Tuesday, October 14, 2003

have you guys ever watched those special mata buses load? people usally just get annoyed at them for blocking up a lane and taking forever to get out of the way. today we were at a red light next to one, while this old woman was being lifted into the bus on that little platform thing. the driver guy who was helping her noticed me watching him and smiled. it was very nice.
mom got off work late, so by the time we got to central, there was basically no one there. so now she's just even more upset. perfect.
i'm trying to read the sun also rises and remember what the hell else i am supposed to be doing with my existence. go figure.

listening to: switchblade kittens - ode to harry potter
(again, morgan is playing this in the other room. how cute.)
THIS WEEK:
read that damned book
burn cds for brock
package for brandon
record with becca
edit with katherine
film film film anything that exists
eat cheese
learn to drive
rock it to the moon
today was better than i expected it to be. as i was walking into the building this morning, brock attacked me, and we stood and watched the rain for a long time. it was nice. alice talked to us for a little while, too. i like alice. i would like to know her better and get to see her once in a while.
i had a craving for edam cheese all day long, which has not yet been satiated because i'm waiting to go take a shower first... i don't know why.
therapy last night was not as bad as i thought it would be, either. it was still pretty bad, though. now i have these goal things that are supposed to make me responsible. i am in trouble with mom because i somehow missed the deadline for psat signups. i know, i know. it's really dumb. i knew people were paying and everything, i just figured there would be a huge production of "THIS IS YOUR LAST DAY" and i'd do it then. but there wasn't. damn. now i have to take it at central, which means mom is mad at white station, and REALLY REALLY mad at me. she thinks that it's a sign i don't give a damn about school and college. she was like "well, you can just get a job and pay for it yourself if you care about it." and i'm already in her un-good graces. it's not cool.
which means that i'm definitely not going to be able to see peaches tonight... oh well, i can still ask. (dream.) but even if she said yes, who the fuck is coming with me?! you motherfuckers need to get on top of this. okay.
oh yeah, in thinking about crazy shit with my parents, i remembered that on saturday i was annoyed at dad and he got all upset and then he tried to turn it fucking moist or something. "we never talk anymore, we used to get along, blah blah blah" so i just sat there and didn't say anything, and then i left. i can't explain it. everybody thinks i'm really mean to him, which i guess i am. but he really gets on my nerves. he doesn't remember anything i say, or anything he says to me, so there's no point in talking to him at all. he has no understanding of privacy or anything at all. i swear to god, when brock and robin were over, he was listening (and RESPONDING, which is worse) to our conversation the ENTIRE night, no matter what part of the house he was in. sometimes we couldn't really hear him, so i just ignord the muffled shouts. but it really pissed me off. obviously.
and now i'm feeling really rotten. (the sun also rises. aha. yes. test on thursday and i got the book last night. genius me.)
so i will go take my shower, and eat some cheese, and take some pain-killers, and actually attempt to start my homework before 8pm. woosh!
oh yeah, becca's show date is being moved... change your plans for friday night.
fuck today.
i fucking hate bitching. shut the fuck up, people.

Monday, October 13, 2003

LOBSTER MAGNET
doy is acting nuts. i don't know what's up, but i think it's blogger's problem? damn it. i hate it when things act nuts.
last night, brock come over and we had some sonic quisine. brock refused to look at my reese's blast. it's too bad, that shit is the best. we were like "we have to DO something tonight!!!" but it is so much harder than it sounds, shit. we walked back home and i made him watch "much finer" and the awesome yeah yeah yeahs "maps" video. we read some blogs, talked to brandon. then we were like "SHIT WE HAVE TO DO SOMETHING!" we thought it would be really cool to see alice, because we never get to hang out with her. but we don't have her phone number. we called margaret, but she didn't pick up her cellie. and then we sat there for a while and thought about who we knew. jenny and elizabeth are/were in atlanta, and brock forgot HAHA. so we called ROBIN. it was awesome. we went and picked her up, and the three of us basically sat around my house and ate pizza. geez how boring are we? oh well. brock's mom came to pick him up at 10 something and we all stood around and talked abotu pets for a really long time. (brock's mom said robin is cute and has nice teeth. jesus, what does she say about me?! "gawd, brock why do you associate with that ugly, bad-teeth girl?") then robin's mom came and we did the same thing. it was relaly funny. it was a nice night, though. robin had fun watching old movie clips i have on my computer, of us just hanging out at school and stuff. she said we should start to film a lot more, like we used to. that would be nice. but i need more tapes. i should've showed her that stuff from last weekend HAHAH. that was hella funny.
today is blegh sunday-esque day. i really hate sundays. i dance in misery. hahahahhahaha. no, really, i sit around and think about everything i am supposed to be doing (i.e. homework) and then end up thinking about everything i wish i was doing (i.e. hanging out with kids) and end up with this absolutely disgusting medium of just sitting around doing nothing. it's sad.
katherine was supposed to come over and edit again today, but she can't because she doesn't have enough work done... i hate our lives.

