enjoy some tunes while you guzzle down all this emo content

Tuesday, December 24, 2002

i dont care enough to post anymore guys. well. it's christmas eve. elise spent the night last night and i think her music video is pretty much done (explanation here) so go watch it. also we saw the two towers, which we all loved. especially gollum and legolas and gimli and i dislike arwen and i wanted to see more eomer. but if you havent seen it, then DO. i liked it better than the first movie but i dont know... i know that i will get killed for saying this but i didnt actually find the book all that amazing. sorry guys.... the story and the mythology behind it are definitely the best things about the book but i just really couldn't get into it at all. i feel like the movies have fleshed out the characters so much more, as well as making tolkein's land a reality. i dont know, come argue with me i guess. the comments are open to the public, you know.

Friday, December 20, 2002

so i was trying to edit "untouchable face" when all of a sudden it did this crazy error and asked me to quit. so i do, and it says "the project file is not readable" and shows me that my clips still exist but it won't actually let me get to them to edit or watch. so dad kicks me off the computer and messes around for a few hours. i lie on the couch in misery and watch Noggin in sheer desperadoes. when dad is done doing his own stuff, we get on the Apple discussion groups and try to get some help. dad makes me leave to eat ice cream and lie on the couch in more desperadoes. but everything is okay! we use BBEdit to fix some screwed up text in the file and the movie still plays like a dream. i am hoping to upload it soon but i've gotta ask the host and make sure. the movie isnt done yet but it's 8.9MB. since yesterday at noon ended the first semester of the school year and the entire DYKWYCA team is now on Winter Break, we are free to work on movies. so i PROMISE that "untouchable face" will be done by the time break is over. even if it's not perfect. that part will come later. sorry for rambling, guys, have a wonderful break!

Tuesday, December 17, 2002

one of the archive weeks is disappearing. it's pretty distressing. i'm trying to fix it. let me know if it actually exists and i'm blind, please.

Saturday, December 14, 2002

Carrie Brownstein
Which Sleater-Kinney Girl Are You?


hahahaha
12/12/02 Kill Rock Stars newsletter:

"Mary Hansen from the 5RC band Schema, and also from Stereolab, was killed in East London on Monday afternoon after being struck by a car while riding her bicycle. She was 36.

Although no-one at KRS/5RC had actually ever met Mary, we considered her one of us, and we grieve. We feel fortunate to have been able to release some of her work during her time here on Earth. Our condolences go out to her friends and family and band-mates. The world has lost a great one."

Schema - We Think We're Sane (Mp3)(site)
absolutely brilliant song. it's spinning off into another dimension and feeling very firmly rooted to the floor at the same time. i think the roots come from mary's voice because she knows just what she's saying. if it wasn't there, this song might be the soundtrack to some low-budget outer-space movie. it's amazing. i can't find any lyrics, but please listen really as closely as you can. when you hear this you'll believe that the world has indeed lost a great one.

Friday, December 13, 2002

elise's article (see post from 11/12) finally came out in the school newspaper, The Scoll, today. it was so exciting! my wonderful energy was floating around all day plus it was snowing plus things were just beautiful. i am really trying to finish up "untouchable face."

in other news, morgan was filmed in a scene for morgan fox's movie, blue citrus hearts, on monday.

Thursday, December 12, 2002

crazy week i dont know whats going on. had a nice weekend. can't really remember it. ha. it's the morning time and i am about to leave.

Wednesday, December 11, 2002

i am used to backseats
daughter/mother
sister/brother
lovie/lover
i am used to the backseat
i fit there fine
behind what is happening
i see
hearts
i am learning to sit
in between friends
i feel
hearts
warm and this is where
love is

Sunday, December 08, 2002

in the aeroplane over the sea


What a beautiful face
I have found in this place
That is circling all round the sun
What a beautiful dream
That could flash on the screen
In a blink of an eye and be gone from me
Soft and sweet
Let me hold it close and keep it here with me

And one day we will die
And our ashes will fly from the aeroplane over the sea
But for now we are young
Let us lay in the sun
And count every beautiful thing we can see
Love to be
In the arms of all I'm keeping here with me

Anna's ghost all around
Hear her voice as it's rolling and ringing through me
Soft and sweet
How the notes all bend and reach above the trees

Now how I remember you
How I would push my fingers through
Your mouth to make those muscles move
That made your voice so smooth and sweet
And now we keep where we don't know
All secrets sleep in winter clothes
With one you loved so long ago
Now he don't even know his name

What a beautiful face
I have found in this place
That is circling all round the sun
And when we meet on a cloud
I'll be laughing out loud
I'll be laughing with everyone I see
Can't believe how strange it is to be anything at all

--neutral milk hotel

Tuesday, December 03, 2002

where's your full-time gear?

thanksgiving was nice. i didn't really do anything for most of the week. i went home with elise on tuesday to take care of her poor head, which is a lie. it was an excuse for me to be there. she hurt her head, if you didn't know. read her thing about it. her dad didn't want her to drive the car in her condition, which didn't really make sense to either of us, so we sat at her house and watched creepy TV called drew carey and home improvement. linda, elise's mother, fed us wonderful food and then robin came over and was fed too. linda actually offered to drive us somewhere, too! so we picked up laylee and came to my house and watched a charlie brown christmas. we sat around and cast and recast for our movie version. it was great fun. i can't really remember what all we did but it was a nice night. first robin got picked up by her mother, then elise got picked up by her sister lena who had just gotten back in town. i filmed the reunion. it was lovely. then laylee got picked up by her crazy brother who refused to come to the door but sat out in his car for like five years. it was nice. a nice night. the next day i got packed and sat around and elise came over for a couple hours and we worked on untouchable face. she left about an hour before we did. i spent most of my thanksgiving break in jackson, mississippi with my grandparents. i bought two cds - grace by jeff buckley and trompe le monde by the pixies. you should know that "letter to memphis" (the song on which this blog's name is based) is on that pixies album. download it immediately and read the lyrics. it's a beautiful song. anyway i like both cds a lot but i have only listened to each one once. thanksgiving dinner was at cracker barrel with my parents and my grandparent since morgan felt too sick to go. when we got back, we found out she has step throat. poor baby. so yes we got back on saturday afternoon and i think we mostly just sat around for most of the day. my family went to see harry potter around 4 and they liked it. i am very glad i did not go. elise, lena, and brock picked me up at about 7 to go to elise's house where we ate thanksgiving leftovers with kevin, robin, and acacia. elise's brother aaron was there with his friends so we didnt really see him. lena was making clothes and the parentals were off doing god-knows-what so they were basically absent as well. we did get to see a lot of charlie, lena's dog that's part coyote or wolf or something. i had a lovely evening. brock filmed a lot. kevin drove brock, elise (haha) and i home. he and elise broke up practically right after they left my house. i don't think elise is having a very good week. i am waiting for her to call.
i feel awkward and clumsy in these halls
because of eyes and eyes and eyes
faces i never knew
i used to watch the ground
strange taking my eyes off my shoes
to reach
strange thing my hand out of my pocket
to wave
strange in prison
to smile

Wednesday, November 27, 2002

i've started doing some editting for "untouchable face". if i wasn't going out of town in about half an hour, then i definitely would finish editting by the time Thanksgiving break is over. but since i am, i can't really make a good estimate. footage is looking great though. maybe i will make some new stills for the page. until then, have a happy turkey day!

Monday, November 25, 2002

keep away from the freaks on the fringe. they only talk to you cuz you give them a good excuse to cry.

