Thursday, June 10, 2021

trascribed voice memos from my dog walks

6/7/2021, 1:51pm 


sidewalk squat to get a picture of a gutter egg

two doors down real live robin puddle sputtering full robin

and here’s these sticks

the sticks of men

there’s a dead bird

a dead bird in the yard of hte sticks of men , oh god

he had a lawn and it killed them all

the dogs dog dogs dogs with some paws ouch oh jesus

i’m not ever gonna get used to this - what if i - okay

i don’t know if they can still here me

these dogs these dogs noses and paws

tj’s tryin to wiggle away fey

they never liekd it how i rhymed

those are cute, little flowers

happy you’ll be or the service is free! that must be what i sound like.

ooh that one’s got a worm

who grows english ivy on purpose??

and grass

i mean i’ll never understand

(chimes)

(whisper) you don’t mow clover, you don’t know no bird

humm hummm

probably something about how grass is poison

ugh there’s so much of it now that i’ma ctually looking

this one’s grass, this one’s grass, this one’s grass

that’ss got half clover

i like ethis house, they’ve got prayer flags and a door that’s painted light blue and bright yellow, like really robins’ egg blue, like a grey blue

(singing) true true robins’ egg blue, green roof, sweet tooth

sigh ohhhh

waht about this? it’s grass! ohhh and they have presidents sign

still

guess you’re pretty proud

weugh

dump

get outta there, that’s poopoo

sister’s in the sidewalk (scissors?)

(wind)

these birds are gone nuts

truly

nearly flyin into my head

all the time

tomatoes?

not yet, just green, just leaf on the

what is that thing called, it’s not a trellis really, it’s just some wires, wire stacker

come!

is it raining?

Teej!

an attempt at a bamboo fence

they gave up fast

(car loudly passing)

it’s okay tj - good boy, good boy!

(singing WHY? song) “every time i see a honda civic, my heart just jumps right through”

um let’s cross real quick so i can put your poopie in the trash

smells like a cigarette

oh dear

that

is

not good

is this glass?

DON’T EAT THAT IT’S ANTS (trashcan lid slams)

COME COME

“and i don’t wanna dance with yr shadow no more, uh-uh! or listen through an elephant’s ear for your whispers into the other”

(deep sigh)

TJ? you gon be good now - bobo - come on.

(dog panting)

what is it? oy vey.

you like this circle?

pink!

they’re not hyrdagenas are they? these bubbles

these not what mom’s looks liek anyway

bubbles

daffos

porch swing

brick face

(train call)

oh i guess i wanted to say that --- AGUh you can’t just run intot he street buddy!

MAN this piece of shit stopped

recording at some pointi dont know when

it’s really fuckin annoying is it still recording?

do i have to be on here? well

let’s try again augh now i’m irritable because i said a bunch of stuff

SIGH this is what always happens

i can’t rely on technology, pen and paper’s the only thing

TJ you gotta calm down dude.

good boy…

NO.

okay

well. if i said it and i guess it’s doesnt matter anymore. sigh.

but what i was actually had forgot to say from the very beginning, with the egg adn all, the blue egg was um… i dont know, yeah, i didn’t look at my phone first thing when i woke up, i went straight to morning pages

taht felt good even though i was berating myself a bit in there, it wasn’t that bad comparatively, ‘spose.

uh

and then i

mm

then i got soft with ellie who was asleep on the couch and that was very nice and we were soft together

and then aft- -- made a egg

and we talked about my class and my words

basically what i’m trying to say is, i ddin’t get on my phone at all,

i wasn’t reading the dumbass headlines,

nor did i play any phone games!

aaand it felt good

and talking to ellie about where i’m at with my class was really nice

as always, they’re super encouraging

and -- you know, but no nonsense, like they’re like you know, you said, they said,

“you’ve been training your whole life for this!”

when i was talking about how the lyric essay is a really hard (laughing sigh) week one assignment in essay class - lyric essay! jesus! dump us right into the deep end!

but also though, it’s called full experiment status, like do whatever the fuck, so

i can see why she did it like this but

also i’m intimdidated because i’m . me

i suppose it’s osmething i’m choosing

(dog collar shakes)

what is it? huh!?

