Sunday, September 21, 2003
Saturday, September 20, 2003
come when you need some . you're a pusher
today has been nice. i sat around for most of the afternoon, and helped mom "clean" a little bit. got brandon's cds in the mail FINALLLY (haven't listened to any yet, though, because they all seem way to exciting). called up brock, logically. it was actually just to tell him that i wasn't going to be allowed to go out tonight, because my hoarse throat qualifies as sick to mother. that was too bad because brock and i had planned on going to the copper possum show at neil's tonight to support tim from my latin class. that was sad. but of course brock and i ended up talking for forever on the phone, because that's what we do. in the end, he decided to just come visit me. ("i love living at your house!!") since seeing a good movie does NOT count as going out, mom allowed brock and i to see american splendor, which was quite good. brock discovered for the first time that the armrest in between movie theatre seats goes up, so we got to hold hands for the last half of the movie, which was really nice. i love the boy.
we came home and started watching my dinner with andre. i probably really wasn't in the mood for it, especially after just seeing a completely opposite kind of movie -- very involved, featuring lots of different techniques and strategies of storytelling. my dinner with andre is just very straightforward -- two guys sitting at a dinner table for the entire movie. you could just listen to that movie and it would make perfect sense. i didn't like that at all. i'm too interested in film for that. i got bored with the non-shots and the non-cinematography. it wasn't even anti-cinematography. it was just like "fuck that, i'm above that" not like "fuck that, i'm a movie." i don't know. so i didn't get too into it. there were a few things they said that were really interesting, but a lot of it was stuff i didn't care to hear about it. and i didn't wholly agree with either andre or wally. i know this makes no sense to those of you who haven't seen the movie. oh well. i don't recommend. i'll have to see it again when i care.
listening to: throwing muses - flying
we came home and started watching my dinner with andre. i probably really wasn't in the mood for it, especially after just seeing a completely opposite kind of movie -- very involved, featuring lots of different techniques and strategies of storytelling. my dinner with andre is just very straightforward -- two guys sitting at a dinner table for the entire movie. you could just listen to that movie and it would make perfect sense. i didn't like that at all. i'm too interested in film for that. i got bored with the non-shots and the non-cinematography. it wasn't even anti-cinematography. it was just like "fuck that, i'm above that" not like "fuck that, i'm a movie." i don't know. so i didn't get too into it. there were a few things they said that were really interesting, but a lot of it was stuff i didn't care to hear about it. and i didn't wholly agree with either andre or wally. i know this makes no sense to those of you who haven't seen the movie. oh well. i don't recommend. i'll have to see it again when i care.
listening to: throwing muses - flying
yesterday after school, katherine went with alice and elise to fly kites. i felt really bad because katherine and i were the ones who made plans to fly kites on Day. however, katherine got confused that Day was thurs, not fri, so she couldn't participate on that day. and on fri, i didn't get to see her at all, so i couldn't say "hey let's go fly kites" or "hey i'm busy today, what about tomorrow?" or anything. guilt guilt guilt. sorry, katherine. i hope you had fun.
today mom woke me up at 12 and said i sound like scarlett johansson. i actually really really love her voice, and i WISH i sounded like her. but the compliment wasn't that great because whenever i said anything, it was really painful and mom couldn't hear me and i had to say it like 5 times. mom's method of waking people up is really funny. she'll come in and sit down on my bed and not say anything like "wake up" or "good morning" or anything. she just starts to talk. "you need to put your sheets back on the bed, you're going to ruin the matress. isn't my shirt pretty? morgan and i went to that falling rivers place that used to be moodance. we got one skirt for all of us to share, and one skirt for morgan, and pants and a top for me, but nothing for you because we didn't know what you'd want. you sound like scarlett johansson. you're the only one who loves my earrings as much as me" etc.
also mom rubbed my back. her hands were very warm. it was nice. i love my mommy. the animals all followed her into my room. so irie and goddess were on the bed with us, and bonnie was rubbing her back under the bed.
i got out of bed eventually. i asked mom where dad was, to find me some medicine because he knows about those things. she said "he's working on his face right now." meaning he was shaving. HAHAHAH.
listening to: mogwai - 2 rights make 1 wrong
today mom woke me up at 12 and said i sound like scarlett johansson. i actually really really love her voice, and i WISH i sounded like her. but the compliment wasn't that great because whenever i said anything, it was really painful and mom couldn't hear me and i had to say it like 5 times. mom's method of waking people up is really funny. she'll come in and sit down on my bed and not say anything like "wake up" or "good morning" or anything. she just starts to talk. "you need to put your sheets back on the bed, you're going to ruin the matress. isn't my shirt pretty? morgan and i went to that falling rivers place that used to be moodance. we got one skirt for all of us to share, and one skirt for morgan, and pants and a top for me, but nothing for you because we didn't know what you'd want. you sound like scarlett johansson. you're the only one who loves my earrings as much as me" etc.
also mom rubbed my back. her hands were very warm. it was nice. i love my mommy. the animals all followed her into my room. so irie and goddess were on the bed with us, and bonnie was rubbing her back under the bed.
i got out of bed eventually. i asked mom where dad was, to find me some medicine because he knows about those things. she said "he's working on his face right now." meaning he was shaving. HAHAHAH.
listening to: mogwai - 2 rights make 1 wrong
oh yeah, i gave brock two mixes this morning at school. i always think it's really cool when people post tracklists to mixes on their blogs, so. what a loser am i. plus i can use so that i don't repeat any of these songs on later mixes.
Maiming Binky
01) Eskimo Kisses - Elevator
02) Rainer Maria - Breakfast of Champions
03) Coheed and Cambria - Time Consumer
04) Rx Bandits - Wrong With Me
05) Gordon Gano feat. PJ Harvey - Hitting the Ground
06) Guided By Voices - Everywhere With Helicopter
07) Belly - Slow Dog
08) Pixies - Levitate Me
09) Essential Logic - Aerosol Burns
10) Luscious Jackson - Mood Swing
11) The Decemberists - Here I Dreamt I Was An Architect
12) Saves the Day - The Way His Collar Falls
13) Aimee Mann - Wise Up
14) Liz Phair - Don’t Have Time
15) Molly Angst - The First Beauty Queen
16) Fleabag - Fading Fast
17) AFI - Perfect Fit
18) X-Ray Spex - Oh Bondage Up Yours
19) Flogging Molly - Salty Dog
20) Devotchkas - Hip Hop Kids
21) Bangs - Burnout
22) Desaparecidos - Manana
23) The Peechees - The Restart
24) Tracy + the Plastics - Ooo!
