You are Civilian Calvin! You don't get to travel much outside your neighborhood, but you still manage to get in plenty of trouble. When you're not acting up, you like to wax philosophical. Take the What Calvin are You? Quiz by contessina_2000@yahoo.com!

KevinAN: oh man
auto response from aLittleStarlight: cleaning
KevinAN: cleaning
KevinAN: !?
KevinAN: like... the train wreck?
KevinAN: we're not gonna see lana for weeks :'(

legends can be now and forever

we saw an annoying play at ewing children's theatre, called the adventure of somebody taro. or maybe it wasn't the play that was annoying. it was only about 45 minutes long. laylee, morgan, mom and i had seen the princess bride earlier (april) this year. we thought the guy who played humperdink was AWESOME because he was perfect: pompous and hilarious and everything. he turned out to be the main guy in this play. somebody taro. (it was set in japan.) so anyway it turns out, the GUY was just pompous. he played this character the exact same way. it was really really annoying and depressing because now we know he's not cool and that he wasn't really acting. he's just a pretentious bastard all the time. another thing that was annoying, is that the young kids get all the teeny tiny parts and the old kids get the massive parts, even if the younger ones are better actors. this guy who kept flubbing his lines had a major part, when i know morgan's friend sara could do a much better job. but she had one small part at the beginning, and then she was basically an extra for the rest.
and to tell you the truth, the play itself just got on my tiny, blue blue blue nerves.

sweet dirt
leaking onto my bathroom floor
with me in the corner
counting stars i cannot know
i am building a world for you
i am building perfectly
dipping a teaspoon between clouds
to place 2,094,736,157 perfect tiny stars
in the glory of your sky
i am in love with the smell of the pen i used to color in the ocean
i am love perfectly
the clouds i formed are stable, i swear
they only await your approval
we'll walk on beaches of incense ash sand
through forests dyed green
look up at the sea shell moon
i am offering the world to you
i made it perfect lee
when can you move in?
will you mind if i want to visit?
you will be at home there
but nothing i can create compares to you
maybe this time you will forgive my inadequacy
maybe this time i can tag along
happy birthday

happy birthday, jerel.

Who's your inner singer-songwriter?

Take the quiz!


ULTIMATELY, the worst quiz i've EVER taken. and i would be the person who is my least favorite of the three choices (her, vanessa carlton, and michelle branch). simply because she's supposedly COMPLETELY herself and "noncomformist" and "punk" and she's the exact opposite. fuck her and her ties.

To: blackout@darkalabama.com
From: koolsilver@yahoo.com
Subject: blackout

hello.
my friends and i want to go to the rasputina show, but we are only 15. melora, from rasputina, emailed me saying that sometimes clubs like this will let kids come in with thier parents. will this be allowed at the rasputina concert?

thanks, alanna


everybody, do me a favor and email them too.

aLittleStarlight: my sister had oral surgery today
aLittleStarlight: when my mom came to pick her up she was still all drowsy like and halfway sedated
aLittleStarlight: she told mom that it was the best thing that had ever happened to her
KevinAN: HAH
KevinAN: she's great
KevinAN: your sister is great
KevinAN: i can see her saying that too
KevinAN: i really can
aLittleStarlight: ahahahhaha
aLittleStarlight: good.
aLittleStarlight: my sister. oh goodness i love her
KevinAN: she's great
KevinAN: keep her around
KevinAN: by that
KevinAN: i mean dont boil her in a vat of butter
KevinAN: please.
aLittleStarlight: ..... damn!
aLittleStarlight: who told you about my plans for next saturday
aLittleStarlight: did you find my date book
KevinAN: lets just say, i ate it
KevinAN: and by OSMOSIS
KevinAN: i know all.
aLittleStarlight: i'm hungry
aLittleStarlight: do you have any food
KevinAN: YOU CAN'T EAT MORGAN
KevinAN: jesus.