i had a great weekend. i got to hang out with robin, brock, elise, and LAYLEE! it was wonderful. on friday, brock and elise picked me up around 4(?). i think the only reason they drove all the way out to my house is because brock wanted ethiopian food. (i live next to abyssinia.) i can't remember how it came up, but we called laylee, who was HOME for once! so we went to go get her and then we got robin. by that point we were very far away from abyssinia and we were headed towards elise's house, so we decided to go there for pizza. at the last second we changed our minds and went to jersey mike's where we got sandwhiches except laylee who was practically broke so she shared mine. then we walked around walgreens and hung out outside the kroger and i pushed elise around in one of those creepy kids carts. keith appeared at some point and it was awkward, especially when i whispered to elise who he was and she couldn't stop stuttering. so he left. brock filmed people going into kroger and we got lots of Disapproving Looks. it was great. then elise and robin drove off. laylee and brock bonded beautifully and i talked to jerry (the camera). elise and robin came back eventually. they tried to make me pee in someone's yard but we ended up just coming to my house and sitting around. then we thought it would be fun if we all spent the night with elise. so while she called her mom i talked to my parents. so brock wasn't allowed to sleep at elise's house sadly, and robin couldn't stay because it was her mom's birthday the next day. so laylee and i spent the night with elise and it was wonderful. mostly we just sat around and talked and goofed off. it was great. she had to take us home before 2 so we played on the playground by Richland a little bit and then elise drove us home. it was weird, being driven home like that. not that i didn't enjoy it. i love me some lise.
so i hung out at home for a little while before we went to the screening of momo's curse at the media co-op. they had some technical problems but it turned out to be okay. wow i remember that i had lots to say about it but i can't remember anything. there were four different camera angles at all times, which was a very good idea since the play was so insane but i don't think the camera people had any instruction or anything. so there was one camera that was just a wide shot the whole time and you couldnt see a damn thing that was actually happening. one camera had no tripod and it was absolutely insane and kept closing up on random people in the audience or random bits of set. the other two were better camerapeople, even though one of them was tinted red for some reason. i dont know that anyone really understood the concept of the play. or maybe they just needed to have better planning. they mostly filmed bill. like most of the time, four cameras were on him and one (if we were lucky) was on some part of the (massive) ensemble. and as filmmakers, i think that the camera guys were very intent on detail and imagery. so you would see a really interesting image, like somebodys disembodied hands doing something, but it would be completely wrong because you had no sense of what was going on, which is fairly bad in a play. everyone in the theatre had seen the play of course, because it was just the company and friends, but it was kind of crazy. the surrealist scene looked great though. lots was missing from the chaos scene after that though. in fact lots of bits were quite disappointing, which is not to say that it isn't completely AWESOME that the co-op even did that, for free and taking time away from their own projects. thank you, co-op. we love you to death and pieces. also it was very nice getting to see OOV people again, even though not everyone came. so after visiting a bit, i went with the fam to cafe ole down the street where we had a very quick quick quick dinner before morgan and i went back to first congo to see the Lucero documentary, which was great. margaret, katherine warren, melanie, melissa, and alice were all there. it was a good time, plus i got one of those great organic sodas and morgan got those great organic jelly beans and khy shared some of his organic popcorn with us. it made up for the tiny dinner.
right now i am really regretting all the songs i never did for music log. i regret leaving but i felt like i had to and i think it's best that i did. so i guess that you guys are going to start getting little music reviews and downloadables here, if you don't mind. music log has really gone downhill though, i feel like. 11/23 post should be proof enough. as if the writing isn't bad enough, is anyone keeping up with archives? how come morgan got kicked off, if she's not even really being replaced? the only reason she was supposed to leave, originally, was because there were going to be six new people, plus brittany, and everyone would have one day. but brittany still has all her days, billy has all my days, and evan has morgan's day? it's crazy, i swear. and the music? well i have this playlist of 220 songs that have been done on music log at some point. i rate my songs with iTunes, and all the old posts have four or five stars. the new ones range from two to three stars. maybe i need to change with the times or something but i like what i like and what can i say? so i'm not impressed by these bands called McLusky and Minus the Bear and i never DID like Grandaddy or The Smiths. all these bands are so damn generic! they don't sound like anything and they don't sound unique, much less interesting. it's not that there's no good music left online. seriously, i can find tons. look at this.

Electrelane - Many Peaks (Mp3)(site)
beautiful beautiful beautiful song! it starts mellow and gets really intense and goes back to mellow. it's instrumental rock but for once it's NOT BORING!! alanna thinks that most instrumental rock is shit. believe me, guys, this song is great. there's guitar and piano but there are strings, horns, and clarinets too. it makes me want to bounce around and i would if i wasn't pretending to do english homework. plus this band is on Mr. Lady which just increases their coolness by about a billion.

Thursday, November 21, 2002

drinking tea instead of gin

this week is insanely long and ungood. i even stayed home sick on monday and i feel like we should have had a Friday years ago. but farther back... this weekend was very good. i went home with elise on friday. brock gave us a tour of his crib (which is like a hotel, i swear. there are about ten staircases. there's this balcony thing that overlooks this huge ballroom kind of place, and there's just a couch there for no reason. i don't think it's ever been sat on. i'm moving into his closet. it's huge and it smells like hamster.) elise got a call from her mom that her article about Do You Know Where Your Children Are? Productions article is going to be on the front page of the school newspaper!!! she was radiating excitement all evening. brock said he felt like he'd written the article and i felt like that too. we decided that we are one being. we went to some roly poly place for dinner but i couldn't make up my mind on what to order so i didn't have anything. we took brock back to his mansion and drove around. we ended up at first congregational church, where the media co-op lives. the door to that was locked so we went in someplace else and wandered around until we found them. i felt really weird being there, like we'd intruded (which we did) even though they said that they didn't mind. they seemed so busy too even though they said they weren't doing anything. so i left elise to talk to them and i walked around outside the building. it was cold. apparently i worried elise because she thought i was in the theatre and when she found out that i wasn't she and josh went around calling my name in the parking lot. i don't know how i missed them but i did. then elise ran around cooper-young trying to find me. apparently it was pretty scary. sorry, elise. we found each other eventually and went to elise's house to watch morgan and josh's movie, which they had loaned to her. it was messing up on her dvd player for some reason. there was sound in the first scene but then it just disappeared completely. so we had to come all the way to my house to watch it on my computer. that worked, but elise had to leave (curfew) before it was over. she came back and we finished it on saturday night. then we drove to media co-op and harassed morgan [fox] some more. they let us use their microwave to pop our popcorn. they are very nice.
sunday was pretty normally crappy. the end.
uhhh. week. monday i was sick. tuesday i was loaded with work and up really late (it was my fault for seeing a movie with the pro bono club). wednesday i went home with elise and we did homework. when she brought me home we watched the "deleated" scene in three minutes. today is bad and i shouldn't be online. this week is boring and terrible. make it end.

Friday, November 15, 2002

shot a little bitty bit for "untouchable face" today.... katherine says she has too much work, so "much finer" will probably be delayed a lot. everyone is really excited about Charlie Brown Christmas plans, and we can't wait for it to snow!! if anyone has advice on using actual mics with a digitial camera then uh... can they let us know?

elise submitted her DYKWYCA article (see 11/12 post) to the school newspaper and it is going to be printed on the front page!!! since nearly everyone in DYKWYCA is part of a Collective Being, our Self is very excited about making it on the front. way to go, everyone!

in other news, go rent three minutes (based upon a revolution of the sun) at black lodge video.

also brittany has dropped out of the company. she may come back some time, but no one is really sure when that will be.
i am not sorry i said it
i am sorry i did not say it all
i could have gone for hours
but she was slipping
goodbye and i still can't hold her attention
nothing hit the right way
did i miss my target
or did the target run?
i could have said
"you drained me dry"
to the point where i
couldn't find comfort in similarities
needed to find separation
i needed
something beautiful for myself
something she could not
steal/perfect
they would not have loved you three years ago

Thursday, November 14, 2002

The Fury

she helped me find courage and recognize beauty
she took it too far
she was nothing
and i was lost
she helped me understand she understood
she was lovely
she was not enough
and i was alone
she helped me become
she sees me
she is beautiful
and i am loved
that's a pretty nice haircut

elise is amazing. she is running this canned-food drive all by herself at like... three different schools. so this morning she announced it, on the tv thingie, and these people in my homeroom behind me were awful.
girl: she's weird.
guy: her hair looks like a boy.
girl: her hair looks like yours!
guy: why does she talk like that?

et cetera. it was really awful. the most awful thing was that I DIDN'T SAY ANYTHING. i couldn't think of anything to say at first and then by the time i realized that they had stopped talking, it was too late for me to say something and be relevant. i doubt that they would have held the incident in their minds for that long. so since elise is going to be making this announcement tomorrow and the rest of next week, i am going to defend her to death kind of. it was just awful because i had this two-hour conversation with her on tuesday night in which we talked about a lot, including people's reactions to her hair and everything. and plus elise is a completely amazing person. don't doubt it.

Wednesday, November 13, 2002

this week is weird. i'm still bipolar but sort of even more so? to a lesser extent? ahahhahahaha god. but yeah. reports today. DO NOT EVEN ASK. i should be doing homework but i'm really not. so uh. i'm gonna go avoid homework elsewhere.

Tuesday, November 12, 2002

From Home Movies to Music Videos

By: Elise Masur



Every Saturday, Memphis' very own Media Co-Op (1000 South Cooper) shows an assortment of short films created by locals. The directors of these films usually have no professional equipment or financial backing. However, to see a 13-year-old and her 15-year-old sister generate an astounding music video is something unusual to these already remarkable filmmakers.



So, how exactly did White Station Sophomore Alanna Stewart decide to start a "production company"? "We just did a short film called 'Romeo and Juliet Revisited' as an extra credit project, but Katherine (Dohan) entered it into the Memphis Digital Arts Film Festival over the summer. We were recognized as notable film makers, and seeing everyone else's homemade movies was really inspiring." After having always wanted to make films, witnessing the simple yet notable works of others helped Alanna and her friends realize just how easy it could be. "We never even use a tripod!"



The result, "Do You Know Where Your Children Are? Productions," is comprised of seven high schoolers and one middle schooler. Each video is filmed with a regular camcorder and edited on the Stewarts' home computer. So far, they have decided to take on eight different filming expeditions, each one chiefly directed by a different member of the production group. Even though they've only created two films, they have been well received, even by their teachers. Alanna and Katherine's ninth grade CLUE teacher Mrs. Kitts, who helped give life to "Romeo and Juliet Revisited," said, "They were brilliant…It was wonderful."



Crediting last summer's film festival as their inspiration, Alanna said, "The night it ended, my sister was coming up with visual ideas to put to this song…by a band I really love." Voila, last Saturday, 13-year-old Morgan Stewart watched on as her video to "Get Up" by Sleater-Kinney played on the silver screen.



When asked about the premiere, [Alanna] said, "I loved seeing it up there. I thought that I was going to be nervous like at Romeo and Juliet, but I just got really into seeing our work up there and knowing that these people would appreciate it for what it was and what we are…I felt like we'd accomplished so much since Romeo and Juliet…I want it to feel like that with every movie we make."

