Tuesday, December 28, 2004

hey dude

this is just a hello from my cousins' computer. i am in georgia. the sun is setting and the reflection in the not-pond is very pink and lovely. i'm alive. so are you. i hope everyone is having a great holiday break and will continue to do so. they're stealing me.

listening to: shitty madtv for some ungodly reason

Friday, December 24, 2004

have fun with my family and friends

the minnie proctor show last night was amazing. maybe i can post a little bitty sound clip of it for you later since so many people missed it. i'll have to ask for some permission though. and it depends on how my little files came out.
this morning my family celebrated christmas because we're leaving town later this afternoon. even if it didn't feel much like christmas, the night before was sort of normal. i crawled in bed around 1:15, couldn't sleep, phone call from 1:45 to 3:20, couldn't sleep until maybe 4, and then only got about 3 hours. woke up freezing cold and harassed the parents until they got out of bed. it was nice and classic. i made out with new pajamas, nail clippers, a beaded purse, a cLOUDDEAD album, frank black francis, the yeah yeah yeahs dvd, a russian movie i've never heard of called house of fools, and a muthafuckin laptop. hell yes. i am very happy about these things. and now i'm uber-hyper.
check out this creepy shit... stalkers scare me.

listening to: the moldy peaches - i wanna be a hulkamaniac

Thursday, December 23, 2004

i wanna have all the toys

tonight is the minnie proctor show at the full moon club, in the upstairs of zinnie's east on madison. if you can manage to escape your house, come witness the mad skillz of becca, hunter, and paul. i recommend it. risk your life to support the music.

listening to: ringo starr - i wanna be santa claus

Wednesday, December 22, 2004

he move me and the chains changed

today is nothing but ice and misery. i'm trying to make myself work on applications, but i'm a whiny baby and i need someone to hold my hand and tell me what to say. i've been avoidantly making charts to look like i've accomplished something and tittering through things i've already finished. when i stop caring altogether, i snack on wheat thins stacked with monterey jack cheese, sip some DP, and listen to kristin hersh. i've become enthralled (again) with her early Muses work. i live in cycles. we used to be funny. one day we'll find it again.

listening to: throwing muses - cry baby cry

Tuesday, December 21, 2004

slide slide slippity slide

who the fuck knew chan marshall could sing r&b style hip hop? man. i'm impressed with this song... but it's true that i'm either going to marry prince paul or dan the automator. it's just obvious now.

listening to: handsome boy modeling school feat. cat power - i've been thinking

Monday, December 20, 2004

just the way the operation made me

i am eating cheez-its. i love cheez-its.
today was difficult but i bought a chai. it wasn't as good as normal. that's too bad.

listening to: the dresden dolls - girl anachronism

Sunday, December 19, 2004

cmon back to me right now

it's really late. my chest aches, and i should sleep. i should finish christmas presents and shopping. i should be doing my college applications. i should finish this dr pepper.
i hate everything.
we finally got our christmas tree today. mom even started the ornaments. dad put some lights up outside too while i ate grilled cheese. LA, laylee, alice, and wenli picked me up around 1 to go get-up shopping at victoria's secret in peabody place. nobody could find anything that fit except for alice. how depressing is that when you go to a store that supposedly specialize in all that mess, and only one in five people can even wear the damn sizes. that settles it. i'm only wearing custom-made bras from now on.
i bought a chai at starbucks. soon i'll implode.
we went into some clothes store that depressed me. i'm really no good at being a girl, although it was nice to pretend for a few minutes today and talking about girly things all afternoon at chick-fil-a. one day i'll either learn or just give up entirely.

listening to: the breeders - do you love me now?

Saturday, December 18, 2004

i am good enough for someone

i was late to the yuletide extravaganza because i'm a mess, and i didn't find a real ride. so i bummed with mouse and morgan to the paradiso where they were seeing a movie and then walked to alice's house. i missed the entire concert part. i did get a couple bagel bites during the after party though. katherine drove me home. we blasted "killing in the name of" and looked hot and punk-ass in our formal wear. then we watched ashlee simpson music videos. what is life?
i figured i would post the rodent carols just for old time's sake. and by that, i mean i want to come back and laugh at them in a year.

to the tune of The Christmas Song, aka Chestnuts Roasting On An Open Fire
Hamsters singing in a rodent choir
I didn't know your mother sews
Yet on each paw, there's a glove made of straw
Cold hamsters... we are

Hamsters stacking up the Yule-logs higher
Or else we will soon be froze
The sticks are a-burnin', but soon we will be learnin'
Not to stand too close to a fire.

Hamsters toasting at an open fire
We feel danger coming close
Move out of the way or a price we will pay

Hamsters roasting on a funeral pyre
We are feeling rather poached
Flames lick my fur as I turn to ember
I'm a goner....
I'm toast.

to the tune of O Little Town of Bethlehem
O little mouse of Bethlehem
Tempted by the brie
Satan's wish did lure you in
Under the Christmas tree

As you were getting closer,
You saw the darker side
You thought you ordered a soul mate
You got a mail order bride

O little mouse of Bethlehem
O so sadly decieved
The Christmas spirit is gone away
No longer in pine leaves

But before you turn to druid
You must look closer now
I see a sticky fluid
Flowing from evergreen boughs

O Hallelujah, Hallelujah
This tree is for real!
It's not plastic or operatic
It's not a Wal-Mart deal

Drawn by tree of knowledge
O you can have it all!
It smelled good from over here
But that was Eve's downfall

O little mouse of Bethlehem
You finally found the source
The cheese is now within your grasp
A fitting final course


listening to: throwing muses - solar dip

Thursday, December 16, 2004

i'm in the fire

school's finally out but nothing feels different. at least not yet. we took our last exams today, then alice, brock, and i went to starbucks where i had my millionth chai. brock went home feeling sick, i came home to sink into a sleep. however katherine called and saved me. we talked on the phone before she came over and we just hung out a while. seeing her is so great, and i am so lucky to have such a great friend. then we went to dinner with my family at bosco's. having katherine there was a nice addition to the conversation. we're a silly family at restaurants, i guess. my mom told ridiculous baby stories and got loud and hysterical. i love it. and i love creme brulee. we came home, and katherine and i wrote some silly rodent-themed parodies of christmas songs which will be performed tomorrow at the yuletide extravaganza at alice's house at 2pm. be there babies.

listening to: pj harvey - snake

Wednesday, December 15, 2004

The higher he's a-getting

i just got home from studying english with katherine. she is a flatterer. i don't mind because i love her company. i have my last two exams tomorrow and i obviously should be studying right now. english won't be too bad, but i'm worried about government. whatev, mang. gather ye rosebuds and shit.

Tuesday, December 14, 2004

feel so tongue-tied

i should be studying. whyyyyyy can't i get up?

listening to: radiohead - myxomatosis

Monday, December 13, 2004

just keep telling me

school's almost out. things will be good soon (hahahahhahhahhahaahahahahahhahaha)
i hope i pass my exams.

Sunday, December 12, 2004

religious kodak moment

so i just went to church for the first time in years. how awkward. now i feel like i have to cleanse myself.

listening to: cLOUDDEAD - son of a gun

Saturday, December 11, 2004

you should be here with me

well at least i have my chai now. and little else. i don't remember why i wanted to post, but i've had the damn box open for 15 minutes. ACT is over, thank god. now all i have to worry about is my exams. not that i was worrying about ACT... whatever. i want to see a movie. maybe i'll go the machinist later.
i miss living.

listening to: darlene love - christmas (baby please come home)

Friday, December 10, 2004

tell me

today i went to ck's after school with allison, lauren, christie, elizabeth, brock, brett, and katherine. everyone was going to the library afterwards but i decided to come home early and take a nap. at 9:15 my mother called my cell phone, woke me up, and started to lecture me about how i need to call home when i'm out that long. the ridiculous thing is that both she and dad walked through the room where i was asleep and didn't see me at all. go figure. so now i'm awake and i don't want to be. it means i SHOULD be studying for ACT, rather than "oh i fell asleep, what could i do?" even though i should've been studying for this shit for weeks. i've never taken it before, and i really don't know what to expect. oh well. i guess there's nothing i can do now, and i will just do my best tomorrow. i probably won't do very well but i can't bring myself to care. is anyone else taking it? i want chai tea.

Wednesday, December 08, 2004

the rotten one

it's kind of nice that five people commented on the post i made yesterday afternoon, considering that i don't post anymore. i figured nobody would see that shit for weeks. i apologize for those of you who have continually loaded this page over the past few weeks and found nothing. there have been some crazy things going on (the blues ball, thanksgiving break, hellfire and damnation...) that i have avoided blogging about. for reasons unknown to me and all the world. anyway i don't know why i'm posting since i should be doing my physics project hahahaahahahahahah good night.

Monday, December 06, 2004

no excuses

i hate life. blogging is not only too difficult, it's really pointless right now. maybe later...?

Saturday, December 04, 2004

wish you were here. wish i was too.

compiled for me by brandon. posting the tracks so that i can get together a playlist. you don't have to pay attention.

01) the roches - damned old dog
02) kristin hersh - flipside
03) throwing muses - civil disobedience
04) the white stripes - the air near my fingers
05) richard cheese - feeling this
06) cake - where would i be?
07) the beatles - blue jay way
08) the breeders - drivin' on 9
09) kristin hersh - silica
10) the white stripes - truth doesn't make a noise
11) pj harvey - send his love to me
12) weezer - holiday
13) the beatles - all together now
14) talking heads - thank you for sending me an angel
15) talking heads - stay hungry
16) sleater-kinney - turn it on
17) the breeders - do you love me now?
18) adam green - times are bad
19) beck - atmospheric conditions
20) cat power - colors and the kids
21) billie holiday - he's funny that way
22) squirrel nut zippers - wished for you
23) janis joplin - little girl blue

Sunday, November 21, 2004

Tuesday, November 16, 2004

high in the middle

today has been very difficult. but it had to happen, and i am sort of glad that it did. now all i want is sleep but i've got pounds of homework and oodles of eggnog to drink.

