no central destination

today at school i actually had energy and a not-so-bad day. it was nice. some kid stuck me with a big piece of clear tape that read "speaks in bad poetry" which is probably not a false accusation. am i right? elizabeth, surprisingly, drove me home, and we stopped on the way for some disgusting, delicious KFC. now LA is over to do hang out and do homework because neither of us can concentrate on homework alone. this makes me happy. i want to start having homework parties all the time. nobody's ever wanted to before! i am very excited. wish us luck.

listening to: cake - long line of cars

it's too much to take

this morning we were waiting to turn left onto perkins (where school is) and we saw this really scary wreck. this guy tried to turn left when there was no way he was going to make it, so he got hit and there was lots of noise and glass and we had to get out of the car and walk through all of it to get to school through the stalled traffic. the scary thing is how easily that could happen to any impatient person at that light-- it's really ridiculous how long you have to wait there every day. it shook me up quite a bit.
the rest of the day was okay for a motherfucking monday. post-school activity was pretty nice too. christ, i refuse to believe it's really monday. i still have some homework that i should be tending to... lates.

yayyy?!!!!

server is back!!!
i am a happy woman.

before noon

yesterday brock came over so that we could go see home at the end of the world at studio, but he was a little late and i realized i didn't have the money for a movie anyway. so we watched before sunrise on my tiny, awful tv. in the middle we started talking and morgan came in for a long time, so we finished the movie about an hour later than we expected to, at 3:30. i felt really bad because we missed janelle's street theatre thing at 2:30. i miss her a lot. but brock and i loved the movie so it was sort of worth it. we talked to my mom a little bit about it, and then headed out to ridgeway 4 armed with university to go see before sunset. at first it felt much more movie, much more planned out, than the first film, but it eventually slipped into that same ease of before sunrise. both films are great and i recommend that everyone see them. but i may have loved them even more because they (especially the first one) felt really relevant right now. but anyway. brock and i came back home to eat something. we talked about renting another movie, but that seemed a little much. so we sprawled around on the futon and made rice krispie treats. morgan and brock started talking degrassi, so i escaped into the den and watched a little pulp fiction with the folks. unfortunately, they were showing it on encore, with all the profanity dubbed over, in full-screen, with commercials and little ads popping up at the bottom of the screen. i really, really, really hate tv. morgan and brock came in and turned on damn noggin. i admit that i left the room on purpose, took on my goddamn contacts, and fell asleep in my tent with the light on. it was barely 10:30. i'm a wimp. brock left me a nice note on my blinds, though. at 12:30, brandon called and woke me up. we only got to talk for 20 minutes but it was still nice. afterwards, i called william with my free long-distance on weekend nights. i've been wanting to talk to him for a long time, but after i got that massive phone bill, i was nervous to use lots of moneys. but i got to talk to him for a solid 45 minutes and it was really nice. he's been so busy, doing lots of things. he dispelled the rumor about him and cherie getting married to buy a house... they'd made a joke in frustration about money for college, saying that if they got married, college would cost less. i hate not hearing things directly from people because of all this fucking twisting around that things go through. at any rate. i woke up far too early -- before anyone else in the family. serves me right for going to bed so damn early. i wash sorting laundry and i found brandon's hulk bandana. it's weird how it's taking me so long to find all the things he left. thank god i'm never giving them back.

just a thought

i might delete my comments again because they're slipping into unuse. any protestors?

god damn internet

today wasn't too bad at school. laylee gave me her turkey sandwich at lunch. and although i got back two horrible test grades, i managed to stay in a pretty good mood. life is good because:
1) kraftwerk in german class
2) meg and i planned a wes anderson party
3) voodoo music fest
after school, brock played chauffer by taking kathryn home and dropping morgan off at eileen's house. he, laylee, and i searched for food in east memphis. laylee and i ended up with glorious chick-fil-a sandwiches and sweet sweet distillers in the car. is it said that brody dalle gives me chills? i think not. we came home and cuddled (and a little more) before laylee got picked up to go to gone with the wind at the orpheum with kevin. brock and i headed over to java cabana to meet up with heather (who is adorable!). aside from soothing my wicked craving for a cinnamon milkshake, i had an awesome time hanging out with her and swinging at peabody like always. she is a very cool girl who i hope to see more of. now i have settled down for a long winter's nap with a vanilla coke to my left and a stack of my father's compilation CDs to my right. i've got to enter them into a database i'm making for him as payment for an outrageous cell phone bill. i could really go for a milkshake and a black and mild, but it'll have to wait.

listening to: empress - a very small step

SWEET LORD

so who's up for this shit? ideally, we could all drive down to new orleans for a weekend, but if parents aren't up for it, my dad has volunteered oh-so-selflessly haha to go. i think i'd just about die if we could make this work.... pleeeeeease can we try? oh my. please tell me you guys will ask your units about this. i need something to live for.

listening to: nancy sinatra - bang bang

i'll start as his knees and i'll end in his dreams

today was pretty shitty. right now i'm in a good mood for some inexplicable reason... most likely because of the nice group chat we had after school by my locker. we should do that every day because it was very nice. lunch was pretty good, also. other than that, my day was absolutely horrible. i had 3 tests in a row, all of which i failed. no joke. i felt really stupid and then i had to go to government and get even more depressed. well at least tomorrow's friday, and we're hopefully having a party at meg's house on saturday. as long as i can look forward to these things, i'll make it through today. hope everyone else is doing well.