25) Brassy - Work It Out
26) Gravy Train!!!! - Hella Nervous
Mrs. Putnam has the answers
01) Palomar - Slingshot
02) Badly Drawn Boy - Once Around The Block
03) The Moldy Peaches - Who’s Got The Crack
04) The Weakerthans - Aside
05) The Moves - Fucking Charming
06) Polaris - Summerbaby
07) Jeff Buckley - Mojo Pin
08) Belle and Sebastian - Don’t Leave The Light On Baby
09) The Magnetic Fields - 100,000 Fireflies
10) Chug - Flowers
11) The Mountain Goats - Jenny
12) Afghan Whigs - My Curse
13) Jets To Brazil - Starry Configurations
14) Dead Milkmen - Surfin’ Cow
15) Cursive - The Lament of Pretty Baby
16) Hedwig and the Angry Inch - Angry Inch
17) Bis - Secret Vampires
18) Gore Gore Girls - Hunt You Down
19) The Cramps - Bikini Girls With Machine Guns
20) At The Drive-In - One Armed Scissor
21) Anti-Flag - Angry Young and Poor
22) Bad Brains - Pay To Cum
23) The Hissyfits - Something Wrong
24) Bikini Kill - Rah! Rah! Replica
go on and laugh it up, motherfuckers.
Maiming Binky
01) Eskimo Kisses - Elevator
02) Rainer Maria - Breakfast of Champions
03) Coheed and Cambria - Time Consumer
04) Rx Bandits - Wrong With Me
05) Gordon Gano feat. PJ Harvey - Hitting the Ground
06) Guided By Voices - Everywhere With Helicopter
07) Belly - Slow Dog
08) Pixies - Levitate Me
09) Essential Logic - Aerosol Burns
10) Luscious Jackson - Mood Swing
11) The Decemberists - Here I Dreamt I Was An Architect
12) Saves the Day - The Way His Collar Falls
13) Aimee Mann - Wise Up
14) Liz Phair - Don’t Have Time
15) Molly Angst - The First Beauty Queen
16) Fleabag - Fading Fast
17) AFI - Perfect Fit
18) X-Ray Spex - Oh Bondage Up Yours
19) Flogging Molly - Salty Dog
20) Devotchkas - Hip Hop Kids
21) Bangs - Burnout
22) Desaparecidos - Manana
23) The Peechees - The Restart
24) Tracy + the Plastics - Ooo!
25) Brassy - Work It Out
26) Gravy Train!!!! - Hella Nervous
Mrs. Putnam has the answers
01) Palomar - Slingshot
02) Badly Drawn Boy - Once Around The Block
03) The Moldy Peaches - Who’s Got The Crack
04) The Weakerthans - Aside
05) The Moves - Fucking Charming
06) Polaris - Summerbaby
07) Jeff Buckley - Mojo Pin
08) Belle and Sebastian - Don’t Leave The Light On Baby
09) The Magnetic Fields - 100,000 Fireflies
10) Chug - Flowers
11) The Mountain Goats - Jenny
12) Afghan Whigs - My Curse
13) Jets To Brazil - Starry Configurations
14) Dead Milkmen - Surfin’ Cow
15) Cursive - The Lament of Pretty Baby
16) Hedwig and the Angry Inch - Angry Inch
17) Bis - Secret Vampires
18) Gore Gore Girls - Hunt You Down
19) The Cramps - Bikini Girls With Machine Guns
20) At The Drive-In - One Armed Scissor
21) Anti-Flag - Angry Young and Poor
22) Bad Brains - Pay To Cum
23) The Hissyfits - Something Wrong
24) Bikini Kill - Rah! Rah! Replica
go on and laugh it up, motherfuckers.
neo-rancid makes me want to die.
today feels like the kind of day that i don't really want to blog about because someone else already did. ehhh. very quickly:
lauren dunn gave me a piggy-back ride after our marvelous half-day of school. i love half-days. i wish every day was a half-day. then i could love life. after that, me, brock, elizabeth, jenny, nina, melissa tuttle, lauren d, allison newman, lauren henry, becca quasney, rachel edelman, and charlie grose went to lunch at chile's. i felt loud and obnoxious but i don't mind because i always am. ahaha oh well. fuck me. there were a couple other white station parties there, as well, besdies us. after that, a bunch of people headed for the lovely midsouth fair. fuck that. rachel drove brock home so that he could work on an art assignment, and elizabeth was going to take me home (after we stopped at jenny's house) before those two headed to the fair. once we got to jenny's, she changed clothes twice and purses once, and receieved a million phone calls. because we had sat down at the table, started talking, and couldn't get up. i really like just talking, though, so i didn't mind a bit. they decided that the fair was too expensive anyway. i remembered around 4 that brock said he'd be ready to leave home around then, and that my cell phone is dead so he had no way of getting in touch with me. i called him only to find that he had gotten locked out of his house and all this crazy shit and eventually ended up at rachel's. HAAHAHAHA. but anyway, we went and picked him up, drove to paradiso the ghetto way, and saw matchstick men, which i really enjoyed. toward the end i thought i was going to hate it but i really didn't. plus i love brock movie-lovin. it feels like i've seen a lot of movies with him recently, but i might've made it up. i can't brain. after the movie, brock and i went back to my house, because elizabeth and jenny were going to the football game in fucking collierville. fuck that shit. brock tried to record his rendition of "amazing grace" but hated how it turned out.
mom rented some movies from black lodge and we started to watch this movie called "eat drink man woman" which i found really slow and not that interesting. plus it was chinese, and i was trying to eat cheese and crackers and i missed a lot of the subtitles. brock and i ended up talking through a lot of it, and eventually just went back to my room. i LOVE Windowsill Nights. we lay on the bed with our heads on the windowsill. it was really niceeee. we talked for a long time which, obviously, i loved. talking to brock always makes me really happy. we will never run out of things to say. something about the night (like last saturday, only in a different context) felt like a very sleepover night. maybe more of a sleep-over-because-i-don't-want-to-be-alone-and-i-don't-want-you-to-ever-go night, rather than last week's more of we're-so-cozy-let's-never-get-up-and-you-can-stay-here-forever night. nights nights. i love hot nights. but anyway think of how much fun that would be to have brock spend the night. aww how much fun that would be. maybe one day i can get my mom to talk to his mom, and she'll let him, and we can watch the sun come up. oh i'm melting already. don't worry, brock, it's inevitable that one day we WILL do that shit.
my voice was getting steadily sorer all night long, and at this exact moment i can barely speak above a whisper. but while brock was here, i sounded like a smoker/rockstar. i want to record myself saying/singing something but i can't think of what yet. brock got a kick out of the voice, though. i spoke in sexy french. oh dear god the suaveness of ourselves slays me.
listening to: the libertines - i get along
today feels like the kind of day that i don't really want to blog about because someone else already did. ehhh. very quickly:
lauren dunn gave me a piggy-back ride after our marvelous half-day of school. i love half-days. i wish every day was a half-day. then i could love life. after that, me, brock, elizabeth, jenny, nina, melissa tuttle, lauren d, allison newman, lauren henry, becca quasney, rachel edelman, and charlie grose went to lunch at chile's. i felt loud and obnoxious but i don't mind because i always am. ahaha oh well. fuck me. there were a couple other white station parties there, as well, besdies us. after that, a bunch of people headed for the lovely midsouth fair. fuck that. rachel drove brock home so that he could work on an art assignment, and elizabeth was going to take me home (after we stopped at jenny's house) before those two headed to the fair. once we got to jenny's, she changed clothes twice and purses once, and receieved a million phone calls. because we had sat down at the table, started talking, and couldn't get up. i really like just talking, though, so i didn't mind a bit. they decided that the fair was too expensive anyway. i remembered around 4 that brock said he'd be ready to leave home around then, and that my cell phone is dead so he had no way of getting in touch with me. i called him only to find that he had gotten locked out of his house and all this crazy shit and eventually ended up at rachel's. HAAHAHAHA. but anyway, we went and picked him up, drove to paradiso the ghetto way, and saw matchstick men, which i really enjoyed. toward the end i thought i was going to hate it but i really didn't. plus i love brock movie-lovin. it feels like i've seen a lot of movies with him recently, but i might've made it up. i can't brain. after the movie, brock and i went back to my house, because elizabeth and jenny were going to the football game in fucking collierville. fuck that shit. brock tried to record his rendition of "amazing grace" but hated how it turned out.
