it always feels like you're leaving

love mix deux made for me by brandon. i got it in the mail yesterday, and it's quite nice. i'm posting the track list here since he didn't write it down. you don't have to pay attention.

01) phoebe carrai - bach's cello suite no. 1 (prelude)
02) throwing muses - mr. bones
03) the stooges - i wanna be your dog
04) yeah yeah yeahs - no no no
05) björk - cocoon
06) pj harvey - electric light
07) a tribe called quest - 8 million stories
08) iggy pop - tiny girls
09) violent femmes - good feeling
10) godspeed you! black emperor - sleep
11) bright eyes - pull my hair
12) throwing muses - serene

i carry you around

today a million people moved to our lunch. it's nice, but chaotic. mr. isom has been absent for two days, and i've gotten lots of time to talk to laylee, LA, and brock in psychology. i took my "waiting for godot" make up essay test today, and i did horribly. i realized halfway through that i'd set it up wrong, but... oh well. i didn't even bother trying to fix it, and just ploughed onward. maybe she will commend me for being different HAHAHAH. morgan and i rode the bus home for the first time today. it's nice being able to control what time you go home. in all, today was much better than yesterday, when i had a horrible pain in my stomach area all day. and better than tuesday, because tuesday is the worst day of the week. although yesterday i did get my package from brandon, which always makes me really happy. he sent me back my cell phone, so if you've been trying to call me for a week and a half and getting no alanna, that is why. feel free to call away now. he also sent me a really great mix. i can post the track list if anyone cares to know what's on it. anyway. everybody have an awesome friday tomorrow. oh, and on saturday, everyone must come to my house. no questions. be here.

listening to: the olympics commentators

SO TIRED. I WANT TO DIE.

listening to: the mountain goats - grendel's mother

what!

i can't believe how late it is, how little i've done, and how tired i am. this is just ridiculous. i hate school. and i was supposed to enjoy this year, too. who the fuck fixed up my grand plan? i need redecorating.

a girl has got to hide away

today i stayed home from school to get over that damn fever. i was actually really annoyed to miss the first full monday of the school year, especially since i had two tests. but whatever, i would rather not infect anyone else. so anyway. i have to go "study" for my passage to india/july's people test, and debate whether or not to do friday's pre-calculs homework. (our text book's spine is actually mispelled. isn't that terrifying?)
i am eating godiva ice cream -- creamy vanilla with chocolate covered cookies and godvia chocolate chunks. mmmmmm sweet lord.

listening to: bangs - call + response

one of my biggest pet peeves

when i'm genuinely irritated with someone, i make a sort of snippy comment, and they think i'm kidding. laughter does not make a good apology. it's a slap in the face. it only says to me that people i am close to can't tell the difference between when i'm angry and when i'm happy, and that makes me very sad.

listening to: the microphones - i love you so much!

sick day

i went to bed late last night absolutely freezing cold. i was shaking and my teeth were chattering. i sealed myself within two huge blankets but i still couldn't stop shivering. this morning i woke up absolutely burning up, even though i'd kicked off some of the covers. i have a fever and a headache, and i'm blessed with dizziness every time i try to move. i blame brock for this sickness. he complained all weekend that he wasn't feeling well, and yet he still cuddled with everybody. if you are contagious, this is a bad idea. i hope that he didn't infect anybody else, although i think i've already gotten my mother sick too. i am in a bad mood, and i've been listening to the microphones all day. i don't feel well enough to go, but everyone else should attend the our own voice workshop for the upcoming play, the story of joan of arc set in a modern teenage psych ward. theatreworks 3pm. hop to it.

my dog will always come through

mom and dad just came home from the vet. i haven't really been blogging a lot so i don't know if i mentioned it, but our dog bonnie has been really sick for a good hunk of the summer. she got sick in georgia, while we were in orlando, and got steadily worse ever since. they finally put her to sleep tonight, because she was suffering so much and there were so many things wrong with her. she was such a sweet, noble, beautiful dog, and all will miss her.

