6/7/2021, 1:51pm
sidewalk squat to get a picture of a gutter egg
two doors down real live robin puddle sputtering full robin
and here’s these sticks
the sticks of men
there’s a dead bird
a dead bird in the yard of hte sticks of men , oh god
he had a lawn and it killed them all
the dogs dog dogs dogs with some paws ouch oh jesus
i’m not ever gonna get used to this - what if i - okay
i don’t know if they can still here me
these dogs these dogs noses and paws
tj’s tryin to wiggle away fey
they never liekd it how i rhymed
those are cute, little flowers
happy you’ll be or the service is free! that must be what i sound like.
ooh that one’s got a worm
who grows english ivy on purpose??
and grass
i mean i’ll never understand
(chimes)
(whisper) you don’t mow clover, you don’t know no bird
humm hummm
probably something about how grass is poison
ugh there’s so much of it now that i’ma ctually looking
this one’s grass, this one’s grass, this one’s grass
that’ss got half clover
i like ethis house, they’ve got prayer flags and a door that’s painted light blue and bright yellow, like really robins’ egg blue, like a grey blue
(singing) true true robins’ egg blue, green roof, sweet tooth
sigh ohhhh
waht about this? it’s grass! ohhh and they have presidents sign
still
guess you’re pretty proud
weugh
dump
get outta there, that’s poopoo
sister’s in the sidewalk (scissors?)
(wind)
these birds are gone nuts
truly
nearly flyin into my head
all the time
tomatoes?
not yet, just green, just leaf on the
what is that thing called, it’s not a trellis really, it’s just some wires, wire stacker
come!
is it raining?
Teej!
an attempt at a bamboo fence
they gave up fast
(car loudly passing)
it’s okay tj - good boy, good boy!
(singing WHY? song) “every time i see a honda civic, my heart just jumps right through”
um let’s cross real quick so i can put your poopie in the trash
smells like a cigarette
oh dear
that
is
not good
is this glass?
DON’T EAT THAT IT’S ANTS (trashcan lid slams)
COME COME
“and i don’t wanna dance with yr shadow no more, uh-uh! or listen through an elephant’s ear for your whispers into the other”
(deep sigh)
TJ? you gon be good now - bobo - come on.
(dog panting)
what is it? oy vey.
you like this circle?
pink!
they’re not hyrdagenas are they? these bubbles
these not what mom’s looks liek anyway
bubbles
daffos
porch swing
brick face
(train call)
oh i guess i wanted to say that --- AGUh you can’t just run intot he street buddy!
MAN this piece of shit stopped
recording at some pointi dont know when
it’s really fuckin annoying is it still recording?
do i have to be on here? well
let’s try again augh now i’m irritable because i said a bunch of stuff
SIGH this is what always happens
i can’t rely on technology, pen and paper’s the only thing
TJ you gotta calm down dude.
good boy…
NO.
okay
well. if i said it and i guess it’s doesnt matter anymore. sigh.
but what i was actually had forgot to say from the very beginning, with the egg adn all, the blue egg was um… i dont know, yeah, i didn’t look at my phone first thing when i woke up, i went straight to morning pages
taht felt good even though i was berating myself a bit in there, it wasn’t that bad comparatively, ‘spose.
uh
and then i
mm
then i got soft with ellie who was asleep on the couch and that was very nice and we were soft together
and then aft- -- made a egg
and we talked about my class and my words
basically what i’m trying to say is, i ddin’t get on my phone at all,
i wasn’t reading the dumbass headlines,
nor did i play any phone games!
aaand it felt good
and talking to ellie about where i’m at with my class was really nice
as always, they’re super encouraging
and -- you know, but no nonsense, like they’re like you know, you said, they said,
“you’ve been training your whole life for this!”
when i was talking about how the lyric essay is a really hard (laughing sigh) week one assignment in essay class - lyric essay! jesus! dump us right into the deep end!
but also though, it’s called full experiment status, like do whatever the fuck, so
i can see why she did it like this but
also i’m intimdidated because i’m . me
i suppose it’s osmething i’m choosing
(dog collar shakes)
what is it? huh!?