mom rented some movies from black lodge and we started to watch this movie called "eat drink man woman" which i found really slow and not that interesting. plus it was chinese, and i was trying to eat cheese and crackers and i missed a lot of the subtitles. brock and i ended up talking through a lot of it, and eventually just went back to my room. i LOVE Windowsill Nights. we lay on the bed with our heads on the windowsill. it was really niceeee. we talked for a long time which, obviously, i loved. talking to brock always makes me really happy. we will never run out of things to say. something about the night (like last saturday, only in a different context) felt like a very sleepover night. maybe more of a sleep-over-because-i-don't-want-to-be-alone-and-i-don't-want-you-to-ever-go night, rather than last week's more of we're-so-cozy-let's-never-get-up-and-you-can-stay-here-forever night. nights nights. i love hot nights. but anyway think of how much fun that would be to have brock spend the night. aww how much fun that would be. maybe one day i can get my mom to talk to his mom, and she'll let him, and we can watch the sun come up. oh i'm melting already. don't worry, brock, it's inevitable that one day we WILL do that shit.
my voice was getting steadily sorer all night long, and at this exact moment i can barely speak above a whisper. but while brock was here, i sounded like a smoker/rockstar. i want to record myself saying/singing something but i can't think of what yet. brock got a kick out of the voice, though. i spoke in sexy french. oh dear god the suaveness of ourselves slays me.
listening to: the libertines - i get along
Thursday, September 18, 2003
The rebel chick
Which girl stereotype are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
can someone explain to me what avril is doing on there? oh well this is for silliness anyway.
man i don't want to write a long post today but i feel like one is wanting to come....
i found out today that this guy tim in my latin class is in a band called copper possum, who i saw play at neil's this summer, with zoe, because her friend ben is the singer/guitarist for them. tim was announcing a show they are having on saturday, which i thought was a really cool and brave thing to do. i like that kid. i told him that i saw them this summer (bravo for me, because i usually wouldn't go out and say something like that to someone i don't know). he was like "really?" pause. "OH YEAH YOU WERE WITH WHATS-HER-NAME!" i think this is very funny. he probably remembered the crazy girl dancing like a motherfucker. but what the hell, there was a jam band playing and no one else dancing, what was i supposed to do? sit there like a lump on a bumpy ass? of course not. and anyway, joe whats his name and paul warner gave me really funny looks. anything is worth that shit.
rest of the school day was okay. nothing too exciting, nothing too awful. i presented my project in english, and i felt the bigges RELIEF when it was over. i haven't had to do a project that i was actually worried about my grade on in a long time. what's funny is that i knew i had gone over the time limit and everything, and that she hated my visual, and that i can't public speak for ass, but i just couldn't care. i still feel really good.
brock and i got to talk before 4th period, which was really nice. to me, just getting to have little moments with people through the day is so refreshing. and becca walked a different route to 4th period so that she could run into me (and be late) to give me a note. it was very happy, i enjoyed it thoroughly but forgot to tell her so.
after school, we'd planned on having DAY which i was very excited about. there were some complications, however. katherine hadn't realized that i'd been talking about TODAY for Day, so she couldn't come. becca had to go home after school to get her guitar and stuff, and kevin was supposed to bring her and laylee to my house right after. when kevin got home, he found out about a dentist appointment he had, so laylee, becca, and kevin didn't get to my house until 7 or so. brock, of course, did get to come to my house straight after school and we got to just hang out and it was really really nice. we filmed him beating up a dragon (ish. ahahaha.) and dancing around and everything was great. oh there was one really great moment (there were probably a few but i've forgotten the others) when we were burning the fiona apple cd for him. i told him to listen to "the first taste," that he'd love it, and i left the room to find a liz phair cd. i couldn't find it, and started to return from the fruitless venture when i heard this bloodcurdling scream. then "YOU KNOW ME SO WELL!" we had one of our many suave moments where i ran in and hugged him sitting in the swivel chair and we nearly collapsed onto the floor. it was glorious. man tonight was great.
there was a really awkward moment when elise called and made a seriously creepy comment about me and brock. shudder.
so later on, becca and kevin played becca's 2 new songs for us, and we recorded one. (LISTEN TO IT HERE!) the songs are AMAZING. we ended up going to open-mic, where elise, margaret, katherine w, and daniell also were. aside from daniel, tilden, paul lynch, and the beard guy, tonight's crowd was completely unknown to me. this group of people took turns reading about 30 shel silverstein poems. sorry, but i wanted to kill myself. he's not that great. and, sorry, but you're not 7. elise read only one poem. she hasn't been posting lately on DOY, so i hadn't heard it before. becca and kevin played the 2 songs. something happened to "paper hearts" which felt very off, and it was really different from when they played it here. but i'm in LOVE with "hollywood revenge" and not just because becca used something i said for one of the lines. and fucking yay for that, god damn it! i'm really proud of becca. she's too amazing. the night was absolutely great except for that elise was really getting on my nerves. and we barely even said 2 words to each other all night. shit i said i didn't want to go into detail about tonight. oh well. trust me, there were some reeeeeally nice moments. but what can i say? i planned to get some sleep tonight, and i just now finished eating my dinner of granola slimfast bar. life is good.
listening to: the moldy peaches - who's got the crack?
