lately i keep hearing what is good about me
but you know
i can't let myself forget all this bad
i was told that i am
a beautiful dancer
i was told that i am
full of grace
but i can't move the way i want
can't move people's minds
i was told that i have
beautifully thick raven hair
i was told that i have
good cheekbones
but i can't stand to see pictures of myself
can't stand to look in the mirror
i was asked what i have
been doing lately?
i was asked if i have
a boyfriend yet?
nope. sorry. not yet.
sorry to disappoint you again
still alanna
still a lonely little girl
i'm sorry, papa
no one ever taught me how to throw a ball around
no one ever taught me how to wear make-up
no one ever taught me to want to
i'm sorry, granny
i'm not a christian and i'm not getting married
i'm not having children
and my sexuality is ambiguous
i'm sorry, mama
i think your daughter's crazy
i think you brought your january baby
back into the warmth, in out of the cold
but in her mind she's still freezing in the snow
mama mama make me better
because i don't know what to do
still alone