they found a leaf

i betcha this has stopped recording alreadgy

is it still going? hmm! shock

(singing) you don’t mow clover, you don’t know no bird

poison! i dont’ know if y’all got to hear that part

(dogs barking in distance)

grass - is poison.

there was a robin dead in the grass

not another two doors down from the puddle sputterer

maybe there’s a better word for that

ssss - ‘s not splashing

splashing is flatter

(birds singing)

sssss

(dogs panting)

seems like an s word

Teej! sit bobo! buddyyy

calm down a minute buddy

NOPE sit!

caaaalm down

we’re okay

buddy!

okay. here we go!

auuuwgoihhhoihh lordy

heel, buddy!

(dogs panting)

stop! sit!

what’s this a football jacket?

it’s a leaf

(giggle)

oh here’s this nastiness

(birds singing)

(deep sigh)

bumper sticker

death

of hte army

i will

keep wanting to take a picture of that

but i have not got a good

chance because these little dogs

and i guess i’m self conscious

but it’s called they have a big sign in the yard called

(voice) MY SON IS MAKING A DIFFERENCE GO ARMY DOT COM

and then ammm,, occassionally, not always, there’s a truck

parked in the yard that seems like, i assume it belongs to the son

and has the worst bumper stickers you’ve ever seen

such as one is a picture of hte joker

that says

(voice) are things getting crazier out there or is it just me?

like the longest words on a bumper sticker you’ve ever seen

TJ! Sit! Tj! Sit! TJ…. that’s a truck! it’s gonna be okay.

TJ sit

good boy

good boy

okay

heeere we go

(singing) you don’t mow clover, you don’t know no bird

don’t mow clover

……

(dogs panting)

know no bird

(cars approaching, leashes rustle, dog panting)

oh shit i forgot ot ask stacy about getting a quote

it’s okay tj, it’s okay buddy, we’re okay, everything’s fine

hi, oh okay thanks

(truck rumbling)

it’s alright buds

(truck entering drieway)

y’all got it

yr very good boys

it’s a boy, welcoem calvin

well lucky you, calvin!

TEEJ. Stop for a second it’s okay! TJ! Sit!

he aint gonna

oh, and punch was squeaking all the way down the block

i could hear her

in the backya -- oh there she is again!

it’s, was the chickens but, id ont’ know

oops shit my mask

buddyyy it’s okay

wooops

(dogs panting)

good boys!

phew i’m just as thirsty as y’all i htink

shoot

(keys jangle)

you don’t mow clover, you don’t know no bird

(wooshing door opens)

good boys!

oops

peppy you’re tryin to trip me up, here at he end

here we go

cmon !

(leashes jangle and peppy runs up the stairs)

(panting)

good boy TJ good boy heyyy

heyy buddy good boy

(big crackle)

oops! shoot

(calling upstairs) that was just my phone falling

(in the distance “oh okay”)

(lots and ltos of horrible rustling)

(door squeaks open and birds are back)

(humming and crackling)

(keys jangle and engines starts.)

(radio comes on - it’s Modern Girl on WEVL)

(burp)

mmk.



6/9/2021, 1:28pm


hmmm

somethin bout faces in the

degredations of the telephone pole wood

feathers melting into plastic

sidewalk crack plant

disguised as a

severed squirrel’s tail

upright

u-shaped

(birds, train)

now i can’t unsee it

every

spot

(wind chimes)

is just death

aughhghgh dark


she lets her dogs drink out of the STREET

damn i was afraid of being judged and now i’m the fuckin one doing the judging

shit though

that street swill?

oil slick

bug egg filled

bug sac larvae mosquito babies

sssstill, stagnant

probably just more full of DEATH

full of death, oil, fossils, bones

(wind)

dead bug dead bird messt

oh it was my favorite thing as a kid tho

the stream, the gutter stream?

oooh this one’s got a real live worm in it!

is it a earthworm, should we save it?

i can’t figure what that thing is

ewghoghuh

she let her dogs drink that!