Wednesday, September 17, 2003
what a rollercoaster pathetic excuse for a day i've had. i was up till almost 4am doing projects and various homework. the first part of the day (homeroom, chemistry) was awful, because i was dreading the presentation of my benjamin franklin english project. for some reason i had had my heart SET on not presenting today (i don't know what difference it's supposed to make) but allison told me before school that my name was on the list to present today, and i flipped. so i went into english consumed with dread, only to be told by allison first thing that my name was moved to tomorrow. hooray! i hugged allison. i never hug allison, i only hit her. so that was strange. but i rejoiced all through everyone else's projects. sean dressed up as squanto aka THE VILLAGE PEOPLE and had a hot-pink poster board. the kid is in denial. oh well. i am glad to have time to fix up my visual and some of my notes tonight. (like that's going to happen.) then i had study hall, and i did most of my math homework from last night, and read the chapter for history and highlighted and underlined and practised good-studenting. then i went to latin which was a joke as usual. we had a quiz that was supposed to be an easy grade -- open notes and everything. too bad i had no idea what half the answers were. ah well. then lunch was very nice today. allison, katie, and elizabeth had our lunch because of testing. yayyy. brock fed me cheese and crackers. hoorah, ho. then i ventured to history. being myself, i NEVER ask about "what do we do in such and such a class today?" i don't know, maybe i should start. history was horrifying. we were supposed to have a test on the chapter, but instead we had a group discussion thing. it was AWFUL. i didn't have anything to say, so i didn't. and even if i had i wouldn't have said anything. but in the middle of it, mrs. ervin called on me. she didn't even ask me a question, she just said "alanna." like a command, like i have a brain. that bitch. so i stuttered out something really pathetic and stared at my paper for the rest of the period. afterwards, ms. ervin had to have a talk with me and everything, and tell me how much i suck and i'm going to die. it was awful. i wrote a poem, but it sucks. anyway, after that i had algebra which was pretty shitty too. we have a test tomorrow which i'm going to fucking fail. oh well. after school i was still really upset... everyone was nice to me about it though. i got a long hug from margaret, which was special because she understands how evil ms. ervin is and the act of nearly crying in front of that heartless bitch. god damn. and she also has fear of public speaking, but she doesn't lose her brain the way that i do, when she is called on. robin did the robin thing, and asked details, and talked about how pointless discussions are, and made me feel a little better. fucking ronald wash nearly murdered me with his always being around and killing my soul. fuck that kid. watch your back, ronald. but laylee and becca noticed that i was upset after school when they were pixies-ing and i wasn't responding right. they were very them and hugged me lots and were sweet. brock was brock and made me relate the event and ugh. he doesnt think he's good with comforting but he is. it was nice. after that, everyone else had run off so brock and i sat on the bricks for a while and talked. it was nice. i like his clam, no matter what he says. a while after i'd been at home, he called and we talked on the phone for a long while. it was really nice, because i haven't been able to breathe like that on a weekday for a while. it was great, as talking to him always is. it's so good to just brock ramble. and he keeps me mildly on topic. it's funny. right now i'm trying to eat pizza but my teeth hurt like a motherfucker.
i am really excited about Day tomorrow! at the start of the year, becca, brock, and i decided we should have one day a week where we hang out after school, as a breather. we did it once, and have had conflicts ever since. so i'm REALLY excited that it's going to happen this week. plus friday is a half-day, which i even better. what a great way to end Week Of Hell. i can't wait until 2:15 tomorrow.
listening to: the mountain goats - see america right
i am really excited about Day tomorrow! at the start of the year, becca, brock, and i decided we should have one day a week where we hang out after school, as a breather. we did it once, and have had conflicts ever since. so i'm REALLY excited that it's going to happen this week. plus friday is a half-day, which i even better. what a great way to end Week Of Hell. i can't wait until 2:15 tomorrow.
listening to: the mountain goats - see america right
Tuesday, September 16, 2003
caribou... REPENT! REPENT!
today is ick day. i am avoiding homework, but what else is new? visited one danny weiss this afternoon. for a fucking hour. bastard othrodontist thinks he is too good for me. i'll show him who's boss. who's got the money around here.
one day i'll bite that fucker's hand off.
bad news is that i still have another fucking tooth to come in. what a bitch. i have like 3 teeth anyway, come the fuck on. how much can i ask?
good news is that he kept talking about my braces maybe coming off one day. (this time he estimated that i'd get them off when i turn 36! yes! last time it was 50... i'm so excited.)
i have lots of bullshit to do tonight, lots of projects due this week. eww. well at least it's tuesday, not monday. i plan to Day on thurs this week, so if anyone of you kiddies would like to come along, please feel free. i want to make a party out of it. and if thursday is shit, we can go for tomorrow. just get me out of here for a little while. i should go do some shit, i guess. (you know i never will. okay. not never, unless 5am is the end of the world.)
listening to: pixies - vamos
(as stated previously, i CANNOT stop listening to the pixies. because you know. that maid maria, she is real okay.)
one day i'll bite that fucker's hand off.
bad news is that i still have another fucking tooth to come in. what a bitch. i have like 3 teeth anyway, come the fuck on. how much can i ask?
good news is that he kept talking about my braces maybe coming off one day. (this time he estimated that i'd get them off when i turn 36! yes! last time it was 50... i'm so excited.)
i have lots of bullshit to do tonight, lots of projects due this week. eww. well at least it's tuesday, not monday. i plan to Day on thurs this week, so if anyone of you kiddies would like to come along, please feel free. i want to make a party out of it. and if thursday is shit, we can go for tomorrow. just get me out of here for a little while. i should go do some shit, i guess. (you know i never will. okay. not never, unless 5am is the end of the world.)
listening to: pixies - vamos
(as stated previously, i CANNOT stop listening to the pixies. because you know. that maid maria, she is real okay.)
Monday, September 15, 2003
Sunday, September 14, 2003
today was really good. man, though, my blog is totally dying. ughh i can't keep this up. oh well.
today was the cooper-young festival. i sat around the house, sort of trying to find someone to go with all day long. i knew that a lot of people had wanted to go, but couldn't for various reasons. (katherine d, sallis, laylee, brock were stuck at home with school bullshit. ew.) but i didn't want to go alone and then wonder around for my entire life trying to find them. but that's what i ended up doing. dad dropped me off near first congo, and very shortly after i ran into morgan (sister, not fox) with a couple of her friends (sara/foot and duncan). we walked around for a while. morgan had seen tarah a while earlier, who wrote her cell phone number (and "i love you!") on some little piece of paper for me. i called her, and eventually found her at java. we didn't really get to hang out, because foot was trying to find her mom and i was still walking around with them for god knows what reason. i saw zoë and miranda briefly, which was nice. we accumulated a larger group of 8th and 9th graders that i didn't know and stood around doing things that weren't very interesting for morgan and me, for a while. so morgan and i were like "okay let's go to bella sun" and i swear i thought everyone was following us... i guess not. so we ended up watching that all alone, but they were great of course. they played with a BAND, too. (well drums and bass. you know.) it was really interesting. jesus christ frank black is so sexy when he sings in spanish. or when he sings in english. or when he breathes. so at the very end of the set, elise, lauren d, and alice arrived. it was somewhat distracting. oh