Sunday, February 01, 2004

some catchy shit. look out for the loop. although i'd let it run at least twice, if i were you.
yesterday was birthday day. school was nice except for lunch and history... i'm shit for fuck. if you know what i mean. we had that history discussion, and during lunch i completely freaked out. my anxiety always gets the better of me in the end, and i sat there with my head on the picnic table instead of eating. before class, margaret tried to comfort me... it was really sweet and good of her. "it doesn't matter in the long run, these people don't matter, you're really much more articulate than you think," etc. but i still cried. it was pretty shitty, but thank god we had a shortened period. in the end, i raised my hand and said a little sentence, but i think ms. ervin still hates me brutally. possibly more, because now she can't give me a 0 for the test. AT ANY RATE. we had a pep ralley, which was okay and everything. it was kind of cool coming into the gym, with the vast amount of people that i know at this point in time. "my people" seemed to take up a huge portion of the junior class bleachers. i REALLY wanted to go sit with laylee and becca, because the latter had wanted to tell me about the nice time she had the day before. it involved peacocks, and NOW I'LL NEVER KNOW because there was no way in hell to get to them. i sat next to robin, in front of brock, lauren, katie, and LA. katherine did a lovely job on cymbals -- that bitch knows how to crash. after school, i was incredibly late for the pro bono meeting (sorry, tarah). katherine and i started talking about CELLOS (my favorite thing) and i got really distracted. gahhh. but tarah, you've gotta clue me in on what i missed. very sorry. i don't even know what i'm supposed to really write about. after that ordeal, katherine drove me and LA to edo's only to find it closed. we tried every fucking asian place on summer, and they were all closed -- until FORMOSA. we called brock, who was attempting to buy my birthday present of the tiny tap shoes from park ave thrift, but they were already sold. he met up with us shortly after, and we ordered fried shrip, fried rice, and sesame chicken as an after-school snack. it was nice, considering i hadn't consumed anything all day. after that, LA and katherine had to go buy me a gift or something, so they flew off. brock and i went back to my house, and hung out, and eventually called people to tell them to start coming over.
guest list-- brock, katherine, LA, sallis, alice, laylee, becca, william, eileen, mouse, foot. (plus mi familia)
missing-- technically, a lot of people. among them were margaret, zoe, lauren, allison, jenny, elizabeth, brittany, katie a, brandon, kristin hersh.
some of those
at any rate. mom rented 5 bollywood movies, got a chocolate ice cream cake from baskin-robbins, bought about 300 million sodas, ordered 4 pizzas. my parents are so sweet to go so far as to get a vegetarian pizza for the 3 who were there. dazzling! i will have to bring them the leftovers. plants.... shudder. god, i love the bread group.
presents in chronological order:
--a really sweet, nostalgia-inducing letter from brittany in purple glitter pen. she put on a cow parade sticker (i love cows) and brian froud stickers (i love brian froud) and it had penguins on it (i love penguins.) i really need to send her a letter.
--outing with brock on thursday after school. it isn't supposed to be a birthday present; it was just sweet, and i loved it. donuts, yarn, french. wine, women, song.
--outing with kevin on thursday night. though he had no money, he would not let me spend any. we swang swings, we rode camels, we saw god. (well. buddha, at any rate.)
--half of an ad in some fashion magazine, doodled upon by the glorious becca. it made my day very happy, to see it every time i opened my backpack. oh my how i flaunted that shit.
--devil eyes from ms. ervin that make me feel like an idiot
--picture frame and photo of eiffel tower, each painted upon by alice. arty and awesome. alice is the heppest of the cats.
--$100 amazon.com gift certificate from the fam
--package from katie. it would be nice enough to just get a letter, but the girl sent the new reissues of francesca lia block's ecstasia and primavera, as well a bag she knitted (knat?) for me. aww what a beautiful girl, stuck in arkansas with only wal-mart and no alanna. i feel so horrible for never writing.
--poem from brandon. sweet jesus what a boy is that one. if i ever find him, i'll keep him.
--paragraphs from morgan. a beautiful duck of a sister.
--IOU card for adorable huggable illnesses and an entire red velvet cake with cream cheese icing, made entirely by dear sir sallis
--3 inflatable microphones, 2 inflatable guitars, and card from LA. i feel like a total rock star now, and i can start a band no problem. who's with me?!