listening to: the yeah yeah yeahs - maps
(morgan is listening to it in the other room... i think i have gotten her hooked. i am the best older sister.)
this is so strange.... i never, ever, ever, ever, ever cry, right?
but the last couple sundays, the strangest things have made me pseduo-cry... i just watched the video for "haunted by a stranger" by mogwai and my eyes are wet. last sunday, i nearly fell apart while listening to "limbo" by throwing muses. weird that art has more of an effect on me than anything personal. i don't know what the fuck is up. but jesus christ, that is one sad video.
now i just feel pathetic.

Sunday, October 12, 2003

YES I'M STILL SITTING AROUND LOOKING AT BLOGS. SO WHAT!?

listening to: the rapture - echoes
god damnit, i nearly fell asleep on the couch at midnight, then i planned to go to bed an hour and a half ago, and WHAT THE HELL AM I STILL DOING HERE? god damn! look at my sick life. sitting here and downloading music. no care in the world for being sued.

listening to: the national - fashion coat
damn i forgot to post today. laylee is out of town in new york, and without her, i have no motivation, since she is the only person who reads this blog. okay, i know for a fact that i am not allowed to say that, after the ted blog situation. i wonder if i have a cult following. how hella funny would that be!
anyway. katherine came over tonight and we got sooooo much done on the "much finer" video. it's really that we've been working on it for a full year. she was here from like 4:30 to 10:30, and we got 1 minute and 2 seconds of the video done. wow that sounds really really bad written out. well, we did have a really short dinner break. and we didn't actually start editting until like 5.
... okay so it is as bad as it sounds. shut the fuck up. much fin3r ownz j00. i am SOOO excited about it. god damn. in fact, i think you kids(s) should get a special preview, simply for being the faithful reader(s) of mine blog fortress. please give suggestion(s). CHECK THAT SHIT.
god i love little blog circles. i love how everyone reads everyone else's blog, sort of. sometimes it seems like the people who post the most/best are the least likely to read other kids' blogs regularly. i guess that just shows who has the good life, and who is the stalker. i like my role. i made all kinds of buttons for some kids' blogs today. it was fun. well they were only for some people on doy who have had blogs but no buttons. oh well it was exciting. even more exciting was when katherine came over in the middle of it and tried to teach me how to play the beifuss song. i have never played a string instrument before though, if you don't count when i TRIED to play guitar in the fourth grade. other than that, i'm a woodwinds gal. too bad strings control me like marionettes. my heart is stuck in a cello somewhere, this is no lie. those bitches have more power over me than anything. it's unfair that i can't seem to play them. oh well, maybe i am destined for the drums like katherine wants me to be. katie said that she can't see me playing drums, though, because i'd have to be STUCK IN THE BACK and SITTING DOWN the whole damn show. maybe i could copy the violent femmes' drummer guy. he just has a couple snares, front and center, and he stands there and plays them, unless he's running around wildly. maybe he doesn't do that all the time. after all, gordon gano did have a broken foot, so he couldn't be the stage entertainment for hte evening. and what a lovely evening. i won't go into it because then i'd ahve to talk about what a damn great day it was and how it was really 2 days rolled into one long long beautiful day because elise and i accidentally stayed up all night... too bad i wasn't blogging when that shit happened. oh well, i wrote a journal entry.
man i love hte yeah yeah yeahs. i made morgan watched 2 music videos and their performance on conan today, and she actually enjoyed them. wow morgan, i am impressed with your mad taste. what sister is cooler than this one? oh yeah after i blogged last night i watched subterranean on mtv2 which is like. the only show i like. and only some of it is good. too bad. there was a really nice little streak of videos... chemical brothers (shut up, the video is really cool), the new yeah yeah yeahs, the new RAVEONETTES, libertines, ima robot, etc. it was pretty fucking awesome. i wrote down names even though the ones i liked, i already knew the band. go figure. shit all i do is talk about music. i am shutting up.
oh yeah i talked on the phone to brock about his day, which was the next best thing to actually seeing him. there's always tomorrow.
anyone up for sneaking into peaches with me on tuesday? i know i already asked... but come on, guys. this is sick.