they found a leaf
i betcha this has stopped recording alreadgy
is it still going? hmm! shock
(singing) you don’t mow clover, you don’t know no bird
poison! i dont’ know if y’all got to hear that part
(dogs barking in distance)
grass - is poison.
there was a robin dead in the grass
not another two doors down from the puddle sputterer
maybe there’s a better word for that
ssss - ‘s not splashing
splashing is flatter
(birds singing)
sssss
(dogs panting)
seems like an s word
Teej! sit bobo! buddyyy
calm down a minute buddy
NOPE sit!
caaaalm down
we’re okay
buddy!
okay. here we go!
auuuwgoihhhoihh lordy
heel, buddy!
(dogs panting)
stop! sit!
what’s this a football jacket?
it’s a leaf
(giggle)
oh here’s this nastiness
(birds singing)
(deep sigh)
bumper sticker
death
of hte army
i will
keep wanting to take a picture of that
but i have not got a good
chance because these little dogs
and i guess i’m self conscious
but it’s called they have a big sign in the yard called
(voice) MY SON IS MAKING A DIFFERENCE GO ARMY DOT COM
and then ammm,, occassionally, not always, there’s a truck
parked in the yard that seems like, i assume it belongs to the son
and has the worst bumper stickers you’ve ever seen
such as one is a picture of hte joker
that says
(voice) are things getting crazier out there or is it just me?
like the longest words on a bumper sticker you’ve ever seen
TJ! Sit! Tj! Sit! TJ…. that’s a truck! it’s gonna be okay.
TJ sit
good boy
good boy
okay
heeere we go
(singing) you don’t mow clover, you don’t know no bird
don’t mow clover
……
(dogs panting)
know no bird
(cars approaching, leashes rustle, dog panting)
oh shit i forgot ot ask stacy about getting a quote
it’s okay tj, it’s okay buddy, we’re okay, everything’s fine
hi, oh okay thanks
(truck rumbling)
it’s alright buds
(truck entering drieway)
y’all got it
yr very good boys
it’s a boy, welcoem calvin
well lucky you, calvin!
TEEJ. Stop for a second it’s okay! TJ! Sit!
he aint gonna
oh, and punch was squeaking all the way down the block
i could hear her
in the backya -- oh there she is again!
it’s, was the chickens but, id ont’ know
oops shit my mask
buddyyy it’s okay
wooops
(dogs panting)
good boys!
phew i’m just as thirsty as y’all i htink
shoot
(keys jangle)
you don’t mow clover, you don’t know no bird
(wooshing door opens)
good boys!
oops
peppy you’re tryin to trip me up, here at he end
here we go
cmon !
(leashes jangle and peppy runs up the stairs)
(panting)
good boy TJ good boy heyyy
heyy buddy good boy
(big crackle)
oops! shoot
(calling upstairs) that was just my phone falling
(in the distance “oh okay”)
(lots and ltos of horrible rustling)
(door squeaks open and birds are back)
(humming and crackling)
(keys jangle and engines starts.)
(radio comes on - it’s Modern Girl on WEVL)
(burp)
mmk.
6/9/2021, 1:28pm
somethin bout faces in the
degredations of the telephone pole wood
feathers melting into plastic
sidewalk crack plant
disguised as a
severed squirrel’s tail
upright
u-shaped
(birds, train)
now i can’t unsee it
every
spot
(wind chimes)
is just death
aughhghgh dark
she lets her dogs drink out of the STREET
damn i was afraid of being judged and now i’m the fuckin one doing the judging
shit though
that street swill?
oil slick
bug egg filled
bug sac larvae mosquito babies
sssstill, stagnant
probably just more full of DEATH
full of death, oil, fossils, bones
(wind)
dead bug dead bird messt
oh it was my favorite thing as a kid tho
the stream, the gutter stream?
oooh this one’s got a real live worm in it!
is it a earthworm, should we save it?
i can’t figure what that thing is
ewghoghuh
she let her dogs drink that!