cause for excitement

or... a reason to live? whatever you call it, laylee and LA are on their way to pick me up, and i am very excited. i don't know what we're doing, but i don't give a shit because i LOVE THOSE GIRLS! honestly i don't get to see them enough, and i'm in the perfect mood to do something lovely and just talk and be good. or bad... i really don't care either way, as long as i'm with those fine ladies! also i really crave a piece of pizza. and this food thing? yeah, it's getting really bad. i've got to stop eating so much. anyone care to help with my starvation? ho ho ho i'm only half kidding.

listening to: tullycraft - sent to the moon

everybody's parents are crazy

except mine. if anybody needs to spend some time away from home, i invite you here. i'm sure my units could handle it. in other news, i love chex mix. i've been eating entirely too much lately. also i hate riding the bus home. mostly i hate the waiting around part that we do before we even think about walking to the bus stop. if we could hang around, and then instantaneously arrive at home, i would be much happier. brett and sallis, i assign you the job of building me a portal. hop to it, lads! this week is incredibly long. i want to die. i'm watching movie trailers because the alternative is sleeping. of course, the only time i want to sleep is when i have piles of homework left. i'm done for the night, and what can i say? i require no pillow.

laugh it up

i love lemon poppyseed bread from la baguette. and polaroids. and a boy. and vanilla coke. mmmmm.
i am obviously in a better mood than earlier. i really want to leave the house, but i cannot. yesterday i saw garden state and it was fucking amazing. everyone really needs to see that movie. it's really beautiful, and parts of it said things i needed to hear right now. so. yes. also last night i got to hang out with katherine for the first time since fucking casey jones. that is REALLY weird to realize, but it's true. and then of course i left my cell phone and purse in her car somehow. it's very weird because we got into the car and as we were pulling out of the driveway, i said "oh no i left my purse inside!" so katherine had to pay for my subway sandwich and then when we got back home, i couldn't find my purse to pay her back. it was nuts. oh well. also mouse's mom got mad at him for trying to stay out later and he's in trouble with her and i feel awful.
i have to pee. i miss everyone.

my purse has been found, thanks for your concern. today is drab and dreary. i'm in a horrible mood. happy birthday to brock, in any case.

has anyone seen my damn purse?!

deadly food stuffs

i'm eating an egg scrambles and i think it's going to kill me. it's something i found in my freezer that's possibly a year old and dead to all the world. ah well. i need energy. all i've had today is a bunch of chips with cheese sauce at el mezcal, some crackers at lunch, and a couple spoonfuls of cool whip. mmmmmm. diet, how i love thee.

it always feels like you're leaving

love mix deux made for me by brandon. i got it in the mail yesterday, and it's quite nice. i'm posting the track list here since he didn't write it down. you don't have to pay attention.

01) phoebe carrai - bach's cello suite no. 1 (prelude)
02) throwing muses - mr. bones
03) the stooges - i wanna be your dog
04) yeah yeah yeahs - no no no
05) björk - cocoon
06) pj harvey - electric light
07) a tribe called quest - 8 million stories
08) iggy pop - tiny girls
09) violent femmes - good feeling
10) godspeed you! black emperor - sleep
11) bright eyes - pull my hair
12) throwing muses - serene

i carry you around

today a million people moved to our lunch. it's nice, but chaotic. mr. isom has been absent for two days, and i've gotten lots of time to talk to laylee, LA, and brock in psychology. i took my "waiting for godot" make up essay test today, and i did horribly. i realized halfway through that i'd set it up wrong, but... oh well. i didn't even bother trying to fix it, and just ploughed onward. maybe she will commend me for being different HAHAHAH. morgan and i rode the bus home for the first time today. it's nice being able to control what time you go home. in all, today was much better than yesterday, when i had a horrible pain in my stomach area all day. and better than tuesday, because tuesday is the worst day of the week. although yesterday i did get my package from brandon, which always makes me really happy. he sent me back my cell phone, so if you've been trying to call me for a week and a half and getting no alanna, that is why. feel free to call away now. he also sent me a really great mix. i can post the track list if anyone cares to know what's on it. anyway. everybody have an awesome friday tomorrow. oh, and on saturday, everyone must come to my house. no questions. be here.

listening to: the olympics commentators

SO TIRED. I WANT TO DIE.

listening to: the mountain goats - grendel's mother

what!

i can't believe how late it is, how little i've done, and how tired i am. this is just ridiculous. i hate school. and i was supposed to enjoy this year, too. who the fuck fixed up my grand plan? i need redecorating.

a girl has got to hide away

today i stayed home from school to get over that damn fever. i was actually really annoyed to miss the first full monday of the school year, especially since i had two tests. but whatever, i would rather not infect anyone else. so anyway. i have to go "study" for my passage to india/july's people test, and debate whether or not to do friday's pre-calculs homework. (our text book's spine is actually mispelled. isn't that terrifying?)
i am eating godiva ice cream -- creamy vanilla with chocolate covered cookies and godvia chocolate chunks. mmmmmm sweet lord.

listening to: bangs - call + response

one of my biggest pet peeves

when i'm genuinely irritated with someone, i make a sort of snippy comment, and they think i'm kidding. laughter does not make a good apology. it's a slap in the face. it only says to me that people i am close to can't tell the difference between when i'm angry and when i'm happy, and that makes me very sad.

listening to: the microphones - i love you so much!