this room is like a bottle, it's never full enough

yesterday, elise IMed me and said, "hey do you want to spend the night?" and i couldn't really think of a reason why not and plus i love elise and so i said "sure." it took a while to get to her house, because when i wrote down the directions i forgot one of the thingies and so dad and i drove around on the kirbys for a very long time and. well, we got there eventually. elise's sister, lena, came home for the first time in a month and a half, as she had been traveling round the country, and she had a little puppy with her that was named charlie after the guy from the perks of being a wallflower, even though he looks just like charlie from all dogs go to heaven. elise told her that i hate that book and she said "why?" and elise said "ohhh don't get her started." so i didnt say anything, which was very good of me, i think. lena> was wearing an awesome, ancient little mermaid shirt and i think her hair was in kinda dreds, in a pink bandana. elise says her sister is a hippie because she doesn't shave her legs or wear a bra. (does that remind you of anyone, laylee?) elise's brother, aaron, and his girlfriend, bethany, (who both just graduated from white station this year) were there for most of that night, before they left for a party at the racquet club for MUS students that they weren't supposed to go to. dammit i just remembered. they don't like the terms "boyfriend" and "girlfriend." so.... aaron and his lover? ok. they got back late that night (after 1:30 i think) and we all sat in elise's kitchen. bethany was somewhat high at the time, aaron makes very interesting little comments about very random things, and i wish i had brought my camera. aaron kept finding things in the grease of the pizza box. we eventually decided that it was a man talking to god, who was balding a smoking a cigar. the man was squatting, about to jump up and steal god's cigar. elise reminded aaron that he doesn't believe in god, but that obviously was not the point. [the sky is a very very very pretty color right now, and i would go film it for you guys but dad stole the camera and took it to the stewart family reunion.] aaron and behtany were quite nice and inclusive. by some point everybody was hysterical and we decided that there were drugs in the pizza. elise said she wished she could go get wasted and shitfaced with (/like) them. i liked them a lot, and elise said they were her favorite portion of the family. elise and i watched a life less ordinary which we liked a lot. ewan mcgreggor was great, and cameron diaz was only annoying at the end, kind of. it was quite enjoyable. we went to bed around 3 and woke up around 3 the next day. mom and morgan had left a message on elise's AIM, saying that morgan's oral surgery had gone well and she'd called elise's house a million times that morning (for who knows what reason). when we woke up, elise's mom was asleep on the couch. we had peanut butter crunch for breakfast. their phone rings a whole lot. aaron's friend casey called, and he come over just as aaron was getting out of the shower (he'd just woken up as well). we watched some shit tv, casey called 1-800-NEED-HIM (christian prayer line) but they disconnected him before he even got to say what he wanted to pray about. elise called back, but she never got through. my mother called (i got to talk to her through the big banana yellow phone) and picked me up around 5. i want elise to come over some time.

just can't leave that dog alone

last night, laylee and i went to bookstar. we looked at the mammoth book of erotica or whatever, but it was really terrifying. we looked at other photography books, like this one with photographs all of women (some of them were famous and some of them were just normal people). it was pretty cool, but we didn't like the pictures of the government women because they looked so posed. then we walked to turtle's and looked at CDs we couldn't buy. actually, i had $10 so i could have bought something used but i didn't really see much of anything. laylee remembered that she had to return her movies to blockbuster that night, so she called her brother on her cell but he wouldn't take them. we called kevin to see if we could attack him, and elise answered his cell phone.
elise: where are you?
me: turtle's.
elise: turtle's music? do we know where that is? ....ok don't move. you can breathe, but don't move.
and so a few minutes later, she and kevin and robin goodwin showed up. we hung out at turlte's for a little while longer, before piling into kevin's car and going to my house. (the ride in the back seat was very intimate, as i was squished between laylee and robin.) at my house, i just ran in to tell my dad who i was with and that he didn't have to pick me up, and i grabbed the camera. we decided to go to java cabana, which turned out to be closed, so we just walked around cooper-young, and then further down cooper. i got some good footage, but some of it is REALLY dark since they didn't want me to use the night shot the whole time. i filmed a lot of the backs of kevin, elise, laylee, and robin as i walked behind them. we got some nice conversation footage. some dancing. elise jumping on kevin's back. pretending to pet the cats through the glass at house of mews. the monkees walk. elise filmed the cute guy who works at black lodge (video store). the weirdest part of the evening was when we were standing in this empty parking lot place, on cooper. the place that's filled with children's games at the cooper-young festival. (yes, i pretended that i was on the moon bounce thing.) and uh. there were three people walking by and elise yelled "can we interview you?" and they were like "sure" and they came over and elise told them we didn't really have any questions. after a couple seconds i realized that one of them was morgan, from the our own voice production of the play "spurt of blood." i was trying to think of a quote i could say from the play that would show i knew who he was but the only thing i could think of was "SHOW ME YOUR TITS" and that wouldn't have been very appropriate. you know, though, i always end up seeing morgan everywhere. like once he was at my school for some reason. and i see him at bus stops sometimes, and outside blockbuster. once i saw him at otherlands (where he apparently works) and i said, "hi, morgan!" because i forgot he didn't know me. he was kinda like "...hi?" because my dad and my sister were the ones in a play with him, not me. i forgot i guess. anyway, the other guy said that they were watching entries for a film festival thing and elise asked what movies they were about to watch. they said they didn't know the titles, but they'd just watched one called romeo and juliet revisited. and if you didn't know. that's the movie katherine, brittany, morgan, and i made for katherine and i's english extra credit assignment. katherine entered it in the film festival for god knows what reason, but i had nothing to do with it. that just about killed me of embarassment. it was very very very weird. it was a wild and wacky night.