(whispers) she can probably hear me oh god
i don’t think it was a earthworm so i didn’t save it that thing was nasty
twisting and pink but it had like a little white HEAD
ewogughh and skinny thin
too pink really
huhmmm
maybe those are those creepy jumping worms i read about - invasive worms
yeah i loved that gutter stream when i was a kid
and i loved it
a couple days ago when that bird was bathing in it but fuck that’s probably what killed the bird!
what else is in here?
ooh i’m bout ta walk by the exact puddle
TJ’s bein a goddamn asshole today
i’ve got the damn vest back on and i forgot
he is a lot worse with the pulling
uh-uh! TJ!
eeguuhh this one isn’t even a whole puddle
(car loudly passes)
and she was letting them drink out of
cmere buddies, good boys!
i just have to look at this.
sticks, rocks
very brown
augh jesus!
(dog snarl)
okay. i
don’t feel that all dogs are equal in my eyes
i know that’s fucked up
i don’t
like most of them i am discovering
or slash have always known and pretended
was not true for a while when i tried to work at the humane society and be around dogs
and ehehehehehheh i’m a profesional dog walker eheheheh
this might be my problem
i’m indifferent to most of them
i just am
uh-uh! cmon!
and
there are quite a few
that i actively dislike
and this dog is one of them
TJ!
it’s not good
i’m not enjoying this job
anymore i used to really enjoy my walks with pep
we’d sing, we’d talk
ya know, i didn’t always love it either
i’m not gonna lie
i definitely was way over it last summer
err i mean 2019 summer
ahh it was too fuckin hot
you know, dah dah dah, there’s a lotta reasons
but this dog
is really bad
as in, untrained
and
oh new mama it’s calvin, gasp!
congratulations calvin i said the other day
mama’s movin real slow
oh we’ve got two other kids here
we got a little tiny baby
‘ts okay, cmon bubs
they look happy
the other girls are maybe 8
mama looks FUCKIN exhausted
this is a brand new thing
she’s not in the mood
she’s fakin it
dad’s proud
(whisper) wish i could hear what they’re saying
(clomps up steps)
okayyy
(dog collar shakes)
(singing) can’t escape i get blown away
(keys jangle)
good boys! okay
here we go, buddies
(clomp clomp)
good boys
(gate slides open)
(velcro crunch, leashes jangle)
good boy, peppy!
(clomp clomp, keys, door)
wow even more people showed up for this picture now
they’ve got mama and babe
(car door opens)
kids on the step
they’re lookin at me cuz i came outta that house!
i don’t know why here we go she said
(country radio “know before you gooo”)
the little girls are squatting on the floor now
probably lookin at bugs and grass and dirt!
little top buns
tank tops
rainbow and teal
sea foam green pants
got the baby got the
aunties i assume
maybe grandma here
ahh she looks exhausted
she’s got her chin up and out
as they teach a woman to do
when she gets her picture made
cuz you dont wanna show a double chin so you have to do this weird jut that doens’t re- right at all
when you’re looking at it over there from where my eyes are
(birds singing)
AUGH that was EXHAUSTING today
i feel like such a GRUMP
to be fair, i’m on my period, i’m cramping
i’m bleugh i’m bloody i just wanna be in the bed
i just wanna lay on the couch play yoshi’s island
like fully full disclosure there
(turn signal)
AUGH it’s hot
my car thermometer thermostat says that iti s 79 degrees which means that, i mean really summer aint even here yet
if you think about it
don’t think about it, you’re gonna be fucking miserable
you knwo the bummerest (bummerest?) thing about this metal museum job
if i end up getting which i
not counting on
specially since i haven’t sent my fucking email yet
umm
is that i don’t think i can quit
i definitely can’t i mean it’s only
what did we come up with
see
14? 15? hours a week?
(turn signal)
i can’t live on that
so i’m definitely gonna have to keep doing this
or something
(loud driving)
it’s exhausting
“honey” does not wanna do it, and i don’t wanna make her do it because this is yeah
i mean we’ll see what happens with
doctor appointment today
about her gut
(turn signal)
(drink water and sigh)
maybe i would like it better
you know, t-- cori had asked me about
walking them seperately and how much would that cost
(turn signal)
i don’t wanna accidentally hurt this dog is the thing
and i dont them to hurt me, my fuckin hand!
a couple weeks ago
was definitely from these dog pullin things
eghhhhh
i dont know why i’m still recording this
i’m r- fully bored
i can turn it off if i can get to it
at this red light
(hums)
(singing) red light!