Sunday, November 10, 2002

we don't have to get along

i'm having a great weekend. friday was a half day, so we did aboslutely NOTHING in school. we had two and a half classes and a basketball game which i chose not to go to. in geometry, we played with calculators and didn't get in trouble. in etymology, we read the school newspaper and i took notes on movie ideas for elise. in biology, i filmed things. then we watched part of tarzan and i tried to read a farewell to arms. don't let anyone try to tell you that that book is not about sex, drugs, and rock n roll. then we were dismissed at 11:10. kevin and his sister emily drove behind elise and i on the way to oak court mall for luncheon. robin and a huge group of people were walking, and at some red light we stopped and waved at them. doug godwin RAN ACROSS POPLAR and got into elise's car, which was beginning to move, and was thereby thrown across the entire backseat as we turned into the parking lot. i swear, the entire population of white station was there. i didn't have any money so i just filmed people eating. elise drove robin home and then we had very meaningful conversation on all levels. we went to elise's house and drove around. she changed out of her uniform and we went and stole morgan from lindenwood, and went straight back to elise's house (next to borders) so that she wouldn't be late for her doctor's appointment, where she got an evil flu shot and almost lost her voice. morgan and i sat around the Masur house and watched labyrinth. when elise got home, we picked up robin and went back to elise's house where, after conference, we called kevin and told him he had to be the star of elise's music video and we needed him at that very second. (oh yeah. elise and kevin are broken up but they don't act like it. hence, elise deciding to do "untouchable face" for her music video.) so we walked to the park and waited. then we filmed some things and it went really well, i think. i forgot to use the cool effect the whole time but i think it will be ok. i'm sad that i can't make that effect happen once i get the footage onto the computer. then elise, morgan, and robin drove to burger king and kevin and i followed. there, kevin paid for me to have dinner, which was fries. i also ordered a small water so that elise could throw it all over kevin. it was a really great shot. poor thing was cold for the rest of the night though. then elise drove robin, morgan, and i around for a while trying to lose kevin. we were actually going to try to go to laylee's house but we got really turned around and suddenly we were going the opposite direction on yates. so we didn't lose him and we went towards black lodge. the whole way we had the sun roof and a couple windows rolled down, singing at the top of our lungs. the best moment of course was when we got to listen to "Debaser" by the pixies and sing to kevin behind us. he also had his sun roof down and was singing at the top of his lungs. he told us later that elise had nearly hit about 2935070239 different things while trying to dance and drive. at black lodge, elise rented morgan fox and josh laurenzi's movie three minutes (based upon the revolution of the sun) but as far as i know, she hasn't had a chance to watch it yet. so we hung out there for a little while and walked around cooper-young and attempted to stalk josh and morgan fox but it didnt work. so we said goodbye to kevin and elise drove robin home. then we went home with elise just to get my backpack and my camera stuff because i had left it there thinking we would come back like. right after the park. so i'm sorry for wasting all of elise's gas but i love love loved getting to talk to her and be in the car for the extra time. it's the first time that i haven't been the first one to get dropped off. i'm so glad i don't have a curfew of any kind ahhahaha. so elise drove morgan and i back home. i got online and stayed on way too late, but (thank god) i sent my alarm for 11am which is when i woke up. voiceless elise came and picked me up at 12 and we went to perkins for lunch. we got to sit in a big roomy booth even though there were only two of us because all the other seats were taken. i loved being able to be there with elise. i can tell her anything. she said that this week would have been a shitfest without me and robin there, and i'm not sure exactly what i did but i really tried to be there for her and let her rant at me whenever she needed. elise and i shared these cheese and chicken quesadilla things that were really good. i didn't think i'd like them but i diddddd and elise paid for them and i felt bad. then she drove me home and as soon as i got there, morgan fox called and talked to morgan my sister about getting the "get up" video to the co-op before 7:30. morgan and i worked on a logo, which would not have been hard but practically none of our tapes are labelled and we had to go through everything trying to find clips for stuff. watch the finished product here and cry because the best part is too dark. oh yeah, our production company is now here. so we took the video to them and we came back and eat dinner and hung out for a while. then we went to go see our video with nine other short films at the first congo theatre. this woman from youth-xpress talked to morgan and i and said she wanted us to write an article about our filmmaking. so we said we'd think about it and she gave us her CARD. it was amazing. morgan bought some organic jelly beans and mom bought some organic soda and they were both very good. some of the movies were very good and some were boring even though they were short. i loved brian siler's two and this one called "rock star" featuring the yeah yeah yeahs, who are my heroes. i can't really remember all of them. margaret, meg, and christie got to come for part of the time (long enough to see our movie) but had to leave, because of their curfew. elise brought robin and brock and i love all of them more than anything. sarah rushakoff came just in time to see ours; dad missed ours because he was at his boss's 60th birthday party down the street. mom nearly fell asleep because it was a "late night out" for her and morgan wore her costume from the video. i loved being there and i loved sitting next to my sister, in front of my parents, and when elise was pimpin with her arm around my shoulder and me nearly falling asleep on her because of this movie that was the shortened version of the last man on earth or whatever it's called. when it was over, elise and robin and brock praised the video and the new logo, and we talked to morgan and josh, who are two of my favorite people on the planet and make me want to live in memphis forever. elise and i got organic sodas, and morgan showed us the trailer for his and josh's next movie, blue citrus hearts. big parts of it were filmed at white station. we were all very upset that we didn't get to be in it, even though morgan my sister is going to be in one scene and apparently morgan fox told elise that we could be in the last scene, so that's cool. we came home eventually and i got online and stuff. here i am. ta-da! good night all. i hope that tomorrow is as wonderful as the rest of the weekend.
we are, at this moment, in the process of shooting our followup music video to "get up" which is "untouchable face" directed by elise masur. we're also shooting katherine dohan's "much finer" music video, and we're about to edit her detention short. hopefully we'll have some stills up soon, and you'll be able to see them on the projects page.

Saturday, November 09, 2002

testing the new Blogger updating system.

come see our "Get Up" music video tonight at 7:30pm at the First Congo Theatre in the First Congregational Church on 1000 Cooper. see a map.

Friday, November 08, 2002

i am so intensely happy

Tuesday, November 05, 2002


See what Rugrat you are.

See what Rugrat you are.

both of these popped up after i took the quiz so i think that i tied.
what a beautiful face

today was crazy and i was bipolar.
i am very very very excited about Do You Know Where Your Children Are? Productions. we have about 20 projects in the works. it's incredibly exciting. we're looking at different kinds of external harddrives (for imac g4 thingie) so if you have any recommendations or suggestions, please send them my way. we're working on getting a web site up (BRITTANY) so hopefully that will be coming at you shortly.
and then i was pissed off at other things all day long and i'm annoyed that no one seems to be able to tell me things. except elise and kevin, who i am in love with. it's crazy because it's just elise. and kevin. now and not EliseAndKevin entity, as of monday november 4. it's really sad. please send them your condolences, but don't really because they would probably get annoyed at me. katherine dohan already says i'm a gossip.
listen to the new tori amos album. it's bloody brill. and be sure to buy the special edition one with the dvd and stuff. the whole thing is a lot of fun. there's stickers and a charm and a map depicting the journey of the character that the album is based on.

Monday, November 04, 2002

whatever happened to my dear diary?

this weekend was great. today was euphoric, especially for like... 45 minutes there. starting about with when katherine and i started talking to zak, through curtian call, until the time that laylee and becca left theatreworks. god. brilliant. the rest of the day was really good too.

Saturday November 9 - 7:30pm @ First Congregational Church
series of short films featuring the "get up" video directed by morgan stewart, editted by alanna stewart
YAYYYYY COMEEEEE PLEEEASSESEEEE
SUPPORT THE MeDiA CO-OP AND DO YOU KNOW WHERE YOUR CHILDREN ARE? PRODUCTIONS!! BE THERE!


also be there at 4pm on november 23 to see the screening of the momo's curse that was filmed by the wonderful members of the media co-op. thanks, guys!!!!