Nabikichan086: hell, i didnt think you'd be this crazy when i first met you

To: koolsilver@yahoo.com
From: Cellorock@aol.com
Subject: Re: huntsville show

Thanks for your letter. And thanks for the Daisy info; we will contact them.
You should contact the club in Huntsville. Often, underage people can get in with their parents.
I prefer a younger crowd to tell you the truth.
Tell the club I said so!!
-Melora
(Rasputina)

To: mail@rasputina.com
From: koolsilver@yahoo.com
Subject: huntsville show

dear rasputina,
we were going to come see your show in atlanta, but our parents don't want to drive that far, since we live in memphis. they were willing, however, to drive us to the show two days later in huntsville. it took some convincing, since it's the night before the first day of school, but eventually they said it was cool. then we discovered that you can't buy tickets for that show at ticketmaster.com and eventually we found a web site that said the show was only for ages 19+. seeing as we are only 14, 15, and 14 this is very distressing. we are very disappointed that we can't come to your concert. we were really looking forward to it. it would have been a great way to start the school year (sleeping through the first day). if you ever play in the south again, you should come here to memphis, at the new daisy theatre, which is all-ages. you can email them about booking shows at newdaisy@newdaisy.com. we might be able to convince our parents to take us to atlanta, but it's very doubtful. keep up the good work, but keep your younger fans in mind!