(whispers) she can probably hear me oh god

i don’t think it was a earthworm so i didn’t save it that thing was nasty

twisting and pink but it had like a little white HEAD

ewogughh and skinny thin

too pink really

huhmmm

maybe those are those creepy jumping worms i read about - invasive worms

yeah i loved that gutter stream when i was a kid

and i loved it

a couple days ago when that bird was bathing in it but fuck that’s probably what killed the bird!

what else is in here?

ooh i’m bout ta walk by the exact puddle

TJ’s bein a goddamn asshole today

i’ve got the damn vest back on and i forgot

he is a lot worse with the pulling

uh-uh! TJ!

eeguuhh this one isn’t even a whole puddle

(car loudly passes)

and she was letting them drink out of

cmere buddies, good boys!

i just have to look at this.

sticks, rocks

very brown

augh jesus!

(dog snarl)

okay. i

don’t feel that all dogs are equal in my eyes

i know that’s fucked up

i don’t

like most of them i am discovering

or slash have always known and pretended

was not true for a while when i tried to work at the humane society and be around dogs

and ehehehehehheh i’m a profesional dog walker eheheheh

this might be my problem

i’m indifferent to most of them

i just am

uh-uh! cmon!

and

there are quite a few

that i actively dislike

and this dog is one of them

TJ!

it’s not good

i’m not enjoying this job

anymore i used to really enjoy my walks with pep

we’d sing, we’d talk

ya know, i didn’t always love it either

i’m not gonna lie

i definitely was way over it last summer

err i mean 2019 summer

ahh it was too fuckin hot

you know, dah dah dah, there’s a lotta reasons

but this dog

is really bad

as in, untrained

and

oh new mama it’s calvin, gasp!

congratulations calvin i said the other day

mama’s movin real slow

oh we’ve got two other kids here

we got a little tiny baby

‘ts okay, cmon bubs

they look happy

the other girls are maybe 8

mama looks FUCKIN exhausted

this is a brand new thing

she’s not in the mood

she’s fakin it

dad’s proud

(whisper) wish i could hear what they’re saying

(clomps up steps)

okayyy

(dog collar shakes)

(singing) can’t escape i get blown away

(keys jangle)

good boys! okay

here we go, buddies

(clomp clomp)

good boys

(gate slides open)

(velcro crunch, leashes jangle)

good boy, peppy!

(clomp clomp, keys, door)

wow even more people showed up for this picture now

they’ve got mama and babe

(car door opens)

kids on the step

they’re lookin at me cuz i came outta that house!

i don’t know why here we go she said

(country radio “know before you gooo”)

the little girls are squatting on the floor now

probably lookin at bugs and grass and dirt!

little top buns

tank tops

rainbow and teal

sea foam green pants

got the baby got the

aunties i assume

maybe grandma here

ahh she looks exhausted

she’s got her chin up and out

as they teach a woman to do

when she gets her picture made

cuz you dont wanna show a double chin so you have to do this weird jut that doens’t re- right at all

when you’re looking at it over there from where my eyes are

(birds singing)

AUGH that was EXHAUSTING today

i feel like such a GRUMP

to be fair, i’m on my period, i’m cramping

i’m bleugh i’m bloody i just wanna be in the bed

i just wanna lay on the couch play yoshi’s island

like fully full disclosure there

(turn signal)

AUGH it’s hot

my car thermometer thermostat says that iti s 79 degrees which means that, i mean really summer aint even here yet

if you think about it

don’t think about it, you’re gonna be fucking miserable

you knwo the bummerest (bummerest?) thing about this metal museum job

if i end up getting which i

not counting on

specially since i haven’t sent my fucking email yet

umm

is that i don’t think i can quit

i definitely can’t i mean it’s only

what did we come up with

see

14? 15? hours a week?

(turn signal)

i can’t live on that

so i’m definitely gonna have to keep doing this

or something

(loud driving)

it’s exhausting

“honey” does not wanna do it, and i don’t wanna make her do it because this is yeah

i mean we’ll see what happens with

doctor appointment today

about her gut

(turn signal)

(drink water and sigh)

maybe i would like it better

you know, t-- cori had asked me about

walking them seperately and how much would that cost

(turn signal)

i don’t wanna accidentally hurt this dog is the thing

and i dont them to hurt me, my fuckin hand!

a couple weeks ago

was definitely from these dog pullin things

eghhhhh

i dont know why i’m still recording this

i’m r- fully bored

i can turn it off if i can get to it

at this red light

(hums)

(singing) red light!