Sunday, November 14, 2004

we gotta blow up those things we don't understand

look out for classic alanna weekend post. starting now!
friday: school went surprisingly well. brock was out of town, on a college visit in boston. we had senior out-to-lunch, so katherine, alice, laylee, sallis, and i went to atlanta bread company, where there were surprisingly no other white station kids. laylee ordered for me, and i love her. we talked about college, which doesn't bother me anymore. i don't know if that's a good or a bad thing. we then went to ck's for the world's fastest dessert and had to zoom back to school to make it on time. of course we hit every red light and screamed the whole way back to school. i'm convinced that our excitement is what got us back to class on time. i then had to take a math test which i feel like i did really well on. so i probably failed. all in all, the day flew by. it's amazing how much psychology brings me down. fuck that class. after school, katherine, morgan, and i came home and watched "requiem for a dream" which is an AMAZING movie. it's really intense, very well done, great score.... again, i wish saw katherine more since for some reason she's so good to watch and talk about movies with. after she went home, morgan and i went over to janelle's apartment, where she, eileen, and alex had already started the making of vegan mashed potatoes and eggplant lasagna. well technically alex was being the man and sitting on the couch. or playing with janelle's adorable kitten. so morgan and i pitched in to help and in "no time at all" (read: after several disasters) the dinner was served. we settled down on the carpet with our plastic cups of sparkling apple juice to watch "eternal sunshine of the spotless mind." finally, oh finally. months after the planning. it went really nicely, though. even if i was too stuffed to eat most of my dinner... i felt bad about that. but my body really isn't used to food, and after my massive lunch, i couldn't handle it. so janelle drove us home after that. it was midnight and i was really tired. i called brandon anyway, but he was busy. so i went to bed.
saturday: woke up at 11:30 to the sound of my mother screaming. like always. basically i worked on college stuff all day. i still don't know where i'm going, but at least i've finished filling out the common app. most of the places i'm applying to (so far) use it, so that is good. i'm so ridiculously behind on this stuff. i'm pretty angry with myself. but whatever. so i didn't feel up for going to the our own voice workshop, or to see "the incredibles" with my family. i talked to brandon on the phone for a few minutes. i think that's the only human contact i had (outside my family) all day. i don't even regret it. katherine and brett helped me a little with applications. i want to die. i go to bed around 2.
sunday: woke up at 9:30 to the sound of my phone ringing. go figure. bothered around the computer. sat on the couch and talked college with mom. listened to her and dad try to calculate how much money they're going to be paying, how much in loans. that was painful. sallis came to steal me away, and we drove around the city a little. hung out around church on the river, bumbled through downtown, ate massive sandwiches at zinnie's east, bought blue sky sodas at square foods, grabbed some hopefully helpful college stuff from sallis's house, and swang at peabody park. i haven't hung out with that kid forever, and it was quite nice. when we got home, brett was here borrowing books from my mom. we talked for a little while in my kitchen before his dad picked him up. and here i be. avoiding life.

listening to: dead milkmen - big lizard in my backyard

Thursday, November 11, 2004

because you're mistletoe

after school today, we had an honors society meeting where we made little packed lunches for homeless people. nobody could tell me exactly what place we were sending them to, which seemed kind of depressing. it also makes you think about the fact that we're only doing this one day, out of one whole year. what are these people eating otherwise? well, i put five cookies in every ziploc baggie, so that should make them happy. i've got to start volunteering at a soup kitchen or something before i fall apart from disuse.
when we had finished cookie-packing, katherine and i went to the library where we bought coffee and talked to margaret and katherine w, who volunteer there, for a little while. i think their supervisor lady decided we were distracting them, so katherine and i fled to the third floor. we nabbed window seats in the corner and had a long discussion about alanna and katherine things. i miss her a lot. i really wish we saw more of each other, because talking to her is really important to my life and well-being. this is not a joke. i think we have connective minds. we looked at some college books for about an hour, too, and katherine can even make that unscary. she helps me breathe better. my mom came and picked me up at around 7:15. who knew we'd been there so long? it was quite nice.
speaking of nice conversations, william called me last night. we talked for a very long time about the state of the world and our own selves. i miss him a lot, too, in a different way. although i wish i could talk to him more as well since it makes me feel a lot better. i remembered the feeling of may, how happy i was, how much promise life was about to feed me. i had forgotten how idealistic he is, which is amazing. i'm the same way, and lately it's been making me feel really silly and naive. it's good to know i'm not alone, i think. he is supposed to be coming back to memphis soon, and i really hope i can spend some time with him. fuck shit up. save something a little bit.
my neck and shoulders are really sore. maybe it's a sign that katherine is right-- we're the kind of people who try to carry the weight of the world.

listening to: luna - astronaut

keeps me from thinking

last night, laylee and brock picked me up at 10 to go to hi-tone for the holly golightly show. luckily, the door guy let us in, which was very good. my hands are still x-ed and i look hardcore. becca and christine arrived shortly after we did. the opening band, the woggles, didn't start until after 10:30 but they were really awesome. we danced, which we haven't done in forever, and i was very happy about that. it wore me out more than it should've. the band used the entire space of the small hi-tone and jumped off the stage and ran around and climbed on counters. it was great. they got a pretty good handful of indie kids up there dancing, which is way impressive considering the venue and our city. so i was really happy about that. after they ended, we waited around a while, but brock had to be home by 12:30 so we didn't see any of holly golightly, which really disappointed me. i would've at least liked to see a song. i hate that i spent all my money on that show. 10 muthafuckin bucks. which means no weakerthans tonight and probably no bella sun tomorrow. oh well. happiness costs way too much. tomorrow is senior out to lunch. i hope it is okay.
on the announcements this morning, coach owens came on backed by the indoor soccer team to annouce that a junior, okechi womeodu, died last night at a game. he was all choked up. seeing him like that was really weird. he's my silly ex-homeroom teacher, who brags about starring in an equadorian car commercial. my whole homeroom was in shock. i nearly cried. i am not exactly sure what happened, i heard several stories. okechi either died of an aneurism or heart failure. the school brought in some "mental health professionals" to talk to the people who were close to him. some of my teachers allowed kids to postpone tests if they were too upset to take them. and yet, none of my friends were upset or even effect by his death. i guess i've just been so sensitive and raw lately. is there something wrong with me? am i not supposed to feel depressed by this? today i was really angered by other people's happiness. i really shouldn't be posting this on my blog. sorry to everyone who is happy right now. i don't want to bring you down.

listening to: dykehouse - chain smoking

Sunday, November 07, 2004

show's over, folks

i'm partly glad to have more free time on my hands, partly relieved that i can forget all these lines, and then i'm partly anxious now that i have nothing to focus my energy on. also nothing to blame my late nights and dead days on... although i'm sure they'll keep happening. they always do. i really need to focus on getting everything done for school and college, and also get working on some new projects. as long as i always have a viewpoint to look forward to, a realistic short term goal, i'll be fine. i hope. it's the unrealistic short term goals that really get to me. i hope that things'll be all sorted out soon. right now i'm just looking ahead to thanksgiving break. i need some time to recharge. i wish for strength to all of us trying to get through a terrifyingly slow year.

Saturday, November 06, 2004

in short

today was surprisingly unawful. i debated staying home again, but decided that i need to save up my sick days. the last two periods of the day were significantly shortened because of some silly sports activity. directly after school, katherine, brock, and i went to starbucks and had a lovely talk until about 5 at which point katherine dropped me off at home. mom took morgan and i to zoe's birthday party almost immediately; her dad drove us to theatreworks; we put on a great show for a pretty big house. afterwards we had a photo call (hopefully results will be online soon...). zoe took her friend katy, morgan, and me back to her house for some barbie doll cake and naughty talk. it was a nice evening. i'm drained. tomorrow is morgan's birthday celebration, and you should come.

me and morgan-- no similiarities, right?

Wednesday, November 03, 2004

ode to joy

i've discovered that somehow in between the time my mother tried to call the cheesecake corner on my cell phone this afternoon and when i picked it up again, the damn thing mysteriously deleted its entire memory bank. so now i have no phone numbers, no more working voicemail, possibly no more text messages? not that i used those anyway, but i'm damn confused. it won't save the settings i put into it, and i haven't even attempted to rebuild my phonebook yet. it sort of puts your life in perspective when you realize whose numbers you have memorized and whose you don't. at any rate, the whole point of this post was just to alert people since i don't know if i can even get calls right now. but if you could also help me rebuild my friend brigade by giving me your numbers some time soon, i would really appreciate it. via email, slips of paper in my locker, telegram, fire brigade, etc. it don't matter...

give me dead

today at school was horrifically depressing. it started out with a chocolate donut, conversation with my great friend margaret, and a little bit of hope. it ended in depression and near-tears into a vanilla milkshake. i don't know what's more pathetic. i really can't believe that bush is president again, and i don't know what to do. we watched kerry's concession speech in pre-calculs from the couch, holding nervous hands and trying to be light-hearted about it. my shock and sadness surprise me. everybody is stirred to act somehow. eileen's rallying people to go to the "what do we do now?" type meeting at media co-op tomorrow night. allison says she wants to start something, do SOMETHING at our school, just to put something positive in the world. there's an intense need to create, to act, to believe in something greater. i'll get behind anything right now. i was looking forward to sudan awareness week, but it's mostly just that-- goddamn awareness. watching a video, having a speaker. i feel like there's so little action. i need to DO and there's nothing doing. i predict that the play this weekend will be teeming with passion. after that i'll have no direction, and i need to not feel useless. if anyone has ideas, please get me there.
i came home to my sister, who stayed home sick (half emotional, i think) on her 15th birthday. we tried to get happy with a massive dinner at pho saigon and dessert from the cheesecake corner. i like that the cheesecake man remembers me. morgan opened purple birthday presents; we wore hats, sang songs, and made merry. a strange conclusion to a weary day.
a girl in my psychology class made a depressingly humorous joke (which i've been repeating all day -- sorry) about how since bush has been reelected and he's going to get to appoint like 4 justices to the supreme court, they're going to reinstate the draft and overturn roe vs. wade. so we'll all be pregnant and in the army. i can't wait.