well. HANGWIRE! we stood around and talked for a bit. oh yeah, leah's dad recognized me from like. the one time we met, and he talked to me about film and dauchsands and black vs white rap. a funny little man. funny because i might not have recognized him if i didn't love this picture katherine d took of him. i love it because it's just like. some old guy grinning in front of tombs. aahaha. my humor needs a sound check. (that was a pretty good pun, if i do say so myself.) anyway. then mutant spacebats of doom played. i liked the hi-tone show better, because it was longer and much more rock n roll, and there were some tech issues as well as more obvious fumblings of the band today. (and by the way, those are SOOOO my mp3s on their website. hell yes! i wish they'd credited me. how much an i ask, though? you can hear me and co. screaming and sometimes speaking through the tracks.) but you know me, i still danced like a crazy fool ass this afternoon. it was fun. after that, i walked to java cabana with elise, alice, and lauren. suddenly foot appeared, who morgan had been looking for ever since we lost them before bella sun. she and morgan were leaving, and i thought they were going home, which apparently they weren't. but i think foot's mom was meant to be my ride-ish. so i was like well i don't want to go home, elise would you mind dropping me off when you guys leave? and she made the gaggy creep ass noise and said she couldn't because she didn't know what her plans for later were. this made no sense to me. i wasn't asking to come along, i was just asking if she could take me home after she left co-yo. but anyway i was like "fuck this, i don't want to beg to hang out with someone who (a) obviously didn't want me to stick around and (b) i wasn't having a marvelous time with in the first place." so fuck that shit. i went outside, because morgan and foot had already stepped out, but they had disappeared. so i was entirely without a ride. at that point it was obvious that i wasn't going to go back in and beg for a ride from elise. i decided instead to just hang out alone until dad could come get me. but amazingly enough, i happened to walk back towards the spacebats show, and i ran into elizabeth, jenny, and rocio. i started to hang out with them, before i decided to call my dad, but elizabeth said she'd take me home anyway. we walked around and listened to a little bit of another bad, outside first congo. we saw morgan (fox, this time). i love that man. he came over and gave me a very good hug, with his glitter and silly sunglasses. then we walked around some more, ran into christie and katherine warren for the second, brief time. we ended up going in a big circle, to find ice cream. there were a couple times when we saw elise walking around with other people. we once made a half-assed attempt to catch up to her, but that didn't really work out. and we didn't really want to hang out with some friends she'd made at theatre whatever or elementary school or bridgebuilders or whever these happened to be from. but it's weird, to think about it now, that it this "oh, there goes elise." thing, which, if i had seen her with ANYONE last year, i would've sprinted a block to catch up. well not that i would've been able to see her a block away, in the middle of cooper-young festival. but you know what i mean. oh well, things change. and i had a great time anywa. anyway, we asked this old guy where he got his damn ice cream. turned out to be just across the street from java. he offered us the rest of his, though HAHAHA. and just as i was buying my large $3 vanilla/chocolate swirl cone (with a damn $20 bill, too. what an ass am i.) my fucking phone rang. it's really hard to balance like four things at once in only some two hands. but anyway it was BROCK. we just sort of talked for a few minutes, because i assumed that he wasn't able to get out of the house yet. i guess i thought it was earlier in the day than it was, or something (like 5:30). but i randomly was like "you need to be here, to look at all the pretty people with us." (ben siler was walking by.) and so he did. and it was good. and god made cheese. yum yum yum. while we were sitting by that damn M restaurant at the cooper-young intersection, christie and katherine w again made an appearance, but this time they actually stuck around. so we were all sitting around waiting for the beautiful brock to arrive. it was exciting. at one point, i realized it was like 5:50 and he was supposed to be there, so i walked around to see if he'd sat down someplace on the other side of the gazebo. i was just walking along and this guy was randomly like "can i take your picture?" i said "sure" and accidentally assumed my picture pose thing, when i sort of put my weight on one foot and do an unintentional hip-jut. i'm afraid i looked assy, but i don't really care. he was just like "okay" and ran off after that, though. it was interesting, to say the least, because i was definitely not one of the strangest-looking people there. maybe i was the happy medium he was looking for? HAHA no too ugly for that. anyway, brock wasn't there. so i went back to the groupity, to find russell standing there among them. he was wearing double plaid and thrift, and he is funny. i like him. he danced crazy with me at battle of the bands. that is a meaningful experience. he gives me hugs too, which i adore, because hugs are my favorite thing. anyway, brock eventually showed up, fashionably late. i was excited to see him, of course, but instead of just doing my stupid little normal standing there and not showing any excitability at all thing, i jumped around and gave him a huge running hug, which turned into a moviesque spinning hug, in which (because of my smallness) i was lifted off the ground and spun and spun. it was something like a kevin bird-flight thingie, only not so flighty in the airness, and more huggity. i've never hugged brock around his neck, probably, because it's too far away. oh well.
advantages of smallness: being really easy to spin around, therefore getting spun around all the time mostly on accident
disadvantages of smallness: hard to see a damn thing. but concerning human contact, it's impossible to reach a tall person's upper body. so it would be ridiculous if one attempted to hug a tall person's neck, or hit their fucking head without it taking 20 minutes and depriving you the option of surprise attack, or spontaneously kiss them, unless you're aiming for their stomach.
soon after that, becca and william appeared. becca and i had a gloriously long hug and somewhere in the middle of it, we fell over?? i'm not really sure how that happened, but we ended up lying on the sidewalk for a while laughing. it was fun. she was wearing no shoes, which i thought was a very dumb idea. because i grew up in cooper-young. but oh well she is hardcore, what can i say? she told william that i have wife qualities and made him touch my hips. it was interesting. he had to bend over to hug me. it was really really funny. since he was bent, i was then able to hug his neck. exciting. i have never done such a funny hug. he also ended up picking me up, and it was very nice. i wish everyone would do that. william also said that i am papoose worthy. hell yes. so eventually, they skipped merrily away. we sat around and people watched. fucking TOSH walked by. i don't know if he still goes to white station. probably not. his persona is so anti-last year. then he was goth ski-boots motherfucker, now he's indie dreads kid. odd transformation, but it would be interesting to talk to him again. stranger still, a few seconds after he walked by, CLIFF (his sidekick from last year's first semester b-lunch) walked in the other direction. christie, katherine, and i were like "fucking cliff!!!" he sat on our table on like the second week of school, when we still sat inside, and broke that damn thing. no wonder we started sitting outside, we were trying to escpe the wrath of cliff+tosh. what a team. anyway, the three of us ran after that motherfucker. he was wearing this big purple hat, and i don't know how we managed to, but somehow we lost him. it was sad. but on our way down cooper, we saw a beautiful boy so we went and stood next to him for like 5 minutes. it was fun. he was really fucking pretty. the prettiest boy at the whole festival. and too bad we are the only 3 who got to see that pretty damn boy. so we mosied back over to the rest of the group, who were standing around with lauren, sophie, jeff, elise, and possibly some of elise's other friends? christie and katherine took off, elise and co. took off, and jenny and rocio went to walk around while elizabeth, brock, lauren, jeff, sophie, and