Wednesday, October 30, 2002




Which Donnie Darko character are you? by Shay

haven't seen the movie but i'd like to

Sunday, October 27, 2002

things are getting strange

last night's show went really well, considering it was the first show and everything. there was one line that i pretty much blew (i only said the first statement in it. luckily harriet picked it up anyway.) the marx puppet went unexpectedly well! the members were very connected. today i bought belated birthday presents for margaret graves and katherine warren (shh!) at the internation artisans' market at prescott church, where i used to go every sunday. then i came home for a little while before dad and i finally went to put up posters for the play at pie in the sky and legba records. at legba, we looked around and i bought the white stripes self-titled album. then we went by black lodge video to see if they'd put up the poster we gave them a while ago, which they had. dad and i looked at movies and ended up renting our castmate morgan fox's movie, three minutes based upon the revolution of the sun. we haven't had a chance to watch it yet though. so it was discovered that brittany didn't really tell her parents about taking her to the play tonight, except that she wanted to go so they came home kinda late-ish and they didn't want to drive her. so she didn't get to come, which is pretty bad because morgan fox wanted his four cameramen to SEE the play this weekend and FILM the play next weekend. anyway morgan and i washed our costumes but we both forgot to put them in the dryer in time for them to be ready by 7, which is when we had to be at the theatre. so mom, who helped manage the house tonight, brought them for us. i had to walk around with my pockets inside out for a while to try and make them undamp. it didn't really work. the play tonight was really weird. the beginning, especially, was really dragging. but i was very proud that afterwards sarah told me i had been louder than zoë. *beam beam* so the show was weird, as stated. i felt the whole time i was on like i was dreaming or something. the show was supposedly sold out, mainly because of this mental health conference that's being held in memphis and they dropped off a bus load of people. but the responses were weird or something i guess. several people, and andy, came in a little late. andy sat in a seat really close to where i was lying at the time and waved. patty said that he was trying to talk to her while she was on stage and that he kept saying "ineffable! ineffable!" but after i noticed him come in and everything, it looked like he was going to sleep! he literally leaned his head back and rested it on the stage, and then he kind of nodded away. he started looking around again after a big loud noise. it was strange. when i exitted, i discovered that there were about five people just ... sitting in the lobby. just sitting, doing nothing. so they pay $10 for a play that they are going to sit during the lobby during? nice going, guys. and people kept coming in and out of the theatre... it was crazy. but afterwards some really nice people talked to us and asked for autographs and everything. after everyone left, brad, sarah, morgan, dad, and i sat around for a while in the lobby and then went to ihop for a very quick quasi-dinner, where i had some fries. we had a great time listening to elton john, backstreet boys, and earth, wind, & fire. we were some of the only people there at first and then this HUGE mass of people just kind of gathered. and we were of course being loud and crazy so we had to tone it down a little. pretty depressing. then we headed over to highland quartet or whatever it's called for the midnight showing of the rocky horror picture show! we were slightly late -- we missed the very beginning of the opening song (with the lips, you ignorant bastard.) there were only about 15 people there. morgan, sarah, and i sang all the songs and i think dad sang a few. brad had only seen it once before. i noticed a bunch of details on the big screen that i'd never seen before. it was strange and wonderful. sarah was the only one of us yelling at the movie and there was another guy a few rows back who was yelling too, but not the same words. no one dressed up or brought props or anything. it was pretty great. i'm sad that katherine, zoë, and laylee couldn't come. they missed a great time.

Saturday, October 26, 2002

jenny mccarthy



Your Inner Blonde is Jenny McCarthy




Sure you're hot, but the only guys you seem to attract are twelve year old nose pickers.


Maybe you'll make a comeback, but you've got to lay off the bodily functions.




Who's *Your* Inner Dumb Blonde? Click Here to Find Out!

More Great Quizzes from Quiz Diva

Friday, October 25, 2002

if i had only been born about ten years earlier and i lived either in new york or on the west coast... i could have seen/see all the best concerts. some of these combinations are MIND-BOGGLING. go here and weep for all the concerts you ever missed.
everybody vote for tori! the video is really weird and beautiful. i highly recommend it. it's great. also click here.

Thursday, October 24, 2002

everyone come see the play i am in tomorrow night! theatre at its best.... the intensity of the show is amazing! it's shocking! static! electric!

the momo's curse
by our own voice
at theatreworks
8pm on oct 24, 26, 27, nov 1 &2
3pm on nov 3

the play itself is about an hour and 45 minutes long. now i know you can spare that much of your life for one of the all-time weirdest plays you will ever see. read the article in the memphis flyer.

also i disagree with becca that "techies are the backbone of every theatrical production." firstly, what the fuck do they do! why are there so many of them?! secondly, our play has no backstage and HAS NO TECHIES. we have The Sound Guy and The Lights Guy and thats it. fuck tech.
(i think i want to be on tech at school next year)

Thursday, October 17, 2002

WELL I'M GOING TO FAIL EVERY SUBJECT THAT SCHOOL EVER CREATED.
I PROMISE.

Tuesday, October 15, 2002

i need a chick with a cowboy hat

this weekend was great, this week has been awful. friday, right after school, i rode the bus to the library with margaret to work on our (deadly) english project. we didn't get anything accomplished really. elise and evan were there working on theirs too. dad picked me up around 5 and we went straight to rehearsal, where we were working on scenes 8 and 9 or something like that. so at the break, after scene 8, i called up mom and she took me to kullision skate park which is actually the world's smallest warehouse in the white ghetto, about five minutes away from my house where i met up with brittany and heather hyden. the smile brigade was supposed to play their farewell show there, but were not allowed for some reason. we saw the holiday, instead, and justin from tsb who is very cool and is my new hero. katherine dohan showed up at some point and we all grooved. i think the three of us felt really out of place. well i know i did. we were the only people there, i swear, who didn't go to the same church and school. it was like the youth group in a bottle called the five feet that are the kullision skate park. basically everyone there was a cordova punker. you'd be surprised at how many there are, but that's what the suburbs will do to you. so katherine and brittany came over afterwards. katherine tried to teach brittany and me the bass line for "blister in the sun" on my teeny acoustic guitar which is missing a string. if it wasn't i would be jamming in there right now, i swear to god. (meg taught me to play 'america the beautiful.' i dont think i remember how but i can pretend.) katherine wanted to spend the night at my house (with brittany) but she called her parents and they didn't want her to. so she left around midnight. brittany, morgan, and i watched degrassi. it was bloody brill. this kid got abused by his father for the first time, somebody foudn out about it, and they got him away from his dad ALL IN ONE EPPIE. i'm really upset that i didn't watch this week because ashley did some ecstasy and made out with some guy who isnt jimmy. anyway we all went to bed after that. brittany had to get picked up at 10am for tai chi. i went ahead and got up then. i think i got online for a little while... ate something... watched tv. we had rehearsal from 2:30 - 5:30. afterwards, morgan went to see her friend sara stephens in the very hungry caterpillar at ewing children's theatre. then they came home and we all went to see spirited away which is a GREAT movie so GO SEE IT!! don't listen to leath bing for he is a creepy asian.

Friday, October 11, 2002

woo boy! postin early!

Thursday, October 10, 2002

Nabikichan086: i was pretending to put kevin in time out and mom said "you remember where it is" and then at the same exact time kevin and my dad said "sure, she spent half of her childhood there" THE EXACT SAME TIME!
lately when i listen to rock music with male singers they sound like they're trying to be black francis.... pixies much? sorry, jack white. you don't cut it.
so today in seventh period, some teacher in a classroom near the lab, some teacher yelled "HEY" and proceeded to yell some things. i seriously, literally, honestly believed that frank black was in the next room.

