usually i remember trips as
drinking acid
counting 4 dead creatures on the side of the road
trying to convince my family
how good this album is
i will remember this trip because we all
(my grandmother + her son + his 2 daughters)
talked for an hour or so
we covered all the bases
she asked (as usual) if the boys are cute
and she made me tell her all about brock
even though i said over and over that he's just a good friend
she asked (as usual) how school is going
and whether or not we like it
and if the boys are cute
we talked about it all
and she said
--and this is pretty much a direct quote
from an elderly eccentric bible-thumping baptist republican woman--
"it doesn't matter how much money you make
as long as you enjoy what you're doing"
and she told us about how "[grand]Daddy never
made much money but
he did a lot of good for the forest"
i can imagine him young + dashing
with his 50s haircut, cleft chin, and dimples
(minus the wrinkles)
sitting in a tower above thousands of trees
making urgent calls on an ancient rotary telephone
warning the other foresters of a fire brewing
having drinks afterwards with smoky the bear and all the rangers
but he would just have a ginger ale, please, because he's a good christian
and i am so proud of my
elderly eccentric bible-thumping baptist republican grandparents
and i sleep soundly that night
the next day i am sitting on the patio and granny asks
if i've considered going into nursing
because of course i'm a woman, so i can't be a real doctor
and of course i'll meet a nice man when i'm just 21, almost ripe for medical school
but i won't even need to go because we'll get married right off
and i'll pop out a couple great-grandkids for granny
and i'll be able to live off his good money as a nice secure house-wife home-mom
she doesn't even give me time to answer her question
she never really wants an answer when she asks
she would rather just answer this herself
and think that i am living how she wants me to live
of course i can't tell her about
my secularity
my bisexuality
my liberal politics
my loud punk music
my artsy weekend nights
my open-mic open-mind poetry
because of course she doesn't want to know