i had dinner at young ave deli. it was not crowded, which i was surprised, but very pleased, to see. i had a cheeseburger because they weren't serving my favorite hot dog dish on the menu, because of the festival and the crowd and whatnot. wahhh. brock and i hung out by the jukebox, which felt very Rock. i reenacted the kill hannah jukebox moment, that was exciting. we picked "debaser," "a day in the life," and "jungle boogie." what a playlist. unfortunately, we had to leave before they played them. aww. it was an okay dinner, but really short compared to what i'm used to. lauren had to get picked up, though, or something. jeff and sophie didn't order anything, because they weren't hungry anyway. it was strange. sophie hugged me though, and said things like "i love you! i miss you! i need to see you more often!" which was really funny to me. i barely said but 3 words to her through the whole thing, i think, which wasn't really on purpose but i probably should've been nicer. jeff seems like a nice guy, but i always get the impression that he's just simply being a nice guy by being wherever he is, rather than "i'm having fun here." i just haven't seen him in the right situations, i guess. maybe that dinner just felt especially short because i was nowhere near done eating when we left. i had like 30 gazillion fries left, even though they were really damn good. i also had half a fucking hamburger and an entire coke (no refill, either). we started walking along cooper, towards union, when we spotted william and becca again. i think lauren had already disappeared, by then, and after a couple minutes of talking brock was like "alanna how are we getting home?" (and by home, he meant my house. i LOVE it that he invites himself over. i LOVE that. to me, that is pure closeness with someone. when you assume that you're going to be with them all day long, until someone makes you leave. i love it.) anyway. william VERY CHEERILY volunteered. i was really surprised, because lately i have heard some things about his stand-offishness towards becca's friends. and he did that big gushery smile, which is actually very cute. it was very happy. elizabeth, jenny, and rocio kind of disappeared, i don't remember any formal goodbye ceremonies. william and becca were leaving c-y at the same time, anyway, so it wouldn't REALLY have mattered who took us back home, except it did. it really made the rest of the night, if you know what i mean. it dealt that damn deck. it closed that damn deal. it was fucking good. william had parked in a REALLY WEIRD spot, that was blocks and blocks away from the north block-off on cooper. when we lived on felix, we just walked from home obviously. (felix is one street over from young.) we've normally just parked on felix in years since. parking on the west side of cooper just makes much more sense to me. but william had parked like. i don't know. it was insane. it was right next to east parkway, only blocks and blocks from the actual festival. and he got a ticket for parking there anyway. ANYWAY i'm not complaining about the walk, because it was quite exciting. brock threw this wad of my never-ending hamburger at william and he refused to believe that it wasn't me. he had a big ketchup on his back too. ahha oh funny. i had a lot of fun being silly with william tonight. it was nice, and i enjoyed his company lots. i pelted becca with little bits of hamburger. not ketchupy ones, though. she had on a very nice shirt, with a little strappy back thing. and at some point i think her feet were hurting (barefootness) so william piggy-backed her the rest of the way. for some reason, brock was carrying my coke (which got more spilled than sipped) and he started to flick it on becca's back. she was like "it's raining!!" all cute and happy. it was really funny. i died laughing. ohh i'm mean. oh well, it was too much fun. so william tried to take a detour to my house. he said it was "the long way" anyway, but he was trying to avoid the traffic for some huge game that was happening. we ended up in ghettoville. we got laughted at and dissed by more black people than you could count on all your limbs. it was great fun. to counter the rap attack of the surrounding windows-down vehicles, we blasted yeah yeah yeahs, dandy warhols, squirrel nut zippers, and an assortment of strange ethnic songs. though we were taking the detour, we were still stuck in AWFUL traffic for like 6 blocks of pain. it was so much fun. william played a cover of "mr. grieves" for me by this band called TV on the Radio. i've heard stories that he's very snobbish about music in his car and usually refuses to tell people the names of bands he's listening to. i don't know, but that was NOT the case tonight. i loved the cover, and he played at least one other song by the band. i really liked it, said so, and he told me he'd make me a copy of the cd. when he dropped us off at my house (finally) he actually handed me his cd though. it was really nice. also, as soon as brock and i got out of the car, it started to rain. so we ended up dancing in it for like 20 minutes. it was too much fun. we attempted to tango down my driveway, and brock mutilated his foot. i didn't think he was as hurt as implied by the bruise he sported later in the evening, however. poor brock's foot. i'm sending my good karma to that piece of shit. anyway we danced all around the driveway, ran down the street, jumped around in the beautiful light of a streetlamp, and splashed around in this great, massive, deep puddle that always forms across the street from my house in a dip in the road. it was great. not only did brock sing shakira and shake his ass, he dragged me down the driveway twice. we attempted a leg-lift thing. fwhaha. hijinx ensue. and they were great. rain is too much fun. we came inside absolutely soaking. somehow my family didn't even notice that we'd been at home for a while, and they didn't question our wetness at all. they just assumed that we got THAT wet coming from the car into the house i guess. ahahaha oh well. i didn't say anything about dancing around outside because it felt like something too special to just proclaim like that, i guess. it was really beautiful though. i want to swing dance. i love the feeling of being wet and i love how people look when they're wet, especially at night and wearing their normal clothes. to me, it's just so eerie and out of place-ish that it makes them resemble pixies or something, i don't know. it's just otherworldly. i don't know how to explain it. but i love the feeling of being wet, still, in the big comfiness of the dry house, in dry clothes, but still essentially very wet. the comfy feeling might have also come out of the fact that i put on my pajamas and everything. brock had to borrow my dad's shorts HAHAHAHAAHHAAHHAAHAHHAAHAHAH anyway i had wanted to have another windowsill kinda night, but that wasn't going to happen what with the rain. we ended up falling into the coziness of the couch, because that really did feel like the appropriate place to exist, with our wet. morgan and mom were about to watch "blow dry" which the family minus morgan had watched last night. i didn't mind seeing it again, it was a fun movie. featuring josh hartnett the fetus. we had popcorn, which is always very happy because i'm still not used to our genius new microwave. i was glad that brock's mom let him stay for the whole movie. at one point, dad was like "so, brock, are you spending the night?" and usually when he makes silly, off comments/questions they annoy me. but that one made me happy, just knowing that it wouldn't have been an issue for my parents, even if it is for his. and i wish it wasn't. the night would've been perfect times 10 if he could have. it had the comfy feeling that spending the night would've been just heavenly. oh well, we have a lot of homework to do tomorrow, so even if his parents weren't Issued, they might not have let him. before he left, we looked around for his lost wallet but had no luck. unfortunate. he needs to go get his new permit so that he can get his license before they run away and leave us for cordova's skank ass. oh yeah, good time speech auditions are tomorrow. PLEASE guys, come try out. this play is going to be fun and strange, and they need lots of people for it. ahaha i don't even know if i'm going to go yet. but pleeeease go. i guarantee a great time, whether or not you're really into theatre (which i am NOT). uhh. i can't think of anything nice to say to end this post.
today i appreciated my shortness and group-hopped lots and loved to dance. i've been drinking this root beer for fucking 4 hours or something. okay literally more like .... 4. ahahah shit.