Wednesday, October 09, 2002

every day i make my way through the streets of your town

i was really pumped about writing a real post until i sat down. well i'm going to try my best for you guys, because i know i'm sick of looking through blogs with no new posts! (merv's place as the exeption.) i found these 60 cent cappuccino and cream candies that brittany sort of made me buy at big lots a few weeks ago. i'd eaten two that day and that was basically it. but i found them! and i'm addicted! they're really sweet but they leave this taste in my mouth that makes me want another one. plus i'm hungry. mmmmmmm. moving on.
i already talked a little about the weekend... friday night was great. i had rehearsal and then i got to hang out with awesome people. everyone went to abyssinia, which is an ethopian restaurant, and kevin came to pick me up from home (with william's car that kevin couldn't drive) while they were there because i told them i had to eat. and they decided to go to a restaurant like. a block away from my house. because william's stomach was eating itself. so i didn't really have anything except a bite of gross cloth bread. i had to run across poplar twice and it was horrifyingly hilarious. kevin and i nearly died ten times on the way from my house to abyssinia. after that we joggled around across the street, where the creepy cuban captain d's is. and there were these drums or something and we ran all over the world trying to find where they were coming from, with no success. then we drove around listening to modest mouse. we ended up at that christ methodist church place and we played on the playground for a while. kevin and william bribed lots of soda out of this party that was ending at the church. most of it got poured on the wood chips i think. the swings were pretty great. a lot of that newfangled equipment was discovered to be incredibly dangerous! and all the swingie bar things make your hands hurt and smell. alice and i invented the word "muffin" that you have to say like robin goodwin as a kind of abbreviation for "motherfucker" but used in completely different context. then we drove around and it was some modest mouse live song and they said something about thanks to the pixies and i was all like 'THE PIXIES' and they changed the song for me. they played "debaser" for me. it was great. kevin sang it with me. i think elise was trying to get william to watch me sing in his rearview mirror. at that point we had ended up at bookstar so that william could buy smoke and mirrors by neil gaiman. i like that place but we couldnt find the mammoth book of erotica this time.
on saturday.... i went to rehearsal. that was it. oh yeah i went with morgan and mom to buy a present for morgan to take to her friend mariana's birthday, but it also ended up being a shopping trip for mom and dad's anniversary, which was sunday (october 6). morgan bought mariana a card with an old lady on it, being levitated off the ground by all the balloons she was holding. it said "get carried away on your birthday!" and mom got a card for dad that had a cow kissing another cow that said "i love you for heifer." i didn't get anything because i don't have any money. then we went to cat's music. morgan bought the nelly furtado cd for mariana. i had to help mom find the new david bowie cd, heathen, for dad. the two-disc one. with the great pixies cover of "cactus!" i didn't get anything because i DON'T HAVE ANY MONEY. it was so distressing. i tried to make morgan buy the new tegan and sara but she wouldn't. i tried to make mom buy the new bree sharp but she wouldn't. it was depressing. we blew that popsicle stand.
sunday was mom and dad's anniversary so mom woke me up around 9 or something to ask me where dad's card and gift were. i, obviously, couldn't go back to sleep so i got up. nothing really happened until 3:30. which was rehearsal. we worked on scenes 6-8. since i haven't talked about the other rehearsals i'll sum this one up: in scene 6 i'm a really bad villager because i'm not animated enough. in scene 7 i'm a really bad surrealist because i'm not loud enough and i can't say my lines right and i can't play the game very well. in scene 8 i get to play ring-around-the-rosies while the world falls apart. i've decided not to reveal anything about this scene because it needs to be surprising. i'm just like "it's creepy. we play ring-around-the-rosies and it's HORRIFYING!" actually katherine and i were talking about it when her mom drove me to davis-kidd after school today and she was like "i think i'm going to have to leave before scene 8. or maybe i just won't come at all." which is sad. i think she should come and see katherine. katherine was trying to reassure her by telling her that she's not actually IN scene 8. oh oh oh! everyone come to the momo's ball because we really need money!!! the production costs A LOT and bill has already had to cut out some of the things he wanted to do for lack of funds. moving on... right after rehearsal, dad took me to bookstar to meet laylee. she was a little late but it wasn't her fault so thats ok. dad bought a drink at the starbucks there for me and he gave me money to buy something to eat. laylee and i got cold in the cafe so we walked around the bookstore. then this guy julian who went to her school last year came up and we talked to him for a good long time and it turned out she hates him anyway. so that was an eternal waste of time. i didn't know that she hated him, or else we would have been there for a total of two seconds. so laylee finally got us out of there by saying we wanted to go eat at taco bell. she got a cheese quesadilla and i got a chicken quesadilla. laylee didn't finish hers because it was making her sick or something. i finished eating mine while we walked to turlte's music, and we got to talk a bit. outside, she got like. her fourth and fifth phone calls of the evening, on her cell phone. leath wanted to come pick her up at that very second because she was supposed to meet them at borders at 8:30 or something which basically adds up to that she'd allotted less than an hour and a half to our hangoutage time and i'd thought she had to babysit or something. her lovely mother drove me home, where morgan was watching our "get up" video again. my parents were at their anniversary dinner at cafe society. i stayed up way too late online talking to jerel.
on monday, we had the day off. as if you didn't know. i was supposed to meet margaret at the library at 2 to work on this (wretched) english project. the day before, i had realized i wouldn't be able to meet then because i would have no ride, since my parents would be at work. by the time i thought about it on sunday, i felt like it was too late to call. so i called first thing in the morning on monday and left a message. and called like 720385 times and emailed her but we never got in touch. she called here around 2:20 and i felt really really awful. she said she found a few books though. morgan and i watched "seven brides for seven brothers" and it was glorious. we did homework and it sucked.
on tuesday, ms. haughton asked me why i was still out of uniform! i was like "I TOLD YOU." so she wrote me up. when i took the thing to the office, it was fifth period and no one was there so the (EVIL EVIL EVIL) secretary told me she would call me down in sixth period. she didn't. so today i was called to the office during 3rd period (english) and i was there through like. half of 4th. and they didnt even get a chance to talk to me because they're too slow and stupid and evil. so they called me back during 6th period etymology and finally talked me and basically said i had to wear the uniform until my appeal went through. i hate ms. haughton so much right now. not only for that but because of this test we took. i actually did pretty well on it but the things i missed were because of her shit ass directions!!! we had to memorize all this vocabulary, right? the word and its genitive and the meaning. (among other irrelevant things.) so most of the words, you had to memorize the genitive SINGULAR but there were two that you had to memorize the genitive PLURAL for some reason. so on the directions she said to write the genitive singular (she underlined that.) so when i wrote iussa, i put that the genitive singular was iussi, not iussorum. and that it meant 'a command' instead of 'commands' because the woman is retarded!! and i was too scared to ask her about it today because i thought she would see my non-uniform. go figure because i was actually wearing my black moondance skirt and a grey shirt! quite a few people asked me if i was caving in on the uniform thing. i didn't really mean to be dressed like that. but i don't want to wear that skirt to school again. that skirt was not made for me. or maybe i'm just not compatible with skirts. i can't sit in my desk in the ways that i like to sit wearing a skirt. well not comfortably anyway. or without feeling like i'm going to wipe my shoes all over the thing, which wouldn't have been a good idea, as it rained all today. and like. as soon as i stepped out of the door this morning, the skirt went looser than i'd tied it and it kind of fell down on my hips and dragged the ground all day. i hate going on stairs in that thing. especially when theyre all wet and slippery from the rain. as i said previously, katherine dohan's lovely mother drove me to davis-kidd after school where i finished reading what my mother doesn't know by sonya sones. i hadn't meant to finish it, but it happened. it wasn't nearly as good as stop pretending but i forgive it because it was written in beautiful beautiful poetry form. so stuff that i normally would be bored to death reading about is made interesting anyway. i started reading this book called stoner & spaz and i had just picked up the giver when my mom came. she bought some halloween books and things for her library at school.
POTATOES ARE RADICAL!

Monday, October 07, 2002





I'm Penny, which ambiguous dyke are you? Quiz by Turi.


hopefully you noticed my idol to the left over there is the lovely frank black lead singer/songwriter for the pixies. who are very dead of course but. he's still wonderful. and if you noticed the blog name change, well yay! it's from a pixies song called "letter TO memphis" but that didn't make sense obviously. but it's a great song! read the lyrics! download it too because the chorus is beautiful!!
xEienNoYamix: Let's put it this way.
xEienNoYamix: I hate peoples brains.

and basically, that was my weekend.

except for friday night, which was great. i got to hang out with kevin and elise and william and alice. theyre all great. the rest of the weekend was pretty blegh. even though i did get to see laylee for a whole ten seconds.

Tuesday, October 01, 2002

i know what god wants

today was ok for the most part. ms. haughton, my latin teacher, noticed for the first time that i wasn't in uniform. she took me into the hall and asked me about things and she told me to rethink my decision to appeal and all this. it was ridiculous. if i was braver i would have said something more intelligent/intelligible. in other uniform news, i am SO SICK of hearing people (guys especially) tell me how it doesn't matter and that you can do more damage from 'the inside' anyway. i can't even go into the ridiculousness of that.
oh yeah, by the way, zak baker joined hardcore club after morgan and brittany and i told him how we hated it and how awful it was. and he won't tell us what he did to get into it. probably because he doesn't want us to tell his parents or something, is what i guess. and he asked again today about the hunter thompson video. i was like 'it sucks' and he was like 'i dont care!' but then we had to start rehearsing. in rehearsal news, he's beautiful. in performance news, i play something/someone different in every scene, but that's really typical. it's not relaly like you're suppposed to keep up with who we are. in the scene that we just started to work on today and we're going to do some more with tommorow, i am the famous surrealist poet robert desnos. i think that i am one of the characters, with (two) lines because i was so bad at the little game we did at one of the auditions that the chorus is going to be doing while the surrealists do the surreal thing. or maybe bill thinks i'm a poet haha? i'm nervous about having actual lines to memorize. also, bill said that we would be getting a sense of what part of artaud we were playing by what we had to do in different scenes and i am just completely lost, i swear to god. in the first scene in which we resurrect artaud, i have two lines about flesh and bone and all this. and, later, a line about "so the stillness of the night silences all obscenities." also i am one of lot's daughters (from the bible), in this painting and that is really horrifying. it's also my last scene. i'm going to shut up about the play now. i remember, rereading some things i said about synesthesia, how much i went on and on about nothing.
yesterday a girl named feagin in my seventh period class came up and asked me about why i wasn't wearing the uniform and we talked through.. the whole class. (people were finishing their projects that they were supposed to have finished on friday.) she's a freshman and she asked for my screen name. today we chatted a bit and i found out that she has pretty awesome taste in music (bright eyes, elliott smith, ani difranco, aimee mann, tool, a whole lot of shit i can't remember) and she made a chat with me and a few of her friends who go to white station, one of whom was the girl that used to be in my math class, that i talked to for a milisecond at davis-kidd and who has waved to me in the hall a few times (sam[antha]) point being that that was very cool and coincidental. in other news on the social frontier, i am feeling like a total retard at this moment. i swear, i feel like i should stop talking to people altogether. yes, i love sharing my music and taste with the world but, of course, i am never recognized for it and everyone else on the planet just is. because i know how to pick my friends. it's like becca's friend who was in the homecoming court that likes bikini kill becuase becca introduced it to her because laylee introduced it to HER because i introduced it to laylee. ditto with rasputina and margaret earthman the cheerleader. and today becca herself (as you can read on her blog, if you know where it is. i don't think i'm supposed to link though) was just randomly talked to by three completely awesome people just sitting at starbucks because she radiates coolness. that and she had a sleater-kinney sticker on her backpack. and they talked about bikini kill, rasputina, and bonfire madigan. katherine dohan is on the morning announcement staff and they played L'Trimm's "cars that go boom" for the song of the day when i discovered that several of katherine's friends had heard the song through her and. there's the usual, of course. i don't know i'm all jealous i guess. that and i know that when they get "famous" or at least they all turn out as really great musicians that i will be sitting around in some shit job and envying the hell out of them because i dropped oboe and never picked up guitar/bass/drums/piano/triangle/cowbell.