Tuesday, November 02, 2004

Sunday, October 31, 2004

they call it way too rowdy

i bought the new le tigre album yesterday afternoon at last chance and i'm listening to it for the second time in a row. it's really that good. as soon as i can handle giving it up, i'll loan it to anyone who wants to borrow it.
on friday, brock, laylee, and i went to wendy's after school before heading over to the school's cross country meet in order to get pyschology extra credit points. we stayed for like five seconds before christie dropped laylee off at home and took me and allison to CK's for milkshakes and fries. i swear, i need to never eat again. jenny and will met up with us there, and it was really cool hanging out with all of them. kind of a strange group, of several people i never ever see, so that was nice. we talked high school about rumors and gay boys. christie drove me home, i grabbed my costume, and we high-tailed it to theatreworks for call. everybody was sort of jittery. we had a pretty good crowd come for opening night, including my mom, alice, brock, katherine, LA, and lots of freshmen kiddies. elise showed up too, and that could not have been more awkward. she talked to all my friends and my whole family except me. as for the play, i didn't make any mistakes myself, but there were huge problems running rampant through the first act. we skipped about half an hour of the play. everybody was really freaked out during the intermission, but the whole thing was salvaged with a fucking awesome act two. sarah was too amazing. afterwards, everyone i talked to said that they'd barely noticed anything was wrong, which was very surprising. the kids wanted to eat, which was the very last thing i wanted to spend money on, but we ended up at shnuck's buying supplies for a picnic. we split the bill, and each of us only had to pay $3. we should ALWAYS go out to eat at the goddamn grocery. we headed to overton park and lounged in the grass, bathing in the light of MCA. we dined on turkey + gouda on egg bread, chocolate pudding, and hot fries. we quaffed sparkling apple juice. it was brilliant. brock drove katherine and alice home for their midnight curfew. me and LA sat around and talked for a while longer, which was special since i haven't seen her lately. i got home around 12:10 and went to sleep pretty immediately.
yesterday brett and i ran around cooper-young. i checked out the media co-op archive which he's trying to reorganize. we went by the antique store, i had a poptart lunch at java cabana. brock met up with us and we went to last chance. he bought albums by devendra banhart and stereo total. i don't even remember which ones. i'm such a bad one. afterwards they dropped me off so that i could get to theatreworks for the play, which went better last night. personally, i fucked up a couple lines. i think everybody had a moment of floundering, so the (small) audience could probably tell more easily that there were problems than on friday. how weird. because we managed not to skip anything. afterwards, i went with eileen and morgan across the street to IHOP where we ordered nothing but water and cheese sticks. they took like 30 minutes to come and they just made us more hungry. so we then ordered some fries. again, $3 dinner. LA, alice, and brett came to pick me up. they hadn't been able to find any midnight showings of "rocky horror picture show" which we were SURE would be SOMEWHERE for halloween. but apparently not. so we had the brilliant idea of playing it at media co-op, since brett has access to it and whatnot. we invited laylee and kevin, who were sitting in the parking lot when we got there. however, brett then discovered that the co-op DOESN'T have the movie in their collection like he thought, and we had to go rent it at black lodge. they were really bitchy to brett, and they wouldn't let me rent it because they said we still have a movie out on our account. which dad is positive he turned in. so we angrily trudged off to midtown video, which was closed. blockbuster was closing, but the workers told us it wasn't checked in anyway. my copy of the tape has been broken for a while, and we've never bothered to replace it. we called laylee and kevin, who were tired and decided to go back to kevin's dorm until we found the movie. videos, movies, and more AND hollywood video were closed. we ended up driving all the way out to laylee's house and borrowing her dvd. nobody was upset since we had an extra hour from daylight savings time, and we were listening to pixies. which was awesome and creepy and halloween-appropriate. we finally got back to midtown after a goddamn hour and a half of looking for that fucking film. we called laylee and kevin, but they'd fallen asleep and didn't feel like going out anymore. and although we'd made several calls and shouted to different people on the street, no one else showed up. so the four of us munched on a box of 3 dozen donuts and slurped on milk out of bendy straws. i only remembered a few of the audience participation things, but i could sing all the songs and we all did the time warp, so that made up for everything. LA had never seen it, and it's her new second favorite movie. so. that was successful. i got in at 2:15 (only because of daylight savings) and went to bed.
this morning i woke up at 9:15 to the vibrating of my cell phone under my head. brandon and i talked briefly about our weekends, but he couldn't really talk long because he was just checking in. i'm trying to think of something fun to do for halloween but i have no ideas. if anyone knows something happening before 6:45 and/or after 10:30, please let me know. or come to the play haha yeah right. there will probably be no audience tonight. which is why, if you're not busy, you should check it out. 8pm, $8.
happy halloween.

listening to: le tigre - viz

Friday, October 29, 2004

just what god needs

everybody everybody! come see "the passion of joni dark" at theatreworks this weekend and next weekend. 8pm, $8. we open tonight. we need your support. and your sweet loving. mental, social, and political conciousness! do it up!

listening to: tori amos - crucify

Thursday, October 28, 2004

bounce boo

aghhhh!!!! i want to sleep. i have lots of homework. but i am drinking apple cider. i desperately want more cookies, but i've eaten far too many today. good god. good night.

Wednesday, October 27, 2004

you've changed some

i hate wednesday. although we did have a meeting of the paranormal club today, which was quite exciting. an alien-abductee speaker guy came from out of town just to talk to brett and katherine's little club for about an hour. he was a nice man.
yesterday i got to talk on the phone to both katherine and brandon, respectively, which was really nice because i haven't gotten to talk to either of them much lately. i need contact.
rehearsals are going okay. we open friday, and i hope hope hope we'll be ready. last night i got home from theatreworks, did like really easy german homework, and fell asleep with the light on. which sucked. luckily it was the only homework i had to turn in all day. unfortunately, i don't know if i can catch up with all the shit i'm failing to do every night. i'm so draiiiiiined. if anyone has any pick-me-up type advice, for de-drainage, please let me know. i'm dyin, babies.

Sunday, October 24, 2004

i'm having problems

last night i had nothing else to do so i tagged along with morgan and mouse to the movies. we saw i heart huckabees again, which wasn't my first choice obviously, but it was still great the second time. that's a hard test to pass in my book. so. i got home and had a real conversation with brandon for the first time all week. then i talked to margaret and she said she wasn't feeling great, that she was just going to go home and sleep. i hope she had a good birthday anyway though. now i'm in an awful mood, i don't want to go to rehearsal, and i don't want to do homework. i want to sit. and rot.

listening to: a tribe called quest - 8 million stories

Saturday, October 23, 2004

i'll tear my heart out before i get out

last night i saw i heart huckabees with family as proposed. it was soooooo great, and i recommend it to everyone. it made me love movies again. when i got home, i talked to becca on the phone for a little bit but both of us were too tired to go out. i hung out for a little while before going to bed around 11. how pathetic is that? the phone woke me up at about 1:45 when brandon called, but we only talked for like 30 seconds or something like that. today i woke up earlier than i planned and just lay in the bed for a few hours, practicing patheticicity. by the time i got up, there was only time to have a quick breakfast and lounging session before rehearsal. which actually went really well. i didn't use my script at all and i only fucked up the easy scene. i always know i'm learning my hard lines best when i start fucking up the easy stuff. afterwards, me and morgan and dad roamed cooper-young putting up posters for the show, which, by the by, opens next weekend. everyone should come. i'll remind you later, but mark your calendars now. for info about the play, you can go to this site.
if anyone wants to go to the film festival, or do anything, or see the ramones documentary with me and margaret at midnight (it's her birthday!) they can call me at 4938900. i'm that desperate. i just posted my phone number on my blog. i've fallen into blog hell. well i have no more shame. i apologize. please love me.

listening to: smashing pumpkins - today

Friday, October 22, 2004

i'm so ronery

anyone up for a movie night? i might be seeing i heart huckabees with the fam tonight. although i do want to see that, i'd rather go with friends. also, the indie memphis film festival down at muvico begins today. they're showing a ramones documentary at midnight. plus i'm just plain lonely. call me?

Thursday, October 21, 2004

and baby, my heart's been breaking

i shouldn't be here. i am a bad woman. i am eating cheerios. i have pounds of things to do. i guess i'm off. the next two or three weeks are going to suck ass. god damn.

Wednesday, October 20, 2004

question 3

since when do we have rehearsal tonight?! god damn.

question 2

have you ever heard a song you've known for years in a different context and sort of fallen over? it's absolutely insane. you know you'll hear it again like you used to, and you might not want to. what a feeling.
"oh come child, come rescue me..."

listening to: cat power - cross bones style


do i look like a pretzel to you? huh. what an interesting proposition. if i could spend the rest of my life as a big salty pretzel i could be happy. i'd be one of those soft ones, i think. i would tear easily.
my knees are bruised.