love,
becca, laylee, and alanna

walking down the alley, she's not scared

on friday night, brittany called and asked if she could come over. so she did. we stayed up way too late, considering that i had been awake for about 34 hours. mom woke us up around 11am or something and took brittany, morgan, and i to laylee's yard sale. she said she was about to call us and get her brother arman to take us over to my house, so that's a pretty funny coincidence. we were going to buy some things, but laylee's wonderful mother just gave it all to us, which was very sweet of her. we terrified arman. brittany filmed some things with laylee's camera. mom did end up buying laylee's futon, which is now brittany's bed. no, brittany does NOT live at our house, but she might as well, which is why we bought a bed for her. so we kidnapped laylee, dragged her to young avenue deli, and made her spend the night. but i'm getting ahead of myself. when we got back home, we all .. sat around a while and tried to pass the time. we ate sonic. and watched mom's bird film. very arty, let me tell you. if you didn't know, we were going to go to the dishes concert at young avenue deli, that we weren't supposed to go to. we got to young avenue deli around 8:30 or something. when we'd called earlier, they said the show would start around 10:30. the men at the door asked if we were 21. dad was a very good actor. he was "surprised" when they asked him to pay $5 to get in. he said we wanted to eat dinner. (if you didn't know, young avenue deli is a bar/restaurant and anyone can come in to eat, but or some reason, during shows they only let 21+) so they let us in. we sat in the third booth from the door, which is on the wall away from the stage, but that makes it a good seat when people start to stand up. and the place is pretty small anyway so we had a really great view of the stage. laylee and i ordered 1/2lb hot dogs w/ cheese. i got a root beer like mom suggested so it would look like we were drinking (which is the whole reason that we weren't supposed to be there, you see). i realized that we were sitting in a booth next to the paper hearts, who were also scheduled to play that night. it was so crazy being right there next to them. i also informed everyone that the dishes were setting up on the stage, so we figured they were playing first and that was good because that was who we really cared about. these guys came in and put this disco camel and some fake flame thingies on the booth behind us. we assumed they were snowglobe, which was another band that was supposed to play. HOWEVER! they turned out to be from camel cigarettes. they took their little camel statue thingies and set them up next to the paper hearts' merchandise, and instantly this line formed. it took us a while to figure out that if you showed your driver's license, they gave you like. this case of free camel cigarettes. we all ate very slowly, but i finished last of course. did you ever doubt me? near the end of my hot dog, the bouncer guy from the door came back and said that we couldn't stay because we were under 21, and he didn't even MENTION the alcohol. he told us that it was illegal for us to be under the same roof as the people giving out cigarettes.... but they were carding anyway, so why did it matter? and dad was there, as if he'd stand by that. so the guy left and we were very depressed and panicked and dad paid for our food. we overheard the bouncer guy telling the paper hearts, in the booth behind us, that they were supposed to kick out their under 21 guests, but they weren't going to since they were "with the band" and brittany turned around and said, "can we be with you?" but they just laughed. dad went to the bathroom, and brittany asked the woman from the paper hearts if we could say we were with them so that they wouldn't kick us out. she was just like "we aren't from around here, we don't know about the policy, blah dee blah dee blah" and we were just about to leave when we saw two women from the dishes again! so brittany, laylee,and i all got up at once and went over to them. brittany (our mouthpiece) said to the lead guitarist, "are you with the dishes?" and she nodded. brittany continued, "we came to see your show, and they're going to kick us out because we're under 21 because of the camel booth." and mrs. dishes was like "THAT'S SHIT! THOSE FUCKING AGOIGIEIOAGIE THEY CAN'T DO THAT" because she has this biiiig thing against smoking. "YOU'RE NOT LEAVING, THEY'RE LEAVING." and we were like "awesome!!!" she told sarah, the lead vocalist/guitarist before she went outside to talk to Mr. Bouncer and we sat back down. about two seconds later, they came over because she had to point us out to the bouncer guy so that he would know who we were and whatnot. oh man it was great. kiki the lead guitarist asked my father if he was somebody's dad. when he said yes, she wanted to know "isn't that enough!?" but dad said "apparently not. they begged me to take them here tonight." so we were all excited, but our waitress was sore that we got to stay, i think. so the dishes show was really really really cool, and brittany filmed the whole thing. i made a clip of sarah acknowledging our existence on stage, but brittany won't let me upload it yet so IM me if you want to see it. the bassist was very sweet-looking but i didnt really get to talk to her. laylee says that they noticed afterwards that we had a camera, but didn't seem to mind. and apparently, earlier that day they'd been in a wreck! and some of their equipment was screwed up so they had a few technical problems, but they were so great. dad said that they were his favorite of the three bands, which is funny because he came to see Snowglobe. after the show, laylee, brittany, and i bought shirts and i bought their new cd (but i maybe should have bought the old one, as it will be harder to find.) and it took me all night long, but i got all four Dishes to sign the little cd insert. the drummer was a different guy than the person who played on the album that i bought (actually, i don't know if he's played on any albums) but he laughed and signed it anyway. it was wonderful. snowglobe played next, and i liked some of the things they did a lot. i think i liked them more than dad, but i'm not sure. he said their sound wasn't what he was expecting. i filmed a bit of them, but the tape said "five minutes left" before they started to get really interesting (as a live act) so i cut it off, and taped five minutse of the paper hearts show. we left after four songs, though, because we were tired and it was late (around 1:30) and they were a little too country for our tastes. back at home, we went to bed right after we put the show into my computer. today, we woke up kind of late. we basically just sat around all day. we put on harriet the spy, but brittany got picked up before it was over and then laylee got a call from her brother and his girlfriend that they were at sonic and they were coming to get her. so we stood outside waiting for them and filmed each other and she left and the end.

Disorder	Rating
Paranoid:	Low
Schizoid:	Moderate
Schizotypal:	Very High
Antisocial:	Low
Borderline:	Moderate
Histrionic:	Low
Narcissistic:	Low
Avoidant:	High
Dependent:	High
Obsessive-Compulsive:	High
-- Click Here To Take The Test --

my results change every time i take this thing!! i'm posting my results from november 19 in the commentaries.
laylee deleted her freaking commentaries AGAIN and i am off to fix them AGAIN. that girl.

i accidentally stayed up all night. to make up for it, i am staying up all day.

today i woke up at 6pm, meaning that i missed getting to go to the zoo with brittany and her family. that was very upsetting.

i'm supposed to pass this along.

"Hi, my name is Jillian Leggatt and I am a graduate student at the University of Windsor, in Ontario, Canada. I am trying to find Riot Grrrls, between the ages of 14 and 19 (currently living in North America) to participate in a study I am doing. I am looking at how exposure to different types of ideas about what it means to be a girl may influence the way that teenage girls feel and think about themselves. Participation in the study involves the completion of a questionnaire (either over the web or on paper) and it takes around 45 minutes.
Participating in this study will give you a chance to explore some of your thoughts and beliefs about yourself, society, and the importance of attractiveness. In addition, the results of this study may be used to help other girls and young women with problems they may have in these areas. If you do decide to participate, your name will be entered
in a draw to win $100US as a thank-you for your help.
If you (or anyone you know) is a female between the ages of 14 and 19 and are interested in participating, simply visit the web site at http://cronus.uwindsor.ca/jillian1. (please forward this message to anyone you know that fits the description). If you are under 18 I also need your parents to fill in a consent form. For legal reasons this consent form must be printed out and mailed to me.
You can also fill out a paper and pencil version of the questionnaire (then you can avoid tieing up your internet connection, the cost of mailing me a parental concent form if you are under 18, etc). I would be happy to send you a paper version of the questionnaire package as well as a self-addressed, stamped envelope for your to send it back. If you would prefer that just send your name and address to my e-mail address leggatt@uwindsor.ca or jleggatt1@cogeco.ca
You can also contact me via email if you have any other questions or comments about my study.
I am having some difficulty getting the number of people I need so even if you can't participate, please pass on this message to any female riot grrrls between the ages of 14 and 19 (currently living in North America).
Thank you very much for your time,
Sincerely, Jillian"