i want comments about the video. do it:


listening to: The Liars - Mr. Your on Fire Mr.

Saturday, October 11, 2003

a couple weekends ago, katherine, brock, elizabeth, and i had a lovely time filming and kite-flying at shelby farms. we are thinking of turning it into a short movie. it would be very very nice and happy.

plus katherine is coming over later today. we hope to edit more of "much finer" and start work on another silly parody movie, but who knows? we might also be editting the kite thing. whatever happens, it'll be great of course.

last weekend i showed "untouchable face" to my friend katie. it was surprising and amazing how much of the real story she got out of the video. she saw some things that it took me forever to see, when the stuff was actually happening. so yay for movies and the power of film. ahaha.

also, the site is now at this address which i'm sure is not helpful at all since you are already there. oh well. there it is.

Friday, October 10, 2003

my day was SO much better than i'd thought it would be. chemistry test wasn't bad, ap essay wasn't too bad, and surprise surprise the dbq essay was nowhere near as bad as i had thought it'd be. amazing! also, i did my algae and latin homework in homeroom and study hall. both of them were checked, what a strange coincidence. lalala. also, the 5th period english class had our lunch again and absolutely yay for that. laylee cuddled me and gave me her sandwich. i stole 25 cents from sallis and bought a hot chocolate sucker from that nice kid. he is very nice.
i can't think of anything else interesting that happened at school. today's post-school was very nice. brock and i talked to alice a lot, and sarah actually ended up taking her home. thank you, sarah! you always have to deal with my mobs. brock and i came home and hung out for a while. we decided to go to the spacebats show tonight, but only after cd shopping and dinner at harry's detour. the dinner was really nice, but it was so nice that we forgot to leave and we were there forever. the otherlands lady said that the spacebats were playing at 8, but when we got there at 8:30, after dinner, there was barely anyone there and no one was playing yet. so we abandoned that and went cd shopping. it takes me forever to decide anything so i just went with the default -- new frank black album! show me your tears came out in early september. it's pretty good, but so far i don't like it as much as his teenager of the year solo album, and of course not nearly as much as any pixies work. but it's fun. i have this and 2 other cds with him and the catholics, though this is the first i've bought for myself in that category. so i'm glad. and i love buying cds when they first come out. it makes me feel nice. to be able to say, "yeah i was a fan during that era" or something. to have artists that i will honestly go out and get all their albums, even when i haven't heard any of the new songs. i don't know. i like that. it's constant, and yet very surprising all the time. i love music so much. anyway. brock bought squirrel nut zippers and andy stochansky's solo cd. i hope he likes them, he's probably listening to one right now. he went home a while ago, very shortly after we got home. cd shopping made us go music-crazy. he wrote a huge list of bands he wants to hear taht i'm supposed to burn cds of for him, but his mom came before we had finished burning the second one. i'm excited though. i love music. sighhh.
i also bought the new issue of rolling stone, which is the special 'women who rock' one. i wish it was really a SPECIAL issue, like they put aside one specifically for that. i mean, practically all music media is about men. and if it's about women, it's about sex appeal and shit. so i am ashamed to say i own this. but missy elliott is on the cover, what could i do? no, seriously there is a really really great sleater-kinney article in here. it's really really good, except for they did a little discography chart for the band... and gave all hands on the bad one 2 stars and called the hot rock "dense, dark, totally depressing." which i don't agree with. NOT totally. jeeesus. come the fuck on. and what was that about all hands?! no way. i can't believe they gave call the doctor the best rating. oh well, i'm over it because sleater-kinney is fucking adorable. especially carrie. oh god i'm melting over here.
i hope spacebats was fun, but i don't really mind at all that we missed it. i've seen like 4 shows, and i'm sure they don't have any new material since last time. brock hadn't seen them before, and i'm only disappointed by the fact that we didn't get to see any kids tonight. and even that didn't bother me, just remembering that it's a THREE-DAY WEEKEND, and that i had an awesome time with just brock, like always. we're two siamese lobsters in a shoe.