Tuesday, October 19, 2004

quite simply

i am NOT happy that this is the third post i've written since i got into town. i'm NOT happy that this is the second time i've had to write it. and i'm NOT that my college entry was longer than my main one. that's just wrong! i can't live with it! so. i'm going to write more about voodoo ask soon as i get the chance. ask me anything, i'll answer truthfully. let's fuck shit up.


as you can see, i COMPLETELY forgot to mention college visiting. i guess it feels like a very very small portion of my trip, although it was supposedly the main reason i went at all. and i know how you guys are about these things. you gotta know! so. dad and i attended loyola on friday and tulane yesterday. of the two, i definitely prefer loyola. even if it is catholic. it's more personal, and the campus is smaller and nicer than tulane. at loyola, before the tour started, each prospective student and parent met with a separate admissions consuelor to give us an overview of the school and talk about our chances of getting into the school and what major we're thinking about. tulane showed a video and gave us soda. tulane intimidated me a little, although they do have very nice facilities, but their tour guide was boring and seemed less informed than the loyola girl. what can i say? i'm a simple girl. plus i saw more interesting kids at loyola. and i'm sure it didn't help that we went to tulane on my last day in new orleans after i'd gotten very little sleep. i was really sore from the concert and walking around with dad all afternoon in the rain at the damn riverwalk, which is a big ole mall sitting right on the mississippi. i hate it. and at tulane we were walking all over a much bigger campus than at loyola, where we got a better look INSIDE buildings, classrooms, the library, and lived-in dorms. so tulane's tour was less thorough and shorter than loyola's. still, through the whole thing, i kept trying to make myself like tulane more since i know it's such a good school and everything i saw there was so nice. but i was in a shitty mood and it just really wasn't for me. the end.

it's my voodoo working

just got back from new orleans and the voodoo music experience. since we all know i've had repeated problems with confidentiality and the internet in the past, i'm not going to repeat the sex/drugs/rocknroll version here. you'll have to ask me for the dirty details. however, i CAN say: i had an awesome trip. new orleans is great. music is great. people are great. pixies cemented their place as my favorite band by putting on a goddamn amazing performance. brandon is a beautiful human being, and so is my dad for letting me spend as much time on my own as he did. and brandon's friends are fucking great. i love all of them. at this point i'm still too crazy hazy feeling to put any other sorts of general thoughts into intelligible sentences. all i want is a nap, but i've got pounds of homework to do. alas, my doves, i must away.

listening to: pj harvey - long snake moan

Monday, October 11, 2004

all in all

the weekend was very weird -- up and down and up and down and up. i'm so dizzy i can't tell how it's ended, which is probably good for now. yesterday i moped around, went to rehearsal, parked it up with LA, laylee, brock, and margaret. margaret and i ended up driving around alone for a good hunk of the night. Park is the best street in this damn city, we have decided. we found a dixie queen and had huge dipped cones. it was brilliant. i love shit and i love margaret.
i spent all of today just being pathetic in general. but i got to listen to good music while doing it, so i guess i didn't waste any time. i'm going to go to school as few days as possible in next two weeks. look out for my absence. mwahahahhaaha i'm totally going to get kicked out. i can't wait.

Saturday, October 09, 2004

bipolar bear

i can feel today beginning to suck. it's not a good feeling to have on the saturday morning of a long weekend. i went to bed in a really weird mood and couldn't sleep because of that and an awful stomachache. i woke up at 6:30 to the sounds of a dying stereo, making god knows what kind of noises. i sort of got back to sleep but dad woke me up when he bumbled through the room trying to find a comic book. i've wasted my whole morning. i'm eating scrambled eggs. i'm going to spend the next hour attempting to memorize lines i should've learned days ago. i'll spend three hours at rehearsal doing the same things over and over again. and then i'll come home. and sit. someone should call me at 4pm to make my evening nice. i dare you.

Friday, October 08, 2004

i'm not alone with these stars on me

i barely remember school, so there's no reason to even mention it. zoe picked me up and i spent the entire lovely afternoon with her. i absolutely stuffed myself full of reese's cups, coffee, gum, sprite, bubblegum, apple juice, and a meal at the cupboard consisting of mac & cheese (i had a craving in government today), chicken, and cornbread muffins. sweet lord. i'm so fucking stuffed i can't even move. we hung out at a party at her dad's gallery downtown for a bit. that always fascinates me. art feels so alien to me, although i love it. i like to look at pieces without knowing how they're done. artists would probably slay me for such blasphemy, but i can't help it. i apologize in advance. we went back to zoe's beautiful home and watched a lovely mexican movie called like water for chocolate which was very well shot, even if it felt incredibly long and drawn out. i liked the magical aspect of it. i'm such a sucker for a good fairy tale. at any rate, it was a very nice surprise of an evening. although now i feel totally bloated like a beached whale. aoigighghe. fortunately, i'm wearing nothing but my granny's old pink silk nightgown and it's as though i'm about to slide away. i could really use a cigar. any 18-year-olds up for doing me a favor?
i feel very guilty that i have not yet memorized my lines. oh well, pleanty of time tomorrow!
the hairct offer still stands.

listening to: throwing muses - mr. bones

Thursday, October 07, 2004

i know you know

anybody want to cut my hair this weekend? i'm dead serious. whoever shows up with a pair of scissors and a couple of eyeballs is free to snip away. first come first serve.

listening to: eisley - telescope eyes

home again

blaghhhh. i've got a constant headache, except for when i'm lying down. in the dark. with no noise. i'm okay right now because i just got up, but soon it'll be back. i've had this shit for 2 days now and i'm sick of it. how do you get rid of the eternal headache?

Sunday, October 03, 2004

always on the...

another weekend comes to a close, and i have nothing to show for it, other than being about 20 times grosser than i was before. i stuffed my face with donuts, lard cookies, and coffee for the entirety of friday. i haven't done much better since. eblagioghe. i should be studying for math. i did three practice problems, is that enough to barely pass the test?

listening to: landing - fluency of colors

Saturday, October 02, 2004

"we just can."

tonight i watched "the graduate" with my family. it is hysterical and amazing. what a damn great movie.

listening to: har mar superstar - cry 4 help

get in the zone of positivity

yesterday fluctuated between bad and good too many times for me to count. it ended well, though, because i got to go out to coffee with margaret. i never ever get to see her, and i love the girl to death. however, i'm grounded so i can't go out this weekend. oh well. somehow i don't mind that much.

listening to: a tribe called quest - excursions

Thursday, September 30, 2004

senior out-to-lunch

have we decided yet where we're going? can someone clue me in? i'm totally lost this week.
fuck it.

Wednesday, September 29, 2004

ain't too proud to beg

anyone want to buy scribbler patronages from me? please say yes. if you give me $10+ you get a free copy. plus my eternal love. i'll make you cookies.

Tuesday, September 28, 2004

good thing we travel well together

compiled for me by brandon when he went home. posting the tracks so that i can get together a playlist. you don't have to pay attention.

01) interpol - leif erikson
02) radiohead - talk show host
03) cat power - cross bones style
04) beck - sing it again
05) diane izzo - lavender street
06) adam green - bleeding heart
07) sublime - slow ride
08) talking heads - girlfriend is better
09) kelis featuring nas - in public
10) julie ruin - stay monkey
11) kimya dawson - nobody's hippie
12) andrew bird - lull
13) myshkin - birds of a feather
14) the moldy peaches - goodbye song

Monday, September 27, 2004

you're so cute when you're sedated

so i'm told.
i had a horrible day.
i might break from blogging for a while... i haven't decided yet.

listening to: interpol - PDA

Sunday, September 26, 2004

we wait for our plans to come true

this is one of those weekends that i really don't want to be documented, through blogger or otherwise. i guess it was important in some ways... but guess what? you don't get to hear about them. i leave you with but one final discovery this evening:
i could live on mac and cheese.
(and if you just GOTTA have more juicy tidbits from my life, you can read my post from a week ago which i finally finished.)

listening to: throwing muses- serene

Thursday, September 23, 2004

before i die...

i LOVE that LA has been playing pixies in her car nonstop. i'm so very proud. tonight was the scribbler potluck dinner thingie, which was awkward at first but in the end, more entertaining than i thought it would be. i'm going to go see what homework i have to do, and try to avoid all of it. i haven't done a cent of stuff at home this week, so why stop now? i'm going to fail all my classes anyway. bwahahaha. i am sooooo full of food and people chow. holy god.

Wednesday, September 22, 2004

women continue to resist and persist

i love ani difranco. unfortunately, i don't love quite a few of her fans. people are so annoying, and i swear they're getting worse. still, the show was amazing.