which francesca lia block girl are you?
(quiz created by shelle)

the picture isn't very accurate is it. oh well, i don't care. i like that i got witch baby. i always thought i was witch baby.

you ought to be proud that i'm getting good markstracy is awesome. i found out that she has a livejournal thing, she's getting married, and she's a substitute teacher! i have never had a sub with a tongue piercing before. it would be so cool to see her in school some time. she also helped me get my own livejournal which i do intend to use. maybe i'll post the same thing at both places hahaa. or i can put up a slightly editted version there or something. who knows. anyway, the community there is really awesome.
i have decided that aj is not only The Dude from the big lebowski, but he is also clifford. you know. from clarissa explains it all. yeah. thats the guy. with the jacket.
also, i have a week's worth of posts up on this page! yes! i encourage you to scroll through them and remember all the good times we've had. not that anyone is actually reading this. the comment system wasn't worth it.

it's a cold cold world for a high school girl

brittany just went home (9:30 or thereabouts). when we woke up on sunday... well i can't rightly remember. oh yeah. we woke up around 12pm and lay in bed and talked for about an hour. then just when we were getting up, dad came and told us that he was leaving so he gave me $10 for us to go get sonic. brittany took a shower while i imported the celebration dance from unbecoming onto the computer, with plans to edit later. eventually, we moseyed on down to the sonic, with my camera, and we had a nice time filming things. like a bum and his collection of whatnots, including a sonic peppermint, napkins, cigarettes, one of those communion glasses, etc. there was this great bird eating a french fry, who kept hopping all over the place. after we finished eating, we walked across the street to the famous Service Over Self building and filmed it and filmed the guy picking up trash and his molester mustache. we came home and dad took us to the library. brittany got animal dreams by barbara kingsolver for her required summer reading, and the dolls house which is the second collection in the sandman series by neil gaiman. then we got the big lebowski because it's on the list of movies that kevin and elise are compiling that i have to see. we also got being john malkovich and backbeat. when we got back home, we editted the unbecoming celebration dance video. it looks as good as something that i filmed can. i might put up a clip, if brittany gives me permission. by the time we finished, it was raining, so we set up the camera in the window and danced around on my drive way. then we took the camera onto the porch, put it on top of the trash can, and played in a puddle (and the yard of a house for sale) across the street. i scraped my toe whilst kicking water at brittany. after a bit we came in and took showers before watching our beautiful home movies and then the big lebowski which was funny. the night before we'd watched fight club which we enjoyed and i would like to see again. parts of it reminded me of lord of the flies, which i didnt really like. you know, though, i meant enjoy that book more if i read it on my own. god damn, i had a horrible teacher that year. she kept trying to force her symbolism from that book on us. "the mulberry birthmark is foreshadowing symbolism that he's going to die in a fire," etc. i hate that woman. anyway though. maybe i should read the fight club book. (jerel obivously thinks i should.) after our movie was over was over, brittany and i messed with our movie and went online for a while before we went to bed, where we watched rushmore. (well, i watched it. i'd never seen the whole thing. brittany started trying to fall asleep before it was over. i don't know if she succeeded. we probably should have put on rat race, which would have entertained her more.) i ate three pieces of pizza and burned one and a half sticks of vanilla incense (two different brands) before the movie was over. and i had some organic apple juice. wonderful. today i woke up about 12:30 and started trying to edit the fact recitations and post show for unbecoming. before long, brittany came in, and we spent the best part of the day editting footage for our movie. it was long and tedious but we worked through it. our movie is about 30 minutes long so far. it's not really a "documentary" or anything. it's just us being stupid. it's fun. who knows if it will entertain anyone else, though. and it's not just US. it's my family and kevin and elise and laylee and random people on the street. after that, we watched being john malkovich which was creepy. we had wendy's for dinner and did brittany's music log and then she went home. she left her pillow here.