listening to: squirrel nut zippers - ghost of stephen foster
today was the cooper-young festival. i sat around the house, sort of trying to find someone to go with all day long. i knew that a lot of people had wanted to go, but couldn't for various reasons. (katherine d, sallis, laylee, brock were stuck at home with school bullshit. ew.) but i didn't want to go alone and then wonder around for my entire life trying to find them. but that's what i ended up doing. dad dropped me off near first congo, and very shortly after i ran into morgan (sister, not fox) with a couple of her friends (sara/foot and duncan). we walked around for a while. morgan had seen tarah a while earlier, who wrote her cell phone number (and "i love you!") on some little piece of paper for me. i called her, and eventually found her at java. we didn't really get to hang out, because foot was trying to find her mom and i was still walking around with them for god knows what reason. i saw zoë and miranda briefly, which was nice. we accumulated a larger group of 8th and 9th graders that i didn't know and stood around doing things that weren't very interesting for morgan and me, for a while. so morgan and i were like "okay let's go to bella sun" and i swear i thought everyone was following us... i guess not. so we ended up watching that all alone, but they were great of course. they played with a BAND, too. (well drums and bass. you know.) it was really interesting. jesus christ frank black is so sexy when he sings in spanish. or when he sings in english. or when he breathes. so at the very end of the set, elise, lauren d, and alice arrived. it was somewhat distracting. oh well. HANGWIRE! we stood around and talked for a bit. oh yeah, leah's dad recognized me from like. the one time we met, and he talked to me about film and dauchsands and black vs white rap. a funny little man. funny because i might not have recognized him if i didn't love this picture katherine d took of him. i love it because it's just like. some old guy grinning in front of tombs. aahaha. my humor needs a sound check. (that was a pretty good pun, if i do say so myself.) anyway. then mutant spacebats of doom played. i liked the hi-tone show better, because it was longer and much more rock n roll, and there were some tech issues as well as more obvious fumblings of the band today. (and by the way, those are SOOOO my mp3s on their website. hell yes! i wish they'd credited me. how much an i ask, though? you can hear me and co. screaming and sometimes speaking through the tracks.) but you know me, i still danced like a crazy fool ass this afternoon. it was fun. after that, i walked to java cabana with elise, alice, and lauren. suddenly foot appeared, who morgan had been looking for ever since we lost them before bella sun. she and morgan were leaving, and i thought they were going home, which apparently they weren't. but i think foot's mom was meant to be my ride-ish. so i was like well i don't want to go home, elise would you mind dropping me off when you guys leave? and she made the gaggy creep ass noise and said she couldn't because she didn't know what her plans for later were. this made no sense to me. i wasn't asking to come along, i was just asking if she could take me home after she left co-yo. but anyway i was like "fuck this, i don't want to beg to hang out with someone who (a) obviously didn't want me to stick around and (b) i wasn't having a marvelous time with in the first place." so fuck that shit. i went outside, because morgan and foot had already stepped out, but they had disappeared. so i was entirely without a ride. at that point it was obvious that i wasn't going to go back in and beg for a ride from elise. i decided instead to just hang out alone until dad could come get me. but amazingly enough, i happened to walk back towards the spacebats show, and i ran into elizabeth, jenny, and rocio. i started to hang out with them, before i decided to call my dad, but elizabeth said she'd take me home anyway. we walked around and listened to a little bit of another bad, outside first congo. we saw morgan (fox, this time). i love that man. he came over and gave me a very good hug, with his glitter and silly sunglasses. then we walked around some more, ran into christie and katherine warren for the second, brief time. we ended up going in a big circle, to find ice cream. there were a couple times when we saw elise walking around with other people. we once made a half-assed attempt to catch up to her, but that didn't really work out. and we didn't really want to hang out with some friends she'd made at theatre whatever or elementary school or bridgebuilders or whever these happened to be from. but it's weird, to think about it now, that it this "oh, there goes elise." thing, which, if i had seen her with ANYONE last year, i would've sprinted a block to catch up. well not that i would've been able to see her a block away, in the middle of cooper-young festival. but you know what i mean. oh well, things change. and i had a great time anywa. anyway, we asked this old guy where he got his damn ice cream. turned out to be just across the street from java. he offered us the rest of his, though HAHAHA. and just as i was buying my large $3 vanilla/chocolate swirl cone (with a damn $20 bill, too. what an ass am i.) my fucking phone rang. it's really hard to balance like four things at once in only some two hands. but anyway it was BROCK. we just sort of talked for a few minutes, because i assumed that he wasn't able to get out of the house yet. i guess i thought it was earlier in the day than it was, or something (like 5:30). but i randomly was like "you need to be here, to look at all the pretty people with us." (ben siler was walking by.) and so he did. and it was good. and god made cheese. yum yum yum. while we were sitting by that damn M restaurant at the cooper-young intersection, christie and katherine w again made an appearance, but this time they actually stuck around. so we were all sitting around waiting for the beautiful brock to arrive. it was exciting. at one point, i realized it was like 5:50 and he was supposed to be there, so i walked around to see if he'd sat down someplace on the other side of the gazebo. i was just walking along and this guy was randomly like "can i take your picture?" i said "sure" and accidentally assumed my picture pose thing, when i sort of put my weight on one foot and do an unintentional hip-jut. i'm afraid i looked assy, but i don't really care. he was just like "okay" and ran off after that, though. it was interesting, to say the least, because i was definitely not one of the strangest-looking people there. maybe i was the happy medium he was looking for? HAHA no too ugly for that. anyway, brock wasn't there. so i went back to the groupity, to find russell standing there among them. he was wearing double plaid and thrift, and he is funny. i like him. he danced crazy with me at battle of the bands. that is a meaningful experience. he gives me hugs too, which i adore, because hugs are my favorite thing. anyway, brock eventually showed up, fashionably late. i was excited to see him, of course, but instead of just doing my stupid little normal standing there and not showing any excitability at all thing, i jumped around and gave him a huge running hug, which turned into a moviesque spinning hug, in which (because of my smallness) i was lifted off the ground and spun and spun. it was something like a kevin bird-flight thingie, only not so flighty in the airness, and more huggity. i've never hugged brock around his neck, probably, because it's too far away. oh well.
advantages of smallness: being really easy to spin around, therefore getting spun around all the time mostly on accident
disadvantages of smallness: hard to see a damn thing. but concerning human contact, it's impossible to reach a tall person's upper body. so it would be ridiculous if one attempted to hug a tall person's neck, or hit their fucking head without it taking 20 minutes and depriving you the option of surprise attack, or spontaneously kiss them, unless you're aiming for their stomach.
