Sunday, October 06, 2019

failed eulogy

mary burns passed away. brett called me and told me yesterday morning. i've been having a lot of thoughts and feelings about it - stronger yesterday and i relaly wanted to write them down - but i didn't have time between gigs and movie work and actually relaxing with morgan and kat for a bit.
so i am trying to wirte today.
part of me wants to share whatever this is going to be.... but that already puts a lot of pressure on it. so i am just writing tha down to get teh idea out of my head (hopefully) and let that part of my brain shut up so that i can just feel what i'm feeling and try to say it. (but i did kind of have an idea for a frame with a title, so i'll try starting from there and see how that goes.)


when you're too broke to afford therapy, you instead imagine what a therapist MIGHT say to you, should you actually have one.
at least, this is something i sometimes do.
at least, this is something i am doing right now because i am at a loss for words and i'm having trouble feeling through this. (())
feeling lost for words
feeling loss
mary burns has died. how do we make any sense of this?

when you're too broke for therapy, you seek community. you seek comfort and compassion.

i remember open mics at java cabana as my first exposure to real live poetry, to new political ideas, and to a small arts community i didn't know existed. those thursday nights were my initiation - that shared microphone