i almost didn't go to my therapist appointment this morning. it was my first time seeing this woman, and after my disastrous experience a couple weeks ago (in which the LCSW accused me of being on my parents' insurance illegally and made me cry in the first 2 minutes), i was feeling pretty wary about whether this was a good idea. but i went, and i was late, and a very sweet dog greeted me as soon as i walked in. the session was okay i suppose; i felt pretty okay about it when i first left, but that feeling has been steadily failing since i got home. i wish i had been more firm that i see medication as a last resort, and i wish i had talked more about immediate problems than answering all her questions about my back story. and anyway i don't see what good this is going to do me if i only see her three times, which is hopefully what it will be if i can get out of town as soon as i'm planning on. SO basically probably a big wate of time and money on my end, and i'm not sure what i'm even trying to get out of this. i hate to be so negative but.. well that's just how it is.
now the day is already half gone and i have no idea how that happened and i'm mad at myself. i need to find some lunch and take morgan driving and do some errands and work on editing and finish cleaning my room, etc. instead i'm listening to an album i just discovered by an artist i really like, josephine foster-- it's all musical versions of emily dickinson poems! so perfect. how did i not know about this before?
listening to: josephine foster - i see thee better -- in the dark
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