Tuesday, September 21, 2004


i've decided i really have to go to college at columbia in chicago because look what i could major in: motherfucking SOUND. do you know how great it would be to say "yes, i am a sound major." oh lord. i'm going to explode.
so i'm supposed to be finding kimya dawson (1/2 of the moldy peaches) a place to play here on november 2. if anyone knows how to go about booking a show or who to contact, could they please let me know? this is very important to me, seeing as kimya dawson is a genius and i need her in my life.
tomorrow is ani difranco. i need to go get feministic and listen to some rage. if anyone needs tickets, the only place to get them now is at the cat's in cordova. brock has to go pick up mouse's and eileen's from there tonight, if i'm not mistaken, and if you'd like him to do the same for you, give him a call.
on saturday morning while i was sound asleep, my father purchased his and my tickets for voodoo, without my knowledge. so the buying-in-one-big-clump thing is out.... whether for good or ill, though, the man is definitely going. so if you need him to talk to your parents and convince them to let you go because he's obviously a very qualified chaperone, he'll do the do. also, i'll definitely be making a college visit, although i'm not sure what day. so if you can't be there for that, we need to make other ride arrangements. let's do it up. i'm REALLY REALLY REALLY excited!!!!!

listening to: julie ruin - love letter

Monday, September 20, 2004

i don't like mondays

today was one of the worst mondays. it felt like the week should be much farther along, and it was really hard to remember that brandon was here just yesterday. he's barely been back home for 24 hours. i wish he wasn't there. nothing makes sense. i'm really unhappy and uncomfortable, and i hate talking about it. today i decided that i would like to be a more private person, but knowing me, it probably won't work out.

listening to: sublime - get ready

Sunday, September 19, 2004


i've just had an absolutely crazy, very great, yet very surreal 6 days. tuesday brandon got here at about midnight, and we sort of accidentally stayed up all night. his family, who were also evacuating new orleans and heading to memphis, got into town at 5:30am and came to escort him to the house of the friend they were staying with. the plan was for him to stay there until his family left on friday, and then hopefully stay with my family for the weekend. however, as brandon found out 45 minutes later on wednesday morning, this home for refugees was also being occupied by another new orleans family, and was located in olive branch. therefore, brandon showed up at my house after school and never left. thanks to my wonderful parents, who will apparently take in any stray. he, brock, morgan, and i hung out at home for a while before heading to pick up tarah and eating a lovely dinner at memphis pizza cafe. LA met up with us as well, but she and brock had to go home before tarah, brandon, and i went to play in the park and go out for dessert. brandon and i went to sonic, where i got the goddamn thickest vanilla shake of my lifetime and we sat forever listening to the tribe called quest album i had recieved in the mail that day. which is great, by the way. back at home, i did no homework and got little sleep. brandon was feeling guilty about invading our home, so as a favor to my parents, he drove morgan and i to school on thursday. he was supposed to go to the zoo with his family, but something happened and he just wasted a bunch of time driving all the way to olive branch and back out to my house a couple times? there was some craziness that happened and it turned out that he was supposed to pick us up from school, which i didn't know, and had katherine drive me home. which turned out to be nice because she got to meet brandon for real and inhale cloves with us on the patio. that was nice although i wish politics hadn't come up... that's okay because i think they still like each other. mom took me to get my new reading glasses and also to get my regular ones adjusted. when i got home, katherine had gone home, so i bunkered down to do some homework. morgan and brandon kept me company, and made sure i got very little work done. they went to pick up some backyard burgers for us, and i managed to complete six physics problems. eventually i gave up so that brandon and i could go crazy. LA came over in the middle of it to work on something for art class, and while we loved seeing her, i think she was annoyed that it took her so long to get her stuff done. morgan also was working on an art project, and i had a hard time sitting still for her to draw me. sorry, guys. i hope you both get an A from the brilliant mr. berlin. once everybody was done working, brandon and i listened to kid a and beck and had a lovely night. he took us to school in the morning, this time because our parents couldn't. he came to lunch, and i got to sort of show him off. he let me eat half of his sonic toaster sandwich, and life was good. i think he had a good time, even though lunch is so short and i felt guilty that he had to drive all the way out to school just for a few measly minutes with my posse. i tried to convince him to come to all three lunches, but he wouldn't. oh well. he had to come BACK to pick us up. morgan had to do something with ms. kitts, so while we were waiting, we sat in front of the school listening to iggy pop and smoking cloves. it was the real punk rock. when we got home, we lay around on the futon forever waiting for plans to get made. eventually we hopped in the car, turned on the fugees, and went to pick up laylee and alice. on the way we saw about 23957023575320 cops and they stuck around to make a theme of the night. it was pretty weird, but we had a really wholesome day so nobody minded. it was just damn weird. anyway, we couldn't think of a goddamn thing to do so we drove all the way back to midtown and got milkshakes from java. everything was blocked off crazy because they were setting up for the cooper-young festival. being at java was sort of depressing, but nobody really suggested leaving. we ended up buying this cd called "nose songs" by a local guy named müller who uses melodies to bob dylan songs and writes his own lyrics. we then decided we were hungry, and somehow the collective BRILLIANCE of alanna, brandon, laylee, and alice made us decide to go to molly's where we ordered literally nothing but chips, salsa, bean dip, and cheese dip. SWEET LORD. we all felt bloody AWFUL after that, as you can imagine, so we high-tailed it home. we all lay on the futon in the dark and cuddled. brandon and i listened to the cd while laylee and alice gossiped and giggled. LA finally brought don over for us to meet him at like 8 something and we dragged ourselves out of bed to rent a movie at black lodge. it took us forever, but we finally came home happy and ready with "heathers." in the middle of it, kevin showed up with motherfucking william, who was in town for his mom's birthday. we turned off the movie and talked to them for a few strange minutes before they left to explore the city's changes. we put the movie back on, and alice fell asleep quickly afterwards. it ended some time after 1am, and we drove laylee and alice back home and saw 239057352 more cops on the way. i slept allllll morning long-- brandon didn't wake me up until 12, probably prompted by my father, to tell me that i had to be at theatreworks in an hour. the first rehearsal for the show was three hours long, but it went pretty well and i had a good time. even though i was anxious about getting home the whole time. if we weren't going to miss two ensemble rehearsals for voodoo, i would've tried to get out of that one. for brandon's sake, of course. he stayed at home and watched raising arizona and rock n roll high school. back at home, we sat around on the couch for a while before heading over to the cooper-young festival. to be honest, i don't know why we went, other than to see people. i don't think we stopped at any booth for more than a minute, and we only stopped at about three. we just sort of mosied along hoping to glimpse a familiar face. we did a good job of that, but then we never really talked to anyone for that long, unless they ended up joining our procession. it was a really weird concept to even be there that way. we eventually made it into java, after latching onto brock, eileen, mouse, and some friend of somebody's who i don't know. in java we found becca, daniell, laylee, kevin, and william who we sort of sort of kind of attempted to make future plans with, but did a horrible job. brandon and i got really hungry but didn't want to eat at the festival. with yet another craving for pizza coming on, we grabbed morgan and high-tailed it over to memphis pizza cafe where we had a strange meal because i made morgan feel to guilty to buy anything since she'd forgotten money. i'm a horrible person and i'm sorry. then she had to go home to work or something? we dropped her off back at home. we went on a quest for greenery and ended up on the metal floor of peabody park's jungle gym. so that was a failure, but we had managed to enjoy ourselves nonetheless. i love the sound of trains going by. we then rushed to studio to see garden state, which i had already seen, but brandon hadn't and he loved it. i was really glad. plus it was sort of a perfect goodbye movie. at home we listened to julie ruin and cat power before going to bed way too late. we woke up at 7:30 and layed around for a while in my tent. we went to breakfast at IHOP and pretended to be a pair of happy collegiate artists taking joy in life's simple pleasures-- coffee and cigarettes. it takes me forever to eat so we were there for an hour or so? i apologize to everyone who has ever had to take a meal with me. back at home we had a second anti-climactic ending to our surreal little venture. we sat around for a while burning cds. i mean come on. but seriously, folks, it was a good time. brandon left at about 1pm, rolling away towards union inside a round, green little car. he didn't look back, and i couldn't look on. i went with the family to see sky capitan of the world tomorrow which was a very silly, but very beautiful movie that took my mind off things until i got brandon's home-safe call. new orleans is still above water. it didn't even rain.

listening to: godspeed you black emperor! - sleep

Tuesday, September 14, 2004


change that 3am to 12?


today at 5pm louisiana state university closed classes for the week. today at 6:20 brandon ledet called to tell me he was on the interstate heading for a city called memphis. today at approximately 3am, a tremor of happiness will shudder through your dreams.

Monday, September 13, 2004

winkin, blinkin, and nod

these friends did not visit me last night. i haven't slept in what feels like six years. i'm about to go take a nap though. brett and i stayed up all night talking about who knows what, and now we're going to become chimney sweeps. it's fucking brilliant. brandon and i are expectantly awaiting hurricane ivan. i can't think straight enough to write this post right now. gwahabaha.

Sunday, September 12, 2004

it ain't no fair to be this worn out

you said it, ben.
i just decided i want to drink like 6 dr. peppers today. it's going to be great. i have lots of work to do that i can't bring myself to do. i want to die. thus, caffeinated assistance.

listening to: lucero - in lonesome times


auditions are at 4:30 today. at theatreworks. be there.

in the springtime of his voodoo

we REALLY need to discuss plans for the upcoming voodoo music fest before it's too damn late to buy tickets and shit! i want to get this together so that we can do things like convince people's parents to let them go and get a place to stay in new orleans and all those kinds of things.
1. who wants to go? we need a head count to know how many people we have to accomdate for.
2. who will drive? my dad has volunteered, and although i'd rather go without him, it will probably help the case of many of you kids whose parents wouldn't be too happy about us going unchaperoned. brandon and LA also volunteered on separate occassions to drive... are you still willing? could you make it happen? this is imperative.
3. how many days do you want to go? one day is $40. i'm sorry this is so expensive, but think about all the great bands you'll be seeing. most of them are on saturday, this is true. if you only want to go on saturday (or if, like alice and katherine, you only have time for that) we will have to make different arrangements for that.
4. i think my mom wants me to use one of my school excused college-visiting days and college-visit, either in new orleans or on the way there. whoever i'm riding with might want to also put that on their agenda for the trip. and also it will make your parents happy.

listening to: joanna newsom - peach, plum, pear

Saturday, September 11, 2004

make the diamonds come in your hands

i'm no longer grounded, if anyone wants to hang out today.

listening to: tracy + the plastics - bury the hair

what should i not kiss?

as always, i must inform you all about the upcoming events of the our own voice theatre troupe, although i don't think i've ever encouraged someone to actually do that shit because of these little posts. oh well. to be honest, i only know that it's even happening because of my dad. i can't find any online confirmation that the auditions are even happening, but since my dad is a board member of the group, i trust him. SO without further ado:
The Passion of Joni Dark
Theatreworks, 2085 Monroe on Overton Square
Saturday and Sunday afternoon (times unknown as of right now. call me and i'll let you know.)
the play requires LOTS OF KIDDIES since it's the story of joan of arc set in a modern teenage psych ward. i promised i would bring friends. these plays are really fun! you will meet new people! you can goof around! stage fright isn't even an issue since the theatre is so teeny tiny. an our own voice show don't require a lot of time commitment, and the director will be REALLY understanding if you have to miss rehearsals. you'll only have a couple practices a week up until production week. it's great. pleeeeeeeeeeeease try to come. auditions are really fun, even if you decide not to do the play. the entire idea of an oov audition is for the actors to see if the show is something they actually want to do. and you will have fun. please come.
sorry for the desperation.

listening to: belly - red

Friday, September 10, 2004

food for thought

Lordpook1 (10:57:40 PM): cuz shes 14 has no freedom yet and i am a wild 16 year old with a needle full of turpentine stuck up my dick and a mouth foaming with semen and crack cocaine

listening to: vic chesnutt - in my way, yes

Thursday, September 09, 2004

sore throat again!

i want to die. i have lots of homework. i shouldn't be online. i'm leaving now. hope everybody had a great day.