Thursday, September 26, 2002

pretty rain makes you smile

"September 24, 2002

Dear Mrs. Jacobs:

After careful review and consideration of your reasons for requesting an exemption from the School Uniform Policy #5150.1 for your child, a decision has been made regarding your request. The policy requires that the person requesting the exemption show he/she wants an exemption due to religious or a strongly-held belief, described as "a philosophy or set of moral principles that guides a person's decision about his/her life or lifestyle." The explanations provided in your written statements submitted on August 12, 14 and September 23, 2002, and expressed in our conversation of September 23, 2002, do not meet the requirements for exemption. Your allowing your children to wear uniforms for one venue but not for another demonstrates inconsistency and, therefore, does not qualify as a strongly held belief. Consequently, I am denying your request for exemption from this policy. If you wish to pursue your request further, you should contact the Mmphis City Schools office of the Board of Commissioners for a final ruling of your appeal (325-5447).
If I can be of further assistance to you, feel free to contact me. We thank you for your continued support and look forward to your children having a successful year.

Sincerely,
Dr. Richard Potts, Director
Zone 2 Schools"

so they denied me because mom put that i'd warn a uniform in the past on the little exemption form thing. i am incredibly upset with both of them. i don't think that wearing the goddam band uniform for one fucking day constitutes checking "yes" for "has your children worn any uniform in the past?" or whatever the damn question was. actually mom thinks that they denied it because morgan is wearing the uniform (after being bullied into it) and i'm the one requesting the exemption. either way it's ridiculous and i'm pissed off.
sticky rain steals my smile.

Monday, September 23, 2002

what matters is your uniform

well blogger just deleted my post and i'm really annoyed. it's taken me a while to come back and redo it but. at the time, mom had just come home (and gone back to work) with news of the "meeting." it turned out that she hadn't even had time to come by the house and get me. i'm really glad we didn't go film it. the anti-meeting consisted of mom giving the guy a (new) note, him reading it, and saying that they'd get back to us. mom did not seem very hopeful about it. she thinks she focused on all the wrong things. i'm going to post her note and you can tell me what you think:

"My concerns are:

1. The authoritarian atmosphere created by the school uniforms policy. Perhaps students are better behaved; they are also less exuberant.
2. The "us" versus "them" attitude promoted by the wearing of uniforms.
3. The increasingly "conformist" attitude towards thinking in classes. The school uniform policy is, contrary to what the school administrators say, fostering an attitude of "we should all think alike." This is especially troubling to me since Memphis, in contrast to other places I have lived, is a city that does not tolerate diversity of opinion well. The schools should be fostering individual thinking, not succumbing to peer pressure.

I have supported my daughter's decision to pursue exemption from the school uniform policy precisely because I believe that at fifteen, she should be learning how to think independently. I have encouraged her to make her own decisions, and not to follow the crowd. If I backed out now, what would I be teaching her? I believe that the process she is experiencing right now is an invaluable lesson about how the world works, regardless of what the outcome is. I am only sorry to see what she seems to be learning is that people in power aren't always thinking people, and that people in power sometimes use that power to bully others. A few teachers and administrators have seen the school uniform policy as an opportunity to throw their weight around.

While this policy may work in the short term, studies show it will not have any great long-term effects. We seem to be focused on the short term that we are risking the life lessons our children should be learning. Learning to make appropriate decisions about clothing would be better than instituting a narrow uniform policy.

4. The Memphis City School Board did not follow recommended procedures for implmenting the policy. There was no discussion with parent and teacher groups before this policy was established. The arbitrary notion that a school uniform policy would improve our scools is fallacious. School uniforms should be part of an in-depth adjustment of school environments.

Thank you for allowing my voice, and my daughter's voice, to be heard.

Leslie Jacobs and Alanna Stewart."

you wiped the floor with victory

i wish. i am upset because mom is supposed to be here. well i'm sure that what happened is that when she came by here, dad had not brought me home yet, so she left without me, to go to our Board meeting about my uniform exemption. the case will not be NEARLY as hopeful without me there, or without a statement written by me there. i was going to do that but i decided it would be better if i was there. and obviously i am not, since it is almost 3:30 and i'm at home. this is quite distressing. i feel useless.

Tuesday, September 17, 2002

she's got the hottest trike in town

and you know she does. today was superstar day and i was kathleen hanna. i could have done a really good job, like if i decided to be her for halloween or something. i could get some temporary hair dye and some makeup and. i would write 'slut' really big on my stomach, instead of tiny. which is what i did today. just that and i wore my bikini kill shirt. lol nobody even asked who i was, and becca was the only person who i showed my slutiness to, but i don't think anyone else would have gotten it anyway.

Monday, September 16, 2002

been rubbing a bad charm with holy fingers

so weekend. on friday, brittany and i had wanted to do something but she stayed home for waiting Button Boy to get online or call her or something along the lines of communication, which he did not. by the time i think she may have wanted to do something, i had made plans to go out with elise, robin, and brock. however, they never came to pick me (or brock) up. apparently elise and robin went on a walk and lost track of time or something. i went to bed fairly early.
on saturday, the first thing i did in the morning was listen to our lovely Launch radio station so i suggest that you should to. it's pretty good. i can't exactly perfect it because i'm trying to only rate songs that we've done previously for music log. at some point, margaret graves called and asked if i was going to the cooper-young festival. no, i had not left yet at 1pm because brittany couldn't get a ride and i couldn't get in touch with laylee. margaret and i met at java cabana and watched part of Mutant Space Bats of Doom's show or whatever theyre called. i think that's about right. the band is bennett foster, zak baker, linton holiday, and hunter deacon. ask me about getting some stills, since i filmed a bit of it. (a very little bit.) but still. i found laylee, becca, katherine, and meg but i didnt really keep up with them. when i first saw laylee she hugged me HUGE and philip jacobson stared. it made me very happy. we were everywhere. margaret and i were trying to get some hardcore club footage. katherine was JUST ABOUT to go over and interview them (with my lovely questions) but they fucking left. it was terrible. of course, laylee and becca went with them so there went the party. we should have stalked them, i'm so serious. so we got a few random people to say "i hate the hardcore club" and that was great enough in itself. margaret and i sat in java cabana for a while and just talked and that was really nice. that makes me want to hang out with her (and meg and katherine warren and christie and heather) more often. at some point we walked to felix to meet my mom, who took us to auditions for the upcoming play, the momo's curse (by our own voice) at theatreworks. margaret said she really enjoyed the auditions (which are not real auditions) but that she thought she'd done a terrible job dancing. i can't say if it's true or not because i didn't see her (ehoaoeieowooiwi i'm terrible). her dad picked her up, and my mom dropped morgan and i back off at cooper-young festival for an hour because i wanted to see if anyone i knew was still there, which they were not. except for zak, who morgan talked to. it might have been more interesting if i had remembered to bring the camera that time but i had not. and then maybe if we'd had anything to eat besides cokes (in bottles!) but we did not. mom picked us up on tanglewood (we'd been sitting there watching this great dog jump practically over his fence) and we ate backyard burger. mom said that elise had called, wanting to know if i could come with them to cooper-young and mom said they were probably already there but i hadnt seen them obviously. when we got home, i called kevin's cell (amusing that they'd be together. jesus i really do treat them like they're married.) and he was just pulling up at elise's house, so i talked to her and she invited morgan and i to come watch the royal tennenbaums with her, brock, and kevin at his house. i accepted of course and it was gala event. for those of you who care, elise's hair is now Super Blond. after the movie (which i loved for the third time) kevin drove us home because he's the sweetest thing. i stayed up too late just sitting around online.
sunday when i woke up, we went to the second auditions for momo's curse. katherine was there and that was happy. afterwards i sat around online a good bit and then did my homework. the end.
today... well this week at school is spirit week so today was Wear What You Want Day. i was going to wear the uniform because it would have been ghastly funny but i don't have one. so i just wore jeans (surprise, surprise) and my bob & doug mckenzie shirt because they are my idols. margaret gave me back my comet gain cd. meg has my sleater-kinney one beat, becca still has doolittle by the pixies (which i desperately miss), and elise STILL has dig me out by sleater-kinney. margaret was reenacting her massive fall from this morning, at lunch today, with my backpack. and when she slung it over her head and made it fly she brutally crushed my comet gain cd case but thats ok becuase i'm sure there's an extra one somewhere. also at lunch, ted link came and sat down at our table but he only talked to sam (jazz band drummer guy that i think katherine warren likes) so that was really crazy. actually hardcore was brought up somehow and he said that he'd STARTED IT! meg asked if we could make a documentary about it but i dont think he heard and that completely sucks.

Sunday, September 15, 2002

did you know that rachel haden (bassist of That Dog) sings backup on jimmy eat world? i love that shit.
in other news, i am head over heels in love.

Friday, September 13, 2002

you make me wanna dance

i had a lot of stuff planned out to say about my week. it's been really weird. but i'm not really in the mood. i just kinda wanted to post on friday the 13th. i can try though. uh.
monday was mediocore.
tuesday was reallly really bad. i felt terrible and everything that happened was awful.
wednesday was pretty shitty school-wise, but ... interesting to say the least, people-wise.
thursday was great at school, believe it or not, but after i got home it was downhill from there. i got less than two hours of sleep, therefore
friday was good. i was wired all day.
i went to davis-kidd after school on tuesday and this girl who i used to have second period with (her schedule changed like.. the day before) said hi but i couldnt think of anything interesting or conversational to say until after she left, though she did wave in the hall after sixth period on wednesday. and right after that, christie and katherine warren said hi. it was amazing. three people in three minutes! wow! i felt so popular. and believe me i was, OH I WAS. i talked to ted link a couple times and heard people talk bad about him a couple times and i have no idea what to make of the guy seriously. it's incredibly confusing. ted, if you're out there (wahahha) talk to me more so i can get a goddam grasp on your tedness. he said one thing to my face that annoyed me. i was standing with him, becca, and laylee and being my usual stupid-ass self and he said something like how i was so different from last year and i said i'd always been this way. he said, "but you just didn't have a chance to show it till now?" or something like that and i couldnt explain really. i still don't "show" it, it just depends who i'm around. i also heard some pretty ungood stuff about him and i heard that he did some pretty creepy stuff (even stuff including me, believe it or not)
on a much more interesting note, i uploaded brittany, morgan, and my music video so watch it now!!!!!