6/10/2021, 1:49pm
and boots upturned in the back of the truck
mud boots
work boots
muddy work boots, that’s too many
pink plastic pen trash
plastic plastic trash
everything a corpse
lottsa gays out today
grey
gays on a grey day
gaze upon a grey day
(birds singing)
pride month, grey day
is it to bring the color?
hey buddy! hello dog
(barking)
uh-uh! Pep! no way
oh there’s another one
that’s a very dead
let’s see
i gotta getta picture
(cars pass, dogs bark)
um also
this security truck?
there’s gotta be a new guy because
this is the fastest i’ve ever seen a security guy drive, like
in this neighborhood anyway
he’s goin like a full 30 !
all, you know
he turns on the block, down,
stop turn
and he’s already comin back the other way before i’ve even gotten two doors down
oh look we’ve turned i didn’t even notice
that peppy has found a secret way home
called, we’ve gone down the alley
even though we have all this time left
i really thought he’d be pleased to be on walks by himself but maybe he’s
maybe he thinks that tj’s getting something he’s not, maybe he thinks he’s getting some fuckin snacks, people food time
crunch
i like these gravel
grey
gay on a grey day
fences with dog windows
is that a new (turn??)
mmmm hmm!
oh woops what was the other one
about
that robin i saw
the one with the worm after i saw the dead one
the feeling of
no, mellah, don’t don’t do it
that worm probably is covered in round up
ooh that is a bad poop
what have you
gahd everything’s poison
what the hell did you eat
(bag crackles)
he was eating grass as soon as we
got outta the house
yuck!
cmon bobo i gotta try to pick up this puddle
(bag rustles loudly)
come here!! soup!
aw geez i almost landed my phone right in it
that woulda been funny
haha - would it have?
(bag crackles)
(dogs bark)
oh no
this is what we get in the alley anymore
i feel like it didn’t used to be so bad
(bag loudly crackles)
but is it just that peppy typically reacts
more calmly?
or is this called everyone got a pandemic dog?
hmm
(loud microphone blips)
dust to dust dust
what’s that?
ewughhh some kinda slime mold or something coool
(dogs going crazy)
or i could be wrong maybe it’s just
well no i don’t see anything
wow these dogs are fa-reaking out
hey buddies!
(bark bark bark, peppy pants)
i don’t know if it stopped again dangit
uhh
(quiet except for gravel crunching)
robins’ egg blue
grey blue, the color of, the grey sky - ish
(phone buzzes)
i’m not gonna try to theorize about what a color means
(dog leash jingles)
but an egg the color of the gravel
the sidewalk
what’s that a--
you know how chickens look liek the eggs they build? cook? coooook
wow that’s a lotta cigarette butts
yeah
(whispers) part of me wants to record whatever call i’m gonna have
that’s not a good idea
(humming)
my legs just wanna swing and sway today
i wanna stand on one leg and swing swing swing
ooooh that’s a good idea
remmeber you said that once? about
actually, lotsa people says it all the time
called, i have to move before i write
or you - or it helps anyway
there’s no you have to
everybody does a different dance but
the dance of moving is nice
maybe it has to either be one or the other -
moving first or sleeping
sleep, write
dance, write
la la la la la la, la la la la!
i always wanna do the thing where you come back around and change it
but
i don’t have anything to say in between
that’s the truggle of my
(sigh)
wishing to be cool
gays on a grey day
or
sleep right
write right
dance right
(jangly walking)
there’s no right way to dance
probably not to sleep, either
it’s all right
you dance, i’ll write
(humming)
i’ll just put em all in a row
(humming)
okay yeah
i’m goina stop
because i’m goina try to talk to this person
(singing in the car)
they were gone they were gone
who knows when i will see them again
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