Wednesday, September 08, 2004

tired eyes

last night i fell asleep doing physics. dad came in and woke me up, i pushed my homework off the futon, and went to sleep. today i missed two tests, but i don't care. i feel a lot better, although my eyes are all dilated from going to the eye doctor again. i did get my new glasses and i can see a good deal better, but everything's still weird from the dilation.

Originally uploaded by elevatorlady.

they look completely back, but the frame is actually tortoise-shell patterned brown. there's green on the inside, and purple on the edges. they're very odd, and i'm still getting used to them. these are the biggest glasses i've ever had. they're only my third pair, but still.

Tuesday, September 07, 2004

sweet jesus

i just got back from a fucking 2-hour trip to the optometrist. hopefully i'll have my new glasses tomorrow, but they also found cornea damage and there's confusion with my stigmatism. it was all very horrible, and i also now need reading glasses. apparently VISION is the reason for my constant post-school headaches and why i can't focus on tests and why reading makes me tired. god damn it. i hate life.

listening to: björk - triumph of a heart

brock's birthday mix

it's been damn long enough! (changes might be made.)

01) the faint - take me to the hospital
02) the mae shi - vampire beats
03) miss kittin - meet sue be she
04) sarge - a torch
05) the dishes - french kissing
06) the butchies - trouble
07) the cure - why can't i be you?
08) tilly and the wall - reckless
09) the reindeer section - tout le monde
10) the microphones - oh anna
11) kimya dawson - the beer (live)
12) lucero - no roses no more
13) david bowie - five years
14) why? - darla
15) sufjan stevens - he woke me up again
16) sarah harmer - uniform grey
17) the mountain goats - cubs in five
18) a tribe called quest - buggin' out
19) tracy + the plastics - henrietta
20) modest mouse - i came as a rat (long walk off a short dock)
21) the dismemberment plan - the ice of boston
22) devo - beautiful world

Monday, September 06, 2004

so i'm grounded

my parents just found out that i left our family video camera in brittany's car over a month ago, and it's still at her house in mississippi. i should've told them immediately when it happened, but i thought i was going to get it back when the next time i saw her. that didn't happen and i haven't been down in mississippi to pick it up, nor have they mailed it back. so now i can't do anything ever again until the camera is back in my hands. i am not happy.

listening to: danny barker - st. james infirmary

bad ear

i'm so fucking sentimental and far too easily influenced by music. it should not be allowed to have such an effect over me. these things should not make me cry.

Sunday, September 05, 2004

we can dance and dance

so i found out that my reasons for being angry/sad about girls' night being cancelled were the wrong reasons. it turned out for the better since laylee was feeling sick last night. yesterday sallis came and picked me up in the early afternoon. we got milkshakes at java cabana, he bought the new bjork album, and he got to meet the poor nameless puppy. alice and katherine met us at sonic and we headed downtown to the memphis music and heritage festival. we only knew where one of the stages was, and it was a little late for shopping around. we watched this goofy guy play the piano, ran around peabody place, and went back to the stage where a really hysterical rap group was performing. some guys filmed us for their public access show. as we were leaving, we passed the place where becca and laylee were volunteering. we heard a REALLY great band that sounded something like andrew bird's bowl of fire. the crazy thing is that we came in during the middle of them playing "st. james infirmary." it was weird that i recognized it, being so familiar with danny barker's version, in which he adds a bunch of awesome lines and side notes. actually everyone should hear that version because it's the ultimate. it was really great, and i hated having to leave. sallis took us home, where katherine, alice, and i had a totally awesome girly night as a trio. we stuffed ourselves with cinnamon tea, popcorn, and java chip ice cream. we talked about boyzzz and morocco and great shit. we listened to lots of music and watched some music videos and rolled around on the futon. it was great. i missed seeing LA and laylee though. we stayed up till after 5am, which was a bad idea. ah well. katherine woke up at 9:30 for church. when she came home, alice and i eventually dragged ourselves out of bed and went to breakfast at ck's. i drank too many cups of coffee with sweet-n-low. something inspired me to order the paul bunyan breakfast. do not ask me why. i stuffed myself absolutely full. after a long meal, katherine took me back home. dad immediately took me to lauren's house so that we could work on our math project-- it's a powerpoint presentation for pre-calculs about fucking PEEPS. i took a nap in lauren's super-comfy bed before katherine, alice, and brett picked us up around 7 to head down to south memphis. there's really no words to describe things that i would like to say, but there's at least this: we listened to elephunk (my new favorite album) about 5 times, ate a second breakfast at ihop, found a little piece of the apocalypse, inhaled a cornucopia of chemicals, observed the loading of a barge, befriended men of the mississippi, used a crane as a jungle gym, got covered in oil and sugar, explored a man named harley's boathouse and got sexually harassed by his creepy red neck brother. president's island is my new favorite place. i love the mississippi. i love my city.

listening to: the black eyed peas - the boogie that be

Saturday, September 04, 2004

faithless, grungy, pathetic, wretched

last night all plans were somehow abandoned and alice and ended up at home alone all night. it was really great because we had time to hang out and talk and be wonderful. i absolutely LOVE that girl!!!! it was also funny because she and i were hanging out while laylee and LA were hanging out. our group of Girls was separated into the "Al" and the "La" couples. ho ho ho. i love that kind of thing. the kind of thing i do NOT love is that our girls night for this evening is cancelled. it makes me angry and sad. hopefully i'll make up for it by hanging out with sallis and katherine and alice today. hooray!

listening to: juliana hatfield - what a life

Friday, September 03, 2004

Teenage Mythology: Daphne and Apollo Revisited

This boy came quietly out of the wood work, and I was caught off guard. No one before him ever really saw me, with my unruly hair, rumpled skirt, and no trace of self-confidence. That was the life I had learned.

He stole what he could –– the minutes off my cell phone, all my days of summer, midnight in my grandma's kitchen, one desperate hug. Of course I ran. The only thing I knew to do was run. No one taught me how to be pretty, how to be loved. I became afraid to learn. Just told myself to keep my muscles pumping to keep me out of reach.

Well. I may have overdone it. I pulled back 400 miles, building the best defense: a separation of two entire states (measured by 7,877,696 people), the length of a muddy river (equaling eternity). A girl needs her space.

But he couldn't drop it. I couldn't understand why he kept pushing against my limitations, what drove him to stand as watchman of my night and day. Turns out, it was only that he knew me. He knew my legs were not long or strong enough to keep me running forever. How could I have known that he would whittle my wooden heart, gently carve away the rough places in me?

By November he was biting at my heels like an obsessive French dog, hanging on the curtain of my voice, and imagining the curl of my hip. Without my permission. I never wanted to be marked, claimed, owned. But now I look at myself, firmly planted in my sneakers and undeniably connected to some puppy of a boy. He lead me out of my darkness and pulled me into his wood. Some very needy roots sprouted out of me and met up with his –– connecting and intertwining finally at the halfway point on the brown bank of the Mississippi. My limbs fork out like awkward branches, pocked and uneven bark covering completely my milk pale skin. He places his hand on my chest to admire his craftsmanship: heart beating full and sticky with some sound resembling love.

oh please

somebody needs to come hang out with me and alice! aogpwihpghoiwe

Thursday, September 02, 2004


1. new puppy is ADORABLE. she has no name yet, but we're working on it.
2. home at the end of the world is a ridiculously bad film.
3. "five years" by david bowie is the song of the week, and may very well be the best song of all time.
4. i love my sister and her friends.
5. it really sucks that today is amelia's last in memphis.

Wednesday, September 01, 2004


morgan and mom are on their way to pick up our new cairn terrier puppy. hooray!

Tuesday, August 31, 2004

no central destination

today at school i actually had energy and a not-so-bad day. it was nice. some kid stuck me with a big piece of clear tape that read "speaks in bad poetry" which is probably not a false accusation. am i right? elizabeth, surprisingly, drove me home, and we stopped on the way for some disgusting, delicious KFC. now LA is over to do hang out and do homework because neither of us can concentrate on homework alone. this makes me happy. i want to start having homework parties all the time. nobody's ever wanted to before! i am very excited. wish us luck.

listening to: cake - long line of cars

Monday, August 30, 2004

it's too much to take

this morning we were waiting to turn left onto perkins (where school is) and we saw this really scary wreck. this guy tried to turn left when there was no way he was going to make it, so he got hit and there was lots of noise and glass and we had to get out of the car and walk through all of it to get to school through the stalled traffic. the scary thing is how easily that could happen to any impatient person at that light-- it's really ridiculous how long you have to wait there every day. it shook me up quite a bit.
the rest of the day was okay for a motherfucking monday. post-school activity was pretty nice too. christ, i refuse to believe it's really monday. i still have some homework that i should be tending to... lates.


server is back!!!
i am a happy woman.