soon after that, becca and william appeared. becca and i had a gloriously long hug and somewhere in the middle of it, we fell over?? i'm not really sure how that happened, but we ended up lying on the sidewalk for a while laughing. it was fun. she was wearing no shoes, which i thought was a very dumb idea. because i grew up in cooper-young. but oh well she is hardcore, what can i say? she told william that i have wife qualities and made him touch my hips. it was interesting. he had to bend over to hug me. it was really really funny. since he was bent, i was then able to hug his neck. exciting. i have never done such a funny hug. he also ended up picking me up, and it was very nice. i wish everyone would do that. william also said that i am papoose worthy. hell yes. so eventually, they skipped merrily away. we sat around and people watched. fucking TOSH walked by. i don't know if he still goes to white station. probably not. his persona is so anti-last year. then he was goth ski-boots motherfucker, now he's indie dreads kid. odd transformation, but it would be interesting to talk to him again. stranger still, a few seconds after he walked by, CLIFF (his sidekick from last year's first semester b-lunch) walked in the other direction. christie, katherine, and i were like "fucking cliff!!!" he sat on our table on like the second week of school, when we still sat inside, and broke that damn thing. no wonder we started sitting outside, we were trying to escpe the wrath of cliff+tosh. what a team. anyway, the three of us ran after that motherfucker. he was wearing this big purple hat, and i don't know how we managed to, but somehow we lost him. it was sad. but on our way down cooper, we saw a beautiful boy so we went and stood next to him for like 5 minutes. it was fun. he was really fucking pretty. the prettiest boy at the whole festival. and too bad we are the only 3 who got to see that pretty damn boy. so we mosied back over to the rest of the group, who were standing around with lauren, sophie, jeff, elise, and possibly some of elise's other friends? christie and katherine took off, elise and co. took off, and jenny and rocio went to walk around while elizabeth, brock, lauren, jeff, sophie, and i had dinner at young ave deli. it was not crowded, which i was surprised, but very pleased, to see. i had a cheeseburger because they weren't serving my favorite hot dog dish on the menu, because of the festival and the crowd and whatnot. wahhh. brock and i hung out by the jukebox, which felt very Rock. i reenacted the kill hannah jukebox moment, that was exciting. we picked "debaser," "a day in the life," and "jungle boogie." what a playlist. unfortunately, we had to leave before they played them. aww. it was an okay dinner, but really short compared to what i'm used to. lauren had to get picked up, though, or something. jeff and sophie didn't order anything, because they weren't hungry anyway. it was strange. sophie hugged me though, and said things like "i love you! i miss you! i need to see you more often!" which was really funny to me. i barely said but 3 words to her through the whole thing, i think, which wasn't really on purpose but i probably should've been nicer. jeff seems like a nice guy, but i always get the impression that he's just simply being a nice guy by being wherever he is, rather than "i'm having fun here." i just haven't seen him in the right situations, i guess. maybe that dinner just felt especially short because i was nowhere near done eating when we left. i had like 30 gazillion fries left, even though they were really damn good. i also had half a fucking hamburger and an entire coke (no refill, either). we started walking along cooper, towards union, when we spotted william and becca again. i think lauren had already disappeared, by then, and after a couple minutes of talking brock was like "alanna how are we getting home?" (and by home, he meant my house. i LOVE it that he invites himself over. i LOVE that. to me, that is pure closeness with someone. when you assume that you're going to be with them all day long, until someone makes you leave. i love it.) anyway. william VERY CHEERILY volunteered. i was really surprised, because lately i have heard some things about his stand-offishness towards becca's friends. and he did that big gushery smile, which is actually very cute. it was very happy. elizabeth, jenny, and rocio kind of disappeared, i don't remember any formal goodbye ceremonies. william and becca were leaving c-y at the same time, anyway, so it wouldn't REALLY have mattered who took us back home, except it did. it really made the rest of the night, if you know what i mean. it dealt that damn deck. it closed that damn deal. it was fucking good. william had parked in a REALLY WEIRD spot, that was blocks and blocks away from the north block-off on cooper. when we lived on felix, we just walked from home obviously. (felix is one street over from young.) we've normally just parked on felix in years since. parking on the west side of cooper just makes much more sense to me. but william had parked like. i don't know. it was insane. it was right next to east parkway, only blocks and blocks from the actual festival. and he got a ticket for parking there anyway. ANYWAY i'm not complaining about the walk, because it was quite exciting. brock threw this wad of my never-ending hamburger at william and he refused to believe that it wasn't me. he had a big ketchup on his back too. ahha oh funny. i had a lot of fun being silly with william tonight. it was nice, and i enjoyed his company lots. i pelted becca with little bits of hamburger. not ketchupy ones, though. she had on a very nice shirt, with a little strappy back thing. and at some point i think her feet were hurting (barefootness) so william piggy-backed her the rest of the way. for some reason, brock was carrying my coke (which got more spilled than sipped) and he started to flick it on becca's back. she was like "it's raining!!" all cute and happy. it was really funny. i died laughing. ohh i'm mean. oh well, it was too much fun. so william tried to take a detour to my house. he said it was "the long way" anyway, but he was trying to avoid the traffic for some huge game that was happening. we ended up in ghettoville. we got laughted at and dissed by more black people than you could count on all your limbs. it was great fun. to counter the rap attack of the surrounding windows-down vehicles, we blasted yeah yeah yeahs, dandy warhols, squirrel nut zippers, and an assortment of strange ethnic songs. though we were taking the detour, we were still stuck in AWFUL traffic for like 6 blocks of pain. it was so much fun. william played a cover of "mr. grieves" for me by this band called TV on the Radio. i've heard stories that he's very snobbish about music in his car and usually refuses to tell people the names of bands he's listening to. i don't know, but that was NOT the case tonight. i loved the cover, and he played at least one other song by the band. i really liked it, said so, and he told me he'd make me a copy of the cd. when he dropped us off at my house (finally) he actually handed me his cd though. it was really nice. also, as soon as brock and i got out of the car, it started to rain. so we ended up dancing in it for like 20 minutes. it was too much fun. we attempted to tango down my driveway, and brock mutilated his foot. i didn't think he was as hurt as implied by the bruise he sported later in the evening, however. poor brock's foot. i'm sending my good karma to that piece of shit. anyway we danced all around the driveway, ran down the street, jumped around in the beautiful light of a streetlamp, and splashed around in this great, massive, deep puddle that always forms across the street from my house in a dip in the road. it was great. not only did brock sing shakira and shake his ass, he dragged me down the driveway twice. we attempted a leg-lift thing. fwhaha. hijinx ensue. and they were great. rain is too much fun. we came inside absolutely soaking. somehow my family didn't even notice that we'd been at home for a while, and they didn't question our wetness at all. they just assumed that we got THAT wet coming from the car into the house i guess. ahahaha oh well. i didn't say anything about dancing around outside because it felt like something too special to just proclaim like that, i guess. it was really beautiful though. i want to swing dance. i love the feeling of being wet and i love how people look when they're wet, especially at night and wearing their normal clothes. to me, it's just so eerie and out of place-ish that it makes them resemble pixies or something, i don't know. it's just otherworldly. i don't know how to explain it. but i love the feeling of being wet, still, in the big comfiness of the dry house, in dry clothes, but still essentially very wet. the comfy feeling might have also come out of the fact that i put on my pajamas and everything. brock had to borrow my dad's shorts HAHAHAHAAHHAAHHAAHAHHAAHAHAH anyway i had wanted to have another windowsill kinda night, but that wasn't going to happen what with the rain. we ended up falling into the coziness of the couch, because that really did feel like the appropriate place to exist, with our wet. morgan and mom were about to watch "blow dry" which the family minus morgan had watched last night. i didn't mind seeing it again, it was a fun movie. featuring josh hartnett the fetus. we had popcorn, which is always very happy because i'm still not used to our genius new microwave. i was glad that brock's mom let him stay for the whole movie. at one point, dad was like "so, brock, are you spending the night?" and usually when he makes silly, off comments/questions they annoy me. but that one made me happy, just knowing that it wouldn't have been an issue for my parents, even if it is for his. and i wish it wasn't. the night would've been perfect times 10 if he could have. it had the comfy feeling that spending the night would've been just heavenly. oh well, we have a lot of homework to do tomorrow, so even if his parents weren't Issued, they might not have let him. before he left, we looked around for his lost wallet but had no luck. unfortunate. he needs to go get his new permit so that he can get his license before they run away and leave us for cordova's skank ass. oh yeah, good time speech auditions are tomorrow. PLEASE guys, come try out. this play is going to be fun and strange, and they need lots of people for it. ahaha i don't even know if i'm going to go yet. but pleeeease go. i guarantee a great time, whether or not you're really into theatre (which i am NOT). uhh. i can't think of anything nice to say to end this post.
today i appreciated my shortness and group-hopped lots and loved to dance. i've been drinking this root beer for fucking 4 hours or something. okay literally more like .... 4. ahahah shit.
listening to: squirrel nut zippers - ghost of stephen foster
Wednesday, September 10, 2003
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