i'm a naughty girl.
again i can't stop thinking about suicide.
about the perfect timing.
about who will find me first and i can see their faces.
i know they'd get over it.
i have planned sixteen different set-ups.
but i still don't have that kind of courage
and i'm already disappointing them enough.
no, it's not your fault
really
that the subject has even come up in my head again.
it's me.
my need for someone.
it doesn't even matter
really
that you brought forth a few tears
hidden for so long.
or that you think it's funny
how upset i get
over something that you can't see.
don't worry though.
right now i'm too tired to be dangerous.
good night.
you won't remember anything tomorrow.