Sunday, August 29, 2004

before noon

yesterday brock came over so that we could go see home at the end of the world at studio, but he was a little late and i realized i didn't have the money for a movie anyway. so we watched before sunrise on my tiny, awful tv. in the middle we started talking and morgan came in for a long time, so we finished the movie about an hour later than we expected to, at 3:30. i felt really bad because we missed janelle's street theatre thing at 2:30. i miss her a lot. but brock and i loved the movie so it was sort of worth it. we talked to my mom a little bit about it, and then headed out to ridgeway 4 armed with university to go see before sunset. at first it felt much more movie, much more planned out, than the first film, but it eventually slipped into that same ease of before sunrise. both films are great and i recommend that everyone see them. but i may have loved them even more because they (especially the first one) felt really relevant right now. but anyway. brock and i came back home to eat something. we talked about renting another movie, but that seemed a little much. so we sprawled around on the futon and made rice krispie treats. morgan and brock started talking degrassi, so i escaped into the den and watched a little pulp fiction with the folks. unfortunately, they were showing it on encore, with all the profanity dubbed over, in full-screen, with commercials and little ads popping up at the bottom of the screen. i really, really, really hate tv. morgan and brock came in and turned on damn noggin. i admit that i left the room on purpose, took on my goddamn contacts, and fell asleep in my tent with the light on. it was barely 10:30. i'm a wimp. brock left me a nice note on my blinds, though. at 12:30, brandon called and woke me up. we only got to talk for 20 minutes but it was still nice. afterwards, i called william with my free long-distance on weekend nights. i've been wanting to talk to him for a long time, but after i got that massive phone bill, i was nervous to use lots of moneys. but i got to talk to him for a solid 45 minutes and it was really nice. he's been so busy, doing lots of things. he dispelled the rumor about him and cherie getting married to buy a house... they'd made a joke in frustration about money for college, saying that if they got married, college would cost less. i hate not hearing things directly from people because of all this fucking twisting around that things go through. at any rate. i woke up far too early -- before anyone else in the family. serves me right for going to bed so damn early. i wash sorting laundry and i found brandon's hulk bandana. it's weird how it's taking me so long to find all the things he left. thank god i'm never giving them back.

Saturday, August 28, 2004

just a thought

i might delete my comments again because they're slipping into unuse. any protestors?

Friday, August 27, 2004

god damn internet

today wasn't too bad at school. laylee gave me her turkey sandwich at lunch. and although i got back two horrible test grades, i managed to stay in a pretty good mood. life is good because:
1) kraftwerk in german class
2) meg and i planned a wes anderson party
3) voodoo music fest
after school, brock played chauffer by taking kathryn home and dropping morgan off at eileen's house. he, laylee, and i searched for food in east memphis. laylee and i ended up with glorious chick-fil-a sandwiches and sweet sweet distillers in the car. is it said that brody dalle gives me chills? i think not. we came home and cuddled (and a little more) before laylee got picked up to go to gone with the wind at the orpheum with kevin. brock and i headed over to java cabana to meet up with heather (who is adorable!). aside from soothing my wicked craving for a cinnamon milkshake, i had an awesome time hanging out with her and swinging at peabody like always. she is a very cool girl who i hope to see more of. now i have settled down for a long winter's nap with a vanilla coke to my left and a stack of my father's compilation CDs to my right. i've got to enter them into a database i'm making for him as payment for an outrageous cell phone bill. i could really go for a milkshake and a black and mild, but it'll have to wait.

listening to: empress - a very small step

Thursday, August 26, 2004


so who's up for this shit? ideally, we could all drive down to new orleans for a weekend, but if parents aren't up for it, my dad has volunteered oh-so-selflessly haha to go. i think i'd just about die if we could make this work.... pleeeeeease can we try? oh my. please tell me you guys will ask your units about this. i need something to live for.

listening to: nancy sinatra - bang bang

i'll start as his knees and i'll end in his dreams

today was pretty shitty. right now i'm in a good mood for some inexplicable reason... most likely because of the nice group chat we had after school by my locker. we should do that every day because it was very nice. lunch was pretty good, also. other than that, my day was absolutely horrible. i had 3 tests in a row, all of which i failed. no joke. i felt really stupid and then i had to go to government and get even more depressed. well at least tomorrow's friday, and we're hopefully having a party at meg's house on saturday. as long as i can look forward to these things, i'll make it through today. hope everyone else is doing well.

Wednesday, August 25, 2004

cause for excitement

or... a reason to live? whatever you call it, laylee and LA are on their way to pick me up, and i am very excited. i don't know what we're doing, but i don't give a shit because i LOVE THOSE GIRLS! honestly i don't get to see them enough, and i'm in the perfect mood to do something lovely and just talk and be good. or bad... i really don't care either way, as long as i'm with those fine ladies! also i really crave a piece of pizza. and this food thing? yeah, it's getting really bad. i've got to stop eating so much. anyone care to help with my starvation? ho ho ho i'm only half kidding.

listening to: tullycraft - sent to the moon

Tuesday, August 24, 2004

everybody's parents are crazy

except mine. if anybody needs to spend some time away from home, i invite you here. i'm sure my units could handle it. in other news, i love chex mix. i've been eating entirely too much lately. also i hate riding the bus home. mostly i hate the waiting around part that we do before we even think about walking to the bus stop. if we could hang around, and then instantaneously arrive at home, i would be much happier. brett and sallis, i assign you the job of building me a portal. hop to it, lads! this week is incredibly long. i want to die. i'm watching movie trailers because the alternative is sleeping. of course, the only time i want to sleep is when i have piles of homework left. i'm done for the night, and what can i say? i require no pillow.

Sunday, August 22, 2004

laugh it up

i love lemon poppyseed bread from la baguette. and polaroids. and a boy. and vanilla coke. mmmmm.
i am obviously in a better mood than earlier. i really want to leave the house, but i cannot. yesterday i saw garden state and it was fucking amazing. everyone really needs to see that movie. it's really beautiful, and parts of it said things i needed to hear right now. so. yes. also last night i got to hang out with katherine for the first time since fucking casey jones. that is REALLY weird to realize, but it's true. and then of course i left my cell phone and purse in her car somehow. it's very weird because we got into the car and as we were pulling out of the driveway, i said "oh no i left my purse inside!" so katherine had to pay for my subway sandwich and then when we got back home, i couldn't find my purse to pay her back. it was nuts. oh well. also mouse's mom got mad at him for trying to stay out later and he's in trouble with her and i feel awful.
i have to pee. i miss everyone.
my purse has been found, thanks for your concern. today is drab and dreary. i'm in a horrible mood. happy birthday to brock, in any case.
has anyone seen my damn purse?!

Friday, August 20, 2004

deadly food stuffs

i'm eating an egg scrambles and i think it's going to kill me. it's something i found in my freezer that's possibly a year old and dead to all the world. ah well. i need energy. all i've had today is a bunch of chips with cheese sauce at el mezcal, some crackers at lunch, and a couple spoonfuls of cool whip. mmmmmm. diet, how i love thee.

Thursday, August 19, 2004

it always feels like you're leaving

love mix deux made for me by brandon. i got it in the mail yesterday, and it's quite nice. i'm posting the track list here since he didn't write it down. you don't have to pay attention.

01) phoebe carrai - bach's cello suite no. 1 (prelude)
02) throwing muses - mr. bones
03) the stooges - i wanna be your dog
04) yeah yeah yeahs - no no no
05) björk - cocoon
06) pj harvey - electric light
07) a tribe called quest - 8 million stories
08) iggy pop - tiny girls
09) violent femmes - good feeling
10) godspeed you! black emperor - sleep
11) bright eyes - pull my hair
12) throwing muses - serene

i carry you around

today a million people moved to our lunch. it's nice, but chaotic. mr. isom has been absent for two days, and i've gotten lots of time to talk to laylee, LA, and brock in psychology. i took my "waiting for godot" make up essay test today, and i did horribly. i realized halfway through that i'd set it up wrong, but... oh well. i didn't even bother trying to fix it, and just ploughed onward. maybe she will commend me for being different HAHAHAH. morgan and i rode the bus home for the first time today. it's nice being able to control what time you go home. in all, today was much better than yesterday, when i had a horrible pain in my stomach area all day. and better than tuesday, because tuesday is the worst day of the week. although yesterday i did get my package from brandon, which always makes me really happy. he sent me back my cell phone, so if you've been trying to call me for a week and a half and getting no alanna, that is why. feel free to call away now. he also sent me a really great mix. i can post the track list if anyone cares to know what's on it. anyway. everybody have an awesome friday tomorrow. oh, and on saturday, everyone must come to my house. no questions. be here.

listening to: the olympics commentators

Wednesday, August 18, 2004


listening to: the mountain goats - grendel's mother

Tuesday, August 17, 2004


i can't believe how late it is, how little i've done, and how tired i am. this is just ridiculous. i hate school. and i was supposed to enjoy this year, too. who the fuck fixed up my grand plan? i need redecorating.

