so you cough against the black green board
because you still can't turn around
eyes are always waiting
like they want Something from you
just for existing there
and Something is too hard to swallow
so you just stand around and swallow
air like it is life
that's funny
because it is, you know
it's just oxygen
so it's all you can do to breathe
and skim your bitten-down nails
over a bitter black green sea
and it scratches not any ocean
but your own surface
and waiting for some girl to drop her hanky
for you to rush in
because that's what they said
you just never thought you'd find
some tissue wet and sticky with blood
waiting on your doorstep
and this substitute won't cut it
so you'll just bend like a willow
weeping to the wind
and watch a line of ants crawl by
you see a castle in the sky
and you wonder how to get there
you found some stairs, but made of air
that's funny
because you know it's just oxygen
so it's all you can do to breathe
and step by step
you're going up