listening to: cat stevens - i love my dog

god damn

today did not turn out as i planned. queer as folk party was okay. the best part was getting to hang out with my loves, but the show itself is pretty awful. it was sort of fun to watch, but i wasn't that entertained. the bad acting was just too distracting. at any rate, dad picked me up at 2:45 from LA's to go to brittany's. we got lost for over 2 hours. it was hell. i mapquest gave us these absolutely HORRIBLE directions, and i wanted to die. it didn't help that i had forgotten that brittany had a new address since last year's birthday party. plus i hadn't remembered to bring my cell phone or the invitation, so when i realized i didn't remember brittany's apartment number, i couldn't call home and ask mom what it said on the invitation. we drove around until we found a working payphone, but our house line was, of course, busy. for about 2 million years. we ended up going out to the east shelby county library and using their phone book and computer resources, but nothing helped. we wandered around the apartment complex for far too long. went back to circle k for their pay phone. finally got in touch with mom. she said that brittany's apartment number was 38U, but that didn't exist. she couldn't read brittany's handwriting, apparently, and told me it was apartment A. it was two hours after the designated party arrival time, and nobody was answering the door of apartment 38A. so i left a note and we hightailed it outta there. i came home and looked at the invitation, and lo and behold! there is no way in hell or on god's green earth that the real apartment number is 38A. i am very irritated because i don't have brittany's most recent phone number and she currently has no idea why i stood her up for her 18th birthday party. it's kind of funny how much this imitates the situation at her 13th birthday, or even her 10th. it's just ridiculous how all those good dates are fucked. ANYWAY i'm really irritated. sorry.

why can't i sleep in here?

yesterday marked the beginning of the first weekend of the school year. we had a cuddling party, a journey to subway, and went to see MUTZ at the caravan. the band was as great as ever, but the crowd was smaller and less rowdy than at the last show. which is really too bad. i had a good time, and i also saw dead city for the first time. i liked them in terms of performance, but i don't think i could listen to hardcore in my spare time. so sue me. i got to talk to brandon a little bit last night, which is always very good. today, brock and laylee are on their way to pick me up and watch queer as folk at LA's house. after that i am going to brittany's birthday party. hooray!

i love hell

The Dante's Inferno Test has banished you to the Seventh Level of Hell!
Here is how you matched up against all the levels:

Level	Score
Purgatory (Repenting Believers)	Very Low
Level 1 - Limbo (Virtuous Non-Believers)	Low
Level 2 (Lustful)	High
Level 3 (Gluttonous)	Moderate
Level 4 (Prodigal and Avaricious)	Low
Level 5 (Wrathful and Gloomy)	High
Level 6 - The City of Dis (Heretics)	High
Level 7 (Violent)	Very High
Level 8- the Malebolge (Fraudulent, Malicious, Panderers)	Very High
Level 9 - Cocytus (Treacherous)	Low

Take the Dante's Inferno Test

So many days, so little time?

Lordpook1: we needs to have some more days
Sheisrealokay: waht are you talking about
Lordpook1: well see i was thinkin...
Sheisrealokay: oh ye?
Lordpook1: ye
Sheisrealokay: go on
Lordpook1: as i was saying...
Lordpook1: i was thinking. why haven't we had airport day? or blog life reenactment day?
Sheisrealokay: because you never said anything stupid
Lordpook1: or fountain day or sitcom day or a day where we all switch personalities
Sheisrealokay: aweopigha we already had fountain day
Lordpook1: i mean fountain day 2. you know, all the wetness of fountain day 1, but with the boredom of exhausting a theme
Sheisrealokay: why should we do that, other than the wet of course
Lordpook1: because i would be there? (is that the right answer?)
Sheisrealokay: no
Lordpook1: well what about transgender day? that seems right up our collective alley
Sheisrealokay: aweiogweopieh YES
Lordpook1: ok. i'll dress as mowgli. or babar.
Sheisrealokay: that was disney day ass
Sheisrealokay: and babar isn't even disneny weheo[weigga
Lordpook1: that's right, he's an elephant
Lordpook1: g2g
Sheisrealokay: aaa bye