Monday, August 16, 2004

a girl has got to hide away

today i stayed home from school to get over that damn fever. i was actually really annoyed to miss the first full monday of the school year, especially since i had two tests. but whatever, i would rather not infect anyone else. so anyway. i have to go "study" for my passage to india/july's people test, and debate whether or not to do friday's pre-calculs homework. (our text book's spine is actually mispelled. isn't that terrifying?)
i am eating godiva ice cream -- creamy vanilla with chocolate covered cookies and godvia chocolate chunks. mmmmmm sweet lord.

listening to: bangs - call + response

Sunday, August 15, 2004

one of my biggest pet peeves

when i'm genuinely irritated with someone, i make a sort of snippy comment, and they think i'm kidding. laughter does not make a good apology. it's a slap in the face. it only says to me that people i am close to can't tell the difference between when i'm angry and when i'm happy, and that makes me very sad.

listening to: the microphones - i love you so much!

sick day

i went to bed late last night absolutely freezing cold. i was shaking and my teeth were chattering. i sealed myself within two huge blankets but i still couldn't stop shivering. this morning i woke up absolutely burning up, even though i'd kicked off some of the covers. i have a fever and a headache, and i'm blessed with dizziness every time i try to move. i blame brock for this sickness. he complained all weekend that he wasn't feeling well, and yet he still cuddled with everybody. if you are contagious, this is a bad idea. i hope that he didn't infect anybody else, although i think i've already gotten my mother sick too. i am in a bad mood, and i've been listening to the microphones all day. i don't feel well enough to go, but everyone else should attend the our own voice workshop for the upcoming play, the story of joan of arc set in a modern teenage psych ward. theatreworks 3pm. hop to it.

Saturday, August 14, 2004

my dog will always come through

mom and dad just came home from the vet. i haven't really been blogging a lot so i don't know if i mentioned it, but our dog bonnie has been really sick for a good hunk of the summer. she got sick in georgia, while we were in orlando, and got steadily worse ever since. they finally put her to sleep tonight, because she was suffering so much and there were so many things wrong with her. she was such a sweet, noble, beautiful dog, and all will miss her.

listening to: cat stevens - i love my dog

god damn

today did not turn out as i planned. queer as folk party was okay. the best part was getting to hang out with my loves, but the show itself is pretty awful. it was sort of fun to watch, but i wasn't that entertained. the bad acting was just too distracting. at any rate, dad picked me up at 2:45 from LA's to go to brittany's. we got lost for over 2 hours. it was hell. i mapquest gave us these absolutely HORRIBLE directions, and i wanted to die. it didn't help that i had forgotten that brittany had a new address since last year's birthday party. plus i hadn't remembered to bring my cell phone or the invitation, so when i realized i didn't remember brittany's apartment number, i couldn't call home and ask mom what it said on the invitation. we drove around until we found a working payphone, but our house line was, of course, busy. for about 2 million years. we ended up going out to the east shelby county library and using their phone book and computer resources, but nothing helped. we wandered around the apartment complex for far too long. went back to circle k for their pay phone. finally got in touch with mom. she said that brittany's apartment number was 38U, but that didn't exist. she couldn't read brittany's handwriting, apparently, and told me it was apartment A. it was two hours after the designated party arrival time, and nobody was answering the door of apartment 38A. so i left a note and we hightailed it outta there. i came home and looked at the invitation, and lo and behold! there is no way in hell or on god's green earth that the real apartment number is 38A. i am very irritated because i don't have brittany's most recent phone number and she currently has no idea why i stood her up for her 18th birthday party. it's kind of funny how much this imitates the situation at her 13th birthday, or even her 10th. it's just ridiculous how all those good dates are fucked. ANYWAY i'm really irritated. sorry.

why can't i sleep in here?

yesterday marked the beginning of the first weekend of the school year. we had a cuddling party, a journey to subway, and went to see MUTZ at the caravan. the band was as great as ever, but the crowd was smaller and less rowdy than at the last show. which is really too bad. i had a good time, and i also saw dead city for the first time. i liked them in terms of performance, but i don't think i could listen to hardcore in my spare time. so sue me. i got to talk to brandon a little bit last night, which is always very good. today, brock and laylee are on their way to pick me up and watch queer as folk at LA's house. after that i am going to brittany's birthday party. hooray!

Thursday, August 12, 2004

i love hell

The Dante's Inferno Test has banished you to the Seventh Level of Hell!
Here is how you matched up against all the levels:
Purgatory (Repenting Believers)Very Low
Level 1 - Limbo (Virtuous Non-Believers)Low
Level 2 (Lustful)High
Level 3 (Gluttonous)Moderate
Level 4 (Prodigal and Avaricious)Low
Level 5 (Wrathful and Gloomy)High
Level 6 - The City of Dis (Heretics)High
Level 7 (Violent)Very High
Level 8- the Malebolge (Fraudulent, Malicious, Panderers)Very High
Level 9 - Cocytus (Treacherous)Low

Take the Dante's Inferno Test

Wednesday, August 11, 2004

So many days, so little time?

Lordpook1: we needs to have some more days
Sheisrealokay: waht are you talking about
Lordpook1: well see i was thinkin...
Sheisrealokay: oh ye?
Lordpook1: ye
Sheisrealokay: go on
Lordpook1: as i was saying...
Lordpook1: i was thinking. why haven't we had airport day? or blog life reenactment day?
Sheisrealokay: because you never said anything stupid
Lordpook1: or fountain day or sitcom day or a day where we all switch personalities
Sheisrealokay: aweopigha we already had fountain day
Lordpook1: i mean fountain day 2. you know, all the wetness of fountain day 1, but with the boredom of exhausting a theme
Sheisrealokay: why should we do that, other than the wet of course
Lordpook1: because i would be there? (is that the right answer?)
Sheisrealokay: no
Lordpook1: well what about transgender day? that seems right up our collective alley
Sheisrealokay: aweiogweopieh YES
Lordpook1: ok. i'll dress as mowgli. or babar.
Sheisrealokay: that was disney day ass
Sheisrealokay: and babar isn't even disneny weheo[weigga
Lordpook1: that's right, he's an elephant
Lordpook1: g2g
Sheisrealokay: aaa bye

Tuesday, August 10, 2004

ah, yes

enter post-school day headache. i remember these.... i'm also having blog deja vu right now. can anybody say "repeat?"
in any case, today was boring as all get out. i learned nothing, did nothing, and barely even got homework. i discovered how doubly crazy my teachers are and i'm liking some of them less now. i hope i don't go crazy. awopihgwhei. at least lunch is nice. my schedule:

homeroom - boyd (yet another year alone in the ole homeroom. but becca and laylee are down the hall.)
2nd - german 1 - herrmann (with brock, eileen, meg, christie)
3rd - physics - mccrory (i haven't talked to anyone in this class yet)
4th - AP english literature - wyatt (brock, laylee, allison. combined we overtake the awkwardness of elise being there too)
5th - AP psychology - isom (brock, laylee, LA. and lauren might TA)
c lunch with morgan, katherine, brock, laylee, LA, becca, brett, eileen, mouse
6th - pre-calculus - wall (brock, lauren, allison)
7th - u.s. government - bafford (brock, margaret)

for the most part it's pretty nice. yes, brock is in all my classes except one. i really hope we don't have a fight this year hyuk hyuk hyuk. it really sucks that i only see sallis and alice briefly before fifth period. i'm gonna have to work out my walking patterns so that i run into as many people as possible, once things settle down. i hope they don't change my schedule like last year gpowaihpwohgi. i like it how it is. anyway, i'm going to go do my amazingly tiny amount of homework. thank god for no textbooks.

Monday, August 09, 2004

the end

summer is officially over, and i have entirely lost the ability to put words together to form sentences. in short-- i had an interesting summer, sometimes very busy and beautiful and sometimes very laidback and lazy. i have yet to finish my summer reading, but the first day of school was really not so bad. i'm kind of excited about the year, actually. most importantly, my visit from brandon was a 10-day bliss. he left five hours ago, and i already miss him like crazy. i have lots more to say, but i've forgotten how to say it since i haven't used the computer since he came. hopefully i'll have some pictures to post soon and lots of things to say. goodbye, all.

Saturday, July 31, 2004

Thursday, July 29, 2004

i think i'm going crazy.

at least i have root beer to help me along. last night i started july's people which i didn't like at first and then got into further in... maybe that's just because it was 4am? who can tell these days?
today i'm cleaning my room and ACTUALLY MAKING PROGRESS. unfortunately there is nowhere to put anything and i have no clue what to do with all the shit on the floor. oh well. at least it looks a little bit better. anyone up for coming to help me? that's a joke since like three people read this shit and they're all out of town or dead. except for morgan, who is too busy cleaning her own room. le sigh. what's a girl like me to do with a full trash bag and no more shelf space?

Wednesday, July 28, 2004


so i finally finished that damned book (oh god i'm so punny.) i want to make a big long post about this week, but i have to clean and read and get ready for brandon to come. so i don't know how much i'll get to blog in the coming days.... we'll see. i'll try to keep you guys (haha) up to date.

listening to: rasputina - nov. 17dee (extended version)
taking a break from dante's infernal. about to go crazy. gahoewiahohewa.

Monday, July 26, 2004

idiot nightmare

tonight MÜTZ is playing at the caravan at 8. it's $5 and i hear you're supposed to dress silly. i don't know what my costume will be, but i encourage everybody to go. a lot of people are out of town or not speaking to me, so i probably won't really have anyone to hang out with. at any rate, please come. call me. i think i'm going to be a hermit this week, what with everything that's not going on. i did get a love letter from the amazing plaid today, though. that makes me very happy. anyway, i'm going to go read some of that infernal inferno and try to bribe morgan into making a costume for me. that's a joke in that if she agreed to do it, i wouldn't put up a fight. have a day, fishes.

Sunday, July 25, 2004

aaaaaaaand we're back!

the trip was the same trip we always have. i enjoyed myself to the best of my ability, spent time with the grandparents, and got horrible trapped in dante's inferno. which i hate. *shudder*
i'm supposed to be rendezvousing with brandon right now, but i don't think he's gonna show up. oh well.
instead, i am messing with the scandaliz vandalistz myspace profile, which you should all visit and add to your friends list. also i'm messing with this flickr thing, as you can tell by the picture to your right. become a member to see my friends only photos mwahhahaaa.
i feel like such a geek. oh well.