listening to: frank black and the catholics - horrible day
(how ironic. HAHAH. this song is really good though! "it's a beautiful day. no, it's a horrible day." that sounds like me, but backwards?)
kristin hersh solo tour -- closest date is november 14 in bloomington, indiana... too bad.
last night i accidentally dozed off doing my history homework. luckily it was a somewhat light sleep, since i had the light on and everything i guess. and i wasn't prepared for sleep which effects it, i think. anyway. i had THE most beautiful dream. it was night time and everything was rainy and becca was at my house. she had the back door open, and called me over. i looked outside and there were these two gorgeous flamingoes parading through my backyard. they had this sort of pale glow in the middle of the night and the rain. oh it was beautiful. then i (thank god) woke up at 4am, did my history outline, and went back to sleep. morgan woke me up and got me pants and gave me candy earlier this morning. she is the sweetest thing.
today is going to be awful, but i found my favorite bra. woo!

Thursday, October 09, 2003

HAHAHAH dear god
this will make your day i swear to god:

FUNTASTIC FUNK
just got off the phone with brock. i was doing pretty well with my history shit. i was the little engine that could. mostly because i had a goal: "when i finish this part, i am going to call brock and ask him what we're doing tomorrow!" so i did that, and we ended up listening to the whole throwing muses album over the phone. i really need to get some focus and get a life. talking to brock is always brilliant. i hate that he doesn't have a computer and his blog anymore, but the fact that it means we end up on the phone for huge portions of hte night makes me really happy. i just wish there was something productive i could pretend to do while we talked. like tonight, we listened to limbo, i babbled and recited my favorite lines, and he drew sketches for art. we also did some nice talking, of course. i love that boy. quoth katherine, "oh god. you are so lovely together." i need to stop calling him 'that boy' and shit though because i think 'boy' bothers him. it makes me wish he was violent.
today i had a stupid history test after school that i had to take because i didn't participate in the class discussion over hte chapter. i'm really ret@rd*d. i just hate how sickly stupid it is that i have this huge inability to talk like that. i don't know why. it makes absolutely no sense whatsoever. i should be able to scream, you know?
but laylee sent me a happy love sucker via margaret, as good luck and encouragement and laylee love in sucker form. it made my day ten times better. plus katherine w cut margaret's hair and it's very cute. i hope she likes it.
i think me and katherine d are gonna be up all night. and isn't it nice?
WAGGHHHHH THEY CAHNGED SOME TOUR DATES FOR BONFIRE MADIGAN AND NOW TEY ARE LPLAYING IN NASHVIELLE AHGOIEEOAHGOEAOGHEHOAGPHWEOH BROCK BROCK WHERE ARE YOU
me: man my mom is making me look at colleges
me: this is scary
margaret: just scream "U of M" and walk away

HAHAHA. i love that girl.
no, right now i am living in this beautiful fantasy and me and everyone are all going to go to antioch and oberlin in ohio. yes. you heard me. go watch those damn image slideshows at the antioch site, and you'll understand. oh my god. and bonfire madigan is SO playing there on halloween. so they have good shows. i'm melting.
man this is so cheap and cute, it breaks my heart.
i just like looking at this antioch site because it feels like somewhere i'd actually enjoy, something i could actually do, instead of my huge terrifying-ness and intimidation every time somebody mentions college. so good.

Wednesday, October 08, 2003

i'm supposed to be at macaroni grill, eating a caesar salad or something, with the latin kids. oh well. who the fuck wants to go to macaroni grill with the latin kids, and eat a damn caesar salad or something? and make stupid latin jokes and draw on the table? not me.
i really like my brandon cds so far.
anyway i'm proud of myself for having already started my homework this evening. i have done english and half of math. go alanna go! usually i am sitting on my ass about now wondering where my toes have gone.
aww katie just called me from her car, driving home from work. we had a nice little 2 minutes and 16 second conversation. how sweet is that? i love katie.