Tuesday, September 10, 2002

GOD

Wednesday, September 04, 2002

and when you're near, no sky was ever quite as clear

i stayed home from school today. my throat is murderous. morgan, brittany, and i spent the weekend shooting and editting footage for the "get up" (song by sleater-kinney) video that morgan is directing. i would upload five seconds of it for you, i really would, but there is no server right now. so instead. you can download the song here and imagine all the great things we are doing with it.
in other news, i'm probably going to have to wear the uniform. i am very pissed off but i am glad that i at least tried.
in other other news, i just listened to the plumb cd and i like it even less than i did when i first got it.
if anyone knows where to get nice, free blog layouts/skins/templates/whatevers... please direct me. thank you.

Wednesday, August 28, 2002

satan sucks, but you're the best

well it sure has been a while. i don't really know what to say though. last week was pretty average. i got a note every single day (and this week too, so far) for not wearing the uniform. i am literally going to start a collection, put them on the wall in frames or something. last weekend was the first annual memphis digital film festival, which, as you should know, katherine submitted our short movie "romeo and juliet revisited" to. it was received fairly well, i thought. better than i had expected, what with it being shown to the indie artsy underground crowd. in fact, it was reshown on sunday as a Notable Film so that was very exciting. katherine had been giving out flyers at school for two weeks, but only melissa tuttle, alice buchanan, and elise(!) came, besides the cast (katherine, brittany, morgan, and i) and laylee. plus my parents and katherine's dad. and katherine's friend leah and her folks. but that's beside the point. real life quotes from living, breathing indie artsy types:
"...one of the biggest accomplishments of the festival." - morgan fox
"you guys kicked everybody's ass." - khyber daniel

and i can't really remember anything else but a lot of people came up and said how entertaining it was or something, and how cool or whatever. so brittany came over to my house on friday night to discover a banner that said "HAPPY DAY DAY" in purple. it was supposed to say just "happy day" because it was supposed to be a belated birthday banner. and we also had a cake for her and morgan gave her a cd by the peechees as a present (my parent's later gave her a film festival shirt). kevin and elise and robin were there and we all went to sonic and stayed there for a while and freaked some people out by being loud when kevin's window and little moon roof or whatever it's called were open. and they had my dig me out sleater-kinney cd in the car so that was awesome. laylee was supposed to join us but she had a family dinner and by the time she called and stuff she said she could get dropped off wherever we were, but she couldnt get a ride home and since the car was full, the plans didnt work out. it was quite sad. we went to black lodge and walked around cooper-young, as usual. brittany spent the night at my house. we watched rat race. the next day was the film festival, which i've already discussed in part. aside from our movie, we saw several other shorts (some of them were ok) linley's husband's movie, normal to oily which was ok, and one of the worst movies i have ever seen, called voices from the high school which was the most excruciating 72 minutes i have ever spent outside of school. it was an elongated version of one of this shitty movies they play in health class to talk about teen problems and suicide and sex and drugs and abuse. it was wretched. we literally ran out after that but we should have probably stayed for the next one, or at least to hear the man talk about the movie and let him ask us if we liked it and be able to say "TERRIBLE, EVIL MAN. DON'T QUIT YOUR DAY JOB." and anyway the next movie had something to do with this band called lucero that i know meg likes. (they're local.) we all came home and i gave laylee her birthday present (in part. i didn't have a chance to burn any cds for her yet and i still feel terrible that i couldn't find any cds she wanted.) we ate pizza and watched this punk music documentary. there was a segment about how much reggae influenced punk, but they went on and on about reggae itself and it lasted way too long. i felt kind of cheated. but there was some really great patti smith stuff and sex pistols footage. and i liked hearing the ramones talk and listening to their outrageous accents. we went to this "party" at the hi-tone, which you got into free if you had a pass for the film festival. it was not a party at all. just some free food on a table, really loud boring music, and ... pool. so we left after what felt like 10 seconds but dad's car clock said 45 minutes. it was creepy. then laylee and brittany and i were joking about how we should make a video about the White Station Hardcore Club and we "moshed" with ourselves and brittany damaged my tooth. back at home, laylee's mom came and took her away and brittany and i stayed up for like three or four hours longer than we meant to, talking. morgan's friend sara also spent the night. on sunday brittany slept incredibly late and practically right after she woke up, katherine called us and told us about our movie getting replayed. so we all went to that "did a Q&A" afterwards. the family left but katherine, brittany, and i stayed to watch the rest of the movies. this week has been boring. the end.

Thursday, August 22, 2002

ted link likes my bikini kill shirt.

Sunday, August 18, 2002

she didn't leave until the last flame died

yesterday mom and i went to maggie's pharm. then dad and i went to legba records and last chance records. i am in love with all three of those places. i am in love with midtown. forever. maggie's pharm has candles and incense and smelly stuff and earrings and greeting cards and all these things. legba records is pretty small, it didn't take long to go through all their cds. they have a bigger vinyl selection. apparently, the guy who runs the store (who IS the staff) was acknowledged by the white stripes before a concert they did. wow. he saw me eyeing this signed promotional sleater-kinney poster on the wall and told me that he'd gotten the new album in just that day. and he sold it to me early!! it doesn't come out until tuesday! i also got the first sleater-kinney album, which i had never seen until yesterday and it was really cheap too, for a new cd. the nice man also gave me a FREE. SIGNED. SLEATER-KINNEY POSTER, which i am going to get framed, i swear to god. i also picked up a couple other free posters. (mary timony, yeah yeah yeahs, mecca normal, and something for laylee.) then we went to last chance records which was just this little room literally CRAMMED with stuff. much more unorganized than legba. they had a huge vinyl section too, but many more cds. they also had a bunch of different sections, including a seperate 'punk' section. the first thing that caught my eye was the brand new bonfire madigan 88 ep which you can only get online. so i had to buy it of course but it was too expensive, for just five songs. then i started looking for a cd for laylee's birthday (because turtle's had sold what i wanted to get her.) during that, i accidentally found back to go by the third sex and the need's first album. i have literally never seen those and i just had to get them. of course, now i am eternally in debt to my father because i also got one more gift cd. if you are laylee you should probably not read this, but i couldn't find ANYTHING that you want. i am hoping that you have gotten them already or at least some money to buy those cds with. i'm sorry. i could have gone to another store to get one of those but 1. i had already spent all my money and more 2. i already had a gift. and i'm going to burn you all these things that i got. the woman behind the counter at last chance was awesome. she told me that she has both of the need's albums, and that she listens to the other one more. she told me that she was going to order that one too so that i could come buy it. or somebody could. she also said she'd order team dresch but i told her i had both those albums, so i don't know if she's still planning to do that. when i got home i called brittany but her mom said that she was in town (meaning memphis) with her dad at some karate thing. that made me mad because if she'd called before she left, we could have done something and she could have spent the night. she got back home like five minutes later and called me back. her parents didnt want to drive her back in, and my parents didnt either. so i don't get to give her the rest of her present (i already gave her signed books over the summer) and i don't get to see laylee at all. anyway later last night i went to kevin's house (morgan actually came too). him, his friend eddie, elise, lauren, morgan, and i watched monty python and the holy grail and pulp fiction. it was an ... interesting double feature. i'd seen pulp fiction once and monty python about a million billion times. it was nice getting to see kevin, elise, and lauren again and eating all of kevin's chex mix. today i listened to a cd by the dead milkmen that heather hyden loaned me and i really like it. it's their Best Of cd, but it's incredibly short! (less than a half hour.) and that is remotely annoying no matter how much i like it.

Saturday, August 17, 2002

maybe it's a trick of the light
last night kevin, elise, robin, and lauren picked me up around 7 and we met elise's friend hank on the corner of cooper and young. we walked to black lodge and stayed there until 10. unless i misunderstood what hank said, he is a dirty liar and i hate him. (i THINK he told me that he was in the play ephemera. my sister and dad were. he was not.) it was mostly good times. a few times i kind of just sat there and stared blankly at the walls. they were showing this AWFUL video called "backyard fight clubs" were rednecks beat each other up. it sucked, but hank kept making stupid comments about how amateur people were or whatever. how fake it was. kevin is very nice, which i obviously knew already but he sat with me for part of the time. he wrote "MAB!" and my name in japanese on my arms, sang in japanese, and created my theme song, which we decided should play on a tape recorder in my pocket every time i walk into a room. elise, robin, and lauren got to talk to joe a good deal, while he sat with them on the couch. meanwhile, kevin and hank talked to this guy trying to sell his ticket to burning man and i just sat there and listened. as usual. we met a regular named eric who does the best ozzy osbourne impression i have ever heard.

