my skin gets cold
my vision blurs
my heart jumps
i feel fuzzy
i feel dizzy
i feel broken up
i feel useless/worthless/pathetic
i feel angry
i feel unsteady
my whole body tenses
time stops
i can't focus
my eyes dance around - i can't focus
i feel hell
i hate myself for looking
i get intrusive visuals of them fucking
i feel like the world is closing in
when i see his eyes i feel trapped
i become small
i try to disappear
rage rage rage
i hate him so fucking much
i just want to spit on his stupid face
i fear the patterns i developed because of him, the ones i learned from him
i want to change
i want to be free
i want it to be over
i feel desperate
i want revenge
i want him to hurt
i fear these feelings
i fear what this has done to me
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