living with brandon, mallory, and py. (obviously, this is an arrangement of lunacy.... i suppose it's a long story, not meant for tonight.)
--i am a liar, a coward, and a thief. and many other things.
--i need more confidence.
--i start school in slightly less than a week and i'm scared as hell.
--as excited as i am about living in new orleans, i'm sort of terrified to go back. the place is a black hole.
--i work minimum wage. however, my parents still pay for stuff like school, insurance, etc. they are awesome.
--i have not paid for a haircut since december 2005, and it is amazing. some weeks i feel like getting it cut every day, and i talk somebody into doing it! the stuff's also sort of run together with three or four different colors, i'd say.
--i love cats and cat folk... but i'm pretty friendly to dogs as well.
--in general, i hate most and love few. wow, though, those ones are so great. it is astounding.
-katherine and i have spent the summer working on a film, which is finally coming into true fruition. so many amazing people have donated their time and talents, we are so lucky to know them all.
--trying to be two places at once is impossible, but missing one causes so much strife and disrupts all the balance. does this make any sense? katherine gets it.
--i want to make music in a shanty chant.
--tomorrow i have an appointment with a man who is going to up the dosage of my antidepressants. how strange to ask for something that i don't even want.
--"happiness is the most insidious prison of all." i think i believe that statement. (a quote from v for vendetta)
--cancer is terrifying. sickness is everywhere.
--death still seems like the best option most times.
--blogging is extremely hard these days. sometimes i start posts and never finish them... but i feel like communicating with the vast expanses. despite all the past run-ins i've had with its hidden dangers.... even the most recent one. but! i feel like dealing big right now. take it!
--this is the beginning of a new time.

listening to: garbage - wicked ways