6/10/2021, 1:49pm


roundup on the porch

and boots upturned in the back of the truck

mud boots

work boots

muddy work boots, that’s too many

pink plastic pen trash

plastic plastic trash

everything a corpse

lottsa gays out today

grey

gays on a grey day

gaze upon a grey day

(birds singing)

pride month, grey day

is it to bring the color?

hey buddy! hello dog

(barking)

uh-uh! Pep! no way

oh there’s another one

that’s a very dead

let’s see

i gotta getta picture

(cars pass, dogs bark)

um also

this security truck?

there’s gotta be a new guy because

this is the fastest i’ve ever seen a security guy drive, like

in this neighborhood anyway

he’s goin like a full 30 !

all, you know

he turns on the block, down,

stop turn

and he’s already comin back the other way before i’ve even gotten two doors down

oh look we’ve turned i didn’t even notice

that peppy has found a secret way home

called, we’ve gone down the alley

even though we have all this time left

i really thought he’d be pleased to be on walks by himself but maybe he’s

maybe he thinks that tj’s getting something he’s not, maybe he thinks he’s getting some fuckin snacks, people food time

crunch

i like these gravel

grey

gay on a grey day

fences with dog windows

is that a new (turn??)

mmmm hmm!

oh woops what was the other one

about

that robin i saw

the one with the worm after i saw the dead one

the feeling of

no, mellah, don’t don’t do it

that worm probably is covered in round up

ooh that is a bad poop

what have you

gahd everything’s poison

what the hell did you eat

(bag crackles)

he was eating grass as soon as we

got outta the house

yuck!

cmon bobo i gotta try to pick up this puddle

(bag rustles loudly)

come here!! soup!

aw geez i almost landed my phone right in it

that woulda been funny

haha - would it have?

(bag crackles)

(dogs bark)

oh no

this is what we get in the alley anymore

i feel like it didn’t used to be so bad

(bag loudly crackles)

but is it just that peppy typically reacts

more calmly?

or is this called everyone got a pandemic dog?

hmm

(loud microphone blips)

dust to dust dust

what’s that?

ewughhh some kinda slime mold or something coool

(dogs going crazy)

or i could be wrong maybe it’s just

well no i don’t see anything

wow these dogs are fa-reaking out

hey buddies!

(bark bark bark, peppy pants)


i don’t know if it stopped again dangit

uhh

(quiet except for gravel crunching)

robins’ egg blue

grey blue, the color of, the grey sky - ish

(phone buzzes)

i’m not gonna try to theorize about what a color means

(dog leash jingles)

but an egg the color of the gravel

the sidewalk

what’s that a--

you know how chickens look liek the eggs they build? cook? coooook

wow that’s a lotta cigarette butts

yeah

(whispers) part of me wants to record whatever call i’m gonna have

that’s not a good idea

(humming)

my legs just wanna swing and sway today

i wanna stand on one leg and swing swing swing

ooooh that’s a good idea

remmeber you said that once? about

actually, lotsa people says it all the time

called, i have to move before i write

or you - or it helps anyway

there’s no you have to

everybody does a different dance but

the dance of moving is nice

maybe it has to either be one or the other -

moving first or sleeping

sleep, write

dance, write

la la la la la la, la la la la!

i always wanna do the thing where you come back around and change it

but

i don’t have anything to say in between

that’s the truggle of my

(sigh)

wishing to be cool

gays on a grey day

or

sleep right

write right

dance right

(jangly walking)

there’s no right way to dance

probably not to sleep, either

it’s all right

you dance, i’ll write

(humming)

i’ll just put em all in a row

(humming)

okay yeah

i’m goina stop

because i’m goina try to talk to this person


(singing in the car)

they were gone they were gone

who knows when i will see them again

No comments: