Friday, November 07, 2003

HAPPY ARE MY MIND AND MY SOUL
AND MY HEART


frank can sing me away any day. god i love him. god i do. i have gotten extreme shivers listening to this song. usually it makes me really happy, but since i already wasn't in a good mood, it did that thing where you listen to a happy love song and get really depressed because it's never going to be you. shit i hate that. it happens way too much to me. i wish it didn't. i'm such a jealous loser.

listening to: frank black - speedy marie
i feel my weekend swirling down the drain. katherine came over for like 30 minutes to edit, and that has been the only good thing to happen so far. i'm depressed. i'm going to good time speech at 8 (EVERYONE COME!) so hopefully that will make me happier. i don't know. man i don't want a shitty three-day weekend... come the fuck on.

listening to: erase errata - ease on over
When Doves Cry
"When Doves Cry" (by Prince)
How could you just leave me standing,
Alone in a world so cold?
Maybe you're just too demanding.
Maybe I'm just like my father--too bold.
Maybe you're just like my mother.
She's never satisfied.
Why do we scream at each other?
This is what it sounds like,
When doves cry.


Which 80's Song Fits You?
brought to you by Quizilla


ew i hate this song.

Thursday, November 06, 2003

suddenly had the urge to blog.... yesterday someone asked me if i was brock's little sister. HAHAHA.
he drove me and his mom home. it was tres cute. i can't wait for him to get his license. he's so excited. we hung out at his house and did homework, then we had to be at school at 5:45 to usher for the play. we also had to wear all black. brock loaned me this huge shirt, which he said was cute because of its hugeness. then i remembered i had my rasputina t-shirt in my backpack, and put that on under his shirt, like a jacket thing. but he was doing that subtle brock thing and i could tell he really didn't want me to wear his shirt. it was sad. so i took it off, and froze to death all night long. but whatever if he didn't want me to wear it. i think he's been thinking about how we look to people we don't know.... probably like we're dating. and so of course he wouldn't want me to wear his clothes or touch him or anything ever. it is not good to look as though you are dating alanna. no sir. anyway it turns out the play didn't start until 7. what the fuck?! we went to wendy's with the techies. i really don't understand why they need so many people on tech, and then six ushers. it's really ridiculous. there are like 15 people on tech, and most of them seriously can't be doing much of anything. and they did the classic tech thing of wakling around the auditorium during the show. i can't figure out why, eitehr. oh well. it was slightly okay because tim (tech director) would come back to me and brock in the back row and talk a little bit. the play was .............. awful. hands down. it was not funny at all. tim was like "no one is laughing!" so brock and i made it our job to laugh loudly. mrs. j apparently appreciated it. but after intermission, where we poured drinks, lauren h and allison were in the auditorium with us, and were talking loudly and laughing too fake and too long. mrs. j kept turning around and looking at us... i felt really bad. god that play was shit though. brock and i left early. we stood around in the cold for a few minutes and talked about the world as an egg and whatnot. brock and i talk a lot. i really like it. i like that we talk about all kinds of things for forever. then his mom drove me home, which was nice. i fell asleep doing my homework. again. god damn.
today i smiled really big at tim in the hall, and he waved all happy. oh it was nice. what was nicer today was LAYLEE. she made me SO happy... i can't even say. she was all touchy and adorable and telling me how cute i am constantly. and it's only true when laylee says it.
i should be doing english. fuck.

listening to: talking heads - pulled up
the queers are coming to the hi-tone. anyone up for going? i just figured i should announce it.
bonfire madigan is in nashville on tuesday night... sigh.

listening to: the sick lipstick - teenage robots
Aquarius
You should be dating an Aquarius.
20 January - 18 February
Your mate is communicative, thoughtful and caring.
Though he/she can be tactless and rude and
sometimes self-interested, he/she enjoys the
intellectual experience of sex.


What Zodiac Sign Are You Attracted To?
brought to you by Quizilla


hahaa shit i guess i answered too much like myself. where am i supposed to find another aquarius? i can't think of anyone anyway. i'm too lazy to take the quiz again though.

listening to: the selby tigers - droid

Tuesday, November 04, 2003

ohhh my i just finished wasteland and it is so beautiful and sad. please read it.

listening to: zoë keating - exurgency
man i feel guilty for not blogging in a few days. mannn now i feel like i can't say anything new without having to do catch-up shit. well.


holy shit i've been sitting here staring at those sentences for forever. it's now 5:30. i just can't write right now. oh well, i don't think anyone is reading this, so no one will mind. aha.

Monday, November 03, 2003

Saturday, November 01, 2003

brock just called and woke me up. gwahaha. i love him.
today, while not incredibly packed full of KOOKY halloween fun, was still a very good holiday day. i had a lot of chocolates. they were all mine. well, except for the kitkat and reese's on my windowsill (thankyou thankyou, loverboo). school was actually a pretty fast day. i don't really need to elaborate on that fact. afterwards, we took brock to his house for a change of clothes before coming back home. we had made plans to watch "rocky horror" and hang out with becca, kevin, and laylee. after sitting around here and at sonic for a bit, we called each of them, and both said they'd call when we had real plans. so brock and i just walked around the neighborhood for a while. we ended up on union, and nearly walked to cooper-young, but it was almost dark, so i'm glad we didn't. plus we would've been stuck with no bags for trick-or-treating, and that is sad. we also almost sang for candy, in place of costumes. brock and i do this thing where if one of us has an idea, the other one gets really enthusiastic, and the first one backs down, so it doesn't happen. this is a frequent occurence in the stunning lives on alanna and brock. believe you me. so we just walked back home, and looked for costumes, mostly to no avail. i got stuck briefly in belle's (6-year-old) ballgown from disney's beauty and the beast. it was pretty terrific. i couldn't breathe. brock put on a hat, which became loaded down with lots of items such as shawls, skirts, other hats, wings. i didn't find anything. so we sat around some more and handed out candy. our first batch thought we were a 30-year-old, married couple. it was super hot. we told them we were only 20.
eventually, i called becca again and she was very upset. apparently laylee and kevin had just decided to skip out on our evening's plans, for no reason becca could find. it was very weird. i also called laylee and kevin, but i couldn't get them to tell me what was up. i still don't know. at any rate, it was a very weird phone cal, and i hope they had a good evening, whatever they were doing. when becca and daniell (almost randomly) showed up, we still hadn't found anything good. so i threw on basically whatever i was handed: a tan trenchcoat, captain underpants shirt, strange red and black pants, broken sunglasses, and snakeskin platforms. brock's monument sort of collapsed, so he just wore the basic hat. in a way, i was a crackhead and he was the ghost of a parisian hat model. it turned out rather nicely. becca had on very cool eye makeup, an adorable hat, a skirt as a strapless dress, and fishnet stockings on her arm. we just went out for dinner at glass onion, which was becca's suggestion. she had been there a few months ago, and they've changed the menu since: it's more expensive, and not as good? i think we waited for the food much longer than we actually ate it. brock basically picked and ordered my food. jesus i'm pathetic. it was nice and all, but didn't feel like festive at all. brock described it later as being very adult, which NOBODY is on halloween. it was really cool getting to hang out with becca and daniell, but it also felt very serious and whatnot, probably in part because becca was upset about the laylee and kevin thing. and this very strange breed of people-watching/commenting. i don't know what to think about all that. HOWEVER brock pushed me around in a shopping cart. and that was not very adult. we were just going to leave it where we parked the car, but these creepy women on their porch were like "take that back to the other carts. don't leave it in my front yard. take it back to your own front yard. take it back to where you found it." if i had been the one pushing the cart, i probably would've been pissed off and REALLY put it in her damn yard. but brock is a sweet boy. so he wheeled it far away. wow.
we (except for brock) had made plans to see a special showing of "beetlejuice" at midnight. brock's mom wouldn't let him go, though. it's too bad. by now it was around 9:15, and i don't really understand why, but daniell had to take me and brock back to my house, and she and becca went back to her house. we mostly ... sat around. shortly after we got home, mom came home from the opening night of good time speech. hallelujah, glory be. at some point, brandon called. it was sort of weird because he called on the cell, so brock couldn't get on the phone too, and i couldn't talk to them at the same time. the conversation would've been much better if i hadn't been worried about brock being bored out of his mind. actually at one point tonight, while we were waiting for brock's mom to come pick him up, i mentioned something about not wanting him to be bored and all this, and i was fiddling with the kitkat wrapper. when i finally looked up at him, he was making this "OH NO YOU DI'INT!" face. it was great. and we had a quasi-conversation about it. his first reaction was "what else would i be doing?!" which wasn't all that comforting. but then he was like "i don't get bored! do you get bored?!" and i was like "no!" but the thing i REALLY liked that he said was that he couldn't sit around and do basically nothing with anyone else. and if he was out somewhere doing, he'd most likely be feeling left out of the conversation or be worried about something. and that was really nice. i don't know why.
goddess cat jumped out of the window while brock and i were windowsillin it. actually she was just sitting on it until we came back into my room, and brock stood on the bed, and she freaked out and ran off into the night. i was really nervous, because of the things people to do black cats on halloween. i shimmied through the window and peckled around through the underbrush but to no avail. i looked by the back door. nothing. no kittie. i decided not to worry about it because she always comes back always, even if it's been weeks. as soon as brock left, i walked back into my room and she bounded onto the bed. what a supercat. truly a goddess.
then i sort of took a short breath before becca, daniell, and william showed up for "beetlejuice." i like william SO much more than i used to, it isn't even funny. he really is a good kid. i wish i had more to say to daniell, we are very quiet around each other. it was really great getting to watch that movie at midnight on halloween with costumes and lovelies. nice nice. i wish laylee and kevin had come though. afterwards, we just basically drove around for half an hour or something, which was great. i always like when nights just piddle to a close instead of "SHIT IS DONE, BYE NOW!" also, william says "oh my shit" a lot, which is something elise says that i hate. i'm guessing she got it from him. i knew she got it from somewhere, i just never knew where. it was also really strange when william said "oh, that's happy." i was like aha nuts. we nearly drove to st. louis so that we could have bagels for breakfast. but we ran out of gas.
wow i love that i've just stumbled back home.