ah, yes

enter post-school day headache. i remember these.... i'm also having blog deja vu right now. can anybody say "repeat?"
in any case, today was boring as all get out. i learned nothing, did nothing, and barely even got homework. i discovered how doubly crazy my teachers are and i'm liking some of them less now. i hope i don't go crazy. awopihgwhei. at least lunch is nice. my schedule:

homeroom - boyd (yet another year alone in the ole homeroom. but becca and laylee are down the hall.)
2nd - german 1 - herrmann (with brock, eileen, meg, christie)
3rd - physics - mccrory (i haven't talked to anyone in this class yet)
4th - AP english literature - wyatt (brock, laylee, allison. combined we overtake the awkwardness of elise being there too)
5th - AP psychology - isom (brock, laylee, LA. and lauren might TA)
c lunch with morgan, katherine, brock, laylee, LA, becca, brett, eileen, mouse
6th - pre-calculus - wall (brock, lauren, allison)
7th - u.s. government - bafford (brock, margaret)

for the most part it's pretty nice. yes, brock is in all my classes except one. i really hope we don't have a fight this year hyuk hyuk hyuk. it really sucks that i only see sallis and alice briefly before fifth period. i'm gonna have to work out my walking patterns so that i run into as many people as possible, once things settle down. i hope they don't change my schedule like last year gpowaihpwohgi. i like it how it is. anyway, i'm going to go do my amazingly tiny amount of homework. thank god for no textbooks.

the end

summer is officially over, and i have entirely lost the ability to put words together to form sentences. in short-- i had an interesting summer, sometimes very busy and beautiful and sometimes very laidback and lazy. i have yet to finish my summer reading, but the first day of school was really not so bad. i'm kind of excited about the year, actually. most importantly, my visit from brandon was a 10-day bliss. he left five hours ago, and i already miss him like crazy. i have lots more to say, but i've forgotten how to say it since i haven't used the computer since he came. hopefully i'll have some pictures to post soon and lots of things to say. goodbye, all.

why am i so nervous?!

i think i'm going crazy.

at least i have root beer to help me along. last night i started july's people which i didn't like at first and then got into further in... maybe that's just because it was 4am? who can tell these days?
today i'm cleaning my room and ACTUALLY MAKING PROGRESS. unfortunately there is nowhere to put anything and i have no clue what to do with all the shit on the floor. oh well. at least it looks a little bit better. anyone up for coming to help me? that's a joke since like three people read this shit and they're all out of town or dead. except for morgan, who is too busy cleaning her own room. le sigh. what's a girl like me to do with a full trash bag and no more shelf space?

gahh

so i finally finished that damned book (oh god i'm so punny.) i want to make a big long post about this week, but i have to clean and read and get ready for brandon to come. so i don't know how much i'll get to blog in the coming days.... we'll see. i'll try to keep you guys (haha) up to date.

listening to: rasputina - nov. 17dee (extended version)

taking a break from dante's infernal. about to go crazy. gahoewiahohewa.

idiot nightmare

tonight MÜTZ is playing at the caravan at 8. it's $5 and i hear you're supposed to dress silly. i don't know what my costume will be, but i encourage everybody to go. a lot of people are out of town or not speaking to me, so i probably won't really have anyone to hang out with. at any rate, please come. call me. i think i'm going to be a hermit this week, what with everything that's not going on. i did get a love letter from the amazing plaid today, though. that makes me very happy. anyway, i'm going to go read some of that infernal inferno and try to bribe morgan into making a costume for me. that's a joke in that if she agreed to do it, i wouldn't put up a fight. have a day, fishes.

aaaaaaaand we're back!

the trip was the same trip we always have. i enjoyed myself to the best of my ability, spent time with the grandparents, and got horrible trapped in dante's inferno. which i hate. *shudder*
i'm supposed to be rendezvousing with brandon right now, but i don't think he's gonna show up. oh well.
instead, i am messing with the scandaliz vandalistz myspace profile, which you should all visit and add to your friends list. also i'm messing with this flickr thing, as you can tell by the picture to your right. become a member to see my friends only photos mwahhahaaa.
i feel like such a geek. oh well.