Monday, September 26, 2005

i woke up without reason to smile. i tried; i was even saying hello to strangers. little good it did me now with no hope and no soul. i yell at my father, feel nothing. push my boots firm on each block of pavement, a rush to the head. fill me stone kill me clean. i stay on track, but i don't get what i almost had. happiness evades me like tomorrow, i have done it wrong. there's no money in my pocket and i continue to make small terrible mistakes. i didn't call. i did. i fell asleep. i fell off a building. i spoke. i didn't. whatever is said and done, i'm still wrong, still unhappy, still can't drive, still not free. it's the lesson i missed although i emulate it rather well when i think no one's looking. prick me where he left whole flesh. sink the stickers in. before the prince could cut the thorns down, sleeping me jumped in.

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