Friday, October 31, 2003

CANDY ON MY WINDOWSILL!!!!!!!
HAPPY HALLOWEEN EVERYONE!!!

shit i forgot to blog about chris earlier. remind me someone.

Thursday, October 30, 2003

hooray for every day better than the last! it was just a kind of slick lay-back day. the sky is sooo blue and the clouds are so beautiful. we spent time observing them at lunch. lovely. brock and i sang "i color the sky with you, i let you choose the blue!" a few times. kevin loved it. i love kevin.
whitney and amber sat at the table again today, so that was different. plus, katherine is still sick and nisha sat with other people, so the set up was very different. i guess the change was nice and all. i've decided i don't like sitting with so few people, because then there's usually only one conversation happening at one time. if there were other people i could escape into something else when talked turned away from my interests. brock is very big on being involved, so he always wants to stay in the large group conversation. he and i talked a little bit alone, because amber and whitney were mostly talking to sallis. i remember that they said one thing that really bothered me, but i can't remember what. ah well. maybe i should start doodling.
in chemistry i just barely finished my test. in algebra i was nowhere near finishing my quiz. it really pisses me off that i know what i'm doing and i couldn't finish. why am i so slowwww? oh well.
mr. munter apologized for calling me robin. AHAHAHA.
robin forgot her glasses today. she is so damn cute! i want to marry her. also things with brock were really nice today. nice boy.
wenli gave me a turtle's gift card for $10 just for helping out with her french video. WOW what a nice girl. thankyouthankyouthankyouthankyou to wenli. jesus christ.
in a time when i've felt like a really evil, selfish person, look how bethany describes me: "You're so sweet. You're just a big, fat teddy bear." i mean wow. how's that for polar opposite? i was thinking today about how i must appear entirely different to a different people. it's nuts. anyway, bethany also said she misses my "scratchy voice and insistent debates. I miss being yelled at (not that I enjoy that), but arguing was so fun! I feel all nostalgic. Look what you made me do! Poofter." aww. i miss yelling at you, bethany.
i have had a stomach ache all day. this is not cool. i hope i don't have what katherine has.

listening to: rasputina - my little shirtwaist fire

Wednesday, October 29, 2003

brock and i had a classicly brilliant brock-alanna phone call tonight. he called because he was depressed about the stupid english project, and he wanted to forget about how he should have been working. i'm not sure when he called, but we talked for a long time. and it was one of those calls where each of you says "i have to go" like five kamillion times over the space of an hour. it's great. it made my night five kamillion times better. thank you, brock love. i missed our long talk. it's going in my biography.
WHO IS UP FOR LIBRARY PARTY?
we are doing this shit. saturday or sunday. come on kids. get in here.
there's a huge gooey spot of GOO on that little buggity bite on my chest. i finally showed me mater. woo i love her. she said she was going to send me to druggie school. i remember when i used to leap around the house in the morning, before school. she'd call me a gazelle, and i would pretend to hate it.
OH MAH GOD I AM IN LOVE WITH BRIE CHEESE
FULLY FLEXIBLE, YOU SEE. IS THERE ONE AS SWEET AS ME?
(dantier, smarter, better dressed.)
ANTIQUE HIGH HEEL RED DOLL SHOES!

pick me up for heaven sakes
aren't i your baby cakes?

listening to: RASPUTINA, MUTHAFUCKA!