--korean and chinese candy bought at the asian market from katherine. although i wish she had gotten me the soft cup INSTEAD. ho ho ho. in truth, i am enjoying 2 watermelon bubble gums as we speak. and the strawberry cookies were quite nice. the yanyan was my favorite, i think.
--first 4 episodes of serial experiments lain on dvd from dad
--first 16 episodes of aqua teen hunger force on dvd from morgan
--"24 hour party people" on dvd from mom
--HOTT thrift sweater from eileen. very red and fuzzy. not unlike eileen's beautiful head.
--lots of love from laylee. she spent the night even though she wasn't supposed to. oh sweet jeebus.
--the presence of all my lovers
--no cds. i just realized that. normally that's all i get. ho ho ho.
it was a nice birthday. if nothing else, it sure fucking beats last year's out of the ballpark. i hope everyone enjoyed themselves, as i did. dancing to bollywood, cuddling like a mad dog god dam, and you know. many many thank you's to everyone who came. i was kind of sad that mom didn't sing the special birthday song. aww. it's cool. also brandon didn't call me like i expected, because the number wasn't working? i guess i typed it wrong or something, after his cell phone ate it the first time.
everybody left at just about the exact same time last night, at around 10:30. laylee was very mad, and it was adorable. we lay in my bed and listened to the new k-48 which has several amazingly happy songs. she didn't want me to be alone and get sad, so she spent the night, along with eileen and foot. foot fell asleep relatively early, in morgan's bed. eileen and morgan trekked to my room, where we talked briefly before, at about 1am i guess, the four of us fell asleep rather haphazardly spread across the bed. laylee and i were on one pillow, which i stole during the night. i hit my head on the cold cold cold windowsill a lot. the covers were sparse. i woke up with eileen's nose between my toes. laylee was completely void of blanket, and had resorted to a towel she found between the matress and the bed frame. it was all nice. laylee and i somehow woke together at 9am. i pried my foot out of eileen's face, and we crept out of bed. mom was upset that we were awake because she hadn't been to la baguette yet, and wanted to have pastries for us when we woke up. so she went right then, and came back with cinnamon rolls, chocolate croissants, and pecan bun thingies. we feasted while watching "aqua teen hunger force" which MIRACLE OF MIRACLES, my mother enjoyed!! she never likes cartoons i like. it was kind of nice. laylee's grandmother had to pick her up to go shopping at 11:30, so we said our goodbyes. goodbye, my love. oh oh. my mom looked at some of the fountain day pictures, and kept saying how happy/pretty becca is. it was very sweet. she liked our happy kissy pictures. why does no one recognize brock in those photos? what a sexy beast.
after laylee left, mom took me to the lost in paradise store for their 50-75% off sale. it was nice. i tried on LOTS AND LOTS of happy, pretty things. i hate being short and weird-shaped. it's hard to find nice things. but i did get two skirts for school -- one is really cool and the other is really soft. i got a really simplistic shirt that mom liked, and a velvet coat/jacket thingie. it's all very black and white, which is kind of depressing. oh well. it's not my fault the colorful things were badly sized or crappy looking. i also got some lobster earrings, which i find hilarious. whoaihwhahahehaoihaahaeha. okay. we spent way too much money, but it's nice to know that the clothes we bought were expensive because they WEREN'T made by poor children in sweat shops.
i came home and ate. eileen and foot were still here, watching "moulin rouge." i called brock, and we talked for a few minutes. eileen and foot left. morgan went to see "girl with the pearl earring" with mariana. i watched my bjork videos dvd that phyllis gave me for christmas, that sweet woman. katherine came over, and we editted. i felt like we got a lot a lot a lot done, but it wasn't that much, really. oh well. it was nice. brock came over, and then katherine had to leave. we watched "24 hour party people" with my family. i really like that movie. especially the "first act" featuring joy division and a great man playing ian curtis. after that, we sort of talked for a few minutes before morgan put on the "lain" dvd. it was 10:30 and brock had to leave. i hate curfews. it's last year all over again for me. gahhh the inability to drive. i really need a permit.
i was in a really grouchy mood a lot today, and unnecessarily unnice to the family and everything, i think. i have been hyper-emotion for a few days. it's shitty. i'm really sorry to anyone who has been in its path.

listening to: ice cream - letter to memphis (pixies cover)