Friday, August 16, 2002

the ship is sinking

one of the things about uniforms that's good and bad at the same time is that i feel like people are proving themselves. now i can see who is REALLY who. so i guess uniforms kind of are an equalizer.
my discovery:
everyone is either a shithead or theyre scared.
one thing that is really depressing, for me, is that all these people who are supposed to be the "punks" and all this are wearing the uniform. now i know punk and i know that punks would not stand for that. so all these people that i knew were punk poseurs and people that i thought might be cool and some punk kinda people that still might be cool are not even who i thought they were. as a punk poseur, i thought that hunter thompson would absolutely refuse to wear the uniform and go around with his hair dyed purple or something, but it's the same gross bleach blond. and then people like ted link that i KNOW have GOT to be remotely awesome are wearing the fucking uniform, even if they are wearing ties along with it. everybody that i thought was against conforming and all this. jesus. it just kills me. how can they live with themselves?! going around listening to rancid and the dead kennedys and operation ivy and the bouncing souls and all this and not even being able to rebel against a uniform. well if the uniform thing ever does pass over, i sure don't want to see another "rebel" shirt ever again.

happy birthday, laylee. this post was not meant to offend you of all people, damn it.

Thursday, August 15, 2002

rain falls on everyone

i just realized that i haven't even talked about school yet. so uh. let's see. monday was the first day - a half day. it was sick. everyone, as in EVERYONE that i laid my eyes on, was wearing uniforms. if you don't know, uniforms consist of white, grey, or dark green collared, button-down, tucked-in polo shirts and black, khaki, or navy "slacks" with belts for guys. for more details go here. and also, if you don't know, my friends and i have been complaining and protesting uniforms since they day the board voted. and for your information, i am the only person i know who is not wearing them. yes. i guess i have turned into a rebel. the first day, i wore jeans and my sleater-kinney shirt. a girl standing with madison young told me that she liked my shirt, but i don't know if she actually likes s-k or if she just liked the fact that i wasn't wearing the uniform. no random people have said anything about it except for a guy who just read my shirt out loud as i passed by on the second day ("the dishes.") and i have no idea what that statement was supposed to do. some people that i talk to ask him why i'm not wearing it ("why should i?! i don't want to") or how i'm not wearing it ("i just didn't wear it.") or if i've got exempt ("uhh... not yet.") and i think the main reason none of my teachers have said anything yet is because it isn't going to be enforced until september 3, according to the newspaper and the board. actually, my homeroom teacher mr. starron, on the first day, said to me while giving me my schedule, "you know that's not uniform." and i told him that i knew. then during his lovely Beginning Of The Year speech, he said (OBVIOUSLY directed at me) that he would not tolerate students not wearing the uniform and that he wouldn't let us in class if we weren't wearing it. so when i was leaving class, he stopped me and said "make sure you wear the uniform tomorrow." and i told him that i didn't believe in it. i'm very proud of myself for that. i think the thing with me not wearing the uniform makes me somewhat braver because i'm openly me ALL the time and people can see it. and i can't get away with being shy or anything because i'm sticking out like a sore thumb. and it's what they expect of me now, too. like they used to expect me to be so quiet and good and whatever and now i'm like. a juvenile delinquent. aside from s-k and the dishes, i've worn my ani difranco shirt and this black polo i bought to be ironic, but i don't think anyone got it. they just thought i forgot that we couldnt wear black or something. katherine asked me if i was caving in. so much for sarcasm. my geography teacher finally realized today that i wasn't wearing the uniform and i thought it was funny because today i was wearing the most blendie shirt.
browning: are we not wearing the uniform today?
me: no
browning: are we ever going to wear it?
me: no
browning: why not?
me: i don't believe in it and my parents don't believe in it.
and i couldn't tell if she was getting at something or if she hates me now or anything because she was just smiling away the whole time.
it's very nice because i can actually look forward to seeing some people at school. i have faces to look for in the halls and people to sit with at lunch. people that i actually LIKE and i'm really looking forward to getting to know them really well. another thing too is that a lot of these people seem very music-oriented so i can't wait to slap them with my tastes and borrow some CDs. in fact, last night i burned both albums by the pixies for both meg and brock. i have no idea how they will handle it, but brock said he likes to listen to things he's never heard of and i know that meg has heard bands she likes mention the pixies because everyone loves them. including me. don't know about you, but i am un chien andalusia.

Homeroom - Starron - 25 - with crappy people and a mean teacher
Unified Geometry Honors - Underwood - 224 - with nobody that i really know. becca foerhing
Pre-AP English - Douglas - 034 - katherine dohan, margaret graves
Geography Honors - Browning - 35 - nobody really. amanda trenshaw
Latin II Honors - Haughton - 11 - meg kerr, nina verevkina, ima paydar, melissa tuttle, dan ying liu, jenny luo, frankie blalock, hunter thompson
Etymology - Blankinship - 14 - meg, melissa, frankie
Biology Honors - Tate - 226 - heather hyden
tightrope and so on the wanting edge
"There is no justice in a world where the Strokes are so highly feted, yet the Gossip are virtually unheard of." i just got that from somebody's grrrl punk listmania list on amazon. i've decided to start saying that constantly, replacing band names where appropiate. but the part about the strokes is what's so great so i probably won't have to change that bit. anyway thats going to be my new response to "WHO?"

Wednesday, August 14, 2002

school kills.

Nabikichan086: if i were a childrens book author, i would be high
Nabikichan086: allll the time

Nabikichan086: "lana's funny" (kevin) "she reminds me of a little elf" (me) "a little elf! that's a wonderful thing to say about lana!" (kevin)

Tuesday, August 13, 2002

aLittleStarlight: how was school today
aLittleStarlight: did you see morgan
PINKDIMND: a little
PINKDIMND: once going from like 5th to 6th or somethign
aLittleStarlight: did she say anything about band
PINKDIMND: no
PINKDIMND: she didnt talk much
PINKDIMND: just said SARA!
PINKDIMND: and then the mob washed her away
aLittleStarlight: nooooooo
aLittleStarlight: WOOSH went morgan
aLittleStarlight: there she blows
aLittleStarlight: and she never came home again
PINKDIMND: horribel aint it?
I am trying to imagine them as they were
It is a hard thing to resee 2,000 people
It is a hard thing to explain colors to black & white
Even the ones I respected
have turned out to be lemmings
I knew I was alone
but not this alone
Everyone claimed to be upset
But there they are
In khaki
I am shivering in my blue
The cold makes my veins more distinct
Will they punish me for that too?
Will they arrest my goosebumps?
The longer I am here
The more I want to
Scream
The windows are the only things smiling
I am no different from you
Stand up

Sunday, August 11, 2002

school starts tomorrow. can you guess how excited i am? hooray. go spartans.
it seems i will be the only one un-uniformed.

Saturday, August 10, 2002

sappho is my god.

Thursday, August 08, 2002

newrob0t: billy bought every pete and pete episode off of ebay
newrob0t: for 60 dollars exactly
To: koolsilver@yahoo.com
From: blackout@darkalabama.com
Subject: Re: blackout

Sorry... No go. If it were my club, it wouldn't be a problem, but the owners of Vinyl are a bunch of tight wads.

Sorry. :/

- Jon
DJ naught

Tuesday, August 06, 2002

hey sweet lady. where's your tricks tonight?

last night sara spent the night with morgan. she ripped my shirt. i should get a picture. it is very ripped. this evening, we were going to have another kevin-elise-robin-laylee-lana night, but laylee and robin were stuck at home reading their required summer books. i should probably do that. i am nowhere near finished. so instead we had kevin-elise-brock-morgan-lana night. i think morgan LOVED hanging out with my friends. it was also really nice to see brock, since i've only met him once (sort of) and talked to him online a few times. i filmed some things, so a still or two maybe? we walked around cooper-young again (and found out that java cabana is closed on monday nights! or is it monday altogether? but if that were true, there wouldnt be anybody working there to tell us. and the woman who told us had been in experimental movement with morgan!) so we walked around. we looked in the house of mews. we spent a good long while at black lodge. most likely being loud and destroying everyone. we met a couple new workers there. elise told joe she loved him and he said, yet again, that he loved us too. (again, poor kevin!) i think joe was wearing the same damn thing, too. as if he'd been there for a full week. or maybe he only has seven outfits and that was his monday one. who knows. hm. after that we.. walked around more. then we drove to sonic and i just got a root beer. there was a beautiful moment when we were flipping around the radio and it was "sunny came home" and we were all singing. glorious. also i tried to sing "hey" by the pixies for them, but i think the parts about the whores made them (at least brock, maybe) uncomfortable and then kevin's face made me start laughing. it always does. when i'm doing things like that, i'll be doing fine and i'll look at him and he's just like, about to crack up. so i have to crack up. and i had gotten right to "where have you--" and then i laughed. gracious. so uh. morgan said the peak of the evening was sonic. then kevin took us home. it was a nice night. brittany is supposed to spend the night tomorrow. we have a lot a lot a lot planned!!! watch us go!
:::future brit and lana:::
brit: what do you wanna do
lana: i dont know. what do YOU wanna do
brit: i dont know.
:::etc etc etc:::
we were supposed to hang out with kevin and elise tomorrow night, but elise forgot that theyre going to see west side story with her family. too bad though. tomorrow is